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| How long should we view a profile & what three things do you look for in a person and their profile?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:16:35 AM | Photos often lie (why does everyone rely so much on a tiny representation which may be out of date, airbrushed, of someone else entirely etc etc?). I dismiss those who refuse to consider profiles without photos.
My three things are:
1. proximity (no good them being miles away: I'm up for meeting very quickly, because of my above disdain for the photo).
2. literacy and intelligence. I rely on the profile and quickly dismiss those that are illerate and/or so brief that you can get no idea of who is writing it.
3. Range of interests.
Applying these criteria, I've had a great time over the last year on the online sites. Have met dozens of men, gained a lot of fun and interest and several have become long term friends. Three or four looked set to become serious, and one did for a while.... but baggage got in the way and that's something you can't get from a profile, but is actually the killer, far too often. | |
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| How long should we view a profile & what three things do you look for in a person and their profile?
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:13:45 AM | Hmm, things to look for in a profile?
1, Age, location & height (because I'm a short arse and dating a 6ft tall woman would be awkward!)
2, Personality. A nice profile, rather than something robotic, or worse- only a sentence or so long.
3, Whether or not they have kids. I have kids myself and I'm a family man at heart. I want a partner that can understand and appreciate those constraints.
4, Pictures. No pictures = no view. Though what a person looks like isn't all that important to me, there undeniably has to be some sort of attraction there. | |
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| How long should we view a profile & what three things do you look for in a person and their profile?
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:12:44 AM | 1. Sense of intelligence
2. Sense of humour
3. Location
Yes, a good picture will draw me to a profile, especially if they are good looking! But if their profile is bland or negative, I do not give them another consideration.
I much prefer someone with a twinkle in their eye, or a great smile, something original about them. They might not be the classic description of handsome, but if their profile and subsequent messages are original and keep me interested, I am not bothered about their looks.
Height used to be an issue for me, but after dating a guy who was 3-4 inches shorter than me, I found it doesn't bother me! I loved being with him, he had a great personality and wicked sense of humour and made me feel great, and that's all that matters then!
I don't mind single (part-time) dads at all, but I do find it a turn-off when they suggest our first/second date involves doing something with his kids. Get to know me first before you involve your kids! I have actually seen profiles suggesting for a first date 'I love spending time with my children, so it would be a trip to the zoo with them'. That is just ridiculous. | |
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| How long should we view a profile & what three things do you look for in a person and their profile?
Posted: 11/9/2009 10:08:01 PM |
I spend about 3 minutes assessing this, I dont have time to waste anymore. 41 is looming large
awww SJ When/if you get to 41 and you still single gimme a call, a cute lil kitten like you deserves another like minded cat to play with x.
1; looks... shallow? thats as maybe but its my life, i make the rules, if you dont like it so fcukin what? if i cant stand lookin at her its never gonna get off the ground is it
2; be on a level i can associate with, be it in taste i music, pass times, sense of humor or whatever
3; ... cant think of a 3rd really, my needs are basic, look at the matrix, Neo and Trinity, in the real world they had fcuk all apart from eachother n they made it...
yeah thats what i need, my Trinity!
preferably dressed in her "in the matrix" outfit... but dress is optinal | |
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| How long should we view a profile & what three things do you look for in a person and their profile?
Posted: 11/12/2009 3:14:04 AM | I generally look at things to avoid! After all, apart from explicit statements of things that definitely count people out, how much can you really get from a statement. In that case, the longer the better! Here are some things I look for and avoid....
Seek
1. Similar interests (to a degree) - If I prefer outdoorsy activities and you just want to sit and play xbox, it's probably not going to work.
2. Detail and clarity - If you spend effort communicating who you are, I get a better impression and the likelihood is that you also do the same in other areas - perhaps relationships, who knows.
3. Something unique - Showing me that you're different from the zillion other guys out there who like sports, keeping fit, nights in and out! (I recently read a profile of a guy who races 'modified dinghies' - I had to ask how exactly one gets in to that kind of hobby!)
Avoid
1. Topless pic - next profile! I want to meet a person with a personality - you can look good all you want but if you can't back it up with personality and/or intellect...next!
2. Drugs - a yes or a prefer not to answer usually makes me steer clear...each to their own but drugs are something I can't abide
3. Text speak - I know people may have dyslexia but come on!For those who don't...how much harder is it to type 'ever' than 'eva', 'like' instead of 'lyk'..!
4. Looking for 'girls' - What is the point of selecting LTR when you then say you're looking for girls, plural?...nothing puts me off like a 'playa'.
5. 'I recently got out of a relationship of 5 years...' - that's too bad, even worse for me because clearly you still haven't quite gotten over it.
6. Kids - again a personal thing, I wouldn't completely discount it but when I have kids I'd like it to be a first for both me and my partner. However if you have them, be upfront about it, don't spring it on us later! | |
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| How long should we view a profile & what three things do you look for in a person and their profile?
Posted: 11/12/2009 3:56:01 AM | Well I choose to click on the thumb nail of someone because the I found the person in the photo attractive, sparkly or interesting and sometimes just sexy or fit as.
secondly it is Location, age, kids and whether they want more and profession. It nearly is always in that order and things like religion, education, drinker or smoker just aren't relevant so gloss over that.
Lastly what the profile says and after looking at the first lot for about minute how much longer I spend reading is largely decided here, by how their personality come across, if I think we would be compatible and more importantly how I feel after reading it, do I want to know, couldn't be arsed to read it all because it was boring or the best result in that I am left wanting to know more.....then I mail. | |
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| How long should we view a profile & what three things do you look for in a person and their profile?
Posted: 11/12/2009 6:34:44 AM | How long? As long as it takes! I would spend a week if necessary, as this is quite an important choice!
- Some profiles only have a single line of text, some run to two pages!
Location, Age, Smoker or not.
I can't really narrow it down to only three things though, because I would have to have been attracted enough by the thumbnail to go to their profile and read it.
So that's already four!
Before I start reading the 'body' of their profile, I generally scroll down to the bottom (!)
to see if I'm excluded, and to see how long the exclusion list is.
If they have every exclusion in the book listed, this generally puts me off a bit.
IMO very few profiles for women have enough information about their personalities.
If it says "Wine, DVD, sofa" etc (Probably 25% of the ladies profiles are like this!) unless it says something that makes me pay attention I generally stop reading.
I think it's a shame that they removed the last 5 forum posts as this gave more information.
But apparently only 5% of users use the forum, so 95% wouldn't have that anyway.
I think forum posting should be compulsory!
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| How long should we view a profile & what three things do you look for in a person and their profile?
Posted: 11/13/2009 3:37:11 PM | No more than 2 minutes. I look at the picture if it's fairly clear, then I start browsing South America, and don't bother messaging the ones in the UK, as they just want to chat on the phone/MSN but not go out.
The three things I look for:
1) Over 5 feet 5. Nothing worse than a pain in your neck.
2) Correctly spelt, can't stand bad spelling.
3) A genuine interest in music, like playing an instrument.
Wasting my time on here definitely. | |
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