| STD/Mutual Testing Questions
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:19:42 AM |
My thumb rule is a woman should be able to name her lovers. Its not a litmus test but it helps. If you have had more than 10 and some reckless 1 nite stands (Remember most people find it rude to ask.Imagine how harder it is to ask for health documents) ill be gone!!
This is stupid. All it takes is one time to get genital herpes. And if you get something down there that you even think might be an STD, the scare it gives you will change your attitude on this pretty quick. Do a search thread on herpes and see how many folks would be willing to date someone with it. Do a search on the medications to control it, they ain't fun either. It won't necessarily affect your health, but it will affect plenty of other areas of your life.
And btw, are you holding yourself up to the same rule of naming your lovers?
I've known plenty of people who got STD's from one encounter.
The thing is to understand the risk you are taking and try to use safer sex, but using your, ahem, logic is really NOT logical.
M_Church eloquently said it. If I see no signs I consider myself healthy.
You obviously didn't read his whole post. | |
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| STD/Mutual Testing Questions
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:55:04 AM | | It makes perfect sense to get tested. Both parties and if one is not willing begs the question why? | |
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| STD/Mutual Testing Questions
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:03:04 PM | titosmith you haven't been tested! Wow, you could give a woman any number of diseases. Just because you aren't showing symptoms, doesn't mean you don't have an infection or disease. You could have something developing into cancer! Gosh I so wish posts still showed on your profile! This bit of information should be shared.
If you are in a relationship, how the heck is it rude to ask? If you can't ask, you don't know them well enough to be having sex. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 12:05:41 PM | DOWNLOAD AND READ THE MANUAL I REFERENCED ABOVE. ANYONE WHO IS SEXUALLY ACTIVE MUST DO THIS.
note: bloodbanks will take herpes blood, with one exception. that is in the book i mentioned. it is one of the lesser discussed herpes viruses.
if we stop name calling, we might get some important info out with this thread to many of the people who still have no clue! a friend of mine on pof, mentioned that he has an "engineer" friend, closer to my age (61). would you believe that man still thinks that only gays carry AIDS?!* herpes misinformation is even way more prevalent. many men have no clue about papillo virus. many STILL don't know about the six months aids incubation and that's been out "forever".
the cost for the creme de creme herpes test is about $150 out of pocket. you call washington u and they send you a kit which your doctor must then give you an rx for--even if you do out of pocket. if you download and read the options in the manual i cited with my first post, there are also some other ways to conclude which antibody you have with less expensive tests.
there are way more than three herpes viruses. they are all listed in the manual. shingles is one of them that comes from, if i remember correctly, childhool chicken pox that stays dormant in the spine until a later stressful event. i always get chicken pox and measles mixed up!
again, another poster is wrong about herp 1 not spreading to the genital area. yes, it takes a good six months to detect AIDS. yes, a condom is not sufficent to protect you from herpes as it can spread out to a larger radius. the valtrex supresses it from going down the neurons from the spine. many viruses are latent in the spine. valtrex can also be used for common cold sore outbreaks.
pappillo virus is a nightmare. i was concerned about the vaccine coming out with inadequate testing. i raised that at the clinic when i went with my daughter and her first boyfriend for their birth control. apparently we were a first! the girl, her boyfriend AND "the mother" had the nurse practitioner on her toes-- let alone my experience as a hospital administrator/strategist. nothing "impresses" me coming from a supposed "professional" , if a reasonable question cannot be asked and answered with up to date info. yet, most don't have the time. too much up to date info being disseminated.
the nurse poo poo'd my concerns re the papillo vaccine. that same week, the new england journal of medicine came out with the same concerns. this is where you make personal decisions, just like the flu shot. many cite it's a scam and others say to take it. you have to be the GENERAL CONTRACTOR of your own body. what is good for one, may not be good for the other.
doctors are no different than electricians (neurologists) or plumbers (gynecologists, proctologists, et al). FP's are handymen. there are good ones, bad ones, experienced ones, meticulous ones and ones who just want to go home after an eight hour day.
many doctors are salaried and do what they are told nowadays. what they are told, depends upon reimbursement. socialized medicine and insurance will only go so far for the "masses". whenever something is beyond daily protocol, i go to a doc who is not of the hmo mentality. that is how i found my lymes and that took almost 10 years. why? because they gave me the "cheaper" test. i finally found out i had "gulf war syndrome", which years later they found also came from a tick bite. when it all started, they just stood there and scratched their heads. told me i had fibromyalgia and or chronic fatigue (depending upon "which" doctor).
although cdc says lymes is not catching, who the hell knows for sure? just an example of how modern medicine works. lymes testing and treatment is very expensive. no hmo on a captitated fee schedule wants you to have it! many "orphan" diseeases go untreated and unresearched because not enough people have them to warrant the cost of research. with herpes, not enough people blister "yet". they cannot afford to cover all the carriers. so, some of the recipients get screwed, when they are not knowledgeable or in agreement on how to procede.
quite frankly, when there is a "real" relationship, with valtrex, most serious couples do not let that get in their way. however, due to the "ingnorance" on the topic, may just don't discuss it. as a child advocate and prior health care provider at the executive end of the hierarchy, i've always felt it necessary to discuss EVERYTHING, but with full knowledge. that knowledge expands daily.
as to the valtrex studies, most are within a couple years of initial outbreak and not long term studies. few people wish to pay to extend taking valtrex "forever". for those who do, many report no flareups but these are qualititative findings. it takes money to run long term studies. nobody cares! it's about the mighty buck and the pharmaceuticals run the studies to get the drugs approved, that's all. only when the drugs start killing people, do they do more studying.
those with h1 tend to have lesser signs in the genital area than those with h2. as to the pics, they tend to be the worst cases. same as the pics they show to boys to prevent them from getting girls pregnant. they show them the bloodiest ones and with the most complications! for some, it's barely noticeble and it doesn't come back much at all, although they can still "carry". many think it is something else, such as a yeast infection irritation that can cause a crack in the vaginal epithelial tissue--because their outbreak is not like those pics and so they just wait forever for the over the counter yeast med to work! for others, it's a regular occurence over longer periods of time.
okay, i'm outta here. read the manual i cited above. | |
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| STD/Mutual Testing Questions
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:15:43 PM |
My thumb rule is a woman should be able to name her lovers. Its not a litmus test but it helps. If you have had more than 10 and some reckless 1 nite stands (Remember most people find it rude to ask.Imagine how harder it is to ask for health documents) ill be gone!!
And does your rule of thumb also require those lovers to name their lovers, and for them, in their turn to name theirs? And do on add infinitum?
If you have had more than 10 and some reckless 1 nite stands (Remember most people find it rude to ask.
It's got nothing to do with it... I'd slept with women who were virgins and I'd had over 20 partners at the time... If I'd had something, I could have infected the girl on her first time....
If I see no signs I consider myself healthy.
My G/F's Ex died of AIDs a couple of months ago... He looked healthy right up until he entered hospital to die... his new wife didn't even know he had it... he kept it a secret from her... she's now got it too.... so much for looking for signs...
On that note... YOU could be dying of it right now... and not know... no symptoms...
And without testing you might not be able to get treatment to extend your life...
Or HPV could have infected you... Just think how pleasant penile cancer will be.... | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 12:38:49 PM | | I have no problem getting tested. I have done it many times and always get tested six months after a relationship ends. If she wants me to get another test she is getting one at the same time and at the exact same place. It will also be a test where my name and SSN are not required as I NEVER allow my blood to be tested with my name and SSN attached. I also pay cash and log in for the results from a internet connection that is not mine so my sample can never be associated with me. I always advise her to get the results the same way as labs sell your sample for dna databases and also will do unauthorized testing on your sample and make the results available for sale. Before you call me a nut job for getting the results like this a close friend got tested and several months later his health insurance dumped him. He was unable to get new insurance. About a year later he gets sick and has to go to a Dr. He finds out he has cancer. Also finds out that his insurance company purchased testing results and knew he had cancer and did nothing to inform him. Insurance company settled for 7 figures but my friend is dead because he didn't get treatment. | |
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| STD/Mutual Testing Questions
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:49:48 PM |
You worked in Public health so that pretty much disqualfies you as an 'ordinary person' (Just like a nuclear scientist wont have a physics convo with ordinary people.)
Personally apart from AIDS. I dont know anybody who has died of other STI but I know of cancer, pneumonia and kidney, heart diseases. In the mix of world diseases STI (bar HIV) is insignificant.
I actually know a person that died from having syphilis and infected a lot of people. He never got tested, never showed any signs and eventually got to the point of no return and died. The US government killed off a lot of black men with syphilis so yes it can kill. | |
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| STD/Mutual Testing Questions
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:14:55 PM | Having a partner or not, it is always a common sens (no pun intended) to have a yearly check up at least (no matter your age or condition).
Now as per the question, I do not see why will a person refuse to pass test in the first place. Liars and users will claim it is a question of trust: BS~! Only people who has something to hide never show proof of anything.
Get tested and have peace of mind (both ways).
Don't? get yourself another partner! | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 1:16:36 PM | Anyone see the ABC special which Oprah followed up on, where this man dated a dozen women and when asked about being tested he would produce bogas results and then brag about being clean, when in fact he had HIV going back to the early 80's. So these women trusting him, agreed to sex without protection, only to discover he had given them HIV. It was because a couple women saw him dating other women when he was also dating them that they decided to get tested, found they were HIV positive and then warned the other women.
What struck me was how so many of the women would say how well educated they were and that they were not stupid. Yet they noted they had sex with this man often on the first date, because he drove a nice car and was handsome and didn't look like someone who would hurt them. That is so far from being well educated and not stupid. And then they shared how embarrassed they were and how ashamed they were to have HIV. Had they used their brains and done what a smart person would have done, would they have been so trusting? Or naive?
Its as if some people think because they have a degree, make good money, live in a nice area, drive a nice car that they are somehow 'special' and immune to the consequences of bad choices.
~Beth~ | |
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| STD/Mutual Testing Questions
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:47:48 PM | Is there anyone who could let me know what kind of STDs people can get by outer course?
including :
Kissing
Oral sex
Body rubbing (especially sex organs) | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 1:59:04 PM | Its not until you get an STD that you realise just how much damage they can do if not caught quickly.
I believe there is one where the woman doesnt know she has it until her ovaries burst inside her.
I caught a simple bacterial infection of a girlfriend and didnt know i had it until I started passing blood. I thought it was just a run of the mill water infection until after the thrid course of anti biotics it wasnt going away. I was then referred to a gum clinic and they found out I had got it from my girlfriend.
Was my girlfriend rough and been around loads of men ? She said no.
In fact she was a very well to do lady !
Sadly even though it was treated I am left to this day with a very weak bladder.
They put a camera inside the bladder but could find nothing obviously wrong other than an infection.
Sex should come with a warning, it can kill or serious damage your wealth !!!! | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 2:00:17 PM |
wanderingsoul1011 wrote: Is there anyone who could let me know what kind of STDs people can get by outer course?including :Kissing Oral sex Body rubbing (especially sex organs)
Unfortunately, syphilis, herpes, and other infections can be contracted through relatively simple and apparently harmless acts. Like gonorrhea, the chlamydia bacterium is found in the cervix and urethra and can live in the throat or rectum.
Genital herpes, also commonly called "herpes," is a viral infection by the herpes simplex virus (HSV) that is transmitted through intimate contact with the mucous-covered linings of the mouth or the vagina or the genital skin.
http://www.medicinenet.com/sexually_transmitted_diseases_stds_in_women/article.htm
~Beth~ | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 2:22:58 PM | "Unprotected Oral Sex puts you at risk for numerous STDs"
http://std.about.com/od/riskfactorsforstds/a/oralsexsafesex.htm
"HIV
Herpes
HPV
Gonnorhea
Chlamydia
Syphillis
Hepatitis B
The research is inconclusive as to whether or not hepatitis B can be transmitted via oral sex. Oral-anal contact, however, is definitely a risk factor for hepatitis A infection, and it may also be a risk factor for hepatitis B. Fortunately both hepatitis A and B can be prevented by vaccines. If you practice rimming, you should talk with your doctor about getting vaccinated. Vaccination is a good idea in any case, and the hepatitis B vaccine is currently recommended for all children and many groups of adults."
and:
http://gayteens.about.com/od/sexualit1/qt/firsttime.htm
"here are lots of ways to have sex that don't involve penetration. Body rubbing, manual stimulation (which just means using your hands on a partner) and sex toys are all things teens may try out the first time they have sex.
All these activities are considered lower risk for STDs than are anal, vaginal or oral sex." | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 2:30:11 PM | Thank you Beth and Baked sushi for useful information.
What a romantic era we live in where we should ask each other about having STDs even before kissing  | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 2:40:47 PM | He is guilt tripping me/her and
trusts her so completely he doesn't need her to do another test If this is what it takes to put you at ease and he refuses, he is either hiding something or delusional. Either way ... not good indicator. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 2:46:42 PM |
I am not asking. Ill trust my guts
No offence to you, titosmith, and I'm not picking on you by any means...but answers like that are part of the reason why it IS so important to get tested on a regular basis, IMO. Anyone can appear to live an angelic life, but all it takes is once, remember.
I would think requesting that a new partner be tested before engaging in sexual activity would be the norm in this day and age; I've never had a problem making that request, and never minded when it was made to me. PC or not be damned...it's my life, and if someone refuses that request, then they ain't getting any nookie. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 3:12:32 PM | Is there any one here who actually have asked your date about having stds or requested to get tested even before kissing or making out?
Seems many people don't take it seriously as long as they don't have an intercourse even though in many cases people could have all kinds of STDs by any kind of sexual contacts besides intercourse.
Ideally you can ask but in reality you could kill a potential relationship when you start dating someone new and ask if s/he has STDs and request to get tested before kissing or making out. If you do so, your date could think of you a paranoid or a weirdo and no chance to develope into a relationship. Am I wrong here? | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 3:22:11 PM | excellent point Wanderingsoul!
Smart people get tested BEFORE entering the dating game; both for their protection and others.
If you are close enough to a person to kiss that person (or making out), then you should be close enough to her to be able to ask; but it is true that at that level, no one really thinks of it. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 3:38:11 PM | Actually I asked a guy I dated whether he has it or not before kissing him, he said 'no' (He seemed offended by my question btw) then I trusted his words, kissed him and made out with him instead of dragging him to the nearest clinic where he could get tested LOL
But now after reading all these, I feel like I should get tested. Even my doctor said you don't have to worry much when you don't have an intercourse or sex organ rubbing. But many articles say different things.
Now I feel like I should stop dating and everything because there's no way I could ask someone I am newly dating to prove whether he is clean or not. But then I should worry about getting STDs even after kissing. Am I a paranoid here? | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 3:48:13 PM | wanderingsoul1011 check for sores in or around their mouth. Don't kiss someone on the first date, get to know them a bit. It is important to be careful, but you don't want to live in your house for the rest of your life right? You can get hit by a car by leaving your home, oh wait, there was a story last week about a car that went in someone's house on top of them in their bedroom. Soooo...don't stop living, just be aware and prepare.
http://www.ashastd.org/hrc/educate.html | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 4:11:39 PM | The naivety of some posters is pretty scary. All it takes is one time to catch an STD and lots don't have any symptoms. All this talk about 'being clean' is rubbish without testing.
The people who won't get tested are the ones in danger of passing them on. They reckon 1 in 10 people have Chlamydia alone, those are scary statistics.
OP- I agree it sounds like the guy is hiding something. Anyone who cared about their partner's health and fertility, their own health and potentially the health of either person's child would get tested. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 4:18:22 PM | Yeah I've been a paranoid after I've seen my roomie after getting out of a 20 year old STD free marriage and getting herpes from the first guy she dated and couple of friends who got STDs without having an intercourse. And I live in LA which has the highest STD rates among all cities.
I'm not sure checking for sores in or around a guy's mouth can prove he actually doesn't have it cause symptoms are sometimes gone from what I was reading today and getting to know him well doesn't have to do with whether he's got it or not in my opinion cause sometimes people don't know whether they have it or not and people could hide any thing to get what they want.
But yeah I should stop worrying and get tested for the peace of my mind. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 4:38:15 PM |
Is there any one here who actually have asked your date about having stds or requested to get tested even before kissing or making out?
I have with all of the ladies I've been with in the last few years.... None of them have had a problem with me asking.
In each case, we have both been tested and compared notes... In fact, I've taken a couple of them with me to the doctor's to pick up the results....
My current G/F was a swinger before we met... While she was swinging, she got a couple of minor STI's... Her Ex recently died of AIDs... She was very lucky that she didn't get it.... If she had, she would now be dead.... | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 4:48:53 PM | You people need to get educated-----
HSVI & HSVII can be detected through a blood draw-you don't sit back and wait for "symptoms" to appear on your partner-Herpes has an element called "viral shedding"-which means you are able to contract this virus when no outward symptoms are showing such as blisters-educate yourselves-google it!!!!!! | |
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Posted: 11/5/2009 5:17:22 AM |
I have with all of the ladies I've been with in the last few years.... None of them have had a problem with me asking.
So is it just me or is it just men who seem to have a problem being asked these questions? I've yet to see a man post that a woman was insulted by him asking this? Anyone?
If so, that proves alot of my theories. | |
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