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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:14:32 AM | waofm you may be right about my profile being negative I'll have to try to look a it wiht a fresh eye. It has been building for about 3 years now. Good bit o fit comes from my dating experiences. LOL
I'm a student becuase I need money to live, investing in a relatinship is whole different topic. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:20:19 AM | I will never again have to go down the tampon isle in the grocery store!
I can sleep in the center of the bed and leave the TV on, if I want to.
In the morning no one says ~ Do you know you snore?
tb | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:22:57 AM |
I will never again have to go down the tampon isle in the grocery store!
Amen, Sister!!! Free at last, Free at Last! Thank God Almighty, I am free at last!   | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:31:01 AM | | Being positive and happy, regardless of age, will bring you an abundance of good things in your life. Law of Attraction. Be happy with yourself, and others will see what a wonderful person you truly are! | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:38:50 AM | | you can sit around and make up excuses of why its so great to be alone....then, when you go to bed at night, wake up in the morning, have nobody to share that great news you got today, do things alone, be alone, you remember why it sucks to be alone. Give me a good women anyday....I'll put up with the other stuff. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:40:36 AM |
Mid-50s and I've been single for almost 3 years Single three whole years, oh, boo hoo....
Sorry, OP, but .... either find someone to fill the gap or get used to it....Did someone promise you a rose garden? | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:44:55 AM | After the end of an 11 year relationship I woke up one morning and realised I had no ties and no obligations (she even took the cat).
In the last three years I have learned to be just fine on my own, travelled way more, made more friends, done what I want when I want, quit my desk job and gone back to the mountains, lost weight and got fitter, taken way more photographs, developed new interests (in particular road cycling) and in general I'm just loving life.
I don't care about my age (50) - too many people concern themselves with the number of years instead of living their life. But the upside for me is - I'm finally back :) | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:52:13 AM |
you can sit around and make up excuses of why its so great to be alone....then, when you go to bed at night, wake up in the morning, have nobody to share that great news you got today, do things alone, be alone, you remember why it sucks to be alone. Give me a good women anyday....I'll put up with the other stuff.
I lived with someone for over 14 years and then lost her in 2002 to illness. Although I am happy and not lonely or miserable I will second what the above poster says. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:19:04 AM | | I'm with Pete. Same situation, widowed 5 years ago after 31 years. Most of you sound like you got out of a bad relationship but there are some of us that had good/great relationships with people that encouraged us, loved us, treated us with care and respect, enjoyed doing things together and having seperate interests. Since being on my own I have returned to work, travelled to Europe and Mexico, hiked the Grande Canyon, bought a car and a new motorcycle, changed my condo around, and "got on with life". But nothing can replace the warmth of someone you love sharing your bed, your dreams, your plans for the future, the joy of grandchildren, the laughs and tears of life, a meal, someone to do everything with and someone to do nothing with. There is nothing like chatting about your day while you wash the dishes and he drys. Some don't mind being on their own but I for one enjoy like as two. And I think the above forum posters that talk about how wonderful their life is since being on their own would give it all up for a loving relationship. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:26:26 AM | Op, I would much rather be in a relationship than alone. But there are some pluses to being single. I think the main one has been mentioned by several people already-the complete freedom to choose all the things you want to do or how you want to live.
But you need to use that freedom to enjoy it. If you simply work, come home, do nothing, you're going to be bored and lonely. And if you were married for a long time you may be out of practice with trying new things, I know I was. So you've got to step outside of your comfort zone and do something different, try something new. It doesn't have to be anything crazy, buy a can of paint and change the color of a room to something new, something you would love. Stop to eat on the way home from work at a new restaurant, someplace you've never been before with cuisine you've never tried. Check out some new hobbies, take a class, find places to hear live music. Whatever you can find, do it. You may find it's not for you but you'll start to understand that you do have choices and how to act on them. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:34:01 AM | 1. You can go to bed when YOU want
2. No quizzical looks, except from the cat
3. The stuff you bring back from the grocery store is the right stuff
4. Day 3 in the same socks, and nobody cares
5. You get to turn the stereo WAY up, dance your brains out
6. Dishes get done after you've had a good, long, but one sided conversation with them
7. Your neighbours have no idea what you're up to, smile and wave !
and you'd give this all up for the right person | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:34:20 AM | Rusty,
Of course there are a lot of posters who are hoping to find a loving relationship. But that wasn't the question that was posed by the OP.
She asked: What's the upside to being over 50 and single. There are a lot of upsides...and some downsides to being single. Just like every other situation that is known to man. There are the good and not-so-good to everything.
I would really like to find a man who I could spend the rest of my life with...but I haven't yet, and right now I'm not looking to, so I choose to look at the upside of my single life. I don't want to be a "Debbie Downer", I want to think of what life has to offer me...rather than what I could have, and don't. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:50:57 AM | My house is clean.
Or my house is messy...
...Oh how I relate. Right now my house is messy.
As it turned out I recieved a reprieve from babysitting so I was able to attend my "Monster Mash" after all last night. So after handing out candies I quickly got ready and headed out to meet friends. As it turned out, I had a blast. My friend Frank (Frankenstein) and I cleaned up at pool. I didn't get home till the wee hours. I laughed till it hurt, haven't done that in a while.
And I didn't have to worry about looking after anyone who had too much to drink or leaving early because of it. 
btw...another upside to being single....having the whole bed to myself.
Another downside...having the whole bed to myself
OP, the long and the short of it is there are many, many upsides to being single at any age. But there are downsides too, as I'm sure you and others have discovered by now.
Otherwise we wouldn't be here right?
Just thought of another upside to being single...staying in my jammies for however long I want...
Oh oh.... *light bulb moment* I just had a thought..... how nice it would be to "not be in my jammies" *wink*
...maeflowers | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:52:03 AM | "when you go to bed at night, wake up in the morning, have nobody to share that great news you got today, do things alone, be alone, you remember why it sucks to be alone. Give me a good women anyday....I'll put up with the other stuff."
"Putting up with the other stuff" is a hint that the real issue in that statement is
co dependency.
"Most of you sound like you got out of a bad relationship but there are some of us that had good/great relationships with people that encouraged us, loved us, treated us with care and respect, enjoyed doing things together and having seperate interests. "
Because we have had that we realize that what we had was one in a million or two. After we spend a few years in datingland, we realize the true value of what we had, and realize too that we won't accept anything less and end up in a bad relationship.
I don't get what the issue is with being single and having to try to be happy. Some of us are very happy, and won't/couldn't wake up in the morning with any one less than what we deserve to share our lives with. Having had real love, we learned the true value of love, and won't be accepting/pretending that we have found "the One" again.
Someone said to me years ago, "at least you had real love even if you had to go through being widowed. Most people never get a death do you part real love that stood the test of time". That person was right.
It has nothing to do with being willing to risk. Nothing to do with having to be with someone because we can't stand being single because we have to be part of a couple or we figure we don't measure up. It has to do with true happiness that comes from inside, and the recognition that if love isn't real, it isn't worth our time. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:54:09 AM | ^^^I'm with you, Rosebud. Focus on the positives.
OP - understand your point re study; I went & got my degree at 50 yrs of age, just because of the way the world has changed and employers now demanding that 'bit of paper'. But I couldn't cope with study + relationship, so the study took priority. Hope you're more fortunate in that respect. I made the right choice. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:57:37 AM |
I will never again have to go down the tampon isle in the grocery store
I stock up on tampons at Costco so I will have one handy if a female vistor needs one, and it does happen not infrequently. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:25:09 AM | I've discovered that the upside is bigger than the downside.
Way way bigger.
Maybe I may meet someone who changes my mind on that, if he walks down my sidewalk out of the blue one day.
Because I've certainly stopped doing the "looking around for someone" thing.
And instead just enjoying the upside. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 10:20:23 AM | I would much rather be 50 (or any age, for that matter) and single than be in a bad relationship. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship where you are miserable. It's much more lonely than being single.
When you are single you can do what you want when you want. You have no one to whom you have to answer. If you don't want to make dinner, you don't have to do so. If you decide you don't feel like changing the bed sheets, don't change them. If you want to buy a new sofa in bright red, go for it! You don't have to negotiate and compromise with anyone about what you do or don't do.
Sure, being single can be lonely. There maybe things you'd like to share with a loving partner. There are pros and cons on both sides and neither state is 'better' than the other. Just different. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 10:25:00 AM |
I would much rather be 50 (or any age, for that matter) and single than be in a bad relationship. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship where you are miserable. It's much more lonely than being single. So totally agree.
The one thing I think one gains by living single is personal strength. There are many people who cannot be alone, can't (won't) do things alone, are afraid or ashamed of being on their own, etc. Many people who would rather be with anyone than be alone. I don't get that at all. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 10:37:55 AM | | When I have time, I take a walk in my neighborhood, clean my yard, trim my trees, talk to my neighbors, cook good food from my search, or play balls with those kids in the neighborhood. Because I am a foreigner, those little babies carted lovely say hello to me because they only know how to say hello. Those school kids enjoy communicating with me. They have so many questions for me...LOL!!! On the other hand, because I am ambitious, I have no problem to be positive as my upside. I am happy with my life! | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:45:15 PM | ismne2 that must be pronounced, is mean too. Are you bitter of what?
I got lots of good feed back and ideas. There's no "boo hoo" to it. Was maried for over 30 years and was really looking for thoughts, suggestion. And I got some really good stuff! Nothing I could use form you however. No idea why you felt you had to post and be nasty. Your response had nothing to do with the thread. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:52:55 PM | The upside is having the time to read FriendlyFreeSpirit although she can be a terror.
I'm trying hard to think what's the upside to 50+ and single, that's not also an upside at other ages. | |
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