| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/22/2007 11:12:35 PM | | You can tell if they are faking. Eyes, muscles, wetness. Why aren't they faking sex then. Think that I'll start faking it. That'll show them. | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/22/2007 11:32:22 PM | | i have had about 9 sexual partners, and have been having sex for over 4 years (i know not lng hahaha) and i have never had an orgasm but each bf ive had has thought i had. so i dont know whether it is better or not, but i know that not all guys can tell. i have told a couple of my ex's that they never made me orgasm, and they were like "yes i did, i know i did... orwhat about that time?" but no. sadly no... | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/23/2007 1:00:46 AM | I have to say it... I find it very unattractive the way some women are PROUD of the fact they fake it and that they "fool" the guys about it... If you could hear how you sound - crowing about it.
Thing is, you're no different from the guys who boast about getting some "tail".
Women and men are more alike than either gender is comfortable or willing to admit. | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/23/2007 2:00:09 AM | | A man can usually tell if a woman is faking.Why do it? it is the woman who is missing out,yes some guys need it to boost their ego, but these cavemen are really not worth being with. Sex should be something both partners enjoy together, that they can work on to improve each others enjoyment. I dont allways orgasm myself but if my partner has then I'm happy for her.Faking can never be good as it makes you decitfull and thats not a basis for a happy relationship. | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/23/2007 2:05:00 AM | | If you have never had an orgasm in 4 years whats clever about faking it. your the one who's missing out. Why dont you tell your partner and then you can both work to getting your first orgasm.Once you have done it you will never look back. | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/23/2007 9:29:32 AM | This is to all the FAKERS:
Instead of faking it how bout saying "I like this" or "do more of that", how else is he gonna know how to get you off. What exactly do you achieve by faking? You are cheating yourself out of pleasure and more importantly you are lying to him and treating him as though he's a fool, which shows what little respect you have for him.
No you aren't protecting his feelings, when he figures out eventually that you were "faking"/"lying" he will feel extremely insulted and disrespected. This behaviour also causes one to wonder what else you "fake" in your day to day life. Have you never heard of communication? | |
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HzChld
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Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 185 | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/23/2007 10:20:38 PM | | I know im going to totally regret this. I had to delete my last account for replying to a forum question like this. Ive always found that intense muscle contractions equal the big O, ditto with being bittin. Hard. Also, and im probaly going to get it now, most women wil expell fluid during orgasm, so if the bed is turned into a swamp, youve done your job guy, if not, then what the hell are yah doing? Im probably very wrong about this, but its the way ive seen it so bring on the reprisals!!!!!! | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/23/2007 11:11:22 PM | | I can't believe that someone would care. I don't fake it and don't think I should ever have to. Sometimes we orgasm, sometimes we don't. If your ego is that fragile, quit wasting my time and go read a self help book. | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/24/2007 1:43:34 AM | Some people give too much information...While others don't think logically enough...
Its a shame too as the question is "Can men tell when a woman is faking it?" Some of the responses though are all over the map!! LoL..
**I still think the 2 best comments came from
No you men CAN NOT TELL!! I love the men that swear they know. You wish you did
and
Keep this discussion going! I love hearing all of the ways guys can "tell" that
we're faking it! lmao. Truth is, there's no way in hell any of you know the truth unless you ask the question "Did you come?" and she doesn't lie!
--> THEY ANSWERED THE QUESTION :) I mean ~ That is the point right?  | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/24/2007 1:47:04 AM | Well, I don't usually discuss anything quite this personal in a public forum, but, I will admit that yes, I have on many occasions faked it. Why? Because it became SO important to the guy I was with that he wouldn't relax and just enjoy. It became a constant "test of his masculinity" to be able to make me, so finally, I learned to just say "oh baby yes" convincingly enough that he'd relax and then we could both enjoy. (Of course, then you have to listen to the crowing later of "see I knew you could if you'd just......." *sigh*)
If a woman tells you she's ok with NOT having an orgasm this time or ever, believe her, and let her enjoy it however she chooses. If you keep insisting that you MUST be able to do it for her, you can't complain when she fakes it. (And to answer the OP....no, if a woman is truly in tune to her own body, she can fake it so well that absolutely no man in the world could tell the difference. I'd bet my farm on that.) | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/24/2007 8:39:08 AM | | I agree with BobbinAlong. Wow! Can't believe this thread is still going. I started it when I first joined POF. Left and came back, and it's still going. Still can't believe some men think they can tell. No way! Guys, quit fooling yourselves. So many overlook the fact that the whole experience is enjoyable, if you know what you're doing and have enough experience to know how to please a lady, with or without the Big O! Like I said, sometimes it's an ego thing for the guys. Very interesting opinions from all posters here. | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/24/2007 1:43:14 PM | Sure are a lot of comments to this one, some just joking and others serious. Might as well add my own. Usually a man can tell if he is paying attention and knows the "signs". There are fairly consistant physiological changes that occur. Some things can be faked of course, but it isn't the screaming, or thrashing about that are significant. It's the autonomic responses that are really pretty impossible to fake. A few to look for: At the point of orgasm both men and women have rhymithic spasms, pulsations. These result in a man ejaculating, his semen coming out in series of spurts. Women don't usually spurt but they do have the contractions. They are hard to fake because they are very fast, about 3 times a second for both sexes. There is a tremendous autonomic nervous discharge at orgasm. This results in things like the sexual flush that some people describe. It's sometimes described as a butterfly rash across the face, and the chest area is often red as well. The heart rate goes up very high, 140 or so and there is often a piloerector response, your hair literally stands on end. The nervous discharge causes the tiny muscles at the base of each hair to contract raising the hairs slightly.
Of course if he is close to orgasm himself he may be too, uh distracted, to notice and the intensity of the cllimax can vary a lot from time to time with the signs not very pronounced. Still, it's usually not that hard to tell. The real question of course is why would a woman want to fake it. For most of us, sex is about the sharing of closeness and pleasure. If my lover isn't enjoying herself too, then much of my pleasure in the act is lessened. And lastly of course, you can enjoy the act with a lover without having a climax though its normally more pleasurable if yur do have one. | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/26/2007 1:15:56 AM | | Is faking it "cheating"? What is "it"? Can men fake "it" (O,E, Love, exclusivity, etc.) and can women tell? And the oscar goes to ....!! | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/26/2007 11:11:44 AM | I see so many similarities between this and various fraud examination and interview techniques it is getting ridiculous at this point.
There are plenty of easy ways to tell psychologically. Think of faking as a lie for a minute. Look for patterns in a partners obvious lies. You know how you can ask leading questions in an interview? You can use the same techniques to discern any lie. Look for motive. Does she truly seem like she is enjoying it? Has she given any hints that maybe she thinks your ego is the size of a house? Did she tell you she doesn't orgasm easily then all of a sudden go from nothing to a violent orgasm? Did this happen when you didn't change a thing about your technique physically, mentally or otherwise? Were you even stimulating her clit when this supposedly happened?
It is true that a man can't 'know' for sure. Unfortunately, you can't just ask and expect a truthful answer 'in general'. So you have to find out in other ways! The alternative involves blind faith or blind trust. I am not one of those guys that would consider being with a woman longterm and not know that half her orgasms are fake.
What is the best way for a suspect to stand the best chance of getting through an interrogation? The suspect should cross his arms and say absolutely nothing except, "I want an attorney". Similarly everytime a partner has sex and fakes an orgasm, it gives a discerning person the chance to catch them in that lie. If they never or rarely fake, they are likely not to have any inhibitions. If they do fake and you want to find out psychologically, just sit back and let them build their own case against themselves by repeatedly giving you clues that what they are experiencing is anything but real. You really shouldn't have to do anything expect be a good observer! Most people make many mistakes when they try to deceive and lie. The biggest mistake is often doing anything at all. Give a person information that is a lie and you give them a chance to discover that lie! I am pretty much betting on people making mistakes, being ignorant, careelss or some combination of those.....
Remember the difference between genius and stupidity? Genius has limitations! See what I am getting at?
When she is actually having her orgasm, try varying what you do physically! Typically there will be some sort of pattern to a woman's sensitivity and what she likes during the orgasm. There is never just one thing that will be a catch-all to tell if a woman is faking. But when you put together 10-20 or more different bits of compelling evidence and know your partner inside and out, it becomes easier. Ever thought that maybe the reason some women fake is very closely tied to the details that they do not tell their partner about how they can achieve orgasm and how their body works? I'd be willing to bet there would almost always be a very close connection. People often fake things and often lie because of their own dishonesty. It is not a pretty path.
I'd never ASSume a woman is having an orgasm based on anything. I am going to give her an opportunity over time to tell me everything about her orgasmic response and to be as open with me as she feels comfortable with.
It is no more beneficial to ASSume that a woman IS having an orgasm than to take a contentious stance and ASSume that she is faking. I don't have an expectation either way. But what I do get is a lot of information. Over time I learn a great deal about my partner. I'd say that in very few instances have I had much doubt after enough time passes.
People can be great at lieing. But having to remember lies and having to keep them up actively for very long periods of time? Most people get lazy and get caught. | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/26/2007 11:19:18 AM |
faking orgasm = faking intimacy.
Nope. Faking an orgasm is not that big of a faking deal. Some of you boys are so butt hurt over something so stupid. If she is faking it because you aren't doing it right, she is stupid. If she is faking it to save you then you should praise her for that. Why have a conversation about:
"sorry honey I just can't cum tonight'
"oh yeah you can, what can I do"
"nothing"
'Oh I am sure that ain't true, come on'
"not going to happen'
"is it me, what did I do wrong..."
That is why I have faked it before. No need for the conversation, no intimacy lost. He goes to bed thinking he had great sex, and she goes to bed without some stupid conversation.
Besides, sex is not all about the orgasm for many. I have had great sex without ever cuming. So why not make it sound good for him. He didn't do anything wrong. He did it all right, just wasn't happening that night. Don't want him to change a thing, so I let him think I came. Big deal. | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/26/2007 11:41:03 AM | Oh, HELL naw! To fake it is like ...rewarding bad behavior!
I am not gonna waste my time getting naked only to fake the prize. Now sex is great.the act itself and I dont' always have to have an orgasm to enjoy it. But I sure as hell ain't gonna fake it if it doesn't happen. I can be plenty verbal without cashing out at the end. | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/26/2007 11:44:43 AM | Bubbles,
In that case, the guy did do several things wrong. Just because he didn't make a physical mistake, doesn't mean he is in the clear. He had no clue that you need two to tango. He thought he could generate your orgasm! Big mistake. He also didn't listen to you at all. You didn't want to have an orgasm or didn't feel you could that night, but he bull-headedly insisted on going forward with it. If I did that, I wouldn't feel bad at all if what I got was a fake orgasm as a result of such an effort.
Also don't assume a guy doesn't know a woman fakes just b/c he doesn't call her on it.
I can tell you from personal experience that it isn't much fun to sit there and watch a woman fake an orgasm. You watch her do it and she goes through all the motions and even carries on with the story for quite awhile. Put yourself in that position for a minute or two. First thing that goes through my head usually when that happen is something like, "wow, that sure is lame!" Good example of why it isn't good to assume anything about a guy's ego or about how he derives pleasure in the bedroom.
It is a big deal b/c a lot of guys very definitely know. And you also run the risk of them finding out the more you do it. | |
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| Can men tell when a woman is faking it?
Posted: 2/26/2007 11:52:37 AM |
Oh, HELL naw! To fake it is like ...rewarding bad behavior!
I am not gonna waste my time getting naked only to fake the prize. Now sex is great.the act itself and I dont' always have to have an orgasm to enjoy it. But I sure as hell ain't gonna fake it if it doesn't happen. I can be plenty verbal without cashing out at the end.
Oh absolutely. I love it when a woman gives it all she has verbally. There can be a very fine line between building it up verbally and physically and actually having an orgasm. All the moan screams etc often play a huge role in her actually getting there. I know I can help a woman to orgasm by verbalizing a lot more myself during sex. It is 'fake' in the sense that I know I have control and won't actually blow my top, but it still does a lot for arousing both parties. It is all about being open and fully expressive. | |
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