| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:35:35 PM | Haha, Curly,
Thanks for the compliment on the pic.
Glad you could finally use that line. It's a relief to let something go after holding it in for so long, dontcha think?
I don't just single you out. I merely respond to the posts that I'm most interested in responding to; be they yours or those written by someone else.
Yours seem so heartfelt, that they are sometimes hard to pass by without an aknowledgement of some sort. | |
|
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:49:45 PM | Yours seem so heartfelt, that they are sometimes hard to pass by without an aknowledgement of some sort.
I am going to take that as a compliment.
They are heartfelt.
Its not wrong to want some kind of revenge. Our egos are huge, our hearts
are even bigger. They shrink every time someone pulls a fast one on us and we
miss it because we are blinded by our love for them. | |
|
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:39:52 PM | All the bickering between lovers baffles and disturbs me.
No one has mentioned it, so I will.
For the duration of the relationship, you love the other person.
The relationship is terminated.
For the duration of the rest of your time on the planet, you hate the other person.
Right.
I have a better idea.
Allow yourself to continue to love the other person.
If you don't, you never did.
It's more comforting, years later, when you think back to how you reacted to things.
Love is eternal.
Unconditional.
Before you come back at me with mockery or disparagement: I've been abandoned in marriage, twice. 8 and 27 years.
Both exes are friends, both with me and each other.
I talk occasionally with them. It's the only way I would have it.
I still love them both. I never tell them.
They think I'm just swell.
I sleep well, thank you.
 | |
|
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:04:09 PM | | sure it is. your letting him win if you give in to those urges. Can't list any reasons to back up that statement... that would be useless, bucause it's so mater-of-fact. | |
|
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:17:48 PM | I didn't go outta my way but things do come back to bite you in the a$$...
I am flying off to Florida for Bike Week...the very same thing he did to me only difference...
I won't LIE about going...
Revenge is sweet!  | |
|
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:56:08 PM | What you are failing to see is that she is now YOU. He will treat her the
same shitty way and leave her the same shitty way.
Curly...
However, I still occassionally have this urge to seek revenge on him and make him pay in some form for what he did to me..Is that wrong???
Dunno if its wrong. I honestly dont know... cos Ive never felt the need to do it and the thought has never entered my head
Ive had opportunity and never taken it.
Since Ive never gone out of my way to deliberately hurt anyone... nor interfered in anyone's life cos Im more introverted and private...
I figure if somebody's done *something* to me... it means there's *something* wrong with them.
Not the other way around.
I had somebody directly revenge me for something they only *thought* Id done
Doubt I could live with the guilt of doing it anymore than I really understand it
... cos ultimately... somebody doing something like that tells me one of two things...
... either they're pretty f*cken seriously unbalanced
...or they're hurting sooooooo bad... cos they love you
Allow yourself to continue to love the other person.
If you don't, you never did.
Actually I agree with this... and yet
...it almost exacts its own revenge does it not?
I mean... how difficult would it be to hear somebody you love say... that after everything....
... you'll never have the opportunity to hurt me again
... and I still love you more than you can imagine...
| |
|
| |
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:23:58 PM | | No sweetie, it is not wrong. I wish I could tell you some of the things my ex did to me. All I could think about was revenge ON HER first and then him. I was so ANGRY ! I was with him for 7 years. Its natural when they hurt us to want to "prove to them what they did to us was wrong". They are a different breed honey. They will never see that they were wrong. Revenge and Karma are a 2 way street. Don't do it. Let him go and leave your thoughts of him behind too. I know it hurts. It hurts like hell. You are your own beautiful person who deserves a beautiful life with someone who can see who YOU really are. Men who cheat are hollow. It seems easy for some one to say "forget him". I have been there, own the t-shirt and threw it away. Lifes too short. Revenge is ugly. We are not. Time does heal wounds when we can let them go. | |
|
| |
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:48:09 PM | he cheated.... you dumped him!
you got more revenge than you think....if you want more revenge enjoy your life, and don't think about him. | |
|
| |
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:03:59 PM | In a situation like this you have to ask yourself one question. What would Don Corleone do?  | |
|
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:52:09 AM | No, it's a natural part of hurt and healing, imagine it, laugh your butt off and then do nothing. He will get his and that is the best revenge you can get.... OR..... go on with your life, enjoy it and one day he might call and realize what he lost and then YOU can tell him sorry, I have no room in my life for you and I have moved on see ya, that my dear is the best revenge.
I pray for the ones who crap on me, they are dishonest and are in need of prayer, let the Lord deal with them.  | |
|
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/9/2009 8:12:09 AM | Good topic as I wonder the same thing myself.
It's been over a year and I still get wound up with hate at my ex. I want nothing more than to see her suffer for the things she has done/did.
Within the next month I get to file a civil suit against her for a substantial sum and I am eagerly anticipating the day. I know she doesn't have the money for it and the judgment will likely end up going against her new fiance's house that she will have homesteaders rights on.
That day will be better than Christmas for me. | |
|
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/9/2009 12:12:16 PM | It is understandable and part of the human condition, that we are angry when we are 'betrayed' by someone close to us.
Wanting revenge is part of the sadness and anger that comes with the grieving process from that perceived betrayal. It is normal but not healthy if it dominates your life, it is normally transient and temporary.
It is more healthy, once recovery has started to take place, to see what it was in that relationship with that person that has been good and positive, to take something positive from your past relationship is far more healthy than to become bitter. To stay angry and revengeful will hurt you more than the other person.
Let it go would be my advice, burn his letters, do something cathartic, but just let it go. | |
|
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/9/2009 1:18:58 PM | Op, just hold your head high, and live well. I don't know what you had in mind for seeking revenge. It wont make you feel any better. Personally, I would never actually DO anything to a cheater to get revenge. But I sure wouldn't feel bad if he became impotent.Can't say I wouldn't laugh either.  | |
|
| |
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/9/2009 1:59:15 PM | | All of these responses I really appreciate reading, Ive had that "need to take revenge feeling as well". But Ive managed to just make her disapear from my life, no contact, erased numbers, removed pictures, and just plain forgot about her. Yea there are times when memories come flooding back and take there toll on me, but I know in the end I will be the better one off and thats the best revenge of them all. But saying I didnt have the idea of trying to commit some kind of revenge would be a lie any way, its only natural. Just be the stronger person and move on with your life and leave that part behind and never look back... | |
|
| |
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/9/2009 7:33:36 PM | Live your life, love yourself, laugh loudly, grow stronger, and enjoy fishing ............making him jealous!  | |
|
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/9/2009 9:12:10 PM | Yes it's wrong!
"An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind"
However, it's normal.
How ****ed up is that??
It's better to graciously move on at your own pace. Eventually you will stop having fantasies about Bobbittizing him, or calling up that new date to tell her that when he started messing with her, he was still with you - or any other scenario that has played out in your mind..
JMO | |
|
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:15:57 PM | I have felt this way MANY times about my ex. But I think that with this, and with any sort of 'wrong doing' it is best to go with forgiveness. Best especially for you.
The sooner you forgive, you can let it go.
karma will give him what he deserves.
I think that as much as we might enjoy the idea of say..throwing a brick through an SUV window to 'show them'...it wouldnt work. I think that cruel and selfish people become more cruel and selfish if we punish them.
Show him what he is missing by being mature, strong and independent.
And find someone who deserves you.
I know its hard..trust me...I'm at the year mark and finally ready to move on..and it still hurts me...but..it wasnt my fault. all we can do is love right?
if we love to the best of our ability and someone mistreats us...
that is a fault in and with them.
and its best and healthiest to just...move on with our lives.
best of luck. | |
|
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/10/2009 10:50:36 PM | Well, no it's not wrong to want revenge. I think it's a natural human response. You're hurt. But you did get rid of him - good for you!!
Something to hold onto - be glad, very glad you found out sooner than later. And you can feel bad for the next girl coming down the line.
But it's true. The best revenge is to live your life well.
Go rent Waiting to Exhale - watch what's her name take her husbands stuff, pile it in his car and set it on fire. It'll give you some satisfaction....:-) | |
|
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/14/2009 11:29:07 AM | | This is 20 yrs ago...I was 18 and he was in his mid 30's....He proposed, we were engaged, I went back home about 2500 miles away, found out he cheated on me with his ex so I cut the crotch of every pair of pants he owned! | |
|
| is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 11/16/2009 1:18:36 AM | | It's so natural to want Revenge after you've been hurt-that tells you your human with feelings. I think your still a wee but hurt and sometimes it's nice to fantisize about getting even and counting the ways. But the very best Revenge is getting on with life and being happy. Leave it to the Universe, She is far more creative and resourceful than you are . Wait for it hehehe!-just wait and see! | |
|
Home
login 
