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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:34:09 AM |
A man is measured by what he is and what he's got.. and that is confidence and success..
A fine human being can be measured by that she/he didn't waste her/his younger time and used her/his younger time to build his/her confidence and create his/her quality of life and any kind of success. Whether men or women, they are responsible for themselves. They can get what they have done. If they want more than they can't do, they wish they were luck. It's not necessary to complain about one another.
Share a true story with you guys:
There are two women in my neighborhood. They are friends and respectively have a house. Their houses are face to face cross the street. A has a boyfriend who lives with her and her children and sometimes gets so drunk. B who has children with her tries to find one. The interesting thing is when B meets some guy and feels good about the guy, A has a fight with her boyfriend. Then B is scared of A's situation and runs away from the guy she has met...They are also my friends who enjoy telling me everything about themselves and often ask me what kind of man I want. I tell them when I find the man I 'll know what kind of man I want.  | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:53:18 AM | You know what's nice about all of these threads that are always about gender wars?
It illustrates just how truly different that we are. Inside and out. Our wiring and thought processes. I notice that women tend to be defensive. Then it's "I can do as good as you can do it!" to the male gender. Something like a little sister to her big brother. He just shrugs it off and laughs at her.
I find that men have lots of cards to play to manipulate women. It's old war strategy. Negotiation to get what they want is foremost. Most women fall for it in the belief of it's equality. That is the biggest card for men. The equality card. They use it for money and for sex.
The ones that vanilli mentioned ........to the "test drive" sex card. There are so many out there that are meant to guilt women into submission it's not even funny. The names that women get labelled are incredible.
What is really important to each of us. We have to go back and take a good look at that.
Is it money? Sad. Is it as much sex as you can get? Sad.
Some women really understand the man's position and some men really understand the woman's position. They both accept and work with it.
Those people really don't have any problem with getting into a partnership style relationship. It's a balance...a Yin & Yang.
Money doesn't play a big part if it's a good loving, respectful and caring partnership. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:56:23 AM | Thank you Ahappygal for sharing that story.
At an early age, we all know what kind of man we want to spend our best years.
Belle Lass, I owe you a dozen Pink Roses, you are very good on argument. which I lack.
Your input is precise and crystal clear... Thank you. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:47:29 AM | Ok.. it's a long read but I used paragraphing and double spacing along with proper punctuation to try to break it up into salient points
Somewhere along the line the thread DID veer into the ditch
It seems it originally was about the different methods that are used to acquire a quality of life.. along with the sense of entitlement and how to combine all that with companionship and all things domestic
I believe that a lot of the current struggle comes FROM that sense of entitlement.
Both sides have it. What used to be the tradeoff, as grandma says was that tacit understanding of the exchange. Men were the financial providers, and it WAS an exchange of value. They provided the money.. the women made the HOUSE into a HOME.. hence "Homemaker" the woman got her financial needs provided for, while the men got their domestic needs provided for.
With the advent of women moving into the marketplace, they INITIALLY found themselves behind the earning curve. However.. the method they handled it, both IN the marketplace.. and the political arena seriously derailed the foundation of the WHY each gender did what they did.
As I stated in one of my earlier posts. Women wanted, fought for, and attained equality. In some arenas they have substantially surpassed men in the workplace. It's what the women sacrificed.. as well as what they so desperately keep trying to hold onto that makes for the irritation in men. Conversely, the women also lament things lost, but many times fail to see their participation, if not their creation of the problem.
1st point. For women to be totally equal, they HAVE to let go of the sense of entitlement. THEY need to change the laws that are SO punishing to men in the marital arena. You are not ENTITLED to a lifestyle that your chosen man's financial abilities provide.. when you are NO LONGER THAT MAN'S PARTNER. Marriage is a LEGAL PARTNERSHIP that is recognized by the "state" as an entity. Once that partnership is dissolved, just like in business, you DONT get any benefit from it in the future, post dissolution. Same as working at a job. You dont continue to get a paycheck, once you quit the job.
2nd point. Contradictions cant exist. IF a man wants certain traits in his female partner, he has to understand that there are certain things that just come with the territory. You cant have dominant AND submissive traits that are totally opposite to each other within ONE person. If you want a NON-ambitious woman(submissive), who will let you lead, and BE that stereotype of the 50's wife.. they are there to be had. Now.. WITH that comes that "sense of entitlement" I referred to above. The women WILL sacrifice THEIR income-earning, career building efforts.. or a better word is to trade them, for that promise of financial well-being. At that point gentlemen.. you HAVE to go into the annuity mode for life. CHOOSE gentlemen.
3rd point. Again, contradictions cant exist.. Ladies.. if you want equality, you will HAVE to sacrifice/trade in that entitlement thinking. OFFER a prenup. That prenup levels the playing field in the potential post-marital financial arena. NOW you are equal. You agree IN ADVANCE to not expect, nor take ANYTHING from the partnership that is created or made AFTER dissolution. Define the split of all assets made DURING, and decide what their equitable distribution will be.. IN ADVANCE. Eyes wide open. However, dont expect any preferential treatment(old school chivalry) AND dont expect men to be motivated to DO those male-strength oriented behaviors. In fact.. Find a girly man who is HAPPY to let you lead. The artist, creative type. The emotional-emoting, NON-ambitious type of man. And stop complaining about him not being MANLY enough. You wanted to wear the pants.. and there's only one pair.
4th. Expectations. One of the worst after-effects of the militant feminist movement has been that women have done a good job at tearing down the INSTINCTUAL man in their crab-like crawling to the top of the fishbowl. They've demonized male traits that are naturally found in men, but have also grasped and embraced those same male traits as a tool to move higher in the chain. They've torn and scratched at ALL the history of maledom.. where it has become a character flaw for men to just BE men. In doing the demolition, they havent defined what a GOOD MAN is.. in modern terms.
The feminist wrecking ball left us the 911 HOLE like the WTC. But, as yet, no rebuilding has been done. It's ironic that with so MANY heads of households being women, for going on 3 generations now, that the MEN coming out of those MATRIARCHAL environments are NOT being desired by current day women.
Ladies.. your older "sisters" who were at the front lines of the battle of the sexes, who became single mothers.. were the ones who raised the men you now so despise. THEY were the final teacher to all those boys and molded them into men.. They GOT their equality. THEY showed by example how their sons should be a man. They also chose ANGER as their motivating emotion.. anger at their ex HUSBAND, who was a MAN. Those single moms, with their anger both drove men away from those offspring, but made it difficult for that FATHER to come around his offspring. You cant limit men to every other weekend, and expect them to be able to TEACH their sons how to be a man. If you now have a problem with the current thinking within men, go yell at those men's mothers. Your insurrection sure tore down the old system. However.. you had no "Founding Mothers" to write a new constitution for BOTH genders to grow up under. Sure they killed the KING.. the man as the KING of his castle. But they didnt put in place a new democratic system. They just stood on the embassy walls and CROWED about their victory. (1979 reference)
Ladies.. your mothers and "the movement" has done you a huge disservice with the big lie
SAMENESS does not make for EQUALITY. You are now finding out what it is LIKE in the former-male-domain of the dog-eat-dog marketplace. You won. How does it feel? How does it feel to have sacrificed the one thing that motivated men instinctually to be your big strong protector? How does it feel to have men no longer put you on that pedastal and worship you? How does it feel when, after fighting the fight all day long.. against his competitors AND against his former motivation, he doesnt want to come home and continue that fight in his own home. How does it truly feel to NOT have a man? If the answer is, it feels GOOD.. why are you on a dating forum.. seeking a man? You've driven us off. You won. ENJOY your victory.
How does it feel to have lost your femininity? It's the ONE thing that made you female, that wasnt physical.
There is nurture, and nature. Women in their attack on all-things-male have left men with ONLY their instinctual selves. The fact that we STILL do what men have done through time rankles you women. Male mammals are NOT instinctually monogamous. I believe there are only 3 species that are in the entire world that ARE naturally monogamous. Since you have torn away at the BENEFIT of being monogamous, you have set men free to no longer feel the need, nor fear the societal consequence of NOT being monogamous. Again.. a former boundary-of-expectation that got destroyed with the feminist wrecking ball. You've set men FREER to go back to their basic instinctual desire/behavior of "whatever catches our eye" and that we can now acquire it without making any promises of fidelity or marriage. Society no longer holds them, and religion gave up THEIR hold on the reasonable-thinking man with their cult-like and immoral attempt to emasculate man from his instinctual being through shame and guilt. There is no longer any reason for a man to TRY to please anyone else other than himself.
Your smash-mouth tactics and constant harangues on maledom have created a backlash. You are complaining about the backlash and dont realize that you created it. You provide NO INCENTIVE to men to give you any of the things you are lamenting. In a dog-eat-dog world of equality with the door being the metaphor to the corporate top.. why on earth would your COMPETITOR hold the door open for YOU, when you are ready to knock him down.. run BY him to the prize? In killing the door-holding COURTESY in the now-equality-driven workplace, you've also killed it in the social place. (on a personal note, the NUMBER of times I've had women say to me "I CAN OPEN MY OWN DOOR" with a sneer are beyond count.)
We all now know the complaints. How about people giving ideas on how to fix it. Women.. you go first.
What will you women TRADE to get more of what you desire? Since your current methods are NOT WORKING, and.. men HAVENT changed in spite of your 40 years of the militant feminist insurrection, what are you going to do NOW? What do you suggest?
Without us men practicing self-castration and giving UP allthings MALE.. What do you want us to do NOW. Before and right up through the 1950's.. Men did things a certain way. There were tradeoffs that both parties were willing to make. We're talking about 30 of those years with women having the right to vote too. The 60's came and women have taken over. You have ALL your "rights" The pre-1960 RESPONSIBILITIES/expectations of women that came with the EXCHANGE have been destroyed. YOU say that men can no longer expect any of the things that those women used to do. If that is so, you too can no longer expect any of those things that we MEN used to do either. Equality
So what CAN we men expect and hope for? Give us an outline. Create a DOABLE definition of what it is to be a man. Tell us what we have to do in order to get all the things men have wanted from women, to be given freely and joyfully BY you.. without rancor.. without making it such a battle. Then tell us the prize. Tell us what is in it for us to DO those things you desire.
Please tell us. We really want to know. Just dont ask us to open our inner feminine side and tell you how we FEEL. Dont ask us to pee sitting down. STOP with the toiletseat locationfrustration, and dont ask us to buy your feminine needs products. NONE of those things make us FEEL like a man. (for those who dont recognize irony and humor, parts of that last paragraph came from my humor central)
Teach us. Motivate us. INSPIRE us to cherish you. My initial suggestion is: Start by being cherishable | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:56:51 AM | I can see asking for views on this persons comment sure did go way off track. Looks like in many it turned into a war of the sexes, due to differing gender roles.
I was able to gleen a few things from some of the responses, like both sexes today expect each to contribute equally to the household, no one either women/man can be a slacker in todays economy. Does the guy in question look an unlikey choice based upon employment income, it seems most chose not to get involved with a low earner, although some responded as long as he was working and productive they would consider someone like that, admirable to say the least. I realize people can learn to better themselves through additonal training and experience, just have to find such opportunity. This is what I was looking for, that though it may seem shallow, as when we were young and had our values, indeed growing into adults many of us had to shed our views of "living on love" it doesnt pay the bills, and as the times change so do we for the most part. In a society where everything costs, both genders have to give equally otherwise things can be doomed from the outset. Niether gender can be expected to live off the coattails of the other gender. We live in a world where equal opportunity rings true to all. Thanks for all the responses they were intresting, and I learned from it.
OP | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:05:55 AM | ^^^^OP: As soon as you placed the words "WHO PAYS" - it was DOOMED to take on the same ole' BS that we see on MANY threads...... | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:08:11 AM | | I'm not going to give a man an outline of what it is to be a man and what I want from him. There are too many variables and too many personalities that both genders possess on an individual basis. He either meshes with my personality or he doesn't. Feminist movements have****all to do with it and I so wish that would stop being brought up as well as the cave man scenarios...cripes...no one even knows for certain what the dynamics were then; it's full of assumptions that aren't verifiable. The most I can offer is for men to treat women the way they'd appreciate being treated and vice versa and for each gender to stop generalizing about the other based on your own experiences in which you played some form of active role until you decided to stop playing that role. In other words, grow up and be responsible for your own decisions and who you pick for partners. It really starts and ends there. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:16:35 AM |
It's a balance...a Yin & Yang.
Knowledgable girl, you have stolen some conceptual vaules from my culture..
BTW, OP is single and overweighted and never gets married but asks the idiot question. IMO, OP seems asking someone to be responsible for him... | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:24:04 AM |
Ahappygal,
Knowledgable girl, you have stolen some conceptual vaules from my culture..
BTW, OP is single and overweighted and never gets married but asks the idiot question. IMO, OP seems asking someone to be responsible for him
Maybe if you read the thread, and gleened some thing from the experience you would learn from the experience, but lowering yourself doesnt make you look very well. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:25:16 AM | I find that men have lots of cards to play to manipulate women. It's old war strategy. Negotiation to get what they want is foremost.
A partnership is never agreed upon without a negotiation by both parties. But it seems that you want to focus on what you feel are a "man's" trump cards.
That is the biggest card for men. The equality card. They use it for money and for sex.
Gender equality was started by women, and levels the playing field. You benefit tremendously from it, and can't use the "gentler sex" card anymore.
You can't have it both ways.
Sucks to be you.
Uhhh...those days are in the past. Some of us never lived it, and have no interest in having a "homemaker" wife.
What you describe is like adopting a child. The thought of adopting a "wife", like I would a child, makes my skin crawl.... Another facet of your personality emerges.....utter dislike of women who were stay at home wives/mothers.....I wonder why? Makes your skin crawl. That is dramatic.
What "emerges" is your lack of comprehension.
I never talked about "mothers".
I'm talking about adopting an adult as a reliant dependent like the "ole days" when a woman was helplessly reliant and under control by the male.
A proponent of a system where a woman has children but doesn't raise them.
A total fabrication of your imagination.
You sneer at the most important job/responsibility in the Universe. A mother being allowed to raise her young.
That's not overestimating yourself now, is it?
President, treasurer, and the one responsible for charity drives of your own fan club. 
What happened in your young life? I know you had quite a bit of exposure to the "urban life" of bars and the habitants of them. Did that leave a stigma with you?
No. It left me with tons of empirical experience.
I grew up in the hotel, restaurant, and bar business, and then later was a semi-pro musician that toured many different places for almost 10 years, and then studied psychology in college.
Is that the "stigma" that you seem to be concerned about?
I have benefitted from an enormous high frequency of exposure to thousands of adults in candid, social settings, and observed them from a purely objective standpoint from a very young age.
Which makes me immune to dime store psychology and anthropological conjecture about how males and females are "wired" differently, or how they are "wired" in general.
Not many people have lived a childhood similar to mine, so it's only natural that I have a perspective that many people will never be able to understand.
Being a full-time wife at home can be a skill-builder that gives a woman the opportunity to be skilled in so many things.
That's not going to impress anyone with putting that on your CV, anymore than I'm going to impress anyone with the fact that I know how to mix a ton of drinks, can change the pucks in the urinals in a public washroom, and know what to do when someone overdoses....
I believe that a lot of the current struggle comes FROM that sense of entitlement.
Both sides have it. What used to be the tradeoff, as grandma says was that tacit understanding of the exchange. Men were the financial providers, and it WAS an exchange of value. They provided the money.. the women made the HOUSE into a HOME.. hence "Homemaker" the woman got her financial needs provided for, while the men got their domestic needs provided for.
No need to overcomplicate things.
Here it is in black and white.
Society has EVOLVED.
The "traditional" gender roles are largely no longer the "default", Daddy brings home the bacon for Mommy to cook it.
There is an identity crisis being forced because people can't suck and blow at the same time.
Unless a woman wants to play the type of "traditional" subservient to a man, then she needs to accept that she's expected to be all that it means to be independent and autonomous. That if she is a "working girl" then she is expected to contribute assets equally, and not rely on the male to provide the majority.
Stop switching the roles when it suits you best. That just keeps moving the goal posts.
Every team has a "position". The success of that "team" is everyone adhering to that position, and sticking to the script.
If you keep switching your position, then there is nothing but chaos.
But this is derailing from the topic of the OP about the sense of entitlement, the double standards, and increased focus on "materialism" vs character and personality, observed in female mate selection, in contrast to the males. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:42:26 AM | I just read the OP and not much after it.
But I think its unrealistic to think that an
older woman or one that has already been
in a relationship or one that has worked
all her life and is now retired would consider
being with someone that can't provide STABILITY
in most things. Doesn't mean he has to be rich, but
does mean he has to be able to carry his own weight.
I don't really believe there are a bunch of men out
there being by passed because women are looking for
material gains. Most woman I know have worked,
own their own houses, have their own money and
can do pretty much what they want. (and don't give me
that "they got all they have from the divorce" crappola,
because that's not been my experience either.)
It's been my observation that the men that complain
about women being "gold diggers" are men that for the
most part have nothing to offer and are offended that
a woman wouldn't see beyond their lack of stability into
their heart and soul to see the real man living there.
These are also the men that will bypass a woman for
something like looks, age or weight.
The reality is...people get by passed everyday for these things.
You're too old for someone, too fat for someone, too poor
for someone, too ugly for someone. Why worry about what
you're NOT and concern yourself about what you ARE and
look for the person that recognizes that? | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:01:04 PM |
but lowering yourself doesnt make you look very well.
You started the thread and wanted everyone to discuss your question. If you can't suffer what you don't like or can't learn to better one from others, you should keep quiet and don't try to get attention from everyone. What I mentioned is from your profile and your question. Did I ask "who pays" the question to lower myself? You don't know what is low. Under your condition with your idiot question, how are you able to ask everyone to say good things to you? | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:01:05 PM | 1kind man 4u... Thank you that was a good debate topic. People tend to be materialistic ~men their expensive toys, women their wastefulness on material things to make them, beautiful , competing
with the Joneses.... What is hurting both men and woman is selfishness and greed...
That fat old bald ugly man wants a young sophisticated hottie chick,~~~ what do you think what that hot chick wants from an old bald ugly guy who is still experimenting on material gains ??? I'll let you answer that.
The success of life for men and woman are quality experienced of peace and harmony,if that fat old ugly guy will look for a mate that is his equal he will be happy and contented..
This feminizm serves a good purpose we are recognized as a person, equal to another person (man) we can work shoulder to shoulder creating a good life. It's been years and years Women works ,raising children, cooking, doing housechore farm chores ,but they are still not recognize as a person equal to a man. Now ,we have judges,women in politics, CEO women ,what a man can do in a work force woman can do too.
If a man wants respect from a woman, he should show his strong and powerful side of actions and not blabber in black and white his pityful situation whining and groaning on who pays for dates,vacation ,he lost everything no job,is someone out there would want to date him ???? I don't blame women who look down on him.............
I got it ,he is "HONEST" or trying to hustle a free ride ?
As a woman I am INSPIRING you, never show your weakness to a woman,and don't take undignified treatment from them that you are a worthless human being,,,,,, be strong,powerful,kind,loving and smart more than a woman..
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:08:14 PM | Really what is the problem here? Why are you worried about these women? Find someone who isnt like that. Its quite simple really, just like when you realize that someone wouldnt be a good match based on smoking, drinking, has kids or no kids, height or weight. I really dont understand these threads, or is this an attemp by the Op to edjumicate all of us women on how to behave and what we should or shouldnt do, that is what it really smells like to me.
Kindman(HAHAHA just righting that makes me giggle) apparently has some pretty big anger and sees the world through a very filtered set of glasses. Dont tell me what I need to do or what I supposedly took from you as a woman. This type of ranting is the same as all those feminazis you so despise, the world has changed, accept it and move on. It isnt ever going back to this mystical, magical TV induced fantasy. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:10:54 PM |
You started the thread and wanted everyone to discuss your question. If you can't suffer what you don't like, you should keep quiet and don't try to get attention from everyone. What I mentioned is from your profile and your question. Did I ask "who pays" the question to lower myself? You don't know what is low. Under your condition with your idiot question, how are you able to ask everyone to say good things to you?
People are free to post whatever thread topic they choose. There is
an opportunity for members to choose to delete any
thread. If the thread doesn't get deleted the thread comes up
for discusssion.
When someone starts a thread, they
should of course expect whatever advice/answers/criticisms etc. that come their way.
This thread has nothing at all to do with whether or not the OP is "overweighted."
It was not an idiot question, as you can see there are pages of people openly debating
and offering their opinions about the subject.
It's pretty impossible to be quiet in a forum that requires participation to work.
...and it goes without saying that ANYONE who chooses to post in these forums
gets attention because others read their posts.
Perhaps if you would check your history, you would see that it's in fact yourself
that is incredibly negative in many of your posts...but I've yet to see anyone
request that "you keep quiet"? | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:42:33 PM | Verity...
You said "homemaker/wife". Broad term which implies any woman who's not working and making a paycheque. Most women who don't work nowadays and are dependent on their man are in the baby-raising mode. They become homemaker/wife for a time.
If you wanted to split hairs, then say so instead of wallowing in your skin-crawling and making a broad generalization.
I am not a man. I am a woman and of the gentler sex. YOU deal with it. It sucks to be you, eh?
President, treasurer, and the one responsible for charity drives of your own fan club.
Is this a personal statement...or part of the debate? On topic? Hmmmm.....gosh...I didn't see where it was brought in to be hotly debated. Watch it, your hypocrisy is showing.
And...please..before I vomit...stop with this "daddy" BS. All of a sudden it's become the hot card to play. Another manipulative card designed to make women feel like pieces of crap for accepting nice things from men in the courting process....like dinners and other things he pays for. Did someone write a book on this for men? It is so full of BS and you, verity, with your so-called psychology courses behind you, openly using this rhetoric? You should be ashamed of yourself.
Edit:
sense of entitlement, the double standards, and increased focus on "materialism" vs character and personality, observed in female mate selection, in contrast to the males.
I could counter with a few unsavoury traits that males have been observed to acquire. The concern of money is so blatant. The dog in manger attitudes by some males on here is sickening. It comes first before any consideration of love. But, they also blow out the other cheek about how women should just look at sex like males do.
These men seem to forget that we are females.
Maybe, they should be trained to act more like females. Wait until you are in a monagamous relationship until you have sex. If you don't, you are a pig. Our health centres are very concerned with the STDs out there. Maybe acting like a man sexually is not what Nature intended, eh????
Anybody ever think that trying to be like a man in everything is NOT what we are supposed to be doing?
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:45:43 PM |
This thread has nothing at all to do with whether or not the OP is "overweighted."
It was not an idiot question, as you can see there are pages of people openly debating
and offering their opinions about the subject.
This is your opinion that can't replace mine... Overweighted, never married, and asked the question of "who pays" absolutely are related....
but I've yet to see anyone request that "you keep quiet"?
Did you see I have started any thread? If you want to comfort OP, you should send him a private message; no need to argue with me. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:22:44 PM | Honestly? If everyone would simply make sure that they are sufficient enough to cover their own expenses, and (GASP) forego dating if they aren't unless they can do it inexpensively, while appreciating but NOT expecting others to take care of them - most of these issues and threads wouldn't exist.
Beyond that it's up to the individual couple to both match mindsets and go with what they personally thinks works for them.
What works for us isn't always right or wrong, it's just perhaps not what works for everyone else.
Men who feel it's wrong to support a woman (and vice versa, of course) should find a woman they don't have to support, etc etc. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:28:42 PM | Now you act better, I think...LOL!
Just what is overweighted?
And why would you be concerned of my maritial status?
You have a few chins with a big belly on your pictures. You are overweighted! By having first a few posts, I didn't pay attention to your profile. When I checked your profile, I was wondering why you have worried about who pays and don't take care of yourself first. I concern nothing. What I mentioned was using my straightforward way to question why men at 50s worry about money too much, including those who never get married! I don't want to make anybody angry, but sometimes it happens. I don't care about that... | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:17:05 PM | | And maybe I find you anemic like you dont eat properly. The thing about weight is it can be always lost or put on. Character is a quality which takes much longer to develop maybe by the age of sixty you may attain both. | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:27:20 PM | This seems to be a bigger issue when there is not a balance in a relationship. If one party is much younger than the other, they may see their youth as an asset for which the other party pays. Same with looks, status, etc. If both parties are "peers," there should not be such a dependency.  | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:53:02 PM |
And maybe I find you anemic like you dont eat properly. The thing about weight is it can be always lost or put on. Character is a quality which takes much longer to develop maybe by the age of sixty you may attain both.
My mother who is 87 still runs fast with her little bounded feet when she is busy. My American friends tell me I look like teenage although I believe they joke with me so forget your unrealistic imagination! | |
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| Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:53:35 PM | As for my husband's reasons for being happy with me being finanacially dependent?
GREAT SEX - where the BJ's INCREASED once he said I DO
TRUE partnership
This is a cop out. I've already demonstrated that these are not a requirement for one to be dependent on the other. You can suck his pickle with the same fortitude, if you make your own money and take care of yourself. And since when did a true partnership involve sugar daddies?
As for your Peter Pan stories, as BDJ said, your stories here conflict what you've said in other threads (i.e. why a women would expect a guy to pay for everything). Did you think that the mods could erase that thread from our brains?
I know it's hard for you to comprehend, Teen, but there are lots of men out there who really are not control freaks and they really honestly like a woman's company and love. Money, to them is not an issue. It's to be enjoyed.
This might be hard for you to understand, but there are guys out there that have money and use it for power. They buy everything they want, including women. When they buy something, it's their belief that they own it. Understand? One other thing, most people (men and women included) will care about the money and assets that they've worked hard to earn over the years. They will care about protecting their retirement and future goals. Saying that money doesn't matter in based fantasy and fairy tales. | |
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