| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:18:52 PM |
good old meet for a drink, with an option for dinner if both parties feel like it, works well for me, too.
This was my favorite way to do the first meeting. I find it vastly superior to some uncomfortable "coffee" thing.
Men who want coffee dates instead of dinner are cheap Mother F****ers.
Oh hon.. please understand that most men would love to take the women on a very nice date if they were truly who they said they were. After a few dates where the woman who shows up is old enough to be your mother etc... even the best of us have to change the way we do things... | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:24:09 PM | | Never did coffee or drinks. That isn't to say all my dates were dinner dates. There are some fun activities you can do that don't involve coffee at a boring restaurant or drinking in a bar. I also got to know the guys pretty well before I met them too. The end result is what is important, it worked for me. | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:47:40 PM |
There are some fun activities you can do
Well do tell... since you didn't do coffee, drinks, or sit in a boring restaurant... what fun inexpensive things did you do for a first meeting that worked for you? | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:57:33 PM | Coffee dates can have some pitfalls:
Are you experiencing butterflies at the sight of your date, or indigestion?
Is the rush you experience from hormones or simply caffeine?
It can take experience to tell the difference, so coffee dates are not for amateur coffee drinkers.
Anyway, I prefer meeting for drinks if they drink, as alcohol does lower some social inhibitions and promotes conversation - for me, if not for them! Some of my best first meetings were at museums or bookstores. | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:03:23 PM | I prefer "tequila dates"....
Although some anejo tequilas are good with an orange slice and a little expresso powder
yup...^^^ those kind...and yummm...! | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:04:43 PM | ^^ <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>
OT: Not unless there is some Kahlua involved!
Edit: w/ the coffee that is.
Double Edit: Although some anejo tequilas are good with an orange slice and a little expresso powder.
Can I Do This Again? Edit: Or even a little cinnamon. | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:05:27 PM | I live near in a pretty historical or hysterical, depending on how you look at it, area. I have done tours of Gettysburg, Antietam, and given tours of my town. I have done ice cream dates. Museums. I have done dinner and lunch dates. Sky line drive. Movies. Cemeteries. Swimming. Drum and Bugle Corp competition. Ghost tours. Gosh, there are so many things you can do. My fiance and I met in Gettysburg and did the battlefield. I love history and exploring. If you have an interest in something, I think it can make a great date. Again, don't forget that I didn't just get an email and meet up with someone, I emailed and talk to them on the phone before we decided on the when and where.
I am looking forward to doing an iMax theater. I don't know how many people have been to a theater like that, I haven't. I think that would be a great date and will be. I like doing movies and dinner as the movie gave you something in common and something to talk about.
EDIT: My daughter just asked if she can go see a parade with a guy...sounds like a fun date to me. | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:37:38 PM |
I am looking forward to doing an iMax theater.
Uh.. most of the ideas you gave are for dates that commit some amount of time which is why I asked. This is about meets. It's more difficult to come up with something to do for a quick meet other than just a drink.
Cemeteries.
How did I miss that one for a fun filled first date  | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:55:25 PM | Again, don't forget that I didn't just get an email and meet up with someone, I emailed and talk to them on the phone before we decided on the when and where.
Uh.. most of the ideas you gave are for dates that commit some amount of time which is why I asked. This is about meets. It's more difficult to come up with something to do for a quick meet other than just a drink. Duhhhhhh I stated I didn't do coffee or drinks. I stated I got to know the guys before we decided what we were going to do. I don't believe in this crap of emailing once and meeting real quick to see if there is chemistry! You get to know the person a bit by emailing and talking on the phone. Like I continuously state, it has worked for me. Quantity doesn't mean crap. Quality is what you are looking for and getting to know someone and having a real date, yeah, that works.
Historical cemeteries are fascinating. But I enjoy learning and I know many people have no desire to further their educations, expand their minds, or appreciate sculpture and art. | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:41:52 PM |
You get to know the person a bit by emailing and talking on the phone.
Total crap.. you don't know anyone until you actually meet them.
Historical cemeteries are fascinating.
Whatever does it for you. I'll not only pass on the activity but also on any woman that finds this to be a "fun" activity.
I know many people have no desire to further their educations, expand their minds, or appreciate sculpture and art.
Get over yourself already.... you don't find fkn culture in the local cemetery.. | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:04:08 PM | I also think historical cemeteries are a lot of fun. I've visited them here in the States, Europe and Asia. If you don't think you can find any culture there, you've obviously never looked very closely.
So yeah, I think it's a great idea for a first meet, if you've got an interesting one nearby. The Civil War Battlefields would float my boat, too. | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:55:43 PM |
Total crap.. you don't know anyone until you actually meet them. You do get to know someone well enough to know if you want to go on a date with them. As I continuously say, it worked for me.
Whatever does it for you. I'll not only pass on the activity but also on any woman that finds this to be a "fun" activity. And that is the point of emailing and talking on the phone, if someone that likes sculptures and art is a turn off to you, then you don't date them.
Get over yourself already.... you don't find fkn culture in the local cemetery.. Ummm exactly what am I supposed to get over, the fact that I claim that the style of dating I did worked for me? I didn't say you found culture in a local cemetery; however, as there is a really great black cemetery in my area that is different than other cemeteries, I guess you could say that it can broaden your cultural awareness.
I forgot about the "Old Jail" in my area. It was part of the underground railroad and they actually had hangings there. It is also a great place to go. It has not only different exhibits different times during the year, but they even had a sleep over for ghosts this past Halloween. I am sure that was excellent for some ghost chasers.
Just down the street from the Old Jail is a house where John Brown lived when he was planing the Harper's Ferry raid. Frederick Douglass also met with him nearby. The house is a historical society that is another interesting visit.
Of course I didn't mention Harper's Ferry for another great day trip! You could spend a weekend there, so much to see. As I said, I live in a pretty historical area.
This summer we did a day trip to the Smithsonian. We got in two of the museums.
So many fabulous free dates you can do. No worries about who pays for the coffee.
brightestblue totally gets it.
Some times it isn't what you are doing, it is who you are doing it with. | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:00:20 PM | For some people who find coffee dates completely unsuccessful, I wonder if your date thinks the same way. Sometimes, a succesful date is not so much about finding the perfect someone, as it is avoiding the problem children.
"Whew, didn't think I'd get out of there alive. Thank goodness, it was only coffee. I'd blown my head off if I had to listen to that person drone on for one more minute. And you should have seen her go through the muffins. I didn't have the nerve to tell her they were bran muffins, and that eating 6 or 7 might curtail any productive activities for the weekend. And she even took one in her purse,, for later. I'm not sure, but I think I'm going to be banned from Starbucks." | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:09:36 PM |
Some times it isn't what you are doing, it is who you are doing it with.
You know, I was thinking about it earlier tonight myself: actually doing chores around the house could be fun ... if it was done with that special someone. It's not the coffee and it's not the dinner ... you could be just sitting there in a bus stop; if the chemistry is there, it is there. If the chemistry is there, hours will pass like minutes since you're both are enjoying each others' company. Who really cares about the activity - in that situation, my focus would be on her.
And thus, at the heart of the matter and at least in my book, that is the reason why it is such a silly question. | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:20:57 PM |
I also think historical cemeteries are a lot of fun.
Well adding that to your list of other fun activities (philosophy, nature, opera, British television, etc) and I just can't imagine why you are still looking... | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:28:38 PM | op,
agree...but you need to try to view it differently, nevertheless...else it might become a self-fulfilling prophecy... | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:34:31 PM |
Well adding that to your list of other fun activities (philosophy, nature, opera, British television, etc) and I just can't imagine why you are still looking...
actually, I'm not looking. I'm quite happily taken, by someone I met here. And no, our first date wasn't at a cemetery. 
As aaamm said, isn't it nice that e-mailing back and forth first can quickly weed out those we are incompatible with. I would have felt really horrible, dragging some poor, unsuspecting guy to a historical site on our first date, when all he wanted was a coffee! | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:38:33 PM |
Well adding that to your list of other fun activities (philosophy, nature, opera, British television, etc) and I just can't imagine why you are still looking...
Uhm ... not that it matters, but you haven't read her profile, huh?
Anyways, the thing is that at the end of the day, the activity is secondary. Would you rather be doing an activity that you don't like so much with a fascinating woman, or an activity that you love with a woman where there is no chemistry whatsoever? What is the priority of the date?
For example, I hate shopping with a passion. Just don't like it at all. However, with a woman who I was fascinated with, I'd do it in a heartbeat. It isn't because all of a sudden I love shopping ... it is because I want to spend time with her. | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:06:02 PM | I don't see how emailing back and forth and talking on the phone helps anything.
I have had great conversations with people on the phone and then when I met them in person, it was completely different. Sure it was fun talking on the phone with them at the time, but it was a big let down when I met the person and knew pretty quickly that
I never wanted to see them again.
Coffee first meets, drinks first meets or whatever- you need to meet in person to tell if
this is somebody that you really want to spend time with, in my opinion. | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:53:08 PM | | Sure it does, you have something to discuss with them. You know them a little. You know them well enough to know what they do for a living, where they live, and other information that can be discussed further or you can decide you don't want to go out with them. Getting to know them and their likes, hobbies, etc. before you meet, really can help you to weed out those that are Debbie Downers...negative...kill joys and those that you have absolutely no connection with. To me my time getting ready to go out, driving there, spending time there, and coming home, is much more than the time emailing or talking on the phone. You can't expect that everyone you date you want to marry. That is what dating is about, getting to know someone more, to see if you want to spend more time with them. Dating can be fun. Your date is what you make of it. | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:54:10 AM | Funny that the cemetary visit came up. I took a date to a fall festival in a small town. Parking was whereever you could find a place. We parked in a church parking lot. On the way back to the car we took a shortcut and ended up in the cemetary by the church. All the headstones were from the 1800's and some weremworn beyond recognition. We spent a good 30 -45 minutes there.
aaamm- you must not be too far from me. I'm in the DC suburbs. Don't forget Charlestown if Harpers Ferry doesn't fill the day. It's always fun to bet a few dollars on the horses. It doesn't cost to get in so you only spend what you bet. If nothing else West Virginia is fun to people watch. WooHoo.
As far as the first meet goes. I think you have to evaluate each situation. If someone is close to me (5-10 minutes) I think nothing of meeting them for coffee rather quickly. We might as well as it is just as easy as talking on the phone or email and if you pick a safe public place like a coffee shop or restaurant than no worries. You can keep it short in case they are a bore or not what they represented in their pictures and profile and reconvene when every you decide.
If I'm going any kind of distance, a quick coffee doesn't make any sense to me. In that case I would want to spend a lot more time on the phone or email before driving an hour to meet someone. | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:36:24 AM |
We spent a good 30 -45 minutes there
Well isn't that nice... I think ya'll should plan a pof event in the graveyard seeing how it's so much fun and all.... | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:51:47 AM | a date is a date is a date.... who cares if its at a museum, restaurant, bar, flea market or in a cafe having coffee? Dont people scrutinize anyway in any situation when first meeting? Some coffee dates feel that chemistry and go home with each other...others may have just found something worth investigating more... others blah.
If you cant know someone a little better, then what's the purpose of going to do something that has less about who you do it with? I.e., mini golf, bowling, a movie a play are all horrible first and even second date ideas... it all is a diversion to actually getting to know the other person. a movie or a play? seriously... going to watch other people talk and have dialogue?
.... you are looking for a hang out partner, not a romantic partner... all those things you can also do by yourself... having interesting conversation, a few laughs over whatever kind of drink you cant do alone...
maybe you are just meeting boring people over coffee...
<quote>
i feel u, girl. coffee dates are dumb, but thankfully : i'm sooo picky that the men i date if they DID Suggest it, *and they almost never do *, but if so, then i'd balk and they'd quickly offer up a much better alternative.
in my opinion, coffee dates r 4 loozers ! hey - if the guy is sooo cheep-cheep ass, then why even spring 4 coffee ? just meet 4 a max of 45 seconds, and if you still like each other ( chemistry and attraction are obvious in 30 sec btw ) then go do somethin fun and let him make u feel special or dont waste either one's time !
me , personally i like 2 watch someone's table manners and general demeanor in a restaurant setting. if they slurp, lick their fingers, get food all over themselves, it tells me they got the mental capacity of a 5 year old ! and that you'll be sorry if u end up w/ them and yall ever get invited to somethin like a wedding, God forbid
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This is obviously a very inexperienced dater... only a real wuss bag loser would put up with someone balking and them coming back with another offer just to appease them... red flag alert: high maintenence whiney chick that is more interested in the offer than a person... no MAN would even think twice about this..
Poor table manners are a turn off, but poor grammar and spelling are deal breakers. ;-) | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:25:17 AM | Poor table manners are a turn off, but poor grammar and spelling are deal breakers. ;-) Please do check out your own post. We use capital letters at the begining of sentences and periods at the end. The quote function is also quite simple and I often wonder how people mess that up. I won't say it is lack of intelligence, but perhaps not paying attention to the detail.
A pleasant environment for a date makes the date more pleasant. If two people agree on a location, it is great. I don't believe that coffee or drink dates are good, but again I liked to get to know the person before I agreed to a first date, so I had real dates. I was looking for someone to share everything with including activities. I enjoyed my dates. Doing something you enjoy does make for a better date. It isn't a diversion, it is called sharing.
My fiance does live 2 hours away, so as I said, time getting ready, going to the date, the date, and coming home always were time consuming. I liked weeding out the negative people ahead of time. My glass over flows.
As I stated before, often who you are doing the activity with is what makes it enjoyable. | |
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| Successful Coffee Dates?
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:54:18 AM | Hm. My last date suggested dinner, I suggested coffee instead. It lasted 2 hours. There's a dinner date in the works for the 2nd date. Works fine for me.
I think some people just tend to over-think these things. | |
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