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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:12:02 AM | If you don't like women who want you for your money, then make sure women know up front that you won't be participating in that...
Shouldn't this be implied? Maybe, I'm crazy.
If both parties involved are financially self-sufficient they are both in a much better position to care for the other in case of accident, illness or loss of job.
I agree. Food for thought...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financetopics/recession/3527803/Recession-When-the-money-goes-so-does-the-toxic-wife.html | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:24:56 AM | {{{{{All we want is guidance. Can I get some suggestions here?}}}}}
Just love the one your with and respect her and she will do the same back.. Its rather simple. Its a partnership working on the same goals in life. Anything you aquire together in the new relationship you share. Everything you have before you meet you keep seperate. If the person your with doesn't want to do that then they are not for you... | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:31:14 AM | | Let's see...when men question a women's behaviour or circumstances he's "whinning"...when women question a man's behaviour or circumstances she is being"realistic".....yep nothing has changed.I've got the (blank) so i make the rules....well there are other sources these days for the (blank) and sometimes there are no rules at all.The fact is what most men want and go after wears out and fades away,but what some women want can last and last...even after a man is dead and gone his money can continue to provide what it always did when he was alive. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:39:42 AM |
Let's see...when men question a women's behaviour or circumstances he's "whinning"...when women question a man's behaviour or circumstances she is being"realistic".....yep nothing has changed.
Basically.
The sexist double standard.
Nothing new... | |
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Savona
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Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 231 | |
| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:46:04 AM |
Womaninprogress wrote ::
If you don't like women who want you for your money, then make sure women know up front that you won't be participating in that...
Teen replied ::
Shouldn't this be implied? Maybe, I'm crazy.
Implied ??? That is the opposite of what has been written here in most every post. If it was implied then this post would not be here.
I agree with womaninprogress ... Say it UP FRONT. ""I am NOT footing the bill for any woman I date. We go dutch or I am NOT going to date you"" That is straight to the point, and I am sure any woman who is going to pay her own way will be appreciative of your straight forwardness. If she doesn't like it then she was not for you and you dodged a bullet.
Show confidence in all you do. Whether it is to say you are not going to pay her way, in asking a woman, out or in business, in life ... just show confidence.
If you feel you are in the right, then walk the talk. If you are afraid to be so honest right at the beginning and want to dance around money issues then you are showing a great lack of confidence. Or you are AFRAID that it might scare a woman away. What would you be scared of ... a woman who is not interested in you because you want her to at least pay 50/50.
That is a huge issue on here. Honesty from the men. I can't understand why men get into such a pickle with women and money. OH I know ... most men don't have the goonies to be straight forward. They might miss out on the HOT chick, or ruin their chances of getting laid or might be single longer than they expected. Sheesh ....
So my advice to the men is to SPEAK UP. Hell women speak up ... they go out with men and slap the money right on the table for their food or drink or coffee. Or they sit there and say ohhhhh I only date men who treat me.
The women say it in the forums. Those who expected to be treated at least have the confidence to say so and don't care who they will scare away. The ones who will pay their way also say it clearly ... We don't expect or EVEN WANT you to pay our drink, meals or for anything. We can pay our own. So I imagine that many of those women scare some men away also. Women don't seem to have a problem scaring away men who wouldn't suit us, so why should it be different for the men.
Instead thread after thread men complain about women and money like it is the MOST important thing going on in the dating world. Well NEWS FLASH it is only the most important thing on POF.
Real world dating is NOTHING like real world. Real world men have it all over most the posters hands down.
Asking us to tell you how to behave ..... If I had to tell a man how to behave he would be the LEAST confident man I would have ever run across. And truthfully I don't want to tell anyone how or what to do. It is not in my nature. They either suite me or they don't, I don't want to change anyone ... I like a man I like for their real selves.
I like balls, not puzzies .... but of course that is just me. 
Savona | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:50:09 AM | Shouldn't this be implied? Maybe, I'm crazy.
You'd be surprised what should be a given but has to be explained. Every thread a guy posts about being all a woman says she wants but yet she won't respond to him is proof that people literally don't assume anything that's not printed. Men should know women won't date someone they're not attracted to, and women don't post it because it's obviously what creates dating in the first place - yet 100 posts a day go up from guys who can't figure this out.
If it was implied, why's this thread here? Clearly some are confused about it.
Why take chances? Spell it out.
I was being facetious :)
That, and sarcasm don't translate well here. Spell that out too. lol
Show confidence in all you do. Whether it is to say you are not going to pay her way, in asking a woman, out or in business, in life ... just show confidence.
If you feel you are in the right, then walk the talk. If you are afraid to be so honest right at the beginning and want to dance around money issues then you are showing a great lack of confidence. Or you are AFRAID that it might scare a woman away. What would you be scared of ... a woman who is not interested in you because you want her to at least pay 50/50.
That is a huge issue on here. Honesty from the men. I can't understand why men get into such a pickle with women and money. OH I know ... most men don't have the goonies to be straight forward. They might miss out on the HOT chick, or ruin their chances of getting laid or might be single longer than they expected. Sheesh ....
So my advice to the men is to SPEAK UP. Hell women speak up ... they go out with men and slap the money right on the table for their food or drink or coffee. Or they sit there and say ohhhhh I only date men who treat me.
The women say it in the forums. Those who expected to be treated at least have the confidence to say so and don't care who they will scare away. The ones who will pay their way also say it clearly ... We don't expect or EVEN WANT you to pay our drink, meals or for anything. We can pay our own. So I imagine that many of those women scare some men away also. Women don't seem to have a problem scaring away men who wouldn't suit us, so why should it be different for the men.
IMO, this is what it's all about - men don't want to run disclaimers for fear they might cut their dating pool down.
If something is really important enough to a guy he'll stick to it no matter how many babes he doesn't attract because of it - or how attractive they are. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:56:16 AM |
Implied ??? That is the opposite of what has been written here in most every post. If it was implied then this post would not be here.
If it was implied, why's this thread here? Clearly some are confused about it.
I was being facetious :) | |
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Savona
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Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 234 | |
| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:58:25 AM |
well there are other sources these days for the (blank) and sometimes there are no rules at all.
Oh yeaaaa you are so right there. I say go for it. Go to the source for the (blank) no rules.
I think that is what most men who are so worried about being taken for their dough should do. Get it any way you can with who ever will give up the (blank) for you. Be prepared to pay though. Either with a few hundred bucks a pop or enjoy a woman who does everyone including you ... (**Shivering at the thought of sloppy seconds** where is that barf icon) those are good choices and I wish you all the best with that one. Hell you won't even have to fret over getting the one with the (blank) a Christmas gift now would you ...
ahahaha Women can get the (blank) any time we want to too ... without all the bullshiit that is dished out here. Boy toy, Sweet honey who doesn't ask for a thing ... is convenient and at the press of 9 precious digits ... ring ring ring ... hey sweetie, what are YOU doing ....
I think I will hold out for someone better ... much better than a pecker head without a pot to pizz in or a window to throw it out of. A big whiney baby who is scared of being up front with women .... and blames women on all their life woes. yuchhhhhhh wossie.
Savona
Jingle balls Jingle balls ... dashing through the snow la la la la la
EDIT:::
VVVV Yea yea what ever ???? Hahahaha that is so funny I spit out my coffe. Thank you for those words of wisdom. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:09:10 AM | | if you met a woman who you were very attracted to, who was a good person but struggling ..would you help...if you wanted to dated her ...to see her...but her mind was on her bills....what would you do...perhaps...you should just pass her by...because maybe what you are offering her ...she can't use right now..perhaps for her it is crunch time...so be on your way and find that strong, self sufficient female partner who can pull her own weight...there really is no need for name calling, bitterness and anger... | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:16:04 AM | Jingle balls Jingle balls ... dashing through the snow la la la la la
EDIT:::
VVVV Yea yea what ever ???? Hahahaha that is so funny I spit out my coffee. Thank you for those words of wisdom.
Are you sure it wasn't Jimmy Bean? 
there really is no need for name calling, bitterness and anger...
Where's the name calling? It certainly ain't coming from me. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:26:34 AM | | the name calling i am referring to is...gold digger...i am sure you have heard the word a few times.....as i said...if a woman wants and needs your help and you don't want to give it...simply be on your way.... | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:57:27 AM |
Show confidence in all you do. Whether it is to say you are not going to pay her way, in asking a woman, out or in business, in life ... just show confidence.
Thanks, but I don't lack any "confidence".
If you feel you are in the right, then walk the talk. If you are afraid to be so honest right at the beginning and want to dance around money issues then you are showing a great lack of confidence. Or you are AFRAID that it might scare a woman away. What would you be scared of ... a woman who is not interested in you because you want her to at least pay 50/50.
Scared of scaring a woman away?
I've told more women (princesses) to go pound sand into glass, than I can count.
Apparently you have a distorted perception of reality.
Men aren't pvssies when it comes to speaking up. Threads get deleted all the time when men speak up and women come in with their petulant rants and vitriol when men do anything counter to what their little hearts don't like.
That is a huge issue on here. Honesty from the men. I can't understand why men get into such a pickle with women and money. OH I know ... most men don't have the goonies to be straight forward.
No. Men have balls.
And the brains to simply walk away.
It's just all too predictable that women will go ultrasonic with their whining, that we've learned how to avoid them.
That's why we drop off the face of the earth.
We'd rather chew our own arm off than have our ears ringing all day from the biii biii biii biii biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
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Savona
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Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 241 | |
| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:08:43 AM |
Yes, by all means give gold diggers a very wide berth. Maybe they'll eventually go extinct.
By all means give all the gold digger MEN a VERY wide berth, with some great luck maybe they will all be extinct too.
Here is what I find VERY interesting. The ""women"" are the gold diggers yet it mostly all men who post that they want women with money.
Gold diggers under the cloak that women want their money, when in truth MOST but not all men on here don't have squat to get taken for. That is why the men are so intense on women only wanting them for their money.
Truth be known they are scared that the women will find out they don't have any ... money that is. No house, no cash, no retirement ... living in mommies basement or in the living room of a friend ... the sofa sleepers.
It's all bull crap ... we all know most, NOT ALL, men on free POF are broke, and whiners. They NEED a woman with money to get them off their friends sofa, out of the income supplemented appt ... get them off the welfare line.
And you know who you are. AND you know if the women really knew the truth you would get ZERO dates .... and have ZERO chance to get ahead unless it is on someone elses hard work.
Most everyone split, and most every lost allot ... guess it just depends on how you got your life back together ... seems the women did much better than the men. Yea Yea Yea ... you men can say it's 'cause we got the house. That is bull crap ... most everyone that splits the house is split too ... and every pulls up their big panties, raises their kids and starts all over again. That is life. Accept it.
We women no more want a sponge than you men do. And SERIOUSLY if you knew the amount of men who want to see the child support cheque to help pay their bills. Hahaha like it is theirs, or even the woman's. If you knew how many men want to know if I get spousal support ... Talk about a RED FLAG.
So guys it works both ways .... do like us ... just walk away from a sponge, or gold digger man ... Just walk on by !!!!!
Savona | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:51:36 AM | It's all bull crap ... we all know most, NOT ALL, men on free POF are broke, and whiners. They NEED a woman with money to get them off their friends sofa, out of the income supplemented appt ... get them off the welfare line.
Here's where I think you get hackles raised...when you say MOST men on POF are like this. If you're going to use that logic, you then have to apply it also to MOST women here. You're going to find men and women like this both on and offline. If you don't think that some people will spend their bottle collecting money in order to go to a paid site to "appear" as though they have money, you'd be wrong. People who come to POF are the same people you rub shoulders with anywhere you go. Even people with good paying jobs don't have a pot to pi$$ in because they are poor money managers. I come from a largely affluent small city/suburb, people living in huge houses with all kinds of toys and they own virtually nothing because they are reckless spenders and are in debt up the whazoo and little ol' me is far better off financially than they are. I agree that there are gold diggers of both sexes, I just disagree with the gender bashing and large sweeping generalizations. Those who are guilty of the behaviour deserve the bashing - those who aren't guilty of it, don't generalize. You can't possibly know the financial situation of the majority of people at POF. To claim you do is an impossibility based on the law of large numbers. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:53:13 AM | Part of the problem is that this "sense of entitlement" could also just as well not manifest itself until after marriage or some could simply grow into it(people change). It can also be somewhat difficult or costly for some men to get out of these situations due to poor separation and alimony laws (Men accounted for 97% of alimony-payers in 2007, http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703399204574505700448957522.html)
also, startle, there is a difference between a woman(or man) who might be struggling financially, trying their best to make ends meet but might still need help, and a goldigger, someone who has a complete sense of entitlement to her partners income and lifestyle, is not willing to put efforts to deserve this lifestyle and income and has very little concern/care for the individual she is latching on to. Personally, I would have no problems dating the former, I would simply work around the issue by dating to her means. The latter, however, I would definitely stay away from. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:00:25 AM | "Part of the problem is that this "sense of entitlement" could also just as well not manifest itself until after marriage or some could simply grow into it(people change). "
TOTAL CRAP.
People DONT change their VALUE SYSTEM.
Marriage has been called a MICROSCOPE. It MAGNIFIES all the flaws and frailities MORE than it accentuates the good qualities.
YOU PEOPLE who try to convince us that your now EX did a TOTAL about face after you got married are just lying. First to yourselves. Either that or you are just to dumb to bother to BE in the dating world.
Character, Integrity, Honor, Dignity, and VALUE SYSTEMS dont change.
I've interviewed or talked with over 10,000 people.. some married some divorced, some never married.
EVERY ONE told me that the trait or quality that drove them to end a prior relationship WAS there early on.. but they CHOSE to overlook it.
The WOMEN, overwhelmingly added.. "but I thought that he would change" while the men said..I thought I could deal with it as long as I was getting the things I liked.
The men eventually ended the relationship when the REST of the goodies started to diminish.. and ALL that was left was the part they had INITIALLY chosen to de-focus on.
Stop deluding yourself.
Oh, this goes for the later-on-in-life substance abuser too.
Alcoholism is a personality disorder that uses alcohol as their drug of choice
The TRAITS behind later-in-life boozing were there before they took to drink.
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:31:32 AM |
Gold diggers under the cloak that women want their money, when in truth MOST but not all men on here don't have squat to get taken for. That is why the men are so intense on women only wanting them for their money.
Truth be known they are scared that the women will find out they don't have any ... money that is. No house, no cash, no retirement ... living in mommies basement or in the living room of a friend ... the sofa sleepers.
That is soooooo true Savonna! Never seen a man with money complain or label any woman gold digger! | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:49:56 AM |
Most women don't take too kindly to me asking if they're a gold-digger straight up in the first conversation.
Then why would you ask that? My point was to tell them you won't be picking up the whole tab, or assume you'll be splitting the bill and let them know (or post it in your profile so it's covered before you say hello).
Naturally, most women would be put off being asked if they're a gold digger - but no one said you had to approach it that way, did they? | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:52:52 AM |
Can you imagine some wife saying this? "If I was with a man who was financially dependent on me, it would make my skin crawl. If he became ill, I'd have him in a nursing home so fast that you'd see my the soles of my running shoes smoke!! Hopefully his kids can pay for his keep. I'm not!!!"
Yet, I've heard almost these exact same words from women. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:00:13 PM |
Can you imagine some wife saying this? "If I was with a man who was financially dependent on me, it would make my skin crawl. If he became ill, I'd have him in a nursing home so fast that you'd see my the soles of my running shoes smoke!! Hopefully his kids can pay for his keep. I'm not!!!" Yet, I've heard almost these exact same words from women.
What I'm more curious about, is WHY anyone would want to be financially dependent on another for in the first place?
And, what WOULD happen if their financial benefactor DID become ill and unable to support them any longer, or at least for a while? Would they leave because their meal ticket has come to an end? Trade that person in? Or, heaven forfend, actually start becoming self-sufficient for a change?  | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:00:41 PM |
Then why would you ask that? My point was to tell them you won't be picking up the whole tab, or assume you'll be splitting the bill and let them know (or post it in your profile so it's covered before you say hello).
But that's the point! These men would NEVER say this to a woman in the real world, most would foot the bill but come here to complain...It takes balls for a man to say how he feels without the fear of losing his chance of a date...Then because they feel so powerless for not stating what they want they reasure themselves by calling her a 'golddigger'.....so from now on anytime a man posts such words he is in fact calling himself a coward... | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:03:44 PM | ^^^AA, I know that's the point. We agree here. Men need to make it clear they won't do this if it bothers them, simple. My feeling is that if they are THAT against ever dating a woman who wants their money, they need to go in letting everyone know it ain't gonna happen.
Men who won't do this because they are afraid they'll get less dates aren't that freaking serious about it - which brings us back to the whining thing. It's being labeled as whining because it can be avoided, but usually isn't. Men who are serious won't care who doesn't like it - they'll see it as saving time and energy on women who don't match their interests, and they'll make it clear in profiles, or in early conversations. There's no gray area here.
Course they'll probably then come here and complain they don't get enough attention from the women they do date, but that's another thread. | |
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