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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:34:43 PM | | It's also simplistic to just relegate sex down to two impulses. Wars have been fought over it; people traded for it; politicians voted into power because of it - and brought down by it as well. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:07:16 PM | pfft, I actually agree with you "old man" .... only cause really....
Men are sick, just cause one guy comes on here and
says "I will never have sex with a woman i dont love" doesn't mean
every other ***hole that rides on this spinning world doesn't
have meaningless sex with a new girl every night of the week,..
Girls are stupid to believe that, and if he ACTUALLY doesnt have
meaningless sex..... welll your gonna spend the rest of your life trying
to prove it to alot of women, because believe it or not....
ALOT of girls Daddy's have their daughters armed with knowledge..
about boys,... common now, lets be serious.... im 18 and i know that!!! | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:39:40 PM |
Movie......dinner.........anal sex under the moonlight.
Wow, DIVISION77....you are SO romantic! Once again though, you gave me a good chuckle.
I learned somewhere that women like to "talk" about feelings, while men like to "show" feelings...and what better way to do that than through sex...although women seem to think that these feelings always mean "Hey I really like/love you..and I want a long term relationship where I will always be loyal to you forever." When really men can be expressing even just the most basic feelings such as "You're hot and you make me horny" or "I love my best friend so I am taking one for the team so he can have your hot friend"...it's women's job to gauge what a man is thinking by the things he says, does, and doesn't do....and then decide whether she can accept that as the reason he wants to have sex. I would say most of the time the feelings he is looking to "express" are not I love you...they go from each end of the spectrum though.
Women seem to think that just because a guy can or wants to have sex with them, that they MUST like/love them...so then they invest too much emotionally and end up being let down when he doesn't call back and then they become jaded and meet someone who ACTUALLY likes them, but then they mess it up by withholding sex because they never learned to "Read the signs!"...
Any men want to point out some signs that he DOESN'T like/love you, and has some other predominant feeling he is looking to express? | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:52:56 PM | | I'd like to add that even at one point a guy can actually say "I like you, I miss you, think about you every day." but then the next day he could change his mind. Yesterday is history and he is not the same one you knew yesterday. So it's important not to hold on to the memories and not to raise expectation from what you've heard. Consistency in actions...the only thing trustworthy!! | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:10:33 PM | It's also simplistic to just relegate sex down to two impulses. Wars have been fought over it; people traded for it; politicians voted into power because of it - and brought down by it as well.
Awesome poetry expresses it, world's greatest novels almost always involve it, if not center upon it, and in some of us, it challenges that reknowned self-preservation trump card on a daily basis. Lol
I arrive bedside with all I've got, from the driving need to to impale her, to the noblest hopes that our souls will hover, entwined as I do. Oh, and of course, the sugarplums.  Maybe some can offer a la carte emotion menus, but I don't come by the slice, and I don't expect her to, either. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:41:12 PM | | You can definitely tell the different between "making love" and "having sex".... because the feeling isnt their from the appropriate person. Is it right not to have sex before you love someone, i cant answer that because ive done it, and at the time it felt right, and i might have thought i was in love but later realised if i was it was a one way stream.... will i do it again.. i dont know. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:47:11 PM | And the claws come out... some women can be so predictable. I will now collect my bets.
Sigh...soooo much attention....
Read Divison's last post. #118 It's from a man and there are other posts that men have said similar.
If a man is into you and he values you, you can bet he will do anything. This is all that I have ever known. Have you?
FWBs.....pffft! Queen Victoria...hahaha! Mmmm....is royalty allowed on here? (checking my tiara...)
FFS...if you can PROVE that I have been engaged three times in the past year, then I bow down to you....otherwise you have a very pretty shade of green on your face
AA....lol...I like your observation... Gosh...can't resist.  | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:48:23 PM | Hello Goodewitch,
im new to all this forum stuff, and i really dont know what im at here!! Any pointers would be appreciated!! | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:51:32 PM | There already is a way to measure love. You have to perform 2 easy steps:
1) learn about the person staring back at you in the mirror. No one can fall in love with what they don't know much about. The more you know about yourself, the easier it is to find out if the other people claiming to love you...even know what they are in love with.
2) learn to respect that person in the mirror. Then you have personal experience in judging how other people treat you--is it respectful, or do you have to go online and ask strangers to find out?
As you can see, you can't really sell this. It isn't a skill you get, its a skill you create.
Arabianangel: I suspect women have fallen prey to social whims, more than men do, b/c its a patriarchical society, not a maternal one. So, women have farther to fall. Also, in older days, and still in some societies, a single female won't get the wealth, property, etc on her own unless inheirtance laws work in her favor. So, perhaps commitments are also more of a weight upon women than on men. But in a modern age, this isn't so much of an issue. So, is it just a "nature" carryover, rather than "nuture" carryover? I suspect....its still in the chemestry of MANY, but not all, women. But that's a tangent for another time....
I suspect, a woman who creates a bond, doesn't need to change that part of her nature. I suspect, she should actually look for a man who can easily create it, and won't have to change her nature. But that would mean, give up on the hot boys, the exciting boys, the ones that need to be won over. If a woman honestly seeks an emotional commitment, NOT what an emotional commitment GIVES HER (ie a feeling of being worthy of love, of no longer being the ignored child, etc etc), then there is no need for her to change herself...she just naturally finds good fits. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:56:16 PM | LUST attracts me to him to get to the stage of dating. We are adults, if we decide to have SEX then that is ok with me. Combine dating and sex that might lead us to something long term. During the long term relationship that might lead us to LOVE.
Love has to come from somewhere and it is not enough if you base it on ya good nature, personality, or intellect. However, they are as important to stablise a great connection. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:44:22 PM |
If a man is into you and he values you, you can bet he will do anything
but if I hold him in equal regard and value, why would I be continually be putting up hoops for him to jump through, ignore him while he's standing on his head, and some of this other malarkey you advocate.
This is all that I have ever known. Have you?
What I have known is being respected and valued as a human being as well as a woman. In the few situations where that wasn't happening,I ended the situation.
As for #118, I don't think he was agreeing with you.
I would respectfully disagree that all you've ever known is men who are into you, value you and would do anything for you...again, we aren't supposed to bring up other threads or other posters' previous incarnations, so I'll just leave it at that.
I don't know about royalty, but I do know that royal pains are allowed here, because I can be one of them. And there are few others with good memories and ability to spot stuff that doesn't add up right.
Anyway, I don't think that sex and love should be a "versus" situation. Or that they cancel each other out. In the best of situations, they are equally balanced and work harmoniously for the most part. But yes, it is certainly possible and not a hanging offense to have sex without LOVING the person you are having it with. And I'm fairly certain( because I know people who are in these situations)that sometimes love is in action and sex is not.
Cindy O | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:47:10 PM | Why...I have been in love with every man that I have had sex with...  | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:41:45 PM |
Why...I have been in love with every man that I have had sex with...
If the conditions are just right, love has been know to hit like a 24hr flu.... | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:00:04 PM | If the conditions are just right, love has been know to hit like a 24hr flu..
Are you kidding me? If you take thera-flu, it will be more like six hours...  | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:44:40 PM | AA...
Whatever answer I give you will NOT change how you start viewing sex...My only advice would be is to let go of the fear...you may not think you have fear, in fact you'll package it nicely to make it look like good morals...I'm not condoning bed hopping with strangers, but changing your mindset by NOT equating sex to love will help reduce the emotional attachement that you have after sleeping with someone...and if all else fails just don't sleep around....
Fear also has it's place in our lives, our psyche and our basic self-preservation. It is there for a reason.
Here are some quotes by our illustrious forumites from past threads on fear:
BDJ~
Fear keeps you alert. Fear keeps you sharp. Fear keeps you from leaping before you look.
So in a lot of cases, fear benefits you in ways you can't quite fully appreciate. I'll just use one example to illustrate. Take motorbikes for example. I love motorbikes in general. I would LOVE to own one. However, I know myself and I know my limitations, so in that regard I also know that I wouldn't live 3 days after buying one.Fear keeps me from being stupid. Fear keeps me from thinking "it won't happen to me".
Outmind ~
But first let's look and our primordial emotions" Flee, freeze, fight.
This are the consequences of the different degrees of fear, or lack of fear. The most decorated soldier of the Second World War, I can't remember his name, I think it was Murphy, said that what drove him to do what he did, was fear. He used his fear to confront his enemy. He said he didn't have the bravado of other men, or the guts of other soldiers and he acted to survive and to keep his men from being killed. He was a man that in his fear, what he did was project fearlessness.
The fearless most of the time throw caution to the wind so they end up harming themselves and harming others. Yet, it is fearlessness what allows a man to win a race, go across an ocean, think rationally on the eve of battle, so he knows when to dock and cover and went to charge.
The fearful do nothing.
The purely fearless are people that crash and burn and die.
But the those that understand the balance and project fearlessness like Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay, are bold enough to be the first to climb Everest, and to then use their influence to build hospitals, schools and to change the world.
Psst~
To walk through life fearlessly puts oneself and other's in danger. Fear keeps us grounded.
Fear keeps me from being stupid.
Yup... fear and a dose of common sense which is unfortunately not so common.
Truly... I fear a fearless person.
Overall...it's IDEALISTIC to have NO fear and jump into sex with a person you don't really know, but is it realistic and having common sense?
If we look back at the condemnation against women throughout history, we may just come to realize that women and men are evolutionally wired in the exact same way when it comes to sex
Not true. Not all women over the ten thousand years was oppressed. Most of those years women were treasured. Organized religion is fairly new in the scheme of things and it was organized religion that was mostly at fault for instigating the idea of guilt. Nature looks after her own and she makes sure that we females have a strong desire for sex as that enables the continuation of the species. There is nature's steadfast rule. The survival of the fittest and the strongest. We are attracted to the protectors, the strongest and fittest males. That is widely accepted in all scientific levels.
As far as wired exactly the same way. Not.
We are still of the animal kingdom regardless. All males and females in EACH species have different drives and rituals. The males want to copulate.....young and old. The female is selective in who she wants to copulate with. He has to be strong, smart, bold and protective. Sometimes she gets raped by a male that she doesn't want...but that happens in our society, too. There are few exceptions to the female rule. But..only a few.
The adage that males use love to get sex...and females use sex to get love is very alive and well. In our human culture there are females who use sex two ways: Jump into bed and hope for a relationship after the fact....or waggle her cute little azz, make him chase her, court her until he caves in to a relationship just to have sex with her.
Mother Nature DOESN'T care how it's done!!!!! As long as the SMARTEST and the STRONGEST gets the job done. If the girl with the cute lil' azz got a protector and a provider with her antics to help raise her babies, then maybe she is the smarter.
The one that is still using sex before any courting? She's still looking for that protector/provider. Her babies are hungry. The men that she copulated with are out sowing their oats.
This is ten thousand years of conditioning. If you think that our little 30 year revolt is going to change things like right now...you have a long way to go in understanding what life is about.
No wonder everyone is confused about what they should be doing.
Guilt??? I am thinking that when wrong choices are made...and the man goes MIA after the copulation...that horrible sinking feeling you have??? It's another little gift from Mother Nature. It is telling you to smarten up and make better choices.
What I am saying is going against the prevailing winds on this forum...but..so what.
Everyday there is a new thread (before deletion) about a woman who was badly done by a man. She feels used. Well..she probably was. But..it is her bad choice to let it happen without getting to know him better.
If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck...it probably is a duck.
If you feel you have to disassociate yourself from your emotions to have sex with a virtual stranger...then there is something wrong. Emotionless sex just so that you won't feel guilty or used is pure crap. What a way to live. Is this what we are now saying is PC??
I'd rather do it the way that I have always acted. It seems to bring me much happiness in all levels of a relationship and my man is also happy. Very happy. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:21:50 PM |
To walk through life fearlessly puts oneself and other's in danger. Fear keeps us grounded.
Fear keeps me from being stupid.
Yup... fear and a dose of common sense which is unfortunately not so common.
Truly... I fear a fearless person.
Fear holds us back from taking risks. Without risk there in no reward. I find fear to be a limiting emotion. I think it forces us to set boundaries for ourselves, and leads to a life of mediocrity. Sometimes you just have to take chances, and do away with fear.
And yes, that includes taking chances on people too! Obviously, while including your powers of deductive reasoning (common sense doesn't exist anymore).
Make smart choices, not based on debilitating emotions (apathy, grief, fear, hatred, shame, blame, regret, resentment, anger, hostility) but on the good ones like: interest, enthusiasm, laughter, empathy, action, curiosity, etc.
FEAR is NOT a good thing. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:00:58 PM | There is a wide chasm between rote, emotionless sex and love. To say sex can only be one or the other is extremely narrow minded and lacking in imagination, for a start.
To also say women are somehow morally bereft or emotionally stunted because they can enjoy sex for simple physical pleasure and release reeks of inhibitions, is judgemental and lacks emotional intelligence, to me.
Women are not the only ones who can be hurt by a sexual relationship which somehow failed to meet their expectations. Rigid definitions of sexual roles can mean lives half-lived. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:21:06 PM |
Fear also has it's place in our lives, our psyche and our basic self-preservation. It is there for a reason.
That’s the kind of stuff religious fanatics want you to believe. Don’t get me wrong G, I’m not fearless, my biggest fear is something bad happening to my kids …I think this is probably the only fear I have at this point in my life…I think the more you fear the less you live.
Guilt??? I am thinking that when wrong choices are made...and the man goes MIA after the copulation...that horrible sinking feeling you have??? It's another little gift from Mother Nature. It is telling you to smarten up and make better choices.
Do you think ‘mother nature’ would still be as generous if you went into it without any expectations? :)
This is ten thousand years of conditioning. If you think that our little 30 year revolt is going to change things like right now...you have a long way to go in understanding what life is about.
I believe when you’ve been through hell and back life forces you to understand it quicker than you expect it to. I don’t claim to understand all of life nor do I have an answer for all of which I’ve seen and still see….but seeing I can’t change men I have learned to do what makes me happy, I don’t deny that there are times where my traditional upbringing pulls at me to notice it, I don’t deny that my old patterns/thinking sneaks up at me only to thrive when it knows it’s succeeded in giving me guilt …you see, I’m aware of all of this, but I choose to do what FEELS right for me.
I use to fear approaching men, in hindsight it was nothing more than a fear of rejection…after reading one particular thread it occurred to me that it really was just fear even though I labeled it ‘tradition”…I decided to approach one man over 8 weeks ago at a local bar, this man and I are still dating..And I sometimes wonder if the real excitement is this gorgeous man or if it’s the victory that I feel for having faced my fears…either way I am happy.
When I stopped caring about being judged I no longer felt the need to judge others...strange but true. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:43:55 PM | ^^^^^^ I just realized that I should have been responding to Belle Lass not Goodwitch...oops!
Girl, go do what you do best...argue with Verity! | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 3:32:12 AM | I make love with a person who I care deeply for.
NOTHING can compare to that.
I can have orgasm by my self better and more often than with just a body I have no feelings for.
I don't do FWB nor do any of my friends. My choice nit judging.
Together love and sex..Nirvana
Geez FFS green with envy over anyone? Not likely. Look at her, read her posts..
Girl, go do what you do best...argue with Verity! *snort*
op You have to live with yourself and your decisions whatever they may be in regards to any part of life.
If people are with people because of just sex, so be it, but they should both be aware of what it is or isn't about. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 3:51:35 AM | | I personally, cannot just be a FWB as it is called. Just something about swapping body fluids that makes me care about knowing someone's last name, where they have been and what they mean to me. Some people are fine with it; some are not. Almost went there, and it just does not work for me. Sometimes I "feel" I see why people do it, but when it comes down to it; I can't. I am not judging either; everyone can do what they want. I just choose not to be the one in line at the clinic, and feeling like crap. My body is my temple and it is not an open stadium. I do not care WHAT excuse people have (I have heard them all), screwing like that is asking for issues. And really, fkn a "friend" is a great way to ruin a "freindship". If there really is one there. Something about crossing the line with sex and "friends" that kinda bothers me. Maybe because I respect my friends; and they respect me. I do not care how open the "friendhip" is...it makes things really, really weird. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:18:45 AM |
I think the more you fear the less you live.
Took me a little longer to learn that, but right on, darlin' !
Geez FFS green with envy over anyone? Not likely. Look at her, read her posts.
Couldn't agree more with you, PP, and that seems to be true of most of your posts. I've been reading FriendlyFreeSpirit's offerings for almost a year, and her screen name is most apt, the earthbound epitome of nurturing, with an abundance of "emotional intelligence". Yeah, looking at her is veerrry easy, but so is chatting with her, absorbing her words- there is no shrill in her voice, and the vitality in it is a full measure. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:07:16 AM |
When I stopped caring about being judged I no longer felt the need to judge others...strange but true.
Is it true????
Girl, go do what you do best...argue with Verity!
AA..most of the time I respect what you have to say, even if I don't quite agree with the philosophy behind it sometimes.... because you allow others to have their opinions, too. Isn't that what makes the world interesting and forums interesting?
This somewhat snarky comment... is it a hypocracy? Seeing it came on the tail of a defensive comment like I quoted of you in the first line of this post?
In my post, I did not get personal with you. What you do is your choice.
Everyone tries to do what feels right for them, but we are an evolved species that has all sorts of interesting "messages" that alert us to certain possibilities. Everything from a whole range of emotions, to feelings, intuition, and common sense. Put all of those in balance and listen carefully to ourselves and most of the time we are steered right.
If you feel that you have steered right for yourself, then I am all behind you. I hope that this amazing man treats you right as you deserve.
Re: FFS...did you find the times I was engaged three times? Do you have enough dignity to admit that you were being catty for no other reason that what I have to say in these posts bother you? If you take what I say in these posts so to heart that you make comments like the previous personal about me, then do you think I hit a nerve?
Please examine that.
Re: Division's previous post. Pardon me. It was post #110. The last two lines.
This comes from a man and I have found that many men have this sentiment. Wrong or right??? Who cares!!! It is a reality! It is in our real lives NOW. Deal with it.
Your IDEALISTIC brand of sexual "equality" won't be happening for a few lifetimes yet...if you believe in social conditioning. You cannot ignore evolution.
If you want love now...deal with the now. That is where we live in. It may not be to YOUR liking, but that's the game on the table today. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:36:26 AM | I find this stuff fascinating.. from the post:
My body is my temple and it is not an open stadium
Now.. from the profile:
I am a fkn horndog..... If I cannot imagine my ankes around your neck, it goes nowhere.
Women.... | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:59:24 AM |
In our human culture there are females who use sex two ways: Jump into bed and hope for a relationship after the fact....or waggle her cute little azz, make him chase her, court her until he caves in to a relationship just to have sex with her.
Holy Moses on a Jet ski!
So where in this asswiggling load of 1950s crap, do MANY of the men and women of the 21st century fit in? Like the strong smart woman who is capable of protecting and providing for herself,but would like a loving relationship or even a solid serious dating involvement. Does she have to settle for being a boinkhole, or does she have to turn into an asswiggling ditz seeking an opportunity for what HAS been referred to by some as "legal/socially approved prostitution"?
I guess it's bad news for the many good men who are short, average, or have a challenge( like guys in wheelchairs, how about some of our sons and brothers who are coming back from serving our country,with life altering injuries...oh well, I guess the only way they get to have sex is with prostitutes,right? Because they may no longer fit the classic "big strong handsome protector/provider". Of course since we are just animals, shouldn't we be killing, or at least abandoning pack members who've become 'liabilities'?
No wonder everyone is confused about what they should be doing. I seriously doubt that "everyone" is confused. I know I'm not, generally speaking.Of course just about everybody runs into situations or finds themselves dealing with people that are baffling,but I don't think you can say everyone is confused.
If you feel you have to disassociate yourself from your emotions to have sex with a virtual stranger...then there is something wrong. Emotionless sex just so that you won't feel guilty or used is pure crap. What a way to live. Is this what we are now saying is PC?? OMFG. Where the HELL do you get this idea? Oh wait, that's right, sex is the only tool YOU have,and YOUR survival hinges on having a male to protect and provide for you. Any woman who is comfortable enough in her own sexuality to enjoy sex without having to have an ironclad COMMITTMENT,undercuts the effectiveness of your 1950s "strategy". I don't think any woman here is advocating "emotionless" sex, promiscuity,ONS,FB...but some of us are saying we are FINE with sex that isn't part of a "tool" or 'strategy' to obtain a male partner that our insecurity dictates we need for social validation. If a guy turns out to be a charming 'get the goody and run" we aren't "devastated" or "gutted". We were simply AWARE that crap like this CAN happen. We dust ourself off,tell ourself that "God WILL get him for this someday" and GET ON with our lives,without over reacting.
Fear holds us back from taking risks. Without risk there in no reward. I find fear to be a limiting emotion. I think it forces us to set boundaries for ourselves, and leads to a life of mediocrity. Sometimes you just have to take chances, and do away with fear.
And yes, that includes taking chances on people too! Obviously, while including your powers of deductive reasoning (common sense doesn't exist anymore).
Make smart choices, not based on debilitating emotions (apathy, grief, fear, hatred, shame, blame, regret, resentment, anger, hostility) but on the good ones like: interest, enthusiasm, laughter, empathy, action, curiosity, etc. Absofreakinlutely.Don't be brainless and gullible,of course,and respect your gut feelings,but when it comes to dating, sex,love,relationships,etc you have to realize that you can't always control the outcome.(Unless of course you sit on the sidelines of life and do nothing because you might get used or hurt. This goes for men, too. No guts, no glory.
There is a wide chasm between rote, emotionless sex and love. To say sex can only be one or the other is extremely narrow minded and lacking in imagination, for a start.
To also say women are somehow morally bereft or emotionally stunted because they can enjoy sex for simple physical pleasure and release reeks of inhibitions, is judgemental and lacks emotional intelligence, to me.
Women are not the only ones who can be hurt by a sexual relationship which somehow failed to meet their expectations. Rigid definitions of sexual roles can mean lives half-lived. or even less.
I believe when you’ve been through hell and back life forces you to understand it quicker than you expect it to. I don’t claim to understand all of life nor do I have an answer for all of which I’ve seen and still see….but seeing I can’t change men I have learned to do what makes me happy, I don’t deny that there are times where my traditional upbringing pulls at me to notice it, I don’t deny that my old patterns/thinking sneaks up at me only to thrive when it knows it’s succeeded in giving me guilt …you see, I’m aware of all of this, but I choose to do what FEELS right for me.
another excellent explanation!
I personally, cannot just be a FWB as it is called. Just something about swapping body fluids that makes me care about knowing someone's last name, where they have been and what they mean to me.
Oh fer pete's sake. FwB is SO NOT about fvcking someone you know nothing about. In what was probably my most genuine FwB, I not only knew his last name, we visited each other's homes,helped one another, worked together sometimes,I met his dad,even. I think what happens is men who just want NSA sex, one night stands,etc, call these things FwB. This is NOT what a real FwB is.
Maybe because I respect my friends; and they respect me. I do not care how open the "friendhip" is...it makes things really, really weird.
So what you are saying is that having sex with a man requires an ABSENCE of respect? "Relationship" allows sex but thereby precludes friendship and respect?
Re: Division's previous post. Pardon me. It was post #110. The last two lines.
This comes from a man and I have found that many men have this sentiment. Wrong or right??? Who cares!!! It is a reality! It is in our real lives NOW. Deal with it.
Your IDEALISTIC brand of sexual "equality" won't be happening for a few lifetimes yet...if you believe in social conditioning. You cannot ignore evolution.
If you want love now...deal with the now. That is where we live in. It may not be to YOUR liking, but that's the game on the table today.
D77's comment...
I tend to think that most men want full rewarding LTR, though.
The initimacy involved with a woman who is yours is much different than someone who is only a FWB.
Actually, in my personal experiences and observations, IN MY AGE RANGE, I have found far more men looking for sex with no or limited strings, looking to get their itch scratched, etc,than guys looking for true LTRs. That doesn't mean that there AREN'T guys looking for longterm committed relationships, or that I(or any other woman my age) has to give up anything or accept/settle for less than what she wants,in the long run,but realize that,unless she wants to date among the geriatric men looking for nurses and purses,she IS going to encounter many damaged men,many men who have rebuilt their lives and aren't willing to disturb that in order to accommodate a "full relationship". But because men ARE,generally speaking, able to enjoy sex WITHOUT a bigass 'emotional connection', may of them are out doing Adventures in Modern Dating,ONLY in aid of getting sexual relief/comfort. I mean no aspersion, judgement or condemnation with that statement. Some men are upfront and truthful, some will lie, some will just look for women who believe sex=love/committment.Some even lie to THEMSELVES, and end up as a serial relationship man. Again, I am NOT saying all men, or all men over 45, are just looking for p*ssy however they can get it without having to deal with 'serious dating' or 'committment'. But it's fairly common.
It may not be to YOUR liking, but that's the game on the table today
I don't know who this was directed to, but speaking for myself,what's not to like? I live and love as I see fit, and try not to become angry and overreact if something doesn't go as I'd hoped. I don't feel that I have to use sex as bait to gain a protector and provider...because although having a loving life partner would be wonderful, I don't need one for survival or social validation.
I don't deal in "games".
Cindy O | |
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