| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:40:10 AM | | It seems everybody keeps saying to date nonreligious types, but for me the issue is still where to find them. Even on dating sites like pof, the majority in my area are extremely religious or they are military. I would guess that it would be even harder in the bible belt. Fuzy is this part of your problem or is it just the women you are choosing to date? | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:49:42 AM | I didn't encounter it that way but everytime I caught my late* husband cheating he'd drop down on his knees and start going on about how he was a backslider -- and then he would go into his suddenly saved i.e. born again, and again, and again routine.
Kinda f^cked me over but good coz with he and his 'Praise the Lord' babbling family all focusing on the glory of it all, I was hard pressed to kick his sorry a$$ to the curb without appearing to be putting to boots to JC himself.
*I had nothing to do with it I swear -- we were already divorced by then. | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:55:36 AM |
however once the sex started they began to feeling guilty.
OP, sorry to break the news to you. Apparently you didn't make them see Jesus or scream God when you have sex with them. They are looking for someone who can. | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:16:14 AM | I'm taking you seriously since I have been on both sides of this situation, having been raised fundamentalist and then making the mistake of dating one after I had defected to the dark side.
It's a sort of compliment to you that they set aside their beliefs.
Unless of course they fall off the path every other week with a different guy.
It's even sort of a compliment to them that they're not the type of hypocrite who makes holy noises in church then habitually purposely goes against what they say they believe, unconcerned over any loss of integrity.
Either way, probably doesn't help you feel better about what happened.
The age of these women, if they believe in all the church stuff about sin, is actually working against them, not for them. If they think good men are hard to find, then by now they'd've noticed good men who also agree sex is sinful, are even harder. Also they could possibly believe that by the 30's, they should have a handle on all this --
--which they probably should. So I agree the obvious logical way to avoid this is to stay right the hell away from anyone who is so conflicted about it. | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:59:52 AM |
For instance most women that say they are Catholic, it means that they go there once a year (for the majority).
They should have a "Christmas and Easter Catholic" sub-category.
Technically speaking, Catholic Baptism is an indelible mark, so therefore if you're Baptized in the Catholic Church, you're always a Catholic.
Ever hear the Catholic motto, "Party Saturday, pray Sunday, Confess on Monday? It's great!
I'm Catholic, but even I can't stand the overly Catholic people who go on and on about this and that being evil. I have my own personal views on PMS, and they're still restrictive in nature out of self-respect. | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 11:14:02 AM | LOLOL TJ99!!!
This one really got me laughing. I haven't heard anything like that in a long time.
I think you should take this as a message to you, from you. Bear with me and let me explain.
You were very drawn and attracted to them and they to you. We are almost always most turned off by the very things we are most attracted to in another person. Oh we don't readily realize it because we label those things differently.
Example: I may be attracted to a man that can be highly sexy and romantic and is capable of giving me a very dream-like romantic weekend.
Yet I hate that he can at times be fickle and moody.
Well, both of those scenarios and pieces of his personality come from the exact same charateristic. You can't have one without its counter-balance, the dark side.
You, may actually be searching deep inside for a higher power, a reason to believe in something, some stabilizing belief to be accountable to, maybe God. Only you know and it could be many things that i have not hit the name of here. It was those qualitites that these women had that attracted you, even if you THOUGHT it was something else, but what created those qualities also creates their need to be pure until married. If they do not break it off with you, they know that it will happen again and they will be conflicted.
To solve this, look openly at what it is your inner soul is searching for. Good Luck. And may I recommend a book, non-religious and may seem off-topic, but I don't think so...Infinite Love and Gratitude, by Darren Weismann.
SS | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 11:22:15 AM |
You list yourself as "Non-Religious"-- why not stick to your own kind? You'll never understand if you're Non-Religious No insight with this comment to why a so-called "religious" person acts in a way which they consider to be amoral.
don't date women that have that religious belief. i don't think it is an excuse, i think many have been raised with that belief and do have guilt from it. I have to disagree with this statement. These "religious" sorts whose behavior don't match their spoken words use their "religion" out as a way to rationalize their breakups. If they truly were "religious", they wouldn't use their religion as a crutch to seek forgiveness; they'd look to Jesus for guidance BEFORE they transgressed, not AFTER. | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 11:37:00 AM | "Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!"
Just relax OP, they'll be back.
See, Jesus don't do dishes, mow the lawn, doesn't work, has no income (loser!), lives with his parent, doesn't own a car, hangs out with prostitutes, has money issues (moneylenders at the church), walks everywhere and drinks a lot of water (he SAYS it's water, but WE know).
So they'll be sending him to the curb real soon.
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 11:37:41 AM |
You list yourself as "Non-Religious"-- why not stick to your own kind? You'll never understand if you're Non-Religious
bikeman1467:
No insight with this comment to why a so-called "religious" person acts in a way which they consider to be amoral. He'd have to ask her that. The Scriptures say Christians should strive to live "'in the world, but not of it". Many people struggle with trying to live a moral life in an immoral world.
If they truly were "religious", they wouldn't use their religion as a crutch to seek forgiveness; they'd look to Jesus for guidance BEFORE they transgressed, not AFTER. God forgives. | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 11:48:28 AM | I dated a woman who had strong religious beliefs last year as well.. Sex was far from desirable where I just didn't bother anymore. To me.. she had many sexual hang ups. But not to her. She just has different beliefs.. After 10 months.. It was something I couldn't ignore anymore. Needless to say.. we both are looking for someone more suitable to our own preferences.
It's not really pulling a card.. Its the fact they weren'y completely aware of what they wanted in the beginning and strung you out for a bit.
Don't get mad. It's life. If the process were that simple we wouldn't be on POF! People try and convince themselves of ignoring certain signs, because of looks, conversations, interests. We all have done it. No biggie. Stay positive. | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 11:48:42 AM |
The Scriptures say Christians should strive to live "'in the world, but not of it". Many people struggle with trying to live a moral life in an immoral world. Sure, but why would a religious person get involved with someone who doesn't have that sort of base belief system, then do immoral things with that person and seemingly blame their immorality on the other person? That is really what the OP is asking. I'm sure there's some sort of Biblical spin on this, and it won't make sense to people who take responsibility for their actions.
God forgives. Sure, but doesn't a religious person believe that it is human to err but divine to forgive? Wouldn't they forgive the other person if they valued them however felt that they were a transgressing influence? I say what the OP is describing is a copout. What's the religious rationale for blaming someone else for your own weaknesses?? | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 11:58:02 AM | bikeman1467 : maybe these are questions you can discuss with your clergy.
People, religious and non, have struggles within themselves.
People, religious and non, don't always make decisions they're proud of.
People, religious and non, give in to temptations and endure subsequent regrets.
This woman's actions are her own to come to terms with.
"is human to err but divine to forgive"-- that's not Scripture, that's Alexander Pope. But you understand what the word "divine" means, right? | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:02:46 PM | | She left me for Jesus, was the number one song on the folk charts last year. Was she digging the song a lot? Had some married women doing the guilt thing, but it never last long before they were over it. | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:14:19 PM |
there should be a sub-category to religion. It could go like this....
I'm religious but I fornicate...
1) Often
2) Some of the time
3) Trying to quit
4) Never
OP, I think you're on to something here, but let's rework it with a more sacred integration of the guilt spectrum:
I'm religious but I fornicate...
1) with wild abandon then suffer from PCGS (post coital guilt syndrome)
2) once my self-flagellation wounds heal from the previous romp
3) only while hog-tied with my grandmother's rosary beads
4) hmm...anyone else have some ideas for a fourth? | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:28:16 PM | bikeman1467 : maybe these are questions you can discuss with your clergy. I don't have a clergy. I'm in the same boat as the OP. I do find it interesting how religious people can pluck vague biblical references and spin them into whatever it is that they want you to buy.
This woman's actions are her own to come to terms with. No doubt, I'm not suggesting otherwise, but I'm looking for insight to how religious people rationalize their behavior while finding fault in that same behavior in others.
"is human to err but divine to forgive"-- that's not Scripture, that's Alexander Pope. But you understand what the word "divine" means, right? So you are suggesting that religious people not forgive others? That doesn't make sense.
The OP is asking for advice when potentially meeting someone they find attractive but they seem to have religious hangups. Not much valuable feedback has been provided for this question. | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:47:34 PM | Perhaps you are looking for love in all the wrong places. Could be their passions overcame their mind or too much to drink. Either way, it happened twice and possibly you like the morals of christian women but not when they include no sex outside of marriage.
Next time, control your choosing and date non-christians or christians that can control their behavior and make you wait. Either way, it won't happen again where they fall into bed and run away screaming.
Or they ran away screaming because of what happened in bed. LOL | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:59:10 PM | Wait - you GOT sex, they left of their own accord and THEY felt guilty afterwards?
I don't know what you're doin' but ya got somethin' right! | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:01:09 PM | | i experienced similar. each reply to email= 1 line of reply and a paragraph of preaching. I told them that i had already been saved and was a believer, so would appreciate learning more of them. never heard from them again. (2) Could be they wanted you too seal the deal with vows | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:07:03 PM | | lol, well Jesus is a pimp man, lol, let me stop being blasphemous. Well you just have to accept the fact that they were not comfortable doing it man. I never encountered this but there was a girl who was into me and she was extremely religious, I didn't try anything with her because I think my ways would clash with her ways, although she was extremely attractive and "tempting". lol | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:13:49 PM |
walks everywhere and drinks a lot of water (he SAYS it's water, but WE know).
Didn't he turn water into wine? Didn't he distribute that to people?
Does that make him a bootlegger? | |
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:52:06 PM |
Does that make him a bootlegger?
Or an enabler I wonder? Or .....could be a co-dependant with BPD w/bipolar/narcissistic tendencies ... isn't that what every second person (or ex) is " diagnosed" with on POF??
Or maybe he's (just) a nice guy?
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| Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:40:36 PM | I’ve been recovering from my Irish Catholic upbringing since young adulthood. I have a neighbor who is extremely interested in my religious beliefs, keeps asking me if I’m saved. Wonder what I should be saved from?
More wars and conflicts have been fought in the name of god, jesus, yahweh and allah, than pure political conflicts.
Sheesh, I think the Hare Krishna’s had it right, the one’s of the 60’s and 70’s who pretty much worshiped the counter culture, peace, love and a little pot and acid.
Anyone who needs to proselytize their religion might be better off doing charitable works.Lead by example. | |
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