| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:15:12 PM | WOT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so there are actually people on here recieving/sending 3 or more messages to the same person...........WOW, what this must actually be like.
Usually i send a message ...................and thats it, it goes no further, they check out my profile and thats about it. END.
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:50:30 PM | I'm plumping for keen and enthusiastic OP
3/4 messages can mean you find out loads about a person, so long as there're proper emails not the usual 'hi how's you?' messages. The basics are there and you get a feel of that person, what else do you really need to know? You can't find out a person's true personality via email, you have to bite the bullet sooner or later.
It's also a good screening for if that person does want to meet- whether it's now or in a while, as opposed to the people here for penpals. | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:18:15 AM | I am one of those people who after 3 or 4 emails likes to meet the person i am talking to
I agree, my intention on here was to meet someone ,not gain a penpal or serial texter.
does enthusiastic come over as desperate?
To some people probably yes and they are usually the ones too scared to give their phone numbers or procrastinate/put off actually meeting up.............. being labelled 'desperate' rather than enthusiastic is a convenient excuse for their own doubts, insecurities and half heartedness Imo.
I understand we all have our own way of doing things and at different paces but I personally never let the grass grow under my feet and chose to pursue only those who were like minded and were in the business of really getting to know someone by meeting up.
Lets not forget you get time wasters on here as you do off here...........theres only one real way to find out what someone is really all about !!! | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:43:19 AM | Yep I think enthusiastic is definatly a more apt word to discribe some of us.
If your serious about dateing there is no reason to be anything else.
However I have managed to scare one or two away before even meeting by my
eagerness so its not for everyone.
You may say that by accepting every offer of a date you will appear desparate
but you have no way of knowing how the date will turn out untill you take that plunge.
And to be perfectly frank I get so few date offers I'd be crazy to refuse any!  | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:49:16 AM | | Yeah just go for it, you dont wanna spend ages talking to someone online and then meet up and it all goes wrong, you would think on how much time you have just wasted online so yeah about 5 messages or something then take the approach to ask her out for a quiet drink. | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:03:38 AM | Depends on the time frame. If the 3/4 mails were all in one day then yes its a bit desperate. If the conversations were over a few days/a week and led to instant messaging then texts then calls then no its not desperate, its a natural progression.
I have met 3 people from here now, no romance but nice guys and I'm glad I went. All had spoken to me in mails on here over a week or so then we went to msn then we texted each other/added n facebook etc, then called then met for drinks. | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:34:13 AM | I think it all depends on the length and content of the emails and different people's preferences.
Desperate is the 2 email conversations I had today (bear in mind I have 'friends' on my profile AND that I plan to leave the area). Went along the lines of:
Hiya, how are you? - I replied
Where in Fife are you ? (and the mans name) - I replied
Picture sent and asked what I thought of it - I replied
What are you doing today? - I replied
So no chance of meeting up?
Second one was even better
Hi, have you had any luck on here? I replied that since I was only here for the forums and I enjoyed them, then I guess I was having luck
Do you want a date? | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:43:02 AM | are you married ? me, no ,
if you are alone i will come to care about you make you happy if you want ,me ,no thnaks my kids are older than you .
Your kids are no problem to me | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:20:16 AM |
I think it all depends on the length and content of the emails and different people's preferences.
I agree.
Isn't it just simply a case of running with your instincts depending on each individual and the content and depth of that correspondence no matter how many messages?
I would rather have one message with substance than ten without any !!
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:50:40 AM | Bearing in mind that I am the most careful of careful people, wary of anything and anyone
Years ago, I had one Instant Messenger conversation with a guy and agreed to meet him. That one conversation lasted several hours, we just had so much to talk about.
Admittedly, being more careful than a careful person, I phoned his work the next day and asked the reception for his fax number - was just checking that he was being straight with me about his name and work. Had arranged to get picked up at my mothers in town rather than my then, isolated cottage and took him to a pub my uncle worked in (well I did say I was careful lol). After that night, I felt at ease. The next night he came to my isolated house in the country and I cooked him a meal.
We were together for 8 years
There is no right or wrong way - just go with gut reaction and instinct. | |
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JTFN
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Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 38 | |
| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:47:52 AM |
This is wierd, what about the saying,, Faint heart never won fair maiden?
Are there any 'fair maidens' on here then.. ??
And i really truly thought most were players.. | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:57:45 AM | I really tried not not answer this post but I simply had to...
Of course there are plenty of fair maidens on POF you simply have not choosen the right ones to messege so far. Your choice in women is hardly our fault.
Again if your experience has been that most women have played you I would recomend you look at your choice in women and maybe try messeging a differant type.
Then maybe you may not hate all woman kind as you seem to do at the moment | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:58:20 AM | | players well probably, and i think a lot of women on here just like the attention, iv spoken to a few who boast about how many messages they have had | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:11:41 AM | Jeez, how come most threads to do with relationshops always come back to 'players'. This was a perfectly good thread and sad gits are trying to turn it in a 'poor me/player thread.
The Op had a good question so try sticking to it.
Yes women like attention and I imagine so do the men. And how is that so different from going down the local club. The married/attached or single women/men flirting with anyone who catches their eye.
Some women boast about how many messages they get, some don't - some men complain how few messages they get, some don't.
The ones who can't deal with it, complain in the forums or on their profiles. Awwww poor bunnies - it's life, like it or not - just fecking deal with it instead of complaining. | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:17:39 AM | | Definitely not desperate but keeping it real. I'm not looking for cyber friends and how on earth can you ever get to know somebody without meeting. Attractiveness isn't about a photo on a website but the way they move, talk, the twinkle in their eye, etc. You can have a brilliant rapport with somebody on here, or even on the telephone, but ultimately a romantic relationship always comes down to physical attraction. | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:49:37 AM | I can quite easily exchange 4 or 5 messages within 10 mins, so I would think that was a bit quick. If you've got a real rally of messages happening, then its usual to let the other one know when you're about to log off. If you give your number or ask for a date at that stage, then I think thats probably a bit more likely to work.
However, sometimes the conversation is stretched out over a longer time frame, like a few days, in which case, if they've been quite long and in depth then that would be fine too.
Make it clear you're not putting pressure on, that way even if she's not ready then she shouldn't just write you off and you might find a compromise between your two different approaches. | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:28:21 PM | I think desperate is the wrong word.
There are those in the real world, over there, where I'm pointing,
who say that anybody on a dating site must be "desperate".
I prefer to think of it as 'lazy', but selective.
And I have actually met a real lady, in real life off here!!
so it is possible, even if you only appeal to a very 'niche' market!
Be enthusiastic.
That's a good thing
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:47:22 PM | Enthusiastic always, god knows who you can meet, it maybe the 1 you want. The getting ready the phone calls the text its all fun,if its not the (((((one))))) they could just turn out to be a good new friend. ENJOY IT
Desperate..... NEVER
I want someone in my life!!!!! i dont need someone in my life i am very self sufficient...........
I know i am a lady and ive never played a person in my life ............. | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:44:36 PM | Well said Gilly!!!!!
Me too, I have a brilliant life but would love to find someone who'd enhance it. I won't jump at every invitation, I'm very selective due to early experiences, I think it's better to take time to get to know someone prior to meeting so don't meet just anyone who asks. | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:08:42 AM | the next one i meet ( if there is one ) i will be spending at least a year getting to know them, i WONT be rushing into anything after the last 5 "relationships" ive endured.
no woman can possibly break my heart if iam single.
i certainly aint desperate, i enjoy my hobbies and in future i will be just as fussy as the women ive encountered up to now.
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:11:08 AM | | whether or not it comes across as desperate or not is irrelevant . If the women hes talking too are cautious or not its irrelevant , you are just as likely to find a good/bad date regardless of how long you have spoken to each other. I personally think there is less potential wasting each others time if you get to the meeting stage pretty quickly. | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:41:40 AM |
i think a lot of women on here just like the attention
Tssssk, how dare they enjoy attention on a dating site!
I'm getting a bit fed up of the number of men complaining on the forums how MOST women on here are attention seekers/players/not genuine/mess you about etc. etc.
If I went back in the game of dating and a man messaged me, and I found out he made such posts on the forum, I'd gladly leave him under that assumption and not waste his time. | |
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