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| Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy?
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:24:24 PM | One of the greatest things about dating/having a relationship is having someone to go places with so that you can share the experiences with them - good or bad. It's not nearly as much fun to go to the movies, a festival, sightseeing, a museum, a ballgame, hiking, etc. etc. by oneself. If all you want to do is stay home doing nothing all the time, what would you have to talk about together? After a while you'd be sitting there like a lump with nothing to say to each other.
Hanging out at home now and then is fine, and we all need quiet time to unwind - but geez, get out and see the world and do things while you can. There are so many experiences to explore together, and they don't have to cost anything. | |
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| Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy?
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:49:03 PM | Sorry, it's been like that since I was a teenager. It was probably that way long before I
because I teenager. A man meets a woman he likes, then he asks her out on a date.
What is the alternative? A man meets a woman he likes. He says " I would like
to get to know you better. Let's go sit and stare at each other somewhere and
talk.
After you get to know each other and have gone on a couple of dates, then it's okay
to say "let's stay in tonight and just snuggle on the couch, listen to music, watch
a movie or whatever" It takes a couple of dates to get to that point though, don'tcha
think? | |
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| Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy?
Posted: 11/1/2009 6:06:32 PM | Dude! This is women we are talking about!! U better get off that couch and pull out that wallet and take them out on a "DATE" lol!! I understand what u are saying BUT the women don't want to stare at the WALLS like they got X-ray vision!! They want to go out a few times and MAYBE...MAYBE u 2 can sit and watch a movie or have dinner at home!!
With me...I like to go out and have fun but when I'm at home, I don't need a woman to be there with me (unless she is into sports or simply want to be next to me) I can play video games, watch movies and sports just fine with a few friends or by myself!!
I've always been a socialable person but I only do events with a woman that has a SERIOUS intention in mind NOT "casual dating" U just have a LOT of women that like casual dating just for the hell of it!! The faster u learn that, the better off u will be!! Good Luck on this thread ( I think you're going to need it with some of these females)
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| Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:47:04 PM | There is something to be said for the comfort of companionship...sure there are days where I woukld be just as happy to stay home and cuddle with a movie on, bottle of wine and candle light. Then there are things I'm interested in and like to go and do...could be a live band, watching a sporting event, the museum, or a simple walk in the park. Some of these things cost little or no money. On the flip side, if I know there is something he is interested in I would make plans to take him.
I also think that the stage of dating you are in will determine how many things or events you attend. In the beginning it's getting to know someone through thier interests, as the relationship progresses I think just spending time together doing nothing in particular or doing mundane things increases. This where compatability comes into play. Be open about your expectations and find the person that compliments you. | |
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| Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy?
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:08:23 PM |
But what I find hard to understand is why I have to offer an event to get a woman to spend time with me?
If you have to offer an event to get a woman to spend time with you, it’s a good sign that the woman cares more about the event than she does about you. If I’m really interested in a guy, the date, event, activity, or whatever is merely an inconsequential backdrop; the true enjoyment is found in the experience of just being together. | |
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| Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:32:44 AM | Everybody and every situation is different OP...when my ex and I first met, we didn't do events...I had two little girls from a previous marriage which made going out difficult and even when they used to go visit their father, we didn't have very much money.
So we did things that cost nothing.....during the winter, we went tobogganing and skating (a lot!) with the kids...we'd pack a big thermos of hot chocolate and put some chili or spaghetti sauce in our slow cooker and spend the entire day outside, then we came home, ate and played board games all evening.
And during the summer, the beach became our second home...almost every evening after supper, the four of us would bike down to the beach (no parking fees) and go for a swim or to play a game of badminton or volley ball (apartment living = no yard of our own).
On weekends, we would either spend the entire day at the beach where the kids had tons of friends or we'd go riding somewhere looking for some new adventure: blue berry or strawberry picking, exploring a new area, sight seeing, picnicking, etc. ... we always always brought a home made lunch with us and rarely did we spend one penny during our outings. My kids, both in their thirties now, have fond memories of those days when we were "poor"...they were, honestly, the best of days...
By the way, I'm also a loner and an introvert OP...I don't enjoy "going out" in the traditional sense and I rarely commit to an event or anything in advance which makes dating/meeting new people that much more difficult, but not impossible. An exception would be the Metallica concert I'm going to see with my grand-daughter tomorrow - I had no choice to purchase the tickets months ago but the stress of having to "commit" myself to a certain date and time drives me nuts so I only do it if absolutely necessary (and yes, seeing Metallica before I die fell in that category:)
Anyway, don't let the pressure to be something you're not, get to you OP...in the end, it will only drive you deeper into your cave (it does me) and it might even drive you a little nuts (like some people I know;) ...haha...anyway, I believe that the Internet, by it's very nature, is the perfect place for introverts to meet and there are a lot of us...you just gotta look a little harder (and a little deeper into all those caves) that's all...good luck OP:)
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| Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy?
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:00:42 AM | Because doing stuff together is fun. Like others have said it builds memories. I like to build memories with someone and that usually requires doing things together not just sitting at home. Staying home does have its place to have some down time because everyone needs that once in awhile. But c'mon... Do you just want to stay home because you don't want to spend the money on things? But if she is paying her way, that shouldn't be a problem. I think a person is more likely to open up and show you who they are while you're engaged in exploring what's out there and having adventures together. Gee, I can sit home and do nothing all on my own.  | |
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| Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy?
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:16:57 AM | Happy doing nothing. Ouch.
I can't stand that on a woman. I have to do something all the time. I bike, I go to the markets, I see things. To me doing nothing is grilling some south american beef at home, with a good wine, having salsa playing in the background, dancing around, making a south american salad, tasting some Spanish olives, while talking about novels, the meaning of life, trips to the mountains, and things to do around town.
Sitting still is not an option. | |
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| Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy?
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:00:42 PM | | I'm not saying stay home after you are involved. I'm also not saying stay home with a complete stranger. What I'm saying find out about someone by spending time with them without a distraction. Go for a walk. Talk to each other. Have a coffee or a drink together in a quiet place with no distractions. Don't be blinded by an good event. | |
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| Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy?
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:06:20 PM | | You must deal with boring people. Haven't you ever met someone who was just interesting by themselves? Someone like a singer who still sounds good without musical instruments playing. Haven't you ever met someone who you just liked listening too? Just being with that person? Made your day? Many relationships fall a part because people stop trying to entertain each other. Rather than just enjoy each others company. Otherwise when the music stops the relationship dies if you need something happening to be content. Maybe it's because I'm a complete person. I'm creative. Acting and poetry. I was into sports. Had tryout with the New York Yankees. Started traveling. I'm more open minded then most. I'm told I'm interesting. I don't need distractions when I'm first trying to get to know a woman. I just took someone out for the first time last week. After the event we found a quiet place and talk for an hour and a half. At the end of the night. I said I'll see what I can come up with for our second date. She said "we don't have to do anything ". Maybe many of you people are saying "yes" to the wrong people and "no" to the right ones? | |
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| Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy?
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:45:27 PM | Mr.recall, I was an actor too ,but this time I am not in a character of happy doing nothing, but a vibrant full of energy person,who'd love to do things like fishing,dancing ,barbecue,camping hiking with another person.. Geesh, I don't think I can sit in a quiet place and talking for an hour and a half .... OMG!! that is a torture.  | |
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| Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:08:13 PM | I am one of those many women. I prefer bowling, paintball, miniature golf, etc over taking a walk, and chatting over drinks.
Besides, doing these type of activities tend to make things less awkward.
Bowling and chatting at the same time is GREAT a activity.<img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> | |
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| Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:31:51 PM | | I love a good long roaming conversation, and exploring ideas from all sides, and learning by stories and all that, but activities are good for dating because of how by doing something together other than talking to and at each other you are engaging in ways conversations can't. More about being together is said in silence and in spontaneous action than by discussion. I'd rather ride along on the bike a few miles so I know who she is that way, and do something that brings us out of our mutual scrutiny. | |
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| Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:28:55 PM | | OP, you're probably on the right path for you. Being creative, you should have the wherewithal to come up with dazzling date ideas, but you choose not to go over the top, as I did during my twenties and thirties. I can tell you from experience that the planning, creativity, effort and expense are largely lost on women. I routinely received lukewarm responses, and many simply forgot to thank me. The phenomenon led me to believe that my dates must have had a line of suitors waiting to do back flips just to spend time with them, so I'd soon lose interest. Women don't typically court, entertain or romance a guy - that's a one-way street that we must drive if we wish to get anywhere with females. Being under-appreciated is a way of life for many men, and date burnout is usually the result. Unfortunately for you, there is no magic potion for "instant" familiarity, in which you hope to find comfort. Familiarity can breed contempt, so be pleased if you must invest time to discover all the unfolding petals of your rose. | |
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