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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/7/2009 12:04:59 PM |
Love and quality of life are to some extend linked. Genuine love makes life better.
Agree! Love can generate money to share a better life. When two are in love, they won't waste time on the dating site and won't waste money to date around. Because they are in love and share a happy life together, they won't worry about "who pays" and will make efforts to reach their life goals. However, I still insist if one over 50 still worries about money and the quality of his life, he's creepy. He wasted his younger time but did nothing for himself to make him confident! | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/7/2009 12:19:48 PM | Regarding Arabianangel's post about being successful and confident. True to some extent, but success is a general term and can have or have little to do with finances.
There are many successful men who have terrible relationships...look at most rock stars, politicians, actors and actresses. I know a lot of upper middle class people who are divorced...sometimes TWICE! I also know some people who aren't as successful who are in wonderful and loving relationships.
Success can mean finishing a marathon, finally writing that book you've always wanted to, getting a degree, making a good relationship great, having a fullfilling career, finally getting an action script 3 code or html code to work.
Some successful men have little confidence, because they grew up in rich families and are only successful because of "Daddy's" money and connections. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/8/2009 11:15:13 AM |
I'd be interested to hear the comments and criticisms from the women, on a post made by a woman, who feels the same about her "money" as many men do, which is, "what's mine is mine, what's yours is yours", and not wanting someone who is going to freeload and benefit from the other's spoils.~Verity~
Funny; I’d written my reply before reading your statement. I’m a bit late but here goes.
It matters to me what a man does for a living and how much he makes.
I have dated men who are blue collar or not at my financial level. Never works. The friends are different, the circles are different.
Since starting to date again, after a very long hiatus from it, I date the entire spectrum; from cops, skilled laborers, professionals and CEOs. They all had commonalities, traits that I consider important; all were intelligent, successful and well-mannered. No problem with their friends.
So tired of men and the goldiggers comments. That is so 1950.
I think it is more prevalent now, at least in these forums. I’ve dated men where any thought of my chipping in for dates would be beyond ludicrous; if someone thinks that is a gold digger not a problem as I am not on here to win accolades. I think I know who I am and that I can never be bought.
I have my own business, own my home, make good money and have a good lifestyle. I am not interested in a man who does not share that lifestyle.
That, of course, is a prejudice. Most of the men, and women, I know do not feel like this.
I don't want to have to worry about money, constantly negotiate who pays what because the incomes are so unequal.
Then a man, with your same mindset, that has a great deal more than you should not date you either. How would you feel knowing you are not good enough for someone?
A successful man is always more attractive than one who isn't.
Agree, but see above; success has nothing to do with his livelihood.
I felt it was an important and vital responsibility to be in the position of a stay-at-home wife and mother.
My husband and I wanted this; additionally I had a housekeeper, gardener and chauffeur if I wanted to use him. I rarely cooked as we ate dinner out 3 to 4 times a week.
Raising children is a full time job if done right. Creating a home that is a sanctuary to a man can be very rewarding for us both. Also, I devoted some time to culture and charity.
There are men that do not want women working outside the home and yes, it does give him a great deal of control. That is not always a bad thing as I did as I pleased.
Now, there are many moms who'd give their left arm to be able to raise their own children but can't because of economic reasons.
Absolutely. Day care centers, cheapest form of child care, are for the most part a horror. A woman would need a lucrative position, or her husband would, in order to provide proper child care. Then if she wants to work go for it. But, there are those that of necessity must work and avail themselves of some form of inexpensive day care. Since that is more the norm than not some of the more lucrative corporations, like the Federal government now provide on site daycare. Good for
them.
My thoughts on this are, OP that different lifestyles exist. Some persons can afford to live lavishly on one income and may not wish to work outside the home. Others, though not needing two incomes, may both desire to work. Still others, and I believe the majority of persons in this thread are in this category, need to have both parties employed.
I would not have any qualms about hooking up with either one who has more or less than me. Though candidly more is much better as money allows you freedom to do what you want, when you want to.
most men in real life are laughing their asses off at the effeminate men who can't make a nickel~savanno~.
Being effeminate has nothing to do with his ability to earn a living. I’ve known effeminate men who command big salaries. This is merely a prejudice some have against, usually, metro-sexual men.
Enjoy the dump you live in, enjoy bragging about how money is not important to you, enjoy posting all day ... and enjoy the first of the month when you get your welfare cheque.
Most men on here aren't puzzie whipped, they are puzzie wishing ... wishing someone, anyone would date them and get them up to the next stage in life. Out of the basement appt~savonna~.
Just because these are the type of men you are meeting here does not indicate that all men on here are as you say. They are the ones you have chosen. I’ve not conversed with or dated anyone from this site that is as you say. The common denominator of these men you speak of is you.
The men on here only complain because most of the women aren't interested in MOST not all but lets just say the vast majority of you men~savanno~.
Is that not also the reason you complain so very, very much? I believe your statement is also applicable to you.
But this is derailing from the topic of the OP about the sense of entitlement, the double standards, and increased focus on "materialism" vs character and personality, observed in female mate selection, in contrast to the males.~verityone~
There are many women on here that espouse this view, “He must have at least as much as I…..”. I know women that are the main breadwinners and they do not feel like this.
but lowering yourself doesnt make you look very well. You started the thread and wanted everyone to discuss your question. If you can't suffer what you don't like or can't learn to better one from others, you should keep quiet and don't try to get attention from everyone.~ahappygal~
You should take your own advice. Perhaps you could learn from others as well. You were rude to comment on the OP’s looks. Would you like that done to you? You’re no prize yourself. As for the “idot” comment why don’t you just crack open the English tutorial instead of flinging insults.
but I've yet to see anyone request that "you keep quiet"?
I just did. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/8/2009 1:59:50 PM |
If I dated someone for 2 years who was chronically late and I never SPOKE UP...and we got married (God forbid) and they were STILL late....WHO'S fault would that be? The "TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS"....that for 2 years I was being a LIAR. MyOh My....aren't we a pious bunch, deliberately conditioning others to disappoint us so that we'll have something to WHINE about once the ink is dry on the marriage certificate!!!!
Wow...and this is exactly what i've been saying for years!!! | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:24:48 PM |
success has nothing to do with his livelihood.
Success includes many sides. Professional success is the foundation of financial success! Personal success includes having a good career, building a good family, raising good kids, maintaining a good health, and managing personal finance in a favor balance. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/9/2009 5:55:43 AM |
success has nothing to do with his livelihood.
I don't know what your success is if success has nothing to do with his livelihood!
Did you mean dating around with so many sex partners defines his success? | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/9/2009 12:17:26 PM | success has nothing to do with his OR her livelihood.
While I've tried to make this statement gender neutral, I think it's well documented here and elsewhere that many many more women than men view a successful livelihood as a top 5 "want". To be honest, that's fine because as we've learned from social and political science, the vast majority of people are sheep and easily led or impressed. It's why religion does so well and the economy relies so heavily on that "don't ask, don't tell, doesn't affect me anyway" middle class way of thinking.
See, I've had the benefit of success in business. I've reaped the rewards of being treated like a rock star by women clamouring to get my attention the moment the learned about my success. I've had steak dinners whenver I wanted, drank the finest wines and smoked fine cigars. Nowadays, now that I'm embarking on a new education and career, those same women want absoloutely nothing to do with me...ok fair enough. I take solace in the fact that aside from being clearly superficial to a fault, those women are likely to end up with men that will eventually use that financial success to control or manipulate their woman. They're also far more likely to cheat simply based on oppourtunity (again...think rockstar vs. groupie here for a second) and also likely as shallow and superficial as their women. So, what does that so called ideal, successful man do when you turn 40???? He pays for you to get so much plastic surgery that not only do you not look human, you're repulsive to him AND to the men you'll be trying to land after he runs off with the 23 year old nanny.
Oh and ladies, success in business can be very fleeting. You gonna stick around when his company goes ta ta's up and he files for chapter 11??? Not likely. Is that love then???? I think we all know the answer. But at least you got what you WANTED for the short time you did.
For me, success is about enlightenment, about knowledge and wisdom. It's about having a social conscience and making a difference on this planet and to my son. It's about realizing that there is so much more to life than putting on appearances and all that fake nonsense. It also means that now that I've made that realization, I'm going to wait to find a woman who shares similar values and beliefs, the kind of woman who stands by her man like her man stands by her. That my friends is love, that is what solid marriages are based on. That's who you grow old with...not some crazy looking broad in her 50's with her face pulled so tight that Micheal Jackson says "damn girl, you look freaky".
Good luck with that you gold diggers because we all know the gold rush ends eventually, but love lasts. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/9/2009 12:57:44 PM |
success in business can be very fleeting. You gonna stick around when his company goes ta ta's up and he files for chapter 11???
If one filed for Chapter 11, he failed. If anything can be fleeting, it's nothing, which really has nothing to do with success. You think professional success is something else; can you define it? BTW, Gold diggers won't dig trash...If one has no money, why does he need to worry about gold diggers? It's odd!  | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/9/2009 4:22:52 PM | I don't quite understand your response but the fact is that if most of the major banks in the US and around the world can file for bankruptcy, then nothing is safe. As for defining success, put it this way, we all know Michael Jordan for his success on the basketball court, but even his airness misses a free throw now and then.
Face it ladies, if all you're after is a good lifestyle provided by a so called "successful" man, the statistics suggest that you will eventually be dissapointed...which means your view of him will change and you'll be gone in a heartbeat. Just like he's gonna bail once your beauty success fades...it's karma and it's a ****. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/9/2009 4:49:47 PM |
Regarding who should pays is so simple that it escapes the minds of people. Here is the argument:
1) Single people pay for themselves. (When you go to the mall and buy something, you pull out your wallet.... you don't look to a stranger and say "Pay for me, will you?")
2) Dating people consider themselves single - for they certainty don't think dating=relationship. So, a man dating should pay for himself. And a woman dating should pay for herself.
3) In a relationship a man should pay for himself, and woman for herself, unless both agree to an expense ahead of time - in which case it becomes a "shared expense".
If a man wants a pool table, it should come out of his wallet, unless she too wants a pool table and agrees to pitch in half.
If a woman wants a boob job, it should comes out of her wallet, unless... in which case one tittie is his.
If a man and a woman want a house or children, etc., to which they both agreed, both share the expense - whether it is 50/50 or some other ratio should be discussed and agreed upon. AMEN!!!!!!!! Preach it Brother!
My ex husband and I worked this way for 25 years and NEVER argued about money! We simply figured up the total monthly expenses, house payment, car payments, insurance, utilities, maintenence) and split the cost 50/50. We EACH put $400 a week into the "household account" and what each of us had left was OURS (individually) to spend as we wished. (Ohhh, I did buy all the groceries because I earned quite a bit more than he did...and, I didn't like having to write checks anyway)
We put the FAMILY first, but what each of us had beyond our obligation to the "family unit", the other did NOT question. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/9/2009 11:08:27 PM | Ok.. I'm seeing a new take on things..
Men should go to court and ask for their fair share
boob men should ask for her boobs
Ass men should ask for her ass.. unless it's grown so HUGE that it became the reason for the divorce.. you know.. her love of food and bonbons while watching Oprah over good health and her marital promise to "Keep herself ONLY unto him" which became keeping herself ponied up to the trough.. THEN he should only demand HALF her ass in court.
I mean.. we KNOW that she is gonna want half his wallet.
The above message was approved by the Committee to Re-Elect 1kindman4u just because. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/10/2009 12:03:40 AM | | If a base of a relation is the money,Something is very wrong,the people is forgeten the real base of any good relation(LOVE) if is something in the midle of this,God help this society.Some people used to say, I can't life just with love,You know why the say it,Because they don't know what love is.Please, Don't get in the relation if your concerne is about the financial status of you partener>Where are we going as society? | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/10/2009 7:04:30 AM |
What sane person would want to be with another simply because the s/he can provide for the other?
Ummm--pretty much everyone before we reached the Age of Aquarius, with all this "love" nonsense. Marriage was (and still is, to a large extent) a financial agreement.
Isn't it cool, though, how that part is changing, and now a man ISN'T just his earning potential (to most women), and can actually pick and choose his own wife--or even choose NEVER to marry? Thank feminism. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:07:15 AM | | I believe in love. Love is built on attractions that should present one's quality as a fine human being. When I was in high school, one's good grades were important to interest me. I believe that god encourages and hopes people to be good people, but people have to work hard to build the quality of their own lives and to help the society, not being selfish, not looking for "who pays" for the quality of their own lives, and not complaining about others. If men enjoy ruling the world, they should be responsible for what they rule. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:18:02 AM | Marriage was (and still is, to a large extent) a financial agreement.
Hence the term, "Marrying money".
I really don't know where you were brought up, but in my entire life, the social message was always that you married the one you love. For both male and female. Marrying for material reasons was never preached. In fact, it was discouraged, as relationships that are not based on a deep emotional connection are unstable.
Ummm--pretty much everyone before we reached the Age of Aquarius, with all this "love" nonsense.
Then why are many women so reluctant to have sex without all the "love" nonsense?
Isn't it cool, though, how that part is changing, and now a man ISN'T just his earning potential (to most women), and can actually pick and choose his own wife--or even choose NEVER to marry? Thank feminism.
It is cool. And I do thank my lucky stars everyday, that I'm not required to work to support anyone but myself, and my lifestyle choices.
But you neglect to mention that the women of today have every opportunity to have the same option men do. If they want a good life, they can earn it, instead of marry it.
It's levelled the playing field for women who's looks are not their strongest attribute. Whereas in the "olden days" a man with weath could pick and choose the prettiest bride, because all other things were equal. Brains on a woman didn't matter. Women were dependent on men for support.
Regarding who should pays is so simple that it escapes the minds of people. Here is the argument:
1) Single people pay for themselves. (When you go to the mall and buy something, you pull out your wallet.... you don't look to a stranger and say "Pay for me, will you?")
2) Dating people consider themselves single - for they certainty don't think dating=relationship. So, a man dating should pay for himself. And a woman dating should pay for herself.
3) In a relationship a man should pay for himself, and woman for herself, unless both agree to an expense ahead of time - in which case it becomes a "shared expense".
x file, they can't argue the logic and win. Equality is not in their vocabulary. That's why the'll resort to all the ad hominems.
Women have trained you well!
I never had to "buy the cow".
All the women I've been with have known that "Milk does the body good", and liked "milk" as much as I did.
They never attempted to "lord over" men with their "milk". | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:12:16 AM |
how that part is changing, and now a man ISN'T just his earning potential (to most women), and can actually pick and choose his own wife--or even choose NEVER to marry?
No choice is involved. Since marriage is the institution which most oppresses women (according to feminists), if a guy marries he's by definition an abuser, by making her work a "second" shift, by ignoring her, by not ignoring her, etc, etc.
And if he choses not to get married, he's hurting some woman (or women indirectly) by skirting his responsibilities, by being a commitment-phobe who refuses to grow up, by being intimidated by smart, successful, independent yada yada yada women, etc, etc.
So, like I said, no choice is involved. Either way he's just no good -- except as someone for feminists to blame for everything. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:22:39 AM | ^^^^^ Interpreting:
<div class="quote">Either way he's just no good -- except as someone for feminists to blame for everything. Means that one has but buy the cow....AND the milk.
What she said:
<div class="quote">now a man ISN'T just his earning potential (to most women), and can actually pick and choose his own wife--or even choose NEVER to marry? Thank feminism. Leading you to believe that ALL feminists were created "equal"....LOL! they weren't!
Examples of "Gender Feminism" (new age) vs." Equity Feminism" (PRE 1980s)" | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:22:45 AM |
All the women I've been with have known that "Milk does the body good", and liked "milk" as much as I did.
We have plenty of milk, we're sick of it - what we like and can't get at home is sausage. Let's get this straight here, lol. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:28:35 AM |
We have plenty of milk, we're sick of it - what we like and can't get at home is sausage. Let's get this straight here, lol.
You and I are talking about the same thing...
But many are talking about looking for a man to bring home the bacon in order for her to want to give up some milk...
Ya, I hate speaking in euphemisms too.... | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:58:12 AM | why does this all seem so old and tired? oh yeah, because it is
men with money are more attractive then men without
I saw an informal study where they showed women (aged 25-35) photographs of men, and asked the women to rate the man's attractiveness (out of 10). On the photo, in the righthand corner, was the guy's salary. The same guy's rating went up when the salary was changed (so an average-looking guy who was making $30,000 and was rated a 3 or 4 suddenly became a 7 or 8 when his salary was $300,000). Likewise, a model-looking guy saw his rating drop when his salary dropped.
The argument was that it's biology...women who are looking to have children want a mate who can provide for her and the children.
So my advice to men who are concerned about "golddiggers" - date older women who aren't looking for a mate to produce children and who has an established career and financial standing....those women aren't looking for the same kind of financial security. Well, except for the golddigers.
oh, wait. I remember now why that won't work...
because men are looking for young women, ripe, fresh, prime for childbearing because, well, after all, who can blame the men... younger women are more attractive, it's biology, right? Can't blame guys for their biological programming.
so all the guys with modest (or low) income can come on here and complain about women passing them over for someone with more coin (those superficial b1tches, they can't see your true value!), and the older women can complain that all the men their age want to date younger (those goddamn b2stards, they can't see your true value!)
**yawn**
life ain't fair | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/10/2009 10:13:06 AM |
I saw an informal study...
That didn't sound very informal. But anyway, there have been similar studies where instead of pairing a guy with a salary they presented guys for rating with and without various markers of social status -- for example, a guy wearing a garbage collector's uniform versus a business suit. Same results.
So my advice to men...
You're mistakenly presuming women's biological programming changes as a result of conscious desires or lack of same. I'm skeptical on this working the way you propose. If anything, the women you recommend to men are even pickier and have narrower filters as a result of their experience (they say as much all the time here in forums), though admittedly not all their conditions and concerns revolve around money. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/10/2009 10:39:26 AM | I tend to only date successful men but it isn't based on their monetary value but their organized life. That is what is most important to me that a man has his issues and priorities ironed out into a stable lifestyle.
Society as a whole is greedy and it's not gender specific. In many ways we are just puppets with capitalism holding the strings. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:02:33 AM |  Another gold digger thread.
So if I have quite a bit of money, (which I do all things being relative) and I am successful, (which I am) if a man wants to date me because he like my success is he a gold digger ???
I guess that would mean that I have zero other qualities, and I should start posting on my profile all my great toys, my large home, my great job. Put up pictures of my cars, my summer home and so one.
There are more gold digger men than women, at least the women who want the man to treat are honest ... the men will NEVER say they prefer to date a woman with more money, more successful job than they have.
I think its kinda the dirty little secret. Again men who are scared to admit that they want the money ...
"""Yeaaa show me the money"""" 
"""Yeaaa show me the money""""
"""Yeaaa show me the money""""
"""Yeaaa show me the money""""
"""Yeaaa show me the money""""
"""Yeaaa show me the money""""
By the way, for all the disrespectful comments to people who have been successful that we have no heart or that think we have nothing in our lives but money, HELLO get real. Just because a person is successful doesn't make their money dirty. Just makes you jealous and so YOU feel that people with money are dirty. And really we do love our life. We can treat our families well, pay for better education, travel when the snow flies. Go to concerts, treat our kids to holidays ... and give allot of it away to those who need. Seriously if I am driving a beamer ... are you going to hate me. Nawwwwwwwwwww you men will probably think some jack azz man bout it for me. Hahaha dream on.
OMO | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:13:23 AM | Why do men themselves value their toys so much? I think other men think more highly of successful men as well, but on these Forums it seems this is seen as ONLY a feminine trait. I know lots of men who have guy crushes on successful guys--any one of you out there care to quanitfy why?
So, nice try, but you really can't blame men for conforming to what women want.
But you feel perfectly free in blaming women for what they want? Interestink. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:13:34 AM | ^^^^ I know the answer, but I'm not giving it away for free! You'll have to buy the book to find out.
at least the women who want the man to treat are honest ... the men will NEVER say they prefer to date a woman with more money, more successful job than they have.
That's because they know there's no point in being honest in this fashion, since women will never (opps, I mean NEVER) go for dating a guy with less money, less successful job, etc.
So, nice try, but you really can't blame men for conforming to what women want. | |
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