| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/1/2009 11:59:08 AM | | Ya know you should tell her that adding the men bother you and that if adding new people to your fb bother her, you will stop. Problem solved. Communicate now or forget your relationship. If you two don't trust each other with emails, forget trust any place. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:10:40 PM | | You're not fighting "because of Facebook", - you're fighting because of immaturity and incompatibility. It sounds like she needs to get a grip, but there are two sides to everything. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:11:02 PM | | ...these are really arguments you guys are having? Really? Where the hell is the trust in your relationship? Time to really re-evaluate is this is a healthy pairing... | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:56:39 PM | You weren't acting like a child by bringing that up to -her- (assuming you didn't talk like a kid when doing so). Feelings of jealousy by default never takes comparison & rationality into account... and if she got mad about girls (co-workers) being on your facebook, then it's obvious what lingers in her mind when she adds dudes on hers so frequently.
She had the right to question you, but she didn't have the right to even imply that it was unfair, not cool, etc., if they were old high school acquaintances, co-workers, etc., if she adds guys on her who you know (and she knows you know) are ideally wanting a little action if they could.
If you guys rarely use facebook and is only there out of courtesy when old friends, family, co-workers, etc say "Are you on facebook??", then I'd say you both should close them down. But I have a feeling that at least one of you are into it more than that, so it's going to be around. I say just have a civilized talk about it and the concept of having the ability to email attractive single guys & girls just a few clicks away. If one can't handle that, then either they or the relationship is too unstable. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:41:58 PM | | Tell her to switch to my space.LOL. Are you maybe over exaggerating 10 guys a week come on man, no way I don't even add 10 a month. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:37:16 PM | PittsburghVixen (msg 27) You're not fighting "because of Facebook", - you're fighting because of immaturity and incompatibility.
Facebook is not the issue. The actual issue lies beneath the Facebook topic at hand. I do believe Vixen identified the underlying issue. If left unresolved, it will surface through other topics of disagreement along the way. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:24:19 PM | thanks everyone for reading and commenting.........
heres some more insight..if i havnt spoken to you in 2 years , then youre not in my life so i dont add you....i was exagerating when i said she adds "10 guys a week"...i was just upset about her double standard and trying to get her to see the point....the fight kinda snowballed.
the way i see it is if all we re fighting about is FB , then we're actually in pretty good shape...
FYI.....i ended up calling her and wishing her luck in a speech that she was about to do....and she appologized then i did.....so its all good.....thanks every one. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:23:25 PM |
if all we re fighting about is FB , then we're actually in pretty good shape...
Unfortunately not. The topic is small, but the issue is large; there is a lack of trust, and both of you need to sit down and talk about this beyond the number of Facebook friends of the opposite sex each has.
A generic apology doesn't guarantee that the issue has been dealt with. I guarantee you it will resurface again in some form at some point in the future. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:13:19 AM |
FYI.....i ended up calling her and wishing her luck in a speech that she was about to do....and she appologized then i did.....so its all good.....thanks every one.
And yet, now that you feel this is resolved, your account here remains open.
Does your girlfriend know you signed up here? I'm guessing "no." How do you think she'd react?
How would this sound even to a sibling or good friend? "I signed up on a dating site, but it was just to ask for advice about my girlfriend." Not all good, not at all.
There are plenty of online venues to seek advice that are not dating sites. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:09:28 AM | | The old......I'M DOING SOMETHING WRONG SO U MUST BE TOO, AND I'LL PUT U ON THE SPOT AS TO DETRACT SPOTLIGHT OFF ME. I have been in a very similar situation 3 times. DO NOT BE APOLOGIZING FOR DOING NOTHING UNFAITHFULLY WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. In my experiences I made mistakes of apologizing in times like that cuz the lady's jealousy becomes her tool of manipulation into making u look and feel bad for doing same things she is but far less and with less bad intentions as her. The inability for her to rationally talk about this issue is most likely A MIND GAME TO DEFER U AWAY FROM TRUTH SEEKING OF WHAT'S SHE IS HIDING. I assure u she is hiding something, a big something from u. Can't tell u how messed up this will get for u, but 3 times in dealing with very similar acting JEALOUSY AND TWISTING OF SUBJECTS AND INFORMATION, AND QUICK TEMPER OUTBURSTS , such as hanging up phones. Endless questioning of ur behaviors while she's doing worse. I learned a lot of things about behaviors as such and ways of getting down to business. This is a females version of what the term, MIND GAMES is! Get ready for it and most likely get the heck out before she messes ur mind up. Can't tell u how many times in trying so hard outa love to just simply have a talk about those kinda things with the female and she just showed quick temperments or twisting of information back to attacking ur actions, ur trust, faith, love and mind. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:25:21 AM | | Landra, that is a double-standard. Did u notice him saying she has one? She's the one adding new guys all the time? So, suggestion would be, BOTH CLOSE FACEBOOKS. I assure the OP, though that he's in for a battle. She's gonna try and twist this guy up so to have things her way while making him feel bad about reasonable fears of her actions. Besides, if it sounds correct, he didn't ask of hers till she began the jealousy outa guilt conversation. OP, I'd help u way further with this cuz u gave me flashbacks.....lol. If u'd like, I will offer my email. I am not overstating things outa previous hurts, I bet if u tell me more she's doing and showing same signs as the ladies I dealt with. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:14:31 PM |
Landra, that is a double-standard. Did u notice him saying she has one? She's the one adding new guys all the time? He's only responsible for his own actions and behaviors. Perhaps if he closes his own account and gets away from that nonsense, he'll decide a girl who still plays around on FB lacks the maturity required for a real relationship. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:38:02 PM | | Very true Landra, and thank you for coming back to that. It is somewhat abt maturity, yes. Bad thing is, when he closes his then what? Sometimes being in love makes a person stay in that relationship far to long, cuz just thinking of the pain in dealing with losing that love is painful in itself. It by no means makes a person weak, for i have been there! I fought against the odds of changing her outa my love, willpower to succeed. Listen OP, I learned how to get them to stop doing certain things, NOT ALL THINGS, by using her tactics against her. Jealousy from her can cause her to re-evaluate doing it. I know it's wrong playing games against each other, but if u want to stay with a person like that then u better learn how to use her mind games against her. Do some investigating to see how honest she is. There's websites that u can obtain just about any info of her online activities. Just a suggestion is all. But ur gonna lose the game even if u win. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:54:06 PM | I think the point made about accusing someone of doing something is often because they are doing it is pretty accurate. That may be why the OP has backed off on this thread and had to point out that she apologized first...ego much?
But don't totally dis fb. I have reconnected with friends from when I was 4 yo! I have done similarly with myspace. Both sites are great to reconnect and make friends. I am sure they are great for dating for some people too. If you have your profile showing as you are single etc., well it is you playing the game. There are differences for being on the sites.
In this case, they have no trust, it is a matter of time. FB isn't the problem it is lack of communication and trust. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:39:17 PM |
I suggest you close out your FB account and get over it.
Do you really need your co-workers to know your mood?
Unless you're married and only using FB as a private messaging space for family and no one else, it doesn't nothing but cause drama.
BINGO. "Oh, I only use those sites to keep in touch, with long lost friends"... *Cough
I don't use Facebook, Myspace, or social networking site, except for... This site. =-P
Landra hit the nail on the head. It's just undue drama, that you don't even want to have to deal with.
Cut the accounts, and cut loose.
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:58:14 PM | | Just chalk this relationship up as "a learning experience" because neither of you sound like you really want a true committed relationship...too many open doors. Besides that, just ignore her and the drama, you'll be happier and you'll thank me for that advice later. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:11:26 PM | You're still talking with this gal? Amazing.
Guy or girl reading this, I'd run the other way if anyone quizzed me like that. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:55:51 AM | I suggest you close out your FB account and get over it.
Do you really need your co-workers to know your mood?
Unless you're married and only using FB as a private messaging space for family and no one else, it doesn't nothing but cause drama.
Maybe Myspace, but FB is a great networking tool for business, too.
Go look at the studies that have been done on social networking sites. FB's people tend to be affluent, urban, and college educated in relation to any other online social site.
I'm not sure if this is due to its roots within universities or not though. I have however been a member since the ground floor and I've found much value in it.
Anyways OP: Do you really want to put up with someone who's as suspicious and controlling as that? | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:34:02 AM | It doesn't get any more retarded than this. Even my dog has a FB page, with 1000+ friends. All from her old shelter, old friends ya know.....
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:01:48 AM |
It would totally piss me off if my man would add people to his facebook or myspace or whatever account. What's the point of having an account for the public to view? Set it to private or close the account; both of you. This way the problem is dealt with. Case closed.
If one is so worried about privacy, the Internet is not the best way to go. Why bother to have any account in the first place? | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:03:54 AM |
I don't use Facebook, Myspace, or social networking site, except for... This site. =-P
I don't know about "social networking" and having thousands of "friends" and all that but Facebook is great for keeping up with what is going on with the family. If I have a niece who is in college out west, I would never see or hear from her were it not for Facebook.
These sites are exactly what you make of them.. nothing more.. nothing less. | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:30:23 AM | What?
This sounds so ludacris to me!
I have never, in all my woe's, developed a case of Facebook jealousy/drama!
Forgetting the OP for a moment, what surprises me is many of the following comments.
I love Facebook for the fact, a.) It's a lot less demanding than talk to your friends of MSN, sometimes. b.) Status updates allow you to know what's happening in your friends/families lives-how they're feeling, without, having to dial out and find out for yourself (Which, is a blessing to people with a hundred projects on the go).
Plus, it reminds you of upcoming birthdays, and has certainly allowed me to reconnect with friends I've lost contact over the years.
I'm a socail person, but, I don't always have the time to invest with the people I reconnected with. If anything, I've found there's a lot -less- jealousy, with the people I seem to have demanded attention from.
Either way, if something as meanial as adding the opposite sex on Facebook is a problem, hold on to your seat...Life is going to through you some interesting ones, soon enough.
Also, perhaps insecure people shouldn't have an account on there. It is, afterall, a networking site.
I have never once questioned anything about anyone I have dated, based on the amount of chick friends they have on Facebook. If someone is going to cheat. They're going to cheat. Facebook isn't, and never has, going to stop that.
Word! | |
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| fighting because of facebook.....
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:42:54 AM | “Fighting because of Facebook” is an idiomatic expression that has never been, nor will it ever be, part of my lexicon.
This sounds so ludacris to me!
Ludacris is on Facebook??? He seems more the type to say it with tweets.  | |
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