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| What is it with men & sexually liberated women
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:24:50 PM | I suppose it wasn't realistic to have any men admit to this.
Admit to what? That we all fear a "sexually liberated woman"? Sheeesh! Maybe your premise is faulty. I suspect that fear and loathing of the overstated promiscuity of males is a far more deep-seated inhibitor of far too many women.
Maybe it is me, maybe I do pick the odd wrong un, probably why I'm single now cause don't want that drama again.
If you make it clear, not simply verbally, to your "choices", that you are looking for a match for an energetic, varied, and full-throttled monogamous relationship, I suspect that there will be a looooooooonnggg queue of avid males at your door, and perhaps that is the purpose of your OP.
Seems a few women get what I'm talking about though.
Some of my fav lady posters have shared some experiences with you, but you are too quick, imo, to dismiss the contributions of the men here. There are unanswered questions from some, dangling forlornly, about what more precisely you mean by "sexually liberated". Perhaps you don't get that "sexually liberated" is one of those stretchable phrases, albeit it hackneyed, and to offer a sound response, some clarification of the question is needed. The first poster offered the "trust" issue, which seems to go to the core of your question; and the liberation of the gender has a myriad of facets, the sexual mechanics being a fraction of the whole. We all understood you to be seeking perspective, not admissions. 
I'm only guessing, but I suspect that my version of sexual liberation would wrap around what little you have offered so far more than a few times. And ime, it is women who are the more hesitant to explore, even to discuss adventuring in, this sphere.
Just one man's offering, OP. And I certainly make no requests for admissions here. | |
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| What is it with men & sexually liberated women
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:17:15 PM | | I think your observation is correct and shows that many men have control issues when it comes to relationships. On one hand, they like sexually assertive women. On the other, they still struggle with an old-fashioned, predator/prey view of man/woman relationships and fear strong women. I am not sure what the answer is. | |
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| What is it with men & sexually liberated women
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:39:25 PM | Op i agree with you in most cases, thank goodness there are some men out there who don't feel that way.
In my previous relationship he was always jealous and making accusations. He said he was never like that with his previous wife. I have to wonder if it was because she was very prudish and unsexual and he was confident she wouldn't seek out anyone else, but because i liked sex maybe he was worried that i liked it so much i'd look elsewhere? I always wondered where his jealousy came from, maybe that was it!
Sexually liberated women are for having fun and good times with, not serious relationships. The men with this type of attitude are the ones who marry the sexually inhibited/uninterested women and then moan for the rest of their lives that they aren't getting any sex.... | |
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| What is it with men & sexually liberated women
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:49:40 PM | | I don't think sexually liberated equates to infidelity at all. I am certainly liberated..and no man of mine has ever had to worry about me sleeping around, nor did they worry about it to my knowledge. One psycho crazy guy whne I was 18 -19 excepted..but I did not sleep around on him either; he just always thought I did (bagger at grocery store, waiter, neighbor, boss, friends, etc..I would have had no time for anything if I had slept with half the people he thought I did, lol) | |
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| What is it with men & sexually liberated women
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:00:31 PM |
I'm going to say sorry for generalising but in my experience men dream of a woman that is sexualy liberated. Once they get one and a relationship develops the paranoia and accusations set in and they start to think that the woman will sleep with anyone.
Are you looking for opinions, or just want to continuously rephrase you thoughts on the topic?
Paranoia is usually part of mental illness or psychiatric disturbances. Are these the type of men you attract? In a well balanced relationship, each partner accepts and embraces the other for who and what they are. I've never been in a relationship where accusations, without basis, were an issue.
Sheesh, sometimes you find what you are looking for. Sometimes the vibes you put out there are what you get back.
Good luck. | |
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| What is it with men & sexually liberated women
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:43:37 PM | I think if you deal with jealous guys, they would rather you be a "closet slut" that's wholesome.
Actually I think a woman could cure their jealous boyfriends if they basically scoffed at any guy who talked to them and ONLY looked at him 100% of the time... and the only time she'd talk to guys would be with his friends, and any conversation remotely close to sex & dating would be about hooking them up with friends she's got.
But in the real world, jealous guys will like to meet and date a sexually liberated woman. But her margin of error on being social with others narrows BIGTIME, I imagine, and then he wouldn't like it so much. | |
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| What is it with men & sexually liberated women
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:30:19 PM |
I'm going to say sorry for generalising but in my experience men dream of a woman that is sexualy liberated. Once they get one and a relationship develops the paranoia and accusations set in and they start to think that the woman will sleep with anyone.
What are peoples views on this?
My view is that you are pulling it out of your arse.
I like sexually liberated women. I have found that for every sexually liberated women there are at least a score who simply pretend to be because they think it's impressive to say it, but deep down they are quite conservative sexually.
You, for example, refuse even to talk with anyone who wants an intimate encounters which, by the way, is the only category here that mentions intimacy. You haven't the slightest inclination to be sexually liberated. I think you just want to fake it so that you can blast men. | |
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| What is it with men & sexually liberated women
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:46:54 PM | I think the OP needs to be more specific with her meaning of "liberated". I tend to think in the lines of cougars, women who were sexually oppressed in their marriage and those who suddenly discovered the "slut" side of their sexual expression.
Liberated from what? (as previously asked)
Part blame may be due to some mens insecurity. On the other hand, some women take their "liberated" feeling too far when in relationships. Meaning, they may lose perspective on what constitutes respectful behaviour in a relationship.
I was with a woman for several years who was very assertive and expressive (not liberated) sexually. It was something we both enjoyed immensely. But, she did not feel the need to express her sexuality in public. As a result, I respected her as opposed to mistrusting her.
Some women use their Liberation as an excuse to behave immaturely in front of others - and at the boyfriend's expense..... that's not flattering, in my opinion. | |
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| What is it with men & sexually liberated women
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:31:23 PM | | i dont want a modern day sex and the city liberated girl, i frown on both genders about being cavalier about sex. i want a modest girl, not necessarily a virgin but a girl who feels intimacy is well, intimate, not a hobby. send these desperate house wives watchin liberated girls to another country, and ship in some modest more traditional women who dont know what casual sex and fwb relationships are, ones who value themselves and their body more than handing it out like a scooby snack. anytime a woman uses liberated or independent as an adjective i shun away, not being that being independent is bad, just that type is usually high maintenance and a head ache. | |
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| What is it with men & sexually liberated women
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:10:20 AM | bwana217,
I have found that for every sexually liberated women there are at least a score who simply pretend to be because they think it's impressive to say it, but deep down they are quite conservative sexually.
I totally agree -- and vice versa, too. Many women will say they're very conservative sexually, complain about guys wanting one thing, then shortly after them mentioning what their favorite color is, they're ripping your clothes off. I think in both cases, it exposes a common human element that can go a bit too awry -- when people believe they ARE who they WANT to be. Huge difference.
That extends into what women (and guys I'm sure) SAY they want vs what they DO want in the opposite sex. So much so, they believe it 100%, but it's not the case. Rarely do people tend to solely refer to their history of behaviors and desires when single at bars, online, or other social environments and judge their tastes on what they've always gravitated toward... it might be a glance at best, but mostly little thought put into it, because they think it's 100% obvious, when many times, their beliefs on what they actually do want can be off-road. But that's a whole other argument. :)
You, for example, refuse even to talk with anyone who wants an intimate encounters which, by the way, is the only category here that mentions intimacy. You haven't the slightest inclination to be sexually liberated. I think you just want to fake it so that you can blast men.
Well, I do have to defend her on that point, though. You can find some women who have a profile craving random sex but put a "Must Not" for intimate encounters, solely to root out crazies (it being their opinion).
But I will say that to complain that most men are that jealous like that... That is over the top, and I think she knows they're not all like that. I think maybe she does things that should get a guy pissed (rightfully jealous), or she just likes guys who tend to be the jealous type (a package deal that goes with her "type"?). | |
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| What is it with men & sexually liberated women
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:09:15 AM | oh no....To me a sexually liberated woman means she knows what she wants and knows how to treat a man...as for the sleeps around thing....would be double standards and in this day and age....wouldnt be good...besides if the two are adults and the least bit honest...each know where the others comming from.... | |
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| What is it with men & sexually liberated women
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:28:58 AM | This wasn't meant as a dig at ALL men, far from it!
It's just that I have had a few longterm relationships with men that are eager to have an active sex life and some experimentation but it comes back to bite you on the bottom. As soon as they have what they profess to want it then becomes a stick to beat you with.
It is a trust issue but when a woman has a full time job, kids and a relationship there isn't much time for anything else. In this day and age with the electronic tagging device that is a mobile phone I would have thought these irrational behaviours would have lessened.
And there is a big difference between being confident and being a slut. | |
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| What is it with men & sexually liberated women
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:01:04 PM | | I am very happy to be in a long-term relationship with a sexually liberated woman, and there aren't any issues of trust or control or guilt - quite the contrary. Having been in a long relationship with a sexually inhibited and controlling woman, there is really no comparison and I don't want to go back to that!! | |
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