| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/31/2009 4:13:56 AM |
Certain religious sects particularly Christian, believe the the virginity of the daughter should be taken by the father, do they have the right?
Wrong end of stick! Msg 15 got it right.
Daughters pledge their virginity to their father, not that the father takes away their virginity!
Use a search engine for "purity ball" for some background.
Wikipedia says this:
A purity ball (also known as a father-daughter purity ball or purity wedding) is a formal event attended by fathers and their daughters. Purity balls promote virginity until marriage for teenage girls, and are often closely associated with U.S. Christian churches, particularly fundamentalist churches. Typically, daughters who attend make a virginity pledge; a pledge to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. Fathers who attend pledge to protect what they view as their young daughters' purity of mind, body, and soul. Proponents promote a strong father-daughter relationship as a means to affirm what they consider to constitute spiritual and physical purity.
HTH
Note to self: It doesn't say anything about preserving virginity in young men... | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:09:57 AM | | I think it's ok as long as it's done in private and not in front of the vicar and the guests. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:21:23 AM | My thoughts are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wouldnt buy a dishwasher if i didnt know if it worked well first
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:36:21 AM | Very much playing devil's advocate here...
What about those ppl who don't want to get married?
Should they stay celibate forever? I don't think so!
Why ever not? A person who pledges celibacy before marriage is saying that the point of marriage is that that is where sex belongs, as part of a total union. Anything else is using (abusing) another body for one's personal gratification.
what happens if you have gone out with a girl for say a year, marry her, get her in the sack and find out shes not very good in bed?
Well, if you were both virgins, how would you know what was "good in bed" and what was not?
They say marriage is made in heaven.......but most divorces are made in the bedroom.
But if one is of a faith that advocates abstinence before marriage, then divorce isn't on the agenda either. One would have to learn to live with it just as our grandparents did. Marriage in the eyes of an abstainer isn't to be able to have sex but to join two lives together in a committed union to live life as one family.
In the words of more than one female, its now called “Try before you buy”.
But a marriage isn't a purchase, and as I said above, divorce wouldn't be a option. There isn't any going back to the shop for a refund. I wonder what that quote says about our attitude to sex and couple-dom?
I plan to have plenty more pre-marriage sex thanking you very much
Is that sex before marriage or sex without contemplating marriage at all?
Interestingly, I can put the views of the abstainers without necessarily holding those views, and writing the above has made me ask myself - what has been lost by that division of sex, procreation and marriage into separate functions in society?
Even the Puritans in the 1600s knew that people had to really know each other before marriage and would encourage the couple to sleep together beforehand (there would be a binding-board between the couple or alternatively she would wear a tight-fitting sheath on her lower body to inhibit actual sexual intercourse) in order to allow them to assess their total commitment - and give them privacy to talk and canoodle.
The OP asked if saying no to pre-marital sex was relevant in today's modern society. I don't think it is relevant, but I wonder if it wouldn't be such a bad thing if saying no to "sex-without-marriage-in-mind" was made relevant - not through the diktat of a particular faith, but as a way of making marriage itself - especially when there are children - more of a lifetime commitment based on a long period of getting to know the other person and oneself before entering into it and not a ceremony one goes through knowing that there is an easy way out if one has made a mistake. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/31/2009 4:23:01 PM | Never been married myself.
Never had pre-marital sex either
same craic here mate..but i have had many a good wank though.... | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/31/2009 4:39:36 PM | How relevant in todays modern society is remaining a virgin until the wedding night?
It may have been a meaningful or relevant gesture when marriage was for keeps, but that's not really the case these days so it seems pointless.
Just like religion really...
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/31/2009 8:55:49 PM | Although I dont believe in any religeon, I think the idea of pre-marital sex is a bad one.
I mean some people can go even into their 40s eithout even getting married, how does that promote the continuation of the species with every generation taking roughly 20 years.
I do agree that it can cause many problems, like these teenage mums living off the state and such, but thats an argument for another time. Sex is something thatsenjoyable but risky, much like bungee jumping, its always safe to do it with a good piece of rubber 
And as someone who has had pre-marital sex at my young age of 18, im always careful as even though sex is enjoyable, a good workout and is used as the expression of "making love", i dont think that you should have to bound yourself to that person for the rest of your life before it. Sex is rife in our western society, just look at all the porn on the itnernet, we even have these Open-Marriages where couples fo off with other people, or let other people join in, and lets not even get on to the idea of sex-friends or **** buddies.
In truth, I think we can just enjoy it as it is but be safe with it. As I;m still young I dont want to catch an awful STD or end up with a child until I'm around 20-25. Though I'm still kind of traditional as I would be married when I eventually do "pop out a sprog" of my own 
Cheers
Alex | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:56:06 AM | Sex is rife in our western society,
where !!!! i am missing out on something
just look at all the porn on the itnernet
I know i see it every day it so norty
and lets not even get on to the idea of sex-friends or **** buddies.
to many **** for POF buddies
I dont want to catch an awful STD
I have never known a nice STD not that i ve ever had one  | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:02:03 AM | A healthy, vibrant sex life is vital to a relationship between two people who are planning to be together for any length of time.
The idea that two people will discover whether their hobbies, interests, place where they wish to live, places where they wish to holiday, etc, are compatiable but to not disocver whether they are compatiable sexually is so wrong on so many levels. It lacks emotional intelligence.
Sadly, many people do this and as, as a result, they either spend the rest of their lives in misery or live in misery until the inevitable divorce.
We all got here via a sexual act - yes, even the test tube babies - so why, in this day and age, so many people have sexual hang-ups is truly staggering.
A healthy, fulfilling sex-life is not the only cornerstone of a healthy marriage but it is certainly one of them. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:16:03 AM | Pre-marial sex....
I like the sofa idea....
However, it takes two people... ME? I always wait for the lady to make the first move or contact... if it's a hug and I like her then I will respond in favourable terms... If it's a direct question - then always answer it honestly...
Sure, honesty can hurt if you don't like the person or the chemistry isn't there but... lies can destroy more than trust, they can destroy the person.
I'm a single male - and things are different for males of my age group - it's more natural for younger people to 'test the water' and sleep around... women, incorrectly get a poor name by society's rules..
I say - "sod the rules!!!" Let's just get-on and do what comes naturally - whatever, wherever and whenever that is!!! Rocking around the Christmas tree is one thing... Frolicking around the bedroom can still be magical.... even more so, if it's under the stars and alongside a river running through a mystical wood.
Why talk about it ..... just do it   | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:31:00 AM | First of all, christianity doesn't forbid pre-marital sex, it forbids adultery which is something else entirely. And so what? People were having sex long before they invented religion. I think a lot of the sanctimonious moralising people indulge in over a perfectly natural act is in many cases just a cover up for for feelings of inadequacy/sour grapes.
Look, some people want to save it for marriage, fine, great, wonderful, but nobody can justify telling other people with different ideas that they're wrong. If someone thinks it's an offence against "god's" rules, could they explain to me why that god supposedly gave me the urge in the first place? I say do your thing and leave other people to do theirs. There is only one sin, and that's hurting people unnecessarily. If someone chooses to be offended by the fact some people have a different attitude to sex, that's their problem. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:10:18 AM | It's great...........Really, really great!
Much better than you get post marital thats for sure! | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:28:54 PM | | the great and not yet late Terry Pratchett says that there is only one sin, and that is treating people as if they were things. I am with him. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 11/8/2009 1:20:33 AM | I don't believe in marraige, so...
Having said that (and what makes me hypocritical) I agree with most of what {pud78} wrote. Most peeps on here have said that the teachings in The Bible are an outdated form of social control. It can't be that outdated when most of our basic laws are derived from it. In Leviticus you'll be able to read in detail certain "thou shalt nots" which were introduced to stop disease from spreading. The only thing that may seem outdated is that female gender roles in today's society are slightly more prominent than they used to be.
Someone asked the question "who married Adam and Eve?".
The answer is in the book of Genesis. God blessed the both of them. Not too long after that, they were booted out of the Garden of Eden.
It was the woman's fault, obviously... | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 11/8/2009 1:30:07 AM |
First of all, christianity doesn't forbid pre-marital sex, it forbids adultery which is something else entirely.
You're half right - it forbids both. Again, this all depends on which version of the bible you happen to be reading at the time.
"It is better for a person to marry than to burn in the flames of lust" - which is slightly misquoted but the meaning is pretty clear. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:09:09 AM |
pre-marital sex? your thoughts Totally personal and individual. Religion, culture, era--all not really the point: has to do with what each individual is comfortable with. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:18:54 AM | Ismene2: if only most people actually knew what was good for them...
Some of the younger generation are still falling for peer pressure and end up getting themselves into some dreadful scrapes and some of the more "mature" adult counterparts aren't any better. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 11/12/2009 11:06:01 AM | if only most people actually knew what was good for them... It is up to the individual, not me, to decide what is 'good for' him or her. Not up to me. If it is my child, I will guide him/her as best I can, but it is up to the individual. If someone wants to let religious belief guide him as to how to behave in any situation, that is his choice. Listening to and being guided by friends, family, religion, philosophy, social mores, and so on, this is the indivdiual's choice. It is not up to me to decide what is 'good' for others. Adults, of course. In respect to children, adults should be protecting them from harm, but once having reached the age of consent, it is up to the individual. | |
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