| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:34:27 PM | As to your second question OP:
should you date him?
No.
5 months separated from his ex...with daughter....making payments on her car...in his name...to avoid child support?
Is he is the only single guy in Arkansas????
(If so, move!)
Not trying to be mean.
We get involved with someone and sometimes we don't see things clearly.
But two things with this guy:
He's not really date-able till he's un-entwined from his ex.
And you won't get a real relationship(or a car) from him till he is.
Throw the guppy back.
You can do better.
Good Luck. | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:50:38 PM |
Oh I never asked him one thing about his finances, I found out the same way you find out a man is cheating...he dropped it right in my lap. I would rather not know that kind of stuff at all until it might actually matter.
Well if it doesn't actually matter yet then why are you all in a huff about it? Hmmm
So is it strange for a man to just blab all that stuff right out of the gate?
Only as strange as the woman he was telling using his open conversation with her as a way to put him down later, when she doesn't get her way!
I'm not sure, but it didn't do much for getting off on the right foot.
But you stuck around anyways didn't you. Climb down from your cross we can use the wood!
"The Rock Man" wow you are one bitter nasty useless person. I'm really shocked they let you post in a place I assume is supposed to be helpful.
What a hoot. I'm one of the only people not taking you at your word so I'm the one thats useless.  You can take my honesty any way you like. The same goes for find what I or others say as useful. You've got 25 people patting you on your head saying it's him not you. Why worry about the one person calling you out on your bullshet?
but I see the general rule is to ignore you so I'll comply.
Well you learn faster then most. I would rather see an unarmed combatant surrender then to continue a battle of wits completely unarmed.
I can quote "your posts", and prove everything I have posted. Your not here for advice your here to bad mouth someone thats not here to defend themselves. With things you had no problem with untill things didn't go your way! Your looking for sympathy not a solution. Well let me make it easy on you. You can find sympathy in the dictionary. Right between shet and syphilis!
Every time you post you help to clarify everything I have said! So please continue to post!
~Rock Man~
The troll detector! | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:00:58 PM | I don`t think you have to attack this woman in this type of fashion.
I don`t see what you`re accomplishing.
It`s clear she`s troubled by whats happening in her life and she decided to ask for advice which is what these forums are for.
She`s not badmouthing anyone nor is she claiming her actions are correct. She`s confused and i`m sorry to say needs our help not this type of behavior.
Just my $.02 ... | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:30:31 PM | Funny because I didn't see any concern for the man or his way of life being shown in the op or any of the posts that followed.
The guy is being painted as a complete whack job for no other reason then effect!
Even the thread title is a lie to gain the man bashing edge. The guy is making payments on his ex's car. Not only his ex but the mother of his child.
The op actually admitted that she asked him how long they would have to date for her to cheat and also receive car. Even though she knew the car was hers before the break up of the relationship! What a slap in the face this guy got for being honest.
So if you feel someone that would stoop to such a level is in that much need of pats on the head then go for it.
If there is a victim in all of this it's the guy she's dragging through the mud! But he's not here so that doesn't count right?
Save it for the rest of the chaotic folks on here. I'm not buying it for a second.
Your type of help leave the person repeating the same bullshet behaviour again and again.
Mine is to the point and 100% honest with no bad intentions at all! Just because you don't like the way a doctor tells you that you have cancer doesn't mean you don't have it! You treat the symptoms and I'll treat the illness! | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:45:08 PM | Right! So you continue attacking her post after post! Makes alot of sense.Don`t you think you`ve proven your point?
Thanks for clearing that up...
Are you a licensed psychiatrist ? | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:48:56 PM | I think Rock Man is right...this is mostly about trolling. I think the OP's dude's a loser and wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole,, but maybe he actually has reasons for living with mom (maybe he has to support her? maybe she's ill?) and I agree that he ought to be concerned about the safety of the ex's ride if she's ferrying his kid around. Still, too much drama there for me.
That leaves the question of if I should still date him at all and see if his circumstances change in time.
OP, if you really do wonder about the answer to that question, you seriously need to have your head examined. Or stop trolling. Preferably both. | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:49:32 PM | OP, i will not be mean spirited but you are too cute to put up with that kind of nonsense and old enough to know better than to date dude that is still at home with "mommy"
also, this guy is letting "old girl" make a fool out of him and he is trying to make a fool out of you now. please dump him but first see if he will buy you a house or a complete leather living room set or a 72 inch big screen tv....then dump in.
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:22:29 PM | please, for the sake of your own sanity, just dump him already.
he obviously values her more then you if he is buying her a car. especially if he isn't buying you one. not to mention he lives at home with his mother, is he buying her a car too??
just walk away. please don't humiliate yourself any further. | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:52:07 PM | All of you lynch mobers can keep acting like the op is credible, but it's only making you guys look as foolish as she is. (not that anything less would be expected from the same ole bitter nut knockers posting here)
The guy is paying for the car because it's the right thing to do. What kind of man would take her vehicle away? Not only leaving her stranded but his daughter too.
If that is the agreement they made upon the split who is anyone to say it's wrong?
Ok my opinion here is this.
And even rockman might be surprised at this.
(Incidentally dude... if I think you're talking sh*t and wrong... I'll call you on it.. .if I think you're right... you get the exact same response)
All of you lynch mobers can keep acting like the op is credible, but it's only making you guys look as foolish as she is. (not that anything less would be expected from the same ole bitter nut knockers posting here)
The guy is paying for the car because it's the right thing to do. What kind of man would take her vehicle away? Not only leaving her stranded but his daughter too.
If that is the agreement they made upon the split who is anyone to say it's wrong?
Exactly.
OP this man is 5 months out of a LONG term relationship.
He's NOT finalised there. Get over it... or get out.
Cos if you think he's "ready"... you're a moron.
THIS was sorted out fairly BEFORE you came along and no doubts BOTH of them think its fair and you are on the end of an ongoing agreement whether you like it or not.
Whether you like it or not... bad f*cken luck.
You're one of those gals that get involved with guys (reverse if it was vice versa) and stick your freakin nose in business that DOESNT concern you and either cause problems for everyone involved cos of your "feelings" and insecurities (and lets throw some tears in there for sympathy sakes)... or just because you can and want that money spent on you.
Its his responsibility... before you came along.
Stay OUT of it. Its NOTHING to do with you.
Msg 55
Guys can only have a #1 girl in their life. It is how our brain works. Once you are #2 you can never become a #1 again. I worry that all this paying for a car business is stuff you'd only do if the girl was a #1 in your brain. Which means you should move on.
In a roundabout way... he's right.
Except in this case... that Number One girl in the man's life... is his daughter.
DONT interfere in relationships that do NOT involve you. That includes IF or when you ever are given the honor of being this child's step-mom.
I can only speculate that a year down the line when we are really serious I will have a man who is getting his a** sued off for back child support because he didn't know what he was doing.
And WHAT makes you think he doesnt know exactly what HE's doing and you do not eh?
Just cos he hasnt detailed the inventory of every financial decision he's making?
they got the car when they were together so his name is on it.
Its in his name which makes HIM financially responsible for it.
All you need to know... is to shut the hell up.
You have no business being involved with people that have children otherwise.
You're step-nightmare waiting to happen and will turn everyone against everyone.
Let's make everyone unhappy... because of YOU.
DONT put yourself between a man and his children.
Frankly Id think your guy was an absolute a$$hole if he put you before his child and her best interests
And one last thing...
I think he is still involved with his ex, still playing games with his ex, and that it is a control issue for him.
Ya know that very well could be.
But you know what else that tells you... he cares more about her and would reconcile with HER if they can work it out... than he does about you.
Take yourself OUT of the equation... and they might have a chance if you give him back to her cos if what's worrying you deep inside is true... he loves her... he doesnt love you.
Or learn your place.
...which is "support".. and NOT dictator... of situations that have nothing to do with you.
Thank Gawd for my ex... and his lovely new wife.
Just like she doesnt interfere in my relationship with my ex husband and what's "right"...
... I dont interfere with them
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:42:46 PM | Sorry sister, but that is unacceptable. By accepting it, you admit to a certain amount of denial. He doesn't owe her alimony unless the court orders it. Clearly he is not in forward motion mode-more like reverse. I feel bad for you as you must surely hurt over this one! You are lucky though that you haven't been dating long=less of your heart invested in someone who is not truly ready to move on. I would definitely also take note of the fact they were together for 12 years and he did not commit to her-as in marriage-what does that say about his ability to make a lifelong commitment? She probably told him that he 'owed her' because of all the time she invested in him and got no commitment herself. You are an attractive lady and can definitely do better. Best wishes!  Wiyan | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:24:00 AM | Um, OP, you aren't even divorced. How serious could it be regardless of his ex and the car.
The bigger issue isn't the car, it is that neither of you are in a healthy place to begin a healthy relationship. Sorry, just my opinion. | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:16:42 AM | | What's it to you? It isn't as if anyone who remains separated for nine years, without divorcing, really wants to get serious with anyone anyway. | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:45:55 PM | Yep, $400 a month is a bit steep for him to be getting nothing in return for his money. Guess he can afford it 'cuz he's living off his mom. They've GOT to still be sleeping together, sorry.
If he blew you off, he's too chicken-shit to tell the truth. Let that philandering momma's boy go. | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:48:53 PM | | If he is buying her a car, she is not an 'ex'. She is his 'bit of stuff on the side'...a backup. | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:09:12 PM | Some of you people are just well.... dummies.
No... really... you ARE.
They have a daughter and he is paying for the car willingly in order to not have to pay "real" child support based on his income because he has a decent job.
Its in lieu of child support.
Instead of cash... get it?
Not hard to figure that part out... is it?
And yet...
...by most of the amazing leaps of observation by everyone in this thread... EVERY man paying Child Support must be having sex with his ex partner.
I will have a man who is getting his a** sued off for back child support because he didn't know what he was doing
Sounds to me like the guy knows EXACTLY what he's doing.
How about this...?
If he's got the receipts for what he's paid... it absolutely will NOT make a freakin difference.
It SHOWS he's "paid" his Child Support
Also, they got the car when they were together so his name is on it.
He pays for it... and for all intents and purposes he owns it since his name is on it.
All she's doing for the moment is driving it around... she DOESNT own it (unless her name it on the title as well which means she likely only owns "half")... and she ISNT getting any money.
There is absolutely no guarantee he'll fully sign it over.
If he doesnt... SHE has to take him to court for him to do that or retrieve her monies.
And you'd have a problem with that how OP?
I see you've got kids of your own... think you'd be happy about not getting what you're entitled for your child/children in Child Support?
IF he tries to screw her outta the ownership when the car is paid for...then she'll have rights to claim back the Child Support...
... so I guess you better make sure thats a situation that doesnt happen OP
That he does the right thing by his ex and his child.
If either of them are in the better position... its the OPs "boyfriend"
And let me reiterate WHY
he is paying for the car willingly in order to not have to pay "real" child support based on his income because he has a decent job
By the OPs admittance... he's paying LESS than what his ex is entitled to in Child Support.
He's getting out of it easy.
She gets to drive the car in the meantime and has to trust the guy wont screw her over in the end?
They've cut a deal that works for BOTH of them... and like I said in my previous post... its got nothing to do with the OP and she should stay out of it.
How ya gonna feel when the car is paid for... he signs it over... and then has gotta pay his ex for example $600 per month is Child Support.
Probably means he'd be f*cking her... no?
Some of you people see *something*... when there's *nothing*
And Id be more concerned about the OPs ability to handle her finances including many other people in this thread... than this guy.
Talk about feeling threatened by the ex. You're a classic example OP.
They're each... by the sounds of it... doing each other a favor. Working together for the sake of their child. Makes both of THEM sound like reasonable people to me...
... and that the OP is being manipulative. Trying to cause problems where there is not and attempting to turn them against each other.
Or do you *need* to come up with an excuse as to *why* to break things off with him... cos you're gut is telling you... he's inlove with her... and not you?
Like I already said... you're a step-nightmare waiting to happen cos either you are so manipulative and selfish... or you dont know when to stay out of things that dont concern you... or you just have nfi. | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/10/2009 6:15:13 PM | | Yes sweetie, the stamp is there big and clear. Why on earth would you put up with a man like this? Clearly he is not over his ex. Clearly he lives at home with mommy. Clearly he is even willing to pay monthly for this girl's car. Get Out! It's like hellooo.....where am I in this situation? And to think he left you for a week because you questioned him....I mean is there anything more to be said? You must be pretty blind. The stamp is there, you are wearing it.. and get out now. Even if he is buying the car in lieu of child support, it sounds like he has a lot of baggage he is carrying around with him, and if you want to be with him, you will have to carry that baggage as well. Hmmm....i would get out. | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/12/2009 3:28:59 AM | You recently met him, so I doubt you have the whole story on the car or anything else for that matter.
Is it that he lives with mom and pays his exes car payment ( he says he does) that bothers you or that they still have something going on?
How do you know he pays it? He probably doesn't show you the canceled check.
Well, either he has unfinished business with her or is a complete fick wad.
I would say clueless more than stupid.
Move on. | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/12/2009 4:39:28 AM | Well I take back my post.
He is the father of her child?
My gawd, you begrudge the woman for having a decent car?
Yeah, I say stupid is stamped on your forehead but not for the reasons you think.
I would also add selfish.
Your original post left out a lot, so what else is missing besides his side of this childish rant? | |
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| Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/12/2009 4:48:22 AM | LORD JESUS HEALLLLLLLLLLL THIS WOMAN OF HER AFFLICTION!!!!!
Girl...what the???
You're kidding right? OK fine, so he's got a kid with this chick and he bought her a car. But come ON....what are you getting out of it? Good d**k? Sorry if that sounds rude but holy crap!
But...wait...I think some of us missed this gem, which makes me question WTF?
he ended a twelve year relationship with his girlfriend because she cheated on him and now has a new boyfriend
Uh...hell no. Pay the child support. Buy a car? Isn't that what the NEW man should have done? So basically this loser you're chasing after is paying a car note to allow her, his child, AND her new man ride around in style while he stays with mom?
Yeah he's a keeper. You don't have stupid stamped on your forehead...you have love and acceptance, and oh DOORMAT up there.
Everyday I think I'm unhappy cause I don't date...then I read stuff like this...thanks OP for putting life into perspective. | |
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