| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:29:02 PM | | Luck I am not superstiscious and never will be. I know life is a gamble but I am not getting in a car with no brakes or flying in a plain with no wings or dating everybody and anybody just too see how risky I can be. I took a huge risk in defending a girl being choked and got a broken nose cheek bone and head injuries from it. Would I do it again. Yes. Would I stand there and watch a child being beaten, a dog being beaten a women being beaten even a man being beaten the answer is no. So you see I am not a coward and running scared I am trying to be careful so that my odds are good for me to be around a little longer. But I do believe in having courage. There is a big difference. | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:29:27 PM | The question is actually "How do *you* trust *anyone*?"
Really..
Is it that worth going shopping if there is that much danger of being hit by a car crossing the road to the supermarket?
Is it that worth taking your next breath if there is that much danger from your heating system having pumping the house full of carbon monoxide?
Is it that worth getting on a train if there is that much danger that someone will have put a plank on the tracks to derail it?
Think about all the times in your life you *trust* something without any good reason; you sit in your office chair and *trust* that your colleagues havent sawed the legs off for a laugh. You trust that your car isnt going to burst into flames when you start the engine. Why be so inconsistent with your trust? | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:54:36 PM |
Use "common sense" and do not allow anyone to push you into meeting faster than you are comfortable with. "New York Minute" guys are not worth a moment of your time. JMO
Gotta disagree with this, having been whirled around by most of the women on here who I've communicated with- seems there are several women (have no experience with men) on this site who revel in email/IM/phone, with no intention of ever meeting, just "living the way I (she) wish I could live".
It's BS!! Just had it happen again, and I feel kinda like Bill Murray in that Ghostbusters movie- "Damn, she slimed me!!"  
Hey, not sure what ^^^ knows about NYers (my recent slimer was one of 'em), but they, and most of the rest of us, are surrounded by strangers every day, in the flesh. Next "conversation" I have is gonna be eye-to-eye in very short order, or the convo is gonna be very short-lived. Women who dangle the prospect of meeting as if it is some royal audience have become anathema to me. Lol. Maybe I'm the one ill-suited for the cyber experience.  | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:59:50 PM | what makes dateing on line diffrent to any other kind?
if someones a lier and a cheat then they will be that even if you meet them in the supermarket and ask you out. | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:00:50 PM | | OP, I trust online much more than blind dates. At least I can screen the lady and not rely on a friend who often is more interested in a mash up to see if something sticks. | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:03:51 PM | Ultimately, online dating is just another way to say "Hi." All the same dangers, and safety procedures apply that would apply anywhere. The internet might seem more dangerous, but in my (semi-informed) opinion, that's more related to the fact that you can come into contact with more people more quickly here than you can in real life.
Serial killers, rapists, confidence tricksters and the rest have always been around. As Landra said, there's no difference in safety in real life.
And remember, the wonderful news media that tell us these horror stories make the most money by scaring you, and making you think you could be attacked RIGHT THROUGH YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN. If you actually follow up the horror stories, the victims were usually so foolish they would have gotten into trouble no matter how it came to their attention.
Do your research, take all precautions you can think of, and then go ahead. | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:11:28 PM | There is no real difference between "online" dating and traditional dating as the "path" are almost identical and will end up to the same conclusion: meet the person and decide.
The only "advantage" online can provide is both exposure and pre-screening, in a limited way of course, but a smart person can spot some of the red flags pretty quickly before the physical meeting.
Cafe or restaurants do not have a "delete", "ignore" or "block" button.....so score a plus for online, to my taste. | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:04:31 PM | | Um, because people can say anything in real life too, the internet just makes it a bit easier for those who choose to lie. If it seems like there are more problems related to internet dating it is because the medium increases the number of people that meet this way. | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:16:59 PM | In this day and age, trust has to be earned. Ask tough questions. Verify what you can.
Always meet in a very public, well lit place. Ask to see his drivers license. Do not invite him to your home until you are reasonably sure he is harmless. | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:59:04 PM | | Life is about taking chances when it comes to relationships/friendships. You are at just as much risk when you are meeting a guy at a bar. We drive by psychos and killers everyday on our way to work, we walk by them in the mall. Personally i would rather get to know someone online than meeting them in person first. You can get a better feel of who they are. As a man it is much different though, as long as i talk to them on the phone and hear a girls voice, i'm down to meet them and see if we click. My advice to you is get as comfortable as possible about meeting the guy before you meet, talk to him on the phone, meet in a public place and carry a weapon. Good luck. | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:26:12 PM | | hi... the world has always been filled with questionable people.. the true victimizers view the internet as their new playing field, nothing really new under the sun ... how do we trust anyone in life...giving it time, reading signs, keeping both eyes open, meeting their friends and family... if even one of these elements are missing we may be more at risk.... blessings for good judgement and happiness | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:07:36 PM | Let's start with the basics. The first step is to get to know a potential date as best you can via email. Both parties, to some extent, have to accept that you might be taken advantage of. I as a blind man have to accept that pretty much every day. After you get the best feel you can for whoever you're interested in, a good next step is to start talking to each other via phone or Skype. Skype eliminates the need to reveal a phone number as well as long distance charges. Next, presuming such conversations go well, arrange a meeting somewhere public where you both feel comfortable. I have particular trouble navigating to places and nobody in their right minds trusts me to drive. Therefore, I have to accept a further disadvantage and chance to be ripped off or snuffed right out. I most likely have to trust my new date enough to get in her car. She, in turn, must trust a man with a long presumeably white cane not to use it for ill purposes.
To be alive is to be in danger one way or another. The question comes down to what's worth taking on extra risk. I'm 35 years old now and despite being vulnerable to it quite a lot, I've only been taken advantage of perhaps as many as five times in a serious way. Most people out there are merely after the pursuit of their own good fortune and are unlikely to offer harm. The small number who are out to hurt others get all the attention. More likely than not, I'll be rejected nine times out of ten. Blindness, unemployment, no house or car all count against me. I've been divorced after a marriage's painful demise and dumped with agonising sudden swiftness by the woman who loved me after that separation. Yet, even for me, I say without hesitation that it's absolutely worth it to search for love and friendship. Love especially adds so much purpose and meaning to our lives. It helps us to see beyond ourselves in so many ways. Even in its pursuit, we grow as people. When you get right down to it, all we're really dealing with is a different form of communication. A different meeting place not bound by geography unless we wish it to be. We merely have to decide how to handle ourselves in this space and what level of risk we choose to take on. Best of luck to all of us. | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:09:37 PM | I sures as hell don't trust anybody online period. I do agree that anyone can say anything about themselves and fact is you maynever know if its true or not.
Even if I was looking for a woman, whether it's for an LTR, or just casual sex, the last place I would be looking is on an online dating site. | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:42:26 PM | | Dating sites are no difference to meeting someone at the pub, street corner LOL, park, library, clubs, blah. They are all strangers you risk it to get to know them. | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:07:20 PM | | well if i got really serious with someone from a dating website, i'd probably hire a private investigator before going any further. i mean like moving in together or marriage. that way you will know the real truth. better to spend a little money before jumping into something serious. | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:07:02 PM | There is truth you have to trust your instincts and feel it out
you play the con see you feel them out every con eventually slips up see
don't worry too much play it cool be smart go slow reallll slow take it one second at a time
the people who just want sex are the ones who usually fall into those traps if your heart is true well you got nothing to worry about and if you got faith well you can move a mountain got it.
Don't worry. | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:21:50 PM | | I've lived through the 50's to the 2009's and anytime you meet anyone you are taking a chance about who they are and what will happen. You could meet the preacher's brother at a church social and end up with an awful person, there's no guarantees, you have to use your head and be ready to know when to go forward and when to back way off. You have to be able to trust yourself and your ability to not go where you don't want to be. | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/5/2009 3:23:17 AM | its a crap shoot...think about it...how would you trust anyone in a normal dating scene?....maybe in a bar......talk and time unless either are out for a quicky....keep your guard up and take your time....sounds good to me! | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:14:02 AM | | There are two types of fools in the world...the fools who trust everyone, and the fools who trust no one. Try not to be either type of fool. Trust those who earn your trust, and do not trust those who do not earn your trust. When you catch someone lieing...in emails, in person, in a business deal, on his taxes, etc..do not trust him. If you are involved with him when you know he is involved with someone else-engaged, married, etc-you know she can't trust him...so neither can you. Give people you don't know a partial benefit of the doubt. Admit that they may be honest, safe, etc, but keep your eyes open, and see any signs which exist of danger, dishonesty, etc. Learn self defense, and carry a gun, so as to be able to defend yourself against murderous nuts. Life is a gamble. You play, or you die. If you play, you take risks. You can, however, manage your risks, by choosing them more carefully. In a casino, you can improve your odds of winning-or at least losing more slowly-by playing Roulette, Blackjack, or slots. You can greatly increase your odds of losing more money faster by playing Keno. Know the odds, and act accordingly. Do the same with people. Guys you meet in bars are more apt to be violent drunks. Don't get drunk, or stoned on drugs, in the presence of strangers. Let friends/family know where you are going to meet whom, and let whom know that others know about him and the meet. If a guy has blood dripping daggers tattooed on the backs of his hands, avoid him. It's all common sense. Think more than feel. Take precautions. If you try to be always totally safe, you will do nothing, and have nothing. Even going to the bathroom is risky. Every year, many people die on their toilets. Does that mean that you will never go potty again? Good luck with that. | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:37:27 AM | >well if i got really serious with someone from a dating website, i'd probably hire a private investigator before going any further
But you wouldn't if you met them in a bar? | |
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| How do you trust anyone on dating sites?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:18:42 AM |
Anyone can say anything and there is no way to know if its true. Today people take a big chance to meet someone and then get to know them thru emails. They could be wonderful and then out of no where turn on you or be lying and be married, or rob from you. This goes for both men and women. We are meeting complete strangers. Look at the news with this nut that killed so many women. I use to be more trusting but the more I see and hear about dates gone wrong and people not being who they say they are, that I wonder if its worth finding someone if there is that much danger involved in the search.
Yeah, why wait on the possibility that someone might hurt you when it's so much easier to hurt yourself by trusting nobody? After all, it might not even happen, but if you do it to yourself, you can guarantee your own suffering. | |
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