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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:12:58 AM | Im with you Rusty. Seems most of these posts are by divorced people. What about us widows/widowers who were in lasting totally soul sucking head over heels love with our mates who left us devistated and lost.
sure the house is alot cleaner, but its also dead quiet. No sounds of his laughter, Less dishes, but no seeing his cup of coffee complete with coffee ring on the kitchen counter.
Yep, the toilet seat is never left up, but that never really happened anyway as he was always careful to put it down. Yep, less laundry, but I loved folding his shirts and making sure he looked clean and tidy.
Yep, less money spent on going out to dinner. I dont go out alone.
Sure I can paint the house any color I want, but I did that before anyway. He didnt care.
No snoring, well that one I can agree on, funny how I wake up on my side of the bed still after all this time when I have a whole kingsize bed to hog now.
Nobody steals the blankets, but that one was easy, I just spooned over into him until the heat of our two bodies made him give up the covers :)
Do what I want, when I want, pretty much did that before, only I had my mate to go along.
Eat what I want when I want, yep, but who cares, you dont eat much when you cook for one anyway.
I wasnt married to a lunatic, so I didnt have mood swings, menopause, to deal with. He was a kind gentle soft spoken man who treated me like a Queen. (he did buy a 67 Corvette a few years back - but then I bought a 72 covertible bug, so we were even )
The biggest negative I think about being alone (though Im not 50 quite yet) is living alone, taking your last breath and dying alone, and not having anyone close by to share those daily chats with.
I was lucky enough to hold my husband in my arms as he died. I take comfort in knowing and hoping that he knew that I was there for him. I hope to find that same comfort some day.
D. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:24:19 AM | "the days are ok but the nights suck.
Finally, honesty."
My nights don't suck. I have done work to heal after being widowed yrs ago, then I went on to create a single lifestyle I enjoy. Those complaining about their lifestyle need to stop the poor mes, and work on their lives. Unhappy people are unhappy whether single or married if they just sit around and wait for the world to change. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:30:37 AM | | I guess I would have to answer....There is no downside to being single! Over 50 makes me experienced and smart enough to know how to have a really good time! | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:50:45 AM | It has plenty to do with lifestyle. People need to be able to function happily whether or not they have someone to get through the night with. Please check with definition of co dependent.
Now I understand how it takes people time to learn to move from being married to being single. After a number of years though, keeping the "I need to have someone in my bed or I will be unhappy" attitude is all about attitude and the ability or lack there off to go with the flow. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:54:37 AM |
It has plenty to do with lifestyle. People need to be able to function happily whether or not they have someone to get through the night with. Please check with definition of co dependent.
Now I understand how it takes people time to learn to move from being married to being single. After a number of years though, keeping the "I need to have someone in my bed or I will be unhappy" attitude is all about attitude and the ability or lack there off to go with the flow. This is ridiculous. Wanting to have a sex life is HEALTHY, not co-dependent. No one is saying they are unhappy or unable to function or can't get through the night, how ludicrous to interpret it in such a way. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:13:00 PM | " has to do with the empty bed blues"
Ismene - There is a big difference between empty bed blues and a healthy sex life. If you had posted about wanting a healthy sex life, I won't have posted what I did.
Empty bed, empty nights is totally different. We don't have to have a life in to have a relationship. Needing the protection of having someone around is all in the mind. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:15:51 PM | " has to do with the empty bed blues"
Ismene - There is a big difference between empty bed blues and a healthy sex life. If you had posted about wanting a healthy sex life, I won't have posted what I did.
Empty bed wows is totally different. We don't have to have a live in to have a relationship. Needing the protection of having someone around through the night is all in the mind. It takes time to no long be in the habit of sleeping with someone but after a few years many of us see it as an upside to being single. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:50:46 PM | moraima..who made you the expert? who said my bed is empty? all i meant was this single life aint for me and would like to find a good one for keeps.
no one likes a preacher! | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:56:48 PM | I second moraima ........no one appreciates the unlogical part of lack of self esteem and where it is found either royz.
self esteem is work however....many it seems are content to leave that JOB to someone else too.............. 
50 very soon and omg you have cum a long way babbbbbbbbbbbbby!!!roar. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:08:58 PM | "moraima..who made you the expert? who said my bed is empty? all i meant was this single life aint for me and would like to find a good one for keeps.
no one likes a preacher! "
???????????? Where did you get that my post had anything to do with you? Where did I address your post? It wasn't you name that I mentioned.
One of the upsides to being single is that you can see humour when accused of something that was nothing to do what the accuser is on about.
Self esteem works words for people with the downside problems of being single, but they will have to put the work in. If that annoys people, they should ask themselves why. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:46:40 PM | " has to do with the empty bed blues"
Ismene - There is a big difference between empty bed blues and a healthy sex life. If you had posted about wanting a healthy sex life, I won't have posted what I did.
Empty bed wows is totally different. We don't have to have a live in to have a relationship. Needing the protection of having someone around through the night is all in the mind. It takes time to no long be in the habit of sleeping with someone but after a few years many of us see it as an upside to being single. Empty Bed Blues is the name of an old blues song, Bessie Smith. A song that is satirical and humorous. You didn't get the allusion. It has nothing to do with a live in; in fact, nothing I said has anything to do with a live in, or co-dependency, woe, or any other extreme extrapolation you want to make about my posts, which, rather than being whining or complaining where pointedly humorous and satirical.
Needing the protection of having someone around is all in the mind. If you knew anything at all about me, you would know this is the most ludicrous thing to say to me that could possibly be said. You have made all kinds of assumptions and personal attacks based on your not seeing the light hearted humor in my comments. Talk about bitter, angry, and mean spirited. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:16:17 PM |
Empty Bed Blues is the name of an old blues song,
I think I've sung that tune a number of times.
Now I understand how it takes people time to learn to move from being married to being single. After a number of years though, keeping the "I need to have someone in my bed or I will be unhappy" attitude is all about attitude and the ability or lack there off to go with the flow.
...Wanting to hold someone in your arms has nothing to do with being unhappy. Don't you ever wish... just once, to have that skin contact. To feel his skin against yours.To breathe in the smell of him,...that's a natural human need whether you wish to acknowledge it or not.
...maeflowers | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:53:41 PM |
Dang.
I was honest in my post.
Most likely many others were too. I am sure you were and most others are as well. As I said at one point, my comments are a bit satirical. I do get the impression that there is a bit of the 'the lady doth protest too much' in this thread when it comes to going on and on about how wonderful it is to be single, at any age. I have not, however, been in a 20 + year marriage in which I felt trapped or unhappy, or been through a bitter divorce, or any other situation which makes me suddenly cherish the single life. Maybe there are people here who have no desire to be close and intimate with another human soul and body; there must be as so many say they don't care about finding that again. The post I responded to was someone who simply stated that life is okay, day by day, but there is a longing for that intimacy and closeness with another human that we don't have as single people. In my case, I agree with him. Doesn't mean my life is empty or that I am unhappy; on the contrary, my 50's have been the most exciting and happy, best years of my life. But I am honest enough to say there is that one missing ingredient that would make them even better. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:28:43 PM | "Empty Bed Blues is the name of an old blues song, Bessie Smith. A song that is satirical and humorous. You didn't get the allusion."
So if the people who haven't heard the song read " has to do with the empty bed blues" what were they supposed to think except you posted in a thread about upside of being single, that if people were honest they would admit to having empty bed blues.
"You have made all kinds of assumptions and personal attacks based on your not seeing the light hearted humor in my comments. Talk about bitter, angry, and mean spirited. "
Try that I was posting about people who need someone in their bed. It was you who took it as a person attack and assumed it was all about you.
Amazing how people who don't agree with you or can't read your mind, you call bitter, angry and mean spirited. Why you are so upset right now is on you. Why you find my opinions all about you is also on you.
The topic tread is about the upside of being single. Too bad those who can't deal with those who see the upsides of being single gets them so upset.
"Don't you ever wish... just once, to have that skin contact. To feel his skin against yours.To breathe in the smell of him,...that's a natural human need whether you wish to acknowledge it or not. "
Who? some imaginary man? Honestly, I never think about being held by an imaginary man. Breathe the smell of him.................sounds too teenage crush for me. that is not human natural............more like romantic nature of dreamers.
I am glad I have found purpose in my life that leaves me free from having a need to dream of an imaginary lover.
The biggest upside to being single for me is to find purpose in life and engage in that purpose that improve my life and the lives of others.
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:25:17 PM |
Who? some imaginary man? Honestly, I never think about being held by an imaginary man. Breathe the smell of him.................sounds too teenage crush for me. that is not human natural............more like romantic nature of dreamers
...Ahhh Mori, where would we be if it weren't for the dreamers of the world, without them we wouldn't have learned how to fly, walked on the moon or marched for peace.
"I have a dream"
...maeflowers | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:30:09 PM | People who looked at the upside of life didn't just dream. They go out and get out and make their dreams come true. We wouldn't have flight etc. if everyone had stayed home and wished for things to do different.
I am sure glad my day after becoming single again where I dreamed of what used to be became finding and creating actively what I need to do to fulfil my dreams. Staying home of dreaming about what I wished I had just isn't for me. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:56:19 PM | ...For me, one of the upsides to being single is travel is so much more affordable for one... and I like the fact that I have the freedom to travel when and where I want to.
I went to Vegas last December and I'm flying home to spend the Christmas holidays with my sister this year. But I have been seriously thinking about taking a cruise in the new year., someplace warm of course.
...maeflowers | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:04:17 PM | I just love the upside to being able to travel where I want, when I want. Was taught by most men that have tried to date me over the past few years that they either didn't want me to travel at all, or they wanted me to travel only when and where they wanted to travel to. Would be nice to find someone who felt comfortable enought to travel to where he want to go if he didn't want to go where I was going.
I didn't even know I love travelling so much until I became single. | |
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| What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:47:16 PM | The upside has been leaping off the bandwagon of banality... Bahrooooo! BahrOOOOO! ... onto the rickshaw of honesty.
All women are beautiful, even though they just LOVE to argue.
What if the second post on every thread was a set of canned, auto-entered statements?
Would posters get real by talking about themselves or poking a little fun at each other Hmmm?
Would posters run out of sentences to write?
How about these canned beauties (cuz someone will write a version of these otherwise)?
1. Some people/No one/Everyone/We/You yada yada yada.
2. Some don't, some do yada yada yada.
3. People/They should/must/need to yada yada yada.
4. Did too!
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