| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:27:55 PM | | If men would just put out when asked and keep it in their pants when not asked, most of this wouldn't be an issue. : P | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:32:34 PM |
I think (Sex) is something way too personal , to share with a virtual stranger.
I agree....
All too often people fail to see that sex and intimacy are related... otherwise, it's just masturbation using another person as a sex toy....
Then later they wonder why they feel no intimacy with their partner... well, just how special is that intimacy with your real love, when everything you can do with them, to create intimacy, you've done on a hundred or more first/second/third dates with strangers.... | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:47:04 PM | BACK TO THE ORIGINAL QUESTION....
Why people (mostly women) believe that having sex with a guy early on (with her wanting the same way as a guy!!!!!!!) will diminish his interest in pursuing dating/relationship further ??? Fear factor.
I am not refering to the situations when she is not attracted to him per se, not sure at the moment, or has some personal/religious believes, he is her boss (and it is no-no for many), he is under age (no-no too) and etc.
POST 55. Did they tell you that a woman who comes accross as confident, accomplished (in her own way), doesn't act as a whore, act normal may be very much desirable by a man (dating/relationship wise) even if she puts goodies on a table early? Did they tell you that when they back up it has to do something with the fact that they may not be ready, got cold feet, have unresolved issues, still have feeling for their ex and other matters that has NOTHING to do with how early you were in a bedroom?
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:02:13 PM | It's males that have shown me that they won't take you seriously if you have sex too soon
They've not only shown me this by their actions, they've told me this as well
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:19:04 PM | Daynadaze wrote:
Why would I have a sexual attraction to someone I don't know yet? It's good to see someone else asking this question. It amazes me that so many people seem to consider attraction an instant thing. Attraction to what? To an image, to a photograph, to a face? To have an intense and deep response to something so superficial and fleeting seems pretty strange. | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:23:58 PM | | I think I can have sex responsibly. My biggest fears are having sex with someone and then they start calling me 24/7. Ive been with a gir who did that once and I didnt even sleep with her. I can only imagine what would have happened if I did though. That might sound really low class but I think two people should know what they are getting into prior to making love | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:24:40 PM | | ^^^Agreed. Before meeting someone you can only hope you will be attracted, and have a general idea that you want to know more. | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:17:41 PM | Why would I be interested in a woman unless I was sexually attracted to her from the first?
Somebody has this all backwards, and it's not me. | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:26:10 PM |
I think I can have sex responsibly. My biggest fears are having sex with someone and then they start calling me 24/7.
It's not only the sexual risk....
One of my friends got to know a guy online, met him and had instant chemistry , they ended up back at her place...
The next morning, she woke up, he was gone... so was her wallet, her Vcr and a bunch of jewellery and other odds and ends...
So she thought, report him to the police... She "knew" him afterall.... Nope... he was all fake... they never found him....he didn't live where he claimed, he didn't work where he claimed...
And to top it off, he posted her name and phone number in dozens of bar bathrooms! She had to change her phone # in the end... | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:30:56 PM | I adore sex but having come out of a long term relationship I think Id like to be sure before giving myself to another man.. That doesnt dictate the timescale just the relationship.
People generally know when its right between them.
The attraction and trust has to be there - Here is hoping that I know for sure. Men and women can be very convincing and draw the other into a false sense of security.
I think that concerns me more than when sex takes place......Just being sure I havent rushed into anything and end up being hurt.
Sex is very intimate and emotional. Perhaps I just want to be careful with my heart. It is my heart that will broke if I give myself to the wrong man (again lol)
Sexually I could carry on ha ha - If that makes sense!!!!! | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:41:32 PM | Given that sexual preferences and interests can change through exploration, particuarly with a loving and interested partner, it would seem more logical to me to ensure that the personal compatibility were there before assuming that sexual compatability would be a dealbreaker. Slowing down on the sex and focusing on the relationship will pay dividends for most people when sex does become part of the relationship. And you know, love will get you through times of no sex a lot longer than sex will get you through times of no love.
I disagree with that, your underlying sexual interest do not change and you may add things but your basic ones do not change and no amount of love is going to make me want to let someone spread crap all over me and smear it on my lips because my date gets turned on by that.
I need sex every single day so I need to know I am going to get that from my date and again no amount of love is going to save the relationship if my basic sexual needs and preferences are not going being met.
Too much disparity between the sex drives and preferences will kill a relationship so fast, this is why sex needs to be done early so you are not wasting time. | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:55:57 PM | people should not be 'giving sex" or taking it. People should HAVE sex when it feels right to them and their situation and personal standards. Hopefully good judgement and safe sex practices are in play. That's where knowing someone enough to have a sense of their lifestyle and general sexual conduct can come into play, and makes casual sex with a Saturday night bar star not such a good idea.
I need sex every single day
Dude! Every single day? What happens when you are single? What happens if your gf is ill, can't see you,something like that? If you don't get it on a first date, you are done with the woman?
Dude, you are seriously d*ckruled. Sex is wonderful, but there IS such a thing as respect, restraint, wisdom,good judgement and patience.
If a fat chick posted here that she NEEDED to eat 2 dozen Twinkies every day, wouldn't we JUST all be on her like a duck on a Junebug,pointing out how her lack of self discipline was setting her up for a bad outcome!?
Guys like you are one of the reasons women DON'T have sex early on, however much they might want to. How do we know that the "sexual compatibility/disparity in sex drive " isn't just a line from a guy looking for a handy hole to sticj his wiener in...and then to add insult to injury, decide that her hole must have had TOO MANY weiners in it.
Yeah yeah, I know, not all guys are like this...but they are out there.
For myself, I make my own choices and decisions,and where my head(and heart) are at the time, again based on the concept that sex is something 2 people HAVE, not something that is "given" or 'given' in response to pressure or arguments.
yes. Sexual compatibility issues are important, I don't mean to downgrade that premise...BUT...too many insincere "itch scratchers" are using that as an excuse to hit and run.
Cindy O | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:24:07 PM | | Women can go without sex and that's why they do. Men are different. Men will fall over dead from a lack of sex, just like that. Women just knit or read or take dance lessons. Men die of this. Every day, somewhere, by the tens, men drop like flies. The ambulance shows up and they think it's a stroke or a heart attack or the fact he just got hit by a car. No, it was lack of sex. Masturbation counts as sex, by the way, as long as it's consensual. This basic difference between men and women accounts for the largest part of the lackluster approach women take toward sex. Women just don't care because they don't understand, and no amount of explaining that without sex in the next fifteen minutes the man will die has any effect. She will dismiss that as a pathetic attempt to convince her. But then, when he falls over dead fifteen feet out her front door, frozen out even after paying for her coffee, it's too late and the guilt lasts forever. | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:47:06 PM | | One of the reasons I do not have early sex is because I am a very feeling person. My emotions can sweep this normally level headed woman away. When I am just meeting someone I do not want to confuse the issue with sex, but rather take my time to get to know someone and hopefully make right judgements about the relationship. Sex just complicates the issue. Just for the record, I have always had very satisfying sexual relationships and I don not use sex to control, anything but. I have found that if you become good friends and then have sex it is always good. But if you have sex first there is no guarantee that you will be friends. In addition, you have exposed yourself to who knows what. | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:04:28 PM | | I don't "worry" about it but I won't have sex too early with a man because I like to get to know a person better before being intimate. I have to like the guy and if it turns out me and him don't mesh or he isn't nice then I've saved myself a lot of heartache. I like sex and I don't judge people if they have sex with someone early on but for me I have learned from past mistakes its just better to wait. The pain is not worth it. | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:32:29 PM | but there IS such a thing as respect, restraint, wisdom,good judgement and patience.
If my date can't meet my needs then my SO is not respecting me and what I want in the relationship its only about my SO.If my SO can't spend every single day having sex with me then we aren't going to work. Its not hard to come up with a little bit of time each day for that. On the day my SO happens to be sick then it can't wait but if my SO is sick regularly then that's not going to work either.
Children aren't an excuse either to not make time for some nooky for those that are going to pull that one on me.
So again these things need to be found out early because if my basic needs aren't being met I will go and no amount of love will save it.
I guess my view on Sex is different because I view sex as something you do because you are attracted to that person and its not something sacred that you bestow on someone. | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:01:48 PM |
If my date can't meet my needs then my SO is not respecting me and what I want in the relationship its only about my SO.
Respect goes BOTH ways.
Really? You expect a woman to spend every single day having sex with you? You mean she doesn't have a job or any other life?
SO happens to be sick then it can't wait but if my SO is sick regularly then that's not going to work either.
So if she gets a debilitating illness she gets dumped?
Do you remember the old saying about people in glass houses?
Son, I'm sorry to have to say this, truly I am, but your reality checkbook needs balancing.
Cindy O | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:11:30 PM |
Respect goes BOTH ways.
Your right it does go both ways and if my needs are being met I will most certainly meet my SO's needs
Really? You expect a woman to spend every single day having sex with you? You mean she doesn't have a job or any other life?
As I said there is no reason my SO can't take a little bit of time for sex everyday with the person my SO is attracted too.
So if she gets a debilitating illness she gets dumped?
even someone with the most debilitating illness or disability can still have sex in some form so that not an excuse either | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:11:55 PM | | It's hard. I'm a guy, but I've tried to make a commitment not to have sex with women I haven't known for a month, and there was a lot of role reversal. "Oh, let's just cuddle in your bed." I can't believe I fell for that one! | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:21:57 PM |
If my date can't meet my needs then my SO is not respecting me and what I want in the relationship its only about my SO.If my SO can't spend every single day having sex with me then we aren't going to work. Its not hard to come up with a little bit of time each day for that. On the day my SO happens to be sick then it can't wait but if my SO is sick regularly then that's not going to work either.
So will you fulfill ALL her needs too....?
And what if you fail to keep things going due to illness or lack of interest, you're ok if she dumps you for it?
I guess my view on Sex is different because I view sex as something you do because you are attracted to that person and its not something sacred that you bestow on someone.
Yet, you make it sound like it's an obligation to keep you happy... | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:26:46 PM |
I need sex every single day so I need to know I am going to get that from my date and again no amount of love is going to save the relationship if my basic sexual needs and preferences are not going being met.
Hahahahaha
You are hysterical...
If you show a woman enough love and treat her right, you get so much sex you can't handle it all.... If you have to insist on sex to get it, then you've screwed up....
Women are passionate intense creatures, and if you make them happy, and let them feel loved and respected, and that they matter, you'll never go without sex.... Hell, if you treat them well, they'll give you so much sex, you'll take up golf just to have an excuse to get out of bed...
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:03:26 PM |
Yet, you make it sound like it's an obligation to keep you happy...
It definitely is an obligation to have sex with me on a daily basis to keep me happy otherwise I am going to be resenting my So, as it is my obligation to keep my SO Happy but if I am not happy and I am only entertaining my SO's needs and mine are left ignored then its not a good relationship
If you show a woman enough love and treat her right, you get so much sex you can't handle it all....
But will it be the kinda of sex I like?some forms of bdsm, consistent 3somes, good at oral, anal..etc...these things need to be known before I am diving fully into a relationship which means very early on otherwise your wasting your time with me. | |
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| Why to worry about when to give sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:10:51 PM | | ^^^If you require all that daily from an SO, how do you find it when not involved? I know you're not going without while single with that much of a need for it. How do you make up the difference for all this daily between relationships? Do tell. | |
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