| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:48:50 AM |
If you have followed my posts on these forums you will find that in the three years I've been here I don't think I've ever been mean or sarcastic to anyone.
A cruel heart breaker....but never mean or sarcastic..... | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:02:33 AM | >>>>>>
you can sit around and make up excuses of why its so great to be alone....then, when you go to bed at night, wake up in the morning, have nobody to share that great news you got today, do things alone, be alone, you remember why it sucks to be alone. Give me a good women anyday....I'll put up with the other stuff.
I lived with someone for over 14 years and then lost her in 2002 to illness. Although I am happy and not lonely or miserable I will second what the above poster says.
>>>>>>
I second or third that.
I lost my soulmate in 2004 due to illness, and it has taken years to get past it. Being in only two relationships in the past twenty five years, has made me nervous, and shy over starting all over again, but then, like the above posters said, it would be kinda nice to have someone share life's treasures with.
Now, I don't know even what I'm really looking for. But like ya all said, it is nice to just have the days to do what you want. Funny, it seems that my time is more occupied now than before. Hmmm.... Well younger son moved back in after a tour in Iraq which did a number on him. So it's back to looking out for a kid again. Kinda like the old days...
Between that, work, and and volunteer work at church and some local groups, it's almost like I'm busier now than ever before. And I've made a lot of new friends that I probably would never have met before. True wealth is measured in the company you keep, nothing else.
NeWay.... Ya all are scaring me lol. I turn forty nine in two weeks, and yet I don't feel much older than when I was sixteen. I guess when I hit fifty, I might have to turn seventeen inside.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is even though I don't know what I'm looking for, I'll know it when it happens. In the meantime, there are so many things to do, and be a part of, that there just does not seem to be enough time to do it. So I just enjoy what comes my way.
Cheers
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:22:10 AM | I'm starting to get the impression that many here think the single life is just fine by them. As well, the main thing that seems to be most appealing is not needing to compromise on anything. Things can be just the way you want them to be, for as long as one chooses. I include my self on this point.
Is this the dream of autonomy we dreamed of? It is for me. I can remember times during married life thinking"I don't want to compromise; I just want some things the way I want them...period". Well here it is and I like it just fine. No children to raise and look after, Mom is healthy and independent, got work and hobbies I love, nice GF, great friends AND I'm healthy and vital. This feels like to me to be the CENTER SLICE of life; no better time IMHO. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:49:02 AM | "you can sit around and make up excuses of why its so great to be alone....then, when you go to bed at night, wake up in the morning, have nobody to share that great news you got today, do things alone, be alone, you remember why it sucks to be alone. "
Some of us want/need someone living with them. Some of us don't want/need someone living with us. Both lifestyles are right for those who choose to live that way.
Living alone for me is just plain peaceful. If I want company I can go out and have company, or have people come back to my home. However, I get to say goodbye at the end of the night, which is the way I like it. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:09:00 AM |
you can sit around and make up excuses of why its so great to be alone....then, when you go to bed at night, wake up in the morning, have nobody to share that great news you got today, do things alone, be alone, you remember why it sucks to be alone
I understand you. Then what can you do? This is why you are here, right? Yes, "you remember why it sucks to be alone." Everybody here knows him-/herself.
Living alone for me is just plain peaceful.
At least it's better than having a relationship with an obese illiterate ugly unkempt one ... | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:11:22 AM | Mid-50s and I've been single for almost 3 years. I'm not adjusting to singledom too well.
Same here! I've been poo-pooing my circumstances, feeling very lonely and sorry for myself. However, recently other women's circumstances have embarassed me for my self pity and made me realise that I have many blessings to be thankful for despite this solo existence. One of my close friends (and business partner) is struggling with an alcoholic husband. He is completely self-destructing and she is falling apart over it. One of my beautiful cousins who has an idyllic marriage and life has just been diagnosed with breast cancer.
I have many married friends with whom I wouldn't trade my present life for theirs.
Better be prepared to not sleep in the same room when we have sleep overs etc. etc.
wow! Different strokes for different folks! This is one thing I miss so much! Never mind same room, same bed, with a length of glorious body skin touching mine, a gentle hand draped over me, a shoulder to nestle my head into and some soft, shared laughter.
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:28:43 AM | Different strokes for sure.
Never again will I miss the comfort of being alone in my feather bed, being tossed around every time the other person tosses and turns. Never again will I have snoring keeping me awake most of if not all the night. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:35:07 PM | I just look to the positive things:
Having the entire bed to myself
No snoring to keep you awake - unless of course it is the dog.
Coming home from a wild shopping trip and not having to hide your goodies in the car.
Peanut butter sandwiches for dinner - no cooking
Watching whatever you want on the TV - no cartoons, football, Sergeant Gunny, etc.
No excess gas to smell
And the best - silence when you want it!!!! | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:14:44 PM | Well tonight again I have on my cut off sweats that are pretty raggedy and have holes in them....and I am wearing them to bed...so not having to try to look like someone seductive.....is a relief.......of course whenever I go to the promiscuous forums and write I will have on my nicest negligee....and be seducing men right and left with my female fatlleee....but really I am sitting here raggedy sweats and baggy T Shirt ready to go to bed...... | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:23:24 PM |
...I have no intention of getting into anything with you I have merely stated an opinion with regards to ismene's comments. If you have followed my posts on these forums you will find that in the three years I've been here I don't think I've ever been mean or sarcastic to anyone.
If I somehow offended you raredawn you have my apologies.
You haven't offended me at all and I hope I haven't offended you. I'm just not real good at taking carp  off anyone. Not that I particularly felt you were trying to give me any. It was your friend who offended me. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:33:39 PM | All of us know th edown sides to being single just as most of us also know the down sides to being married. There is no such thing as perfect on this earth.
But I am getting some really good perspective and ideas. Much appreciated! | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:58:25 PM |
I just look to the positive things:
Having the entire bed to myself
No snoring to keep you awake - unless of course it is the dog.
Coming home from a wild shopping trip and not having to hide your goodies in the car.
Peanut butter sandwiches for dinner - no cooking
Watching whatever you want on the TV - no cartoons, football, Sergeant Gunny, etc.
No excess gas to smell
And the best - silence when you want it!!!!
This post is interesting one!
First is a question: Why did you hide your goodies in your car?
Second is a suggestion: You should cook for yourself. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:58:44 PM |
You haven't offended me at all and I hope I haven't offended you. I'm just not real good at taking carp off anyone. Not that I particularly felt you were trying to give me any.
...Naw, you haven't offended me. But thanks for asking. Glad we were able to put this behind us.... hugs.
Upside to being single....all that guilt-free flirting
...maeflowers | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:29:05 PM | If you WANT to be single, that's the upside!
Freedom. That's an upside. The space to be weird or be whatever you want to be without fear of censorship or chastising.
You can hang out with friends and not be alone, yknow...
As far as horniness, well, there's mechanical means or your own hand for that. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:35:09 PM | actually...
there's nothing about my lifestyle that i would change if i wasn't single...
which is probably why i'll never again have a "live in" partner... | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:38:43 PM | | It's not a dating site for finding a partner, is it? It's more for casual dating. I think what men learn from their mistakes is how they will do it better next time, and what women do is call their mistake their ex and swear never again. So you have men looking for a partner and women happy as can be using each encounter to rejoice about being free. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:08:01 PM |
It's more for casual dating. ... what men learn from their mistakes is how they will do it better next time
Aha moment! So I've been casual dating, and getting better at it. WhooHoo!
what women do is call their mistake their ex and swear never again.
Agree. Never call your ex Again or again, neither one.
So you have men looking for a partner (for CASUAL DATING) and women happy as can be using each encounter to rejoice about being free.
Uh, what's an encounter again? | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:17:11 PM | This is such an interesting thread.
Someone noted they like being single because they can have the whole bed to themselves, no snoring to keep them awake, not having to hide goodies you buy, peanut butter sandwiches for dinner, watching tv when you want, and silence when you want it. Was married decades to a great man and had all of these and more because we were a good match.
Ok the bed was California king size, but it gave us our own space and he didn't snore. And I can sleep just about anywhere and anytime. If I ever find someone who is the same as far as being open and adaptable, I would love to have him in my life. As it is I have friends male and female friends who are adaptable and that makes life pleasant.
~Beth~ | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:52:04 AM | OK, starting over again... I remember thinking these very same thoughts, except I was 46. I asked a very wise person (my sister) how she coped with it and she told me that, with time, I would LOVE being single. Meanwhile, I started doing things I used to like to do, since I had no clue what I liked to do anymore. The more I did them, the happier I got. Soon I started thinking about things I could do that would REALLY improve my life, like going back to school and working on my graduate degree. To make a long story short, I am now 53 and perfectly, wonderfully, happy to be independant. I recently had my appendix out and had a few moments of calm and thought I'd sign up on this web site and, just for kicks, see if I missed anything. I can take or leave any relationship at this point, so there are no feelings of desparation/needs/wants/loneliness/etc.
GOOD LUCK AND JUST SEE THAT IT WWWWWIIIIIILLLLLL GET BETTER (PROMISE!)!!! | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:42:57 PM | | Is there a downside to being over 50 and single No regrets, I have been flying solo since 1987. Love having control of the remote; if I want to sleep in until noon on weekends, so be it; don't have to cook if I don't feel it; not responsible for someone else's social calendar; vacation any place I want; don't have to justify my actions, reasons or words to anyone else. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:45:48 PM |
Flirting has guilt? Never thought of flirting as guilt ridden, just playful recourse for mental stimulation.......Now, acting on that, is much much different.
...When you're in a relationship...I don't think it's a good idea. He just might not understand that I was only being "playful"
...maeflowers | |
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