| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:59:29 AM |
Maybe next time you might try having a relationship before jumping in bed
I am sure it would have been 10 times harder to end it if he had tried having a relationship first and then found out they weren't compatible in bed??
A guy won't get a second or third chance if we're not compatible on the first. Sex is a very big part of a relationship for me and it would have to be for any future partner too.
You did the right thing OP and I hope you are ignoring her texts... better still block her number! | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:04:16 PM | | Personally, what I'd do would depend greatly on the quality of the rest of the relationship. If that's also lacking in any significant way, then it wouldn't seem reasonable to invest a lot of time in trying to improve things on multiple fronts. If the issues are only sexual, then I would try to figure out the root cause - some can be worked with, and some cannot. However, I am not a therapist or psychologist and can only do so much and am limited in my willingness to wait for significant improvement. It is sometimes better to 'cut your losses' quickly rather than get in deeper and eventually fail anyway. | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:29:42 PM |
Personally, if I did that, I'd be feeling pretty ashamed that I'm not a good enough lover to help her through that....
Oh yeah, one other thing, those might be "ridiculous" emails to you, but to her they might be very, very important... Pretty sad that you dismiss them as "ridiculous".... says a lot about the type of person you are, and why you didn't stick around longer...
Probably part of the reason she can't let herself go is too many guys dumping her after a couple of screws... and it becomes a vicious cycle... the more it happens, the worse she gets and so on....
Some good viewpoints from the other side church. Thanks for showing that.
Although, I still stand by my post that she needs to find out how to let herself go - it will help her. The right partner also makes a huge difference. The first man I was with after I "found" myself was great! He was open, into different things, didn't have an ego, could talk both seriously and in a fun way about sex. It was just lucky it came together at that time. | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:03:52 PM | | It's not wrong for you to have ended it at all. Sex is important. You don't even owe her an explanation and she is being ridiculous to text you and email you in this way. It would have been helpful to explain to her what exactly the problem was, but you dont have to. This may prompt her to deal with these issues in some therapy (as many as 1 in 4 women have experienced some sort of sexual abuse or rape and have sexual blocks). | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:50:53 PM | OP it sounds like you did the right thing.
I think perhaps she liked the idea of having a "boyfriend" and thought she could just act out the motions when it came to sex and you hopefully wouldn't notice or care!!!
Good luck with the next one.................lol  | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:44:52 PM | Wow. You are some piece of work SCD. First, let me start by saying that I also cannot keep track of all your *dates*.
Maybe you would have realized she wasn't as sexual as you if you GOTTEN TO KNOW her a bit before *engaging* in intercourse. You make it sound so clinical. I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy myself either, especially if that's how you talk IRL. You went out a few times and *engaged* 3 times?
End the relationship? What relationship? At least there are a few of us on here that see this for what it is. You've got to be kidding when you act outraged that she is offended and is creating drama. I'M offended by you and I wasn't even involved.
Jeez, there must have been SOME chemistry, I mean, you *engaged* with her, didn't you?
Are you so dense that you don't see it? You thought her to be intelligent and a wonderful conversationalist. You got along well. You do sound as though you just wanted sex. That's what I would think too.
I agree with being honest. It's best to end it now, blah, blah, blah. That's what everyone here is focusing on. True, sex is a very important part of a long-term relationship. You must be with a partner who has as strong a sex drive as you. Finding that out comes with knowing someone. I cannot let myself go with someone I barely know (read - a few dates). She needs to wise up a bit and learn how not to be used.
You had a discussion with her and she said she had this problem before. She opened up to you and you tossed her away. Yet another good reason to wait until you really know someone before you *engage* in intercourse. | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:55:18 AM |
Why do you wear sun glasses at the gym?
All the profile pics stop short of him kissing his biceps.
Other posters on this thread have called him out for a thread he started a week ago about this supposedly sexually-wild woman he was dating, now he starts this thread about a woman he slept with 3-times who is supposedly now 'frigid'.
I think this lady has dodged a bullet with this character, we only have his own postings to go on and they make pretty grim reading.
I would suggest the lady is the one who's been short-changed in the satisfaction stakes. | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:29:48 AM | Lets see.... He is sleeping with the "smoker" the "screamer" and the "fridged"... So what does this make you?????
I was thinking the same thing...........think Op "gets around"...!!
Not to be on OP defense, but he wasn't sleeping with that smoker..Did he?
Oh, hell who gives a fvck..
In this case, I think he did a right thing..Tried three times, sex just wasn't what he expected, and in my oponien, he was man enough to tell her, not just stop seeing her.
Course she is upset, but at least she doesn't have to wonder why.
If the sex isn't satisfying, that would be a big deal for me too.
Of course, there is another side of the coin? Was OP big enough, did he do anything he could to satisfy her? She said she had this issue in the past, did he tried to "cure" her? | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:42:27 AM | Why do you wear sun glasses at the gym?
I wear my sunglasses to the gym because they are prescription sunglasses.
The lighting inside the gym, isn`t so great ,hence the sunglasses.
The sunglass compensate for the bad lighting.I hope that answers your question.
I`m proud that i keep my body in great shape, many of you seem to suffer from drinking issues or overweight problems.
I guess thats why some of you are frustrated and have nothing better to do but to critique others. A few write in cryptic language they only seem to understand,it appears many are extremely dysfunctional!
Some of the men act like they`ve never been on a date or wonder why they aren`t having any luck dating, geez, i wonder why?!
I have to laugh when someone accuses me of kissing my bisceps.. Very funny. Try working out 5-6 times a week.It takes motivation and dedication, something some of I you seem to lack.
I don`t have a problem being attacked by strangers, some are only joking others are quite vicious,which is fine by me. After all this is a public forum. You get what you pay for,which isn`t much..
I`m an adult and find nothing wrong with having more than one partner. Sorry, if some of you have a hard time dealing with adult issues .. That in itself makes me wonder why you ask about the "Smoker,Moaner or anyone else. What difference does it make? I`m truly apologize if my asking questions offends you..
I thought this forum is called "Sex and Dating?"....
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:09:06 AM | north american women, are the laziest lovers in the world, they show no imagination, never take the initiative Hey, Travel... just how many of the millions of North American women have you been with that you are an expert on ALL of us? Generalizations are ignorant. Perhaps you are the one who doesn't stimulate the women enough for them to give a damn. I find it hard to believe that every woman you've been with on this continent is a bad lay. Maybe it was their partner.
To m_church - you made some excellent points. That's for a very intuitive and sensitive post. You really got me thinking and I appreciate it. | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:10:25 AM | dear mr scd
you answers here are no more than i expected... i can see better why this women feels the need to text you 10 times a day....mostly to reply to our remarks...
who would prescribe dark glasses for places with poor lighting. i would expect them to tell you about yellow lenses!.... dark lenses in poor lighting is like asking a sniper to hit a mark at 2000 yards with a dirty scope!
working out 5-6 times a week is a sign of dedication when someone is working towards a goal... in most cases it is just a sign of someones obsessive personality
you do understand that this statement..." After all this is a public forum. You get what you pay for,which isn`t much.." tells us that you would place no value on opinions received here. therefore making me think that you are only here to boast of your conquests.... real or imagined.
also if we are to look at your next statement, or should i say expression of a need to be excepted/loved reeks of insecurities
and as an adult one would expect you to have a mature loving relationship with one woman at a time.... unless of course you had the fortitude to inform these ladies that you are not able to bed only one woman at a time....
yes this forum is entitled "sex and dating" and as such is intended for mature adults! may i suggest that on the next visit to the gym....you seek advice on increasing the power of blood flow.... yours seems to stop at the neck....
but do enjoy the sun! | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:25:57 AM | Dog,
Thank You..
Is there any reason why you have no photo on your profile page? After all we`re all adults here as you`ve just mentioned.
I noticed you`ve been lurking on pof. com since 08.
It`s so easy to criticize someone when you`re hiding. That in itself shows a sign of true insecurity... Is it because you`re obese and overweight?
Battlefield? Actually, i consider it a discussion. I see you`re very sensitive. The moment someone responds to you things change.
tasting the wonders around me
Interesting motto.
Wonder why?
Have a wonderful day...
BTW: Montreal is a beautiful city. Own property in Waterloo. Very nice area. | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:36:45 AM | scd!!!
another offensive attack launched on a empty battlefield... i am neither bald,fat,ugly or stupid...and i am not hiding! i would tell you the same thing to your face... assuming you were not sitting on it at the time...
enjoy the fantasy | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:12:57 AM | {{{{I`m an adult and find nothing wrong with having more than one partner. Sorry, if some of you have a hard time dealing with adult issues .. That in itself makes me wonder why you ask about the "Smoker,Moaner or anyone else. What difference does it make? I`m truly apologize if my asking questions offends you.. }}}}
Your acting like a dog. You are sleeping with more than 2 women at a time. Then coming on here complaining about them. I feel sorry for these women. If they knew this is what you do they would be the ones ditching you. My opinion is that you really have no respect for women. Its one thing asking a questions about dating but talking about the sexual side and their performance is "just bad". Cut it out!!! | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:25:15 AM | | There are some women here who have more than one sex partner and who post in the forums about their sex lives. They don't seem to be guilty of acting like dogs. Or maybe they are, but somehow escape the admonishment. What POF needs is a page where people can post their sex videos for review, so we can all watch and decide who needs to improve how. If you get a new partner, show us how they do in bed and we'll advise you on whether they have the potential to be well trained and worthwhile, or if they seem lacking in talent and would be always substandard. Like the profile reviews only for sex partner auditions. | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:36:19 AM |
Wow. You are some piece of work SCD. First, let me start by saying that I also cannot keep track of all your *dates*.
Maybe you would have realized she wasn't as sexual as you if you GOTTEN TO KNOW her a bit before *engaging* in intercourse. You make it sound so clinical. I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy myself either
op while I agree sex is VERY important and you should have compatible sex drives.
The above poster makes sense. If this wonderful lady has not been in a sexual relationship in a while, some patience could have been needed and then Kaboom!! | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:33:17 AM | | scd instead of attacking another poster, why didn't you explain the situations? My guess is that a poster or two hit you dead on and this is why you didn't explain. imo it looks like you hopped into bed with a smoker who was a lousy lover. Hopping in to bed with out a mental connection ie caring about someone isn't a good thing in my book. But please read my previous posts because I sincerely do believe you can't be with someone that doesn't rock your world. But sleeping with someone right away, I can't imagine how they could. | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:51:18 AM | For her, I think it's a relaxation issue. Reassure her that you're not going to hurt her but are totally attentive to her feelings and are here for her pleasure, and try, try, try to get her to completely relax and trust you.
This woman's been burnt in the past, is extremely sensitive to the least little thing (which can be wonderful), and has put up some huge walls to be torn down, if she so chooses. I dunno...you've got your work cut out for you in this one. Just try to reassure her that you don't want to hurt her, but that you have your own desires too that need to be met (and articulate what they are, and that they involve a bit more passion and enthusiasm), and maybe you two can work through this. | |
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| How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:02:53 AM | i just reread your post... you got me wondering... what part of montreal did they move waterloo to...
just hope you are more careful with your properties than your women.... it is a pain when all your life is misplaced... | |
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