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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:59:51 AM |
I think the more you fear the less you live.
Very true. Just like in anything. Moderation is the key. You also have to have some fear as I outlined before to make good judgments in life...not to hamstring you.
I have lived a mostly "No Fear" life and sometimes I have had to learn some painful lessons. I like challenges.
I have taken the risk and went with my heart more than many people on here...and lived a life that I can relate to my grandchildren in stories and photos when I am 80.
I can write a book on my experiences in life and they are more than most have had.
It goes with being attracted to fun, energetic, restless, fearless men who wanted to experience everything life has to offer. They also have the money to do it.
I just hung on to the seat of my pants and went with the exhilarating and sometimes scary rides. I, too can be an adrenalin junkie.
Too many people on here are judgemental and makes me wonder why some of these women can be like this when they like to say that they are "modern" women. I just see a few old-timers in some kind of FWB that they have convinced themselves is fine. Blancmange lifestyle. Wise Ones who live their lives vicariously through others and make judgements.
Is that fear holding them back? Afraid to go and get what they really want?
Interesting the response that I got from these "Modern Millies" women when I told them what my S/O said to me when we first met. They all needed their smelling salts!!
I wasn't shocked at all. I have been told this kind of thing in it's various forms quite a few times over the 1/2 century I haved lived. A man that is attracted to a woman sexually can pretty much do and say whatever he wants. I liked his honesty and directness. He didn't make the crappy and silly other kind of lines that tells me he has no confidence. I think I have heard them all. 
What matters is how I handle it. I didn't act like a offended Miss Purity needing my smelling salts. I didn't act all offended because I feel I am a Princess. I didn't act all moonie with a sloppy grin on my face in appreciation of his comment.
I simply stared at him and then gave him a smile that showed my teeth....and then told him to pi*ss off.
He laughed....and then it was a battle of wills for a few weeks. Emotion and adrenalin can be bonding, too. I am not saying drama. That is different. We got to learn what each other was made of and came to respect each other in a way that some people never reach. I think that is my common denominator with all of these kind of men. I don't roll over easy....but for some reason they want to stay in there with me.
Go figure.
If it works for you, do it. If it doesn't work for you and you keep getting in the same old trenches, then I suggest a change. Fear can be why some people get stuck in a certain mindset and cannot see anything different. Fear can be why they make nasty comments to someone else who has taken risks or risen to the challenge.
Edit:
I met his dad,even
How exciting for you!!!!!! A milestone in the life of FWB! | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:10:01 AM |
I find this stuff fascinating.. from the post:
My body is my temple and it is not an open stadium
Now.. from the profile:
I am a fkn horndog..... If I cannot imagine my ankes around your neck, it goes nowhere.
Women....
Careful. That's not a woman, that's a Russian "Woman". If the two of you meet in the streets my money is on Sweaty.
Meanwhile back on the topic, I don't *need* a connection, but it sure does make the boinking alot more fun if there is one.
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:41:22 AM |
How exciting for you!!!!!! A milestone in the life of FWB!
Milestone? Pfft. How lame of you to try and get in a dig by taking PART of something I wrote as an example of a GENUINE, functional FwB, to another poster who seems to thing "FwB" means promiscous sex with strangers.
Like I said, I remember other posts in other incarnations where what you were doing WASN'T working,where you were struggling with men who were 'thumping you' for your '"oldfashioned" viewpoint on sex and dating.
Interesting the response that I got from these "Modern Millies" women when I told them what my S/O said to me when we first met. They all needed their smelling salts!!
I wasn't shocked at all. I have been told this kind of thing in it's various forms quite a few times over the 1/2 century I haved lived. A man that is attracted to a woman sexually can pretty much do and say whatever he wants. I liked his honesty and directness. He didn't make the crappy and silly other kind of lines that tells me he has no confidence. I think I have heard them all.
So you wouldn't KNOW what to do if a man just came up and started a polite and intelligent CONVERSATION with you? Every thing to you is part of some "game".
Smelling salts? Yeah right. I was happily married for a long time. I'm single because he died. I've had subsequent relationships,dating experiences, FwBs,etc. I can't complain,by and large. But I have NEVER, even from guys looking for booty call or a one night stand in a bar, had a man come out and make a sexually explicit comment such as described. Hmm, maybe because it's clear I'm a LADY,in public?
Sorry, Bellyache...
A man that is attracted to a woman sexually can pretty much do and say whatever he wants. So then sexually explicit remarks in public places, are an accepted norm in your world? If we were to take THIS part of your commentary out of context,it sounds like you are saying that date rape is also acceptable?
A man that is ATTRACTED to a woman as a total person, will do and say what is respectful, appropriate,and that conveys his interest without being blatantly sexual.
I can't figure out how a woman who felt that the supposed prevalence of FwBs was impeding her quest to find a committed relationship, can turn around now and say that it's OK for men to make explicit sexual remarks, in a public place, to a woman he doesn't know,just because he's attracted to her sexually?
You live in a VERY strange world that I ,for one, have difficulty believing exists.
Cindy O | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:06:40 PM |
I don't *need* a connection, but it sure does make the boinking alot more fun if there is one.
You guys are probably right...
When I've got a hold of her hair and I'm "boinking" her from behind and she's yelling "oh fk me baby fk me".. I'm always thinking how much more fun it could be if we were in love.....
I wonder how many of these guys that have this "connection" are fantasizing about other women while they are "boinking" the woman they need a connection with. I know..... none of them would ever do that...  | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:12:30 PM | Cindy O...
Most defensive. Hmmmm....
As for the
where what you were doing WASN'T working,where you were struggling with men who were 'thumping you' for your '"oldfashioned" viewpoint on sex and dating.
I am with the same man. Please do get your stories straight.
He was trying to wear me down with the "cards" that men play to get early sex. That is one of the cards. It didn't work on me. He had to find others. They also didn't work on me.
Now....he's happily in love with me...and sees me for a quality lady who doesn't get taken in by the common man's cards that shame, manipulate and guilt a women into early sex....or FWB sex.
Edit: Watch the personal stuff? Name-calling? It shows that you are not handling this well.
The Mods have their rules.
I think it's a strange world that you live in. FWB, FB sex is strange to me. I agree with you there. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:16:16 PM |
OMFG. Where the HELL do you get this idea? Oh wait, that's right, sex is the only tool YOU have,and YOUR survival hinges on having a male to protect and provide for you. Any woman who is comfortable enough in her own sexuality to enjoy sex without having to have an ironclad COMMITTMENT,undercuts the effectiveness of your 1950s "strategy". I don't think any woman here is advocating "emotionless" sex, promiscuity,ONS,FB...but some of us are saying we are FINE with sex that isn't part of a "tool" or 'strategy' to obtain a male partner that our insecurity dictates we need for social validation. If a guy turns out to be a charming 'get the goody and run" we aren't "devastated" or "gutted". We were simply AWARE that crap like this CAN happen. We dust ourself off,tell ourself that "God WILL get him for this someday" and GET ON with our lives,without over reacting.
As clear as it gets! 
Bella....I really don't know where or what in my post you found offensive, it was a cheeky comment not meant to be nasty at all! ....I had no idea your earlier post to me was out of sarcasm, perhaps it's because I didn't expect it. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:17:30 PM | Ok..I am not talking to anyone individually, just in general.
Maybe its just me, but why have sex outside of marriage? Isnt this just asking for trouble? Maybe I see this as smacking of greed and greed rules the world. Greed for money, power, sex. If this is all that a relationship means, then why bother? Why is sex the #1 priority in a relationship? Why is there so many divorces? Most everyone is divorced at least once. I don't get it! Why not save something for marriage? Whats wrong with being celibate? Why take a chance getting a disease, getting preggy, getting whatever? I know there are a lot of questions and few people can give me a really good answer, one that doesn't consist of "because it feels good" kinda thing which in itself alerts me to selfishness. Sorry if my post offends anyone. Thats not my intent. Lins  | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:29:08 PM |
Maybe its just me, but why have sex outside of marriage?
Lindsay
For younger people who want to raise families, this is an excellent point. Remember here though, there are people who have been married,raised their kids, and may NOT be looking for marriage. Should they then have to forego one of life's little pleasures?
Nobody here( for the most part) is advocating meaningless sex, unprotected sex, or promiscuity. But not all of them have marriage and reproduction as their dating goal.
Cindy O | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:32:07 PM | My usual comparison is that sex and love are like chocolate and peanut butter. Explosive combined, but completely able to exist as whole on their own.
If you give sex to get sex, you should be ok (provided what you give and get are equally good).
If you give it to get anything else - you're at risk for a discrepancy and someone is likely to be resentful, or get hurt. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:45:02 PM | Watch the personal stuff? Name-calling? It shows that you are not handling this well.
The Mods have their rules.
I think it's a strange world that you live in. FWB, FB sex is strange to me. I agree with you there.
What personal stuff? What name calling? the little play on your screen name? What was that about defensive? Whatever else I may or may not have done or been, I don't run crying to some "protector" when someone in the forums disagrees with me.
Yeah well, strange world, I'm the one who's single by death do us part. I would certainly know how real love feels and how it works should I be so blessed as to find it again. I also know how to enjoy sex without it having to be a step in a "strategy". Yes, ideally it's part of a loving relationship. I do not promote or encourage no strings sex, one night stands or f*ckbuddies. But I do know and understand that GENUINE 'friends with benefits' involvements can have their place in the life of a self possessed,independent thinking adult, at times.
edit
If you give it to get anything else - you're at risk for a discrepancy and someone is likely to be resentful, or get hurt. Then you have a history of failed relationships, anger, hurt, drama, stress...and this is better HOW?
Cindy O | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:57:09 PM |
Maybe its just me, but why have sex outside of marriage?
Oh to be so young again...
Someone once said that the true meaning of life was to simply enjoy the passing of time. Sex is certainly a great way to enjoy the passing of time..
You seem to want to attribute sex to the success and/or failure of marriage and relationships. Relationships are far more complex than that and that is something you will get the chance to experience first hand. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:13:12 PM | by the common man's cards that shame, manipulate and guilt a women into early sex....or FWB sex.
WTF? A genuine and functional FwB( or love affair, if you want to go back to the 50s) is SO NOT about shame, manipulation or guilt!
But some people just really don't like sex, I guess,and therefore associate sex with 'shame' and 'guilt' unless it is providing them with security, validity and social approval that some women only know how to get by being under the care and protection of a man. But I guess some people just never learn to think for themselves,either. To my thinking, there is what's a "shame".
Do not misunderstand me, I am in no way downgrading marriage and committed relationships, or promoting mindless sportf*cking. But it can be possible to have sex...and enjoy it...without it being part of a "real relationship" or a mistaken belief that it's a 'strategy' to make a relationship happen.
Cindy O | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:19:24 PM |
by the common man's cards that shame, manipulate and guilt a women into early sex....or FWB sex.
Manipulate?...I don't believe anyone can manipulate you into anything you don't want to do. The shame you speak of only happens when you get let down by your OWN expectations. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:32:39 PM |
Manipulate?...I don't believe anyone can manipulate you into anything you don't want to do. The shame you speak of only happens when you get let down by your OWN expectations.
Amen AA! FWB is supposed to be an arrangement between two already friendly and close consenting adults that know they can handle such an arrangement to AVOID dating or relationships for their own personal reasons. Instead, a lot of people agree to such an arrangement thinking they can turn it into something else.
Those people make their own beds. Don't blame that on the arrangement, blame it on the people who try to make it something it isn't. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:36:29 PM |
onlythis wrote:When I've got a hold of her hair and I'm "boinking" her from behind and she's yelling "oh fk me baby fk me".. I'm always thinking how much more fun it could be if we were in love.....
 Great visual. ~Beth~ | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:21:37 PM |
Oh wait, that's right, sex is the only tool YOU have,and YOUR survival hinges on having a male to protect and provide for you.
Sigh....the things that people remember...and the things that people forget. Selective?
You are assuming and projecting. I have never said that I wanted this man because he is providing for me. I am very self-supportive and have been for a long time. I have lots of tools to attract a man besides sex. That is why he is still here in my life. That is why I do what I do. To use all of my attributes including intelligence, disposition, looks, personality to have him consider me as a relationship/marriage prospect....rather than just sex. Sex? I can get anyday...so can he. An over available commodity.
That takes time getting to know the person in depth on all levels. Just having sex to try and make a relationship happen doesn't cut it unless all you want is sex. "Shrug" to each their own.
I do like the protectiveness. It's cozy. Makes me feel so feminine. Hmmm...
effectiveness of your 1950s "strategy".
Using silly cliches for argument purposes is .....laughable???
Sooooo.....what was life like before 1950? Before 1940? Before 1900? Ummmm...let's see...before 1825??? Can I pick another date? Oh shucks! Let's go all the way back to BC5234. What was the basic pattern of male/female dynamics from BC5234 to 1960??
I will give you three guesses. Then the revolt!!!! What we feel inside from over 10,000 years of innate information is now deleted like what you can do on a computer? Oh, jeez! Everything pink was deemed awful...plus a whole bunch of anything else that was female. By some Ominpotent who decreed being female was just a horrible thing to be. That omnipotent wanted to be just like the boys! Well....what if I and bunch of others liked being female??? Was that so wrong? No, it wasn't and isn't. There are alot of men who like being male and feeling male....and they understand females.
I don't think any woman here is advocating "emotionless" sex,
You did just that in your post. Here it is.
But I think you can train yourself to be more prepared for the instances of bad sex partners( whatever that means to each individual person),therefore sustaining LESS pain,harm, disappointment, whatever.
This is all encompassing. I have heard many variations of this.
Woman (talking to herself): "OK..I am horny. Just horny. I have no expectations. Shut the emotions down. If he's an azz during or after we have sex, then I won't care. I am in charge of my sexuality."
The guy who promised her a lusty night gets in there and...the pig!...
Woman moaning to her best friend the next day: "He only kissed me once, got his hand in me for a few seconds and then put his weinie in and was finished in less than a minute. Then he apologized, got up and got dressed and left!!!"
I just had this story given to me the last weekend. I told her that she didn't get used. It would've have made her feel worse than she already did. She only knew this man from 2 dates. Apparently it is quite the norm out there. I just shook my head....and thought how lucky she was that she didn't end up behind a dumpster. I also thought how much her self-worth was going to hold up after a few of those. Oh, yeah, that's right. I forgot. She was supposed to have turned her emotions off before, during and after.
That makes for really good sex....NOT.
AA...My post to you wasn't out of sarcasm. As I said in my post to you, I have alot of respect for you and you have certainly always given food for thought.
As for the manipulating cards. They are real and some are very good. In an ideal society, people DON'T get manipulated. They are smart, saavy and sharp.
In real life...sadly...they do...the UNWARY, the TRUSTING, the GULLIBLE believing that all of current trends or thought processes are right. The worst ones who are easily manipulated are the ones coming straight out of long marriages. They are like babies...
Life can be hard on them as I have seen with my friends over the years.
You can only bandage a broken heart so many times. Then it is forever scarred.
Also of note: It has been proven that women are emotionally connected with sex.
I am so interested in modern sexology that I am going to take a course in it. I am very scientific minded.
Spirituality is nice as it gives us a conscience.... | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:29:04 PM | | where are you going with this, love is an emotion......... sex is an act, now making love is different, you confused??? you can be in love or love something, no sex required. I love fishing never tried to shag a fish ain't going to start either. You can have sex with a total stranger or hooker, indeed to can just shag you wife of 20yrs and not make love to her........... pretty easy to know which is which. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:34:22 PM | You are assuming and projecting
Seems to be your stock answer when you have no other rebuttal.
Just having sex to try and make a relationship happen doesn't cut it
Well you might know that better than I do. I've ALWAYS known that it doesn't work.
I'm sure that other women here naive enough to have gone down that path also know this. Got anything NEW??
Well....what if I and bunch of others liked being female??? Was that so wrong? No, it wasn't and isn't. There are alot of men who like being male and feeling male....and they understand females. I happen to like it too, I don't feel like anybody's STOPPING me,or that it's wrong. I LIKE being female. But I would never presume so far as to say I "understand" males...'cause I DON'T. But I love them( in the larger, 'love of mankind ' sense) and that's all I know. It generally all sorts out for the best.
I don't think any woman here is advocating "emotionless" sex,
You did just that in your post. Here it is.
But I think you can train yourself to be more prepared for the instances of bad sex partners( whatever that means to each individual person),therefore sustaining LESS pain,harm, disappointment, whatever.
This is all encompassing.
Ahem... the wording was " LESS pain, harm,disappontment"..as opposed to women you've spoken of, who were devastated, gutted,crushed by a dating /sexual intimacy situation that failed to yield the desired outcome. This has nothing to do with "emotionless" and everything to do with selfconfidence, maturity and personal serenity. But possibly those concepts just don't exist in your personal comprehension.
Woman moaning to her best friend the next day: "He only kissed me once, got his hand in me for a few seconds and then put his weinie in and was finished in less than a minute. Then he apologized, got up and got dressed and left!!!"
LOL...the vVERY RARE occasions where I've encountered a man who was such a pisspoor lover, I was glad he left, and didn't lose a minute of sleep over whether or not he ever called me again. Except usually he did and then , since usually he didn't DESERVE unkindness, I had to try and deflect him without being mean.
Shut my emotions down? Hardly. But I've learned how to keep them real. Part of that is avoiding pure sportf*cking...a nuance of sexual intimacy that some women just cannot seem to grasp.
As for the manipulating cards. They are real and some are very good. In an ideal society, people DON'T get manipulated. They are smart, saavy and sharp.
In real life...sadly...they do...the UNWARY, the TRUSTING, the GULLIBLE believing that all of current trends or thought processes are right. The worst ones who are easily manipulated are the ones coming straight out of long marriages. They are like babies...
Yes, quite often there IS a learning process involved when someone comes back into dating. Unfortunately not everyone handles it well...they retreat into ancient paradigms, which I imagine can be MADE to work if they try hard enough. And I mean them no disrespect as long as they don't get up on a soapbox and keep insisting that the whole rest of the world is f--ked up , that their way is the ONLY way. I'm not telling all women to go out and participate in sport sex, or anything else they don't feel right about. I'm just saying that, (provided they are not stupid or careless about it) having a short term sexual fling, FwB,or even if they happen to get drawn in by a hit and run guy isn't going to brand them with a scarlet letter and it damn sure isn't the end of the world. When women figure that out, then they don't NEED to moan to some alleged friend about how they were wronged and disappointed. I'm not saying that they aren't impacted at all, but the distress is not devastating, and the bad taste in their mouth doesn't have to become a permanent bitterness.
You can only bandage a broken heart so many times. Then it is forever scarred. Y'know...part of the conditioning of an animal or human athlete involves intentionally doing micro damage to muscles, bones, ligaments. While I'm certainly NOT advocating that women get into sport sex or other meaningless liasions, a little bit of wisdom and self acceptance/self confidence could go far to strengthen that heart so it doesn't get so often broken. Just offering that as food for thought, and to clarify that I'm not advocating (nor condemning )"emotionless" sex as an ongoing dating style.
Also of note: It has been proven that women are emotionally connected with sex.
Again. Tell us something we don't all already KNOW. But if a woman keeps repeating the same scenario of having sex on first or 2nd dates thinking it will create a "relationship", and if she cannot modulate her bonding/emotional connection,then she isn't LEARNING anything! She probably IS better served to put poor kitty in a lockbox until she finds a man who will offer committment,either because he loves her, or because he can't get laid any other way.
I'm not advocating the absence of emotion, I'm advocating the presence of rationality.
Cindy O | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:02:52 PM | Cindy, you are overreacting....
Seems to be your stock answer when you have no other rebuttal.
Continue to read the very next words after I said that you are assuming and projecting. It's in the the same paragraph. I wish you wouldn't stretch the truth into a lie. It's not playing the debate game properly.
everything to do with selfconfidence, maturity and personal serenity. But possibly those concepts just don't exist in your personal comprehension.
Ahhh....back to being personal.
I will tell my friend that she shouldn't think he used her. She should feel self-confident, maturity and serenity after an episode like that.
You are lucky to not have experienced something like that. Every woman that I know of who lives a high risk lifestyle has had that kind of experience. In fact, apparently it's more common than you think. Most women won't admit it. I find out these things when we have an intervention with a very hurt friend. We reveal all. It is a great sisterhood that we have.
Selfconfidence, maturity and personal serenity?? I have it in spades. Want some?
Y'know...part of the conditioning of an animal or human athlete involves intentionally doing micro damage to muscles, bones, ligaments.
Keep digging yourself deeper. lol.... | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:55:46 PM | I have never said that I wanted this man because he is providing for me.
No, you didn't exactly say that...but you cranked out a lot of rhetoric about how females use the lure of sex to secure 'the best' males to provide for and protect her,and her offspring. How do YOU like it when someone twists or misquotes what YOU say?
Interventions with hurt friends? Revealing all? You call this "sisterhood"? I'd call it bull....but I don't want this thread to get yanked, because there are lots of other posters here who have expressed excellent insights, and I'd like to think that some clarification of what "Friends with Benefits" truly is...not just a term misused to disguise meaningless sex with people you don't even like(What in pluperfect HELL would be the sense of doing that, except for some horndog who'd f*ck the housecat except she hid under the couch)?
Y'know...part of the conditioning of an animal or human athlete involves intentionally doing micro damage to muscles, bones, ligaments.
Keep digging yourself deeper. lol....
Did you read and comprehend that entire passage? I doubt it, and you are the one with the shovel. The entire passage referred to a conditioning process that can probably be applied to one's emotions as well, thereby reducing the concept of the broken heart covered with bandaids...but as long as these poor women keep setting themselves up to get hurt,while other females tell them how dumb they were and sex isn't to be enjoyed unless it's under the "right circumstances", the pool of embittered women who hate men and sex will grow.
Yes there are men who are just out to get laid. Some of them will be honest, some not so much. A lot of them will just let a naive woman set HERSELF up. You either learn to be a little smarter,and enjoy your dating and romance experiences, or you can retreat in fear to a set of rigid rules that may one day get you into a relationship...or may leave you on the sidelines making believe.
To the original topic...the reference a few posts back to peanut butter and chocolate was an excellent analogy. The title "sex versus love" implies that it's an either/or proposition, and I pretty much believe that most romantic pairing interactions are not all one or all the other.
Now, as to any debate, I'm reminded about what I was taught by my debate team coach, which that it's wrong to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
Whatever philosophy of sex and love you adopt, someone out there is going to disagree with you. Probably the only way you are going to come up with paradigms that work for you is to listen to your own heart, brain and instincts, treat the experiences that don't have your desired outcomes as valuable lessons, not crushing blows that cripple you so much that a sisterhood has to throw you an intervention.
To me it all sounds about as effective as a guy with a big belly and a short-never mind!
Sex and love are very rarely polar opposites.
Cindy O | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:01:20 PM | Dear Romantic,
How did you fall in love with someone before having sex first?
It seems to me love and sex come in combination. not one without the other. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:09:58 PM | WOW.......I've finally reached the end of the novel.......must say it was quite entertaining. Discovered intelligent people here ...some women on here that would really perk my interests if they were only closer...but alas.
Oh yes I almost forgot :
I can't have sex with someone I don't love.
To the fella who wrote ^^^^^: BS......you just haven't met my neighbor...
JMO.....which is probably worth only 0.02 cents in the big scheme of things.... | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:17:51 PM |
Also of note: It has been proven that women are emotionally connected with sex.
Like every time they have sex? And this is proven by whom? You? Case studies? A poll of a hundred or so women?
Let's not generalize here. I can't say I am always emotionally connected with sex...heck, sometimes it is a purely physical phenomenon. Maybe I just wasn't a part of this proof...wherever it is you got it from.... | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:19:36 PM |
lot of rhetoric about how females use the lure of sex to secure 'the best' males to provide for and protect her,and her offspring. Most of science accepts that "rhetoric" as being the way it has been for thousands of years and now is innate in us. Why? Are you more knowledgable?
How do YOU like it when someone twists or misquotes what YOU say?
Where have I done that? Everything you say is cut and pasted and if I feel it's to be challenged, then I will. You have that assumption/projection disease. I don't.
that cripple you so much that a sisterhood has to throw you an intervention.  Never had one for me and possibly never will. Why? I am happier than a clam. Read my posts.
Gee, Cindy...do you want to have the last word? Then go ahead. I am getting bored with this. You are not even as good as verity. I like sparring with him. His mind is quite keen. | |
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| Sex versus love
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:21:15 PM |
Dear Romantic,
How did you fall in love with someone before having sex first?
It seems to me love and sex come in combination. not one without the other.
Indeed! Situations where there is good reason to believe that love is highly possible, or at least a strong affection and friendship, would be the best ones. However, there is certainly nothing wrong with other scenarios, provided that all concerned are on the same page, and nobody is letting their imagination run away with them.
Cindy O | |
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