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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/5/2009 3:42:43 PM | OK, so the consensus seems to be that lots of men don't mind a committed relationship, they just don't think it's necessary to get married with the paperwork and all the complications.
But I have to ask, for any of you, is this because it would be easier to get out too if you found someone else? Just curious. Not trying to start anything. haha! | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/5/2009 3:55:29 PM |
OK, so the consensus seems to be that lots of men don't mind a committed relationship, they just don't think it's necessary to get married with the paperwork and all the complications.
But I have to ask, for any of you, is this because it would be easier to get out too if you found someone else? Just curious. Not trying to start anything. haha!
i have an issue of principle. (don't we all, right?)
wedding/marriage is an ancient ceremony/institution that harks to the days when local authorities (family elders, usually) got to decide who married whom, and when, and for reasons mostly having to do with economics. people who were truly in love didn't have a prayer unless someone else gave them permission. now, this may have made sense when disposition of land and herds were critical to the survival of the village, but it's not critical now. i am offended by the idea of involving institutions of authority (state, church) in my most private and intimate decisions. a woman and i will constitute a relationship on our OWN authority, thank you very much. | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/5/2009 3:58:30 PM | So what's wrong with not wanting to get married? Where is it written men/women are expected to get married? Some people have great jobs, great lives and don't need to get married, since someone can be serial monogamous when it comes to sex.
And some people just do not want the hassle that comes from the whole marriage and divorce game. And not everyone wants children. We wouldn't have many of the problems we have in society if more people would stand their ground and not get married or not have children.
Just because a women has a good education and a good job, doesn't mean she wants marriage and kids. And then we have couples who belong to the Childless By Choice group. And the term soul mate is so overused.
Recommend two books. History of the Wife and also Public Vows. Both explain why marriage as we know it is outdated for many people. Also check out this link:
http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/articles/marriage_myths.html
~Beth~ | |
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DJ-78
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Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 104 | |
| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:15:54 PM |
OK, so the consensus seems to be that lots of men don't mind a committed relationship, they just don't think it's necessary to get married with the paperwork and all the complications.
But I have to ask, for any of you, is this because it would be easier to get out too if you found someone else? Just curious. Not trying to start anything. haha!
I think it starts with you and your own motivation for getting married followed by dating someone who feels the same way as you about marriage. You're not going to date men as a whole so what the majority men think and do is irrelevant. What counts is the opinon and feeling of the indiviual MAN you end up with. | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:31:28 PM |
i think men are afraid that women may see marriage as a "warranty" or a "guarantee". Yup
i've heard stories where women change, and give up being a pleasing partner after marriage. YUP!!!
couple of things that i imagine men are truly wary of (i know i am):
1. female partner stops becoming a lover once she becomes a mother YUP
2. many females obtain security and confidence after securing a man (aka marriage) and develop uhm... interesting...personality changes. YUP!
So why wouldn't a man want to get married huh?
Just say no
Funnily even my own father recommends not to 'go there' but I didn't need his convincing since I've already seen/observed how many marriages go 
I have an idea......how about 2 people express their love for one another by not trying to CONTROL & lock down the other one? It will keep both people "hungry" to MAINTAIN their relationship rather than ride a contract. | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:33:35 PM | A piece of paper, a gold piece of jewelry and a silly ceremony cannot in any way stop someone from going to someone else or cheating if they really wanted to in the first place. They may give that false illusion of absolute exclusivity but at the end of the day, people will falter if they want to regardless.
It's really not about having an easy way out just in case you find someone else; although, to be honest, if I loved someone and she thought she needed to be with someone else to be happy, than I would rather see her go with that person than unhappily stay with me. Sure, I would probably be hurt if that person left but I think it would be better in the long run and, at the end of the day, she is still her own individual with her own aspirations and dreams; it's her life and she can make, and live with, any decision she wants to make.
An "easy way out" could also be a good thing in the case of abuse; whether physical, psychological or emotional; and women are just much susceptible to become pathological control freaks as men can be, especially if the marriage leads someone to take their partner for granted. A lot of the laws today offer very little protection for men and they are a lot more likely to lose out big in case of separation. Not to mention that most support groups in these situations mostly just cater to women and that men would, in general, face a far greater level a ridicule for using such services. Truth be told, most men are actually expected to simply put up with a lot but there are a lot of men who would prefer not to. I understand that the rewards that a loving and caring relationship can bring but for some, sometimes the risks involved are far to great to wager on.
Now that's not to say that there are probably a lot of men(and women) out there who are also very polygamous in nature, sexually liberated in a sense, and would simply prefer to stay unattached to have as many partners as they can. Personally, I don't really have any problems with that, life is short and people should be free to pursue the type of life they want if it makes them happy as long as they don't hurt anyone else in the process. I think those kinds of lifestyles get a lot of bad publicity, mostly due to religions, blind intolerance and irrationality(although some might blame it on women being more monogamous based on "female nature" but I consider it to be just another effect of gender social conditioning/conformity) but it's really harmless and quite natural. | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:36:03 PM | Why Young Men Are Avoiding Marriage, by Kay S. Hymowitz - http://www.henrymakow.com/why_young_men_are_avoiding_mar.html
Be sure to read the comments, too. | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:43:03 PM | ColonelIngus,
Wow, interesting link..and also interesting reading some of the comments too. Some of those men seem to have a lot of angst towards women....I'm guessing from bad personal experiences. Hope that men know were ALL not that bad! | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:30:52 PM | I heard a rumor that women dislike sex after marriage.  So it's a no-go from the get-go,ya know.Anything that's hazardous to my health I refuse to sign | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:16:28 PM | Britt, I have to say this was an interesting and great post...
Here's the oddity as I see, you are on a dating site (I just do forums) getting responses from men on a dating site, who are looking for women. I also find it interesting how negative men can be about women, yet are still on a dating site looking for women...
I know people get married, and do so happily, no we don't know if it is going to last, and when we do the commitment, or marriage thing at a later time in life, it is a lot different than when we did in our twenties...
I see a lot of the happily marrieds still do forums, and they have a positive attitude... Maybe we haven't been married long enough to have that bitter ugly hate build up, nor that falling out of love thing that apparently according to some never lasts...
Remember in reality those who are posting are such a small percentage of human kind, that they don't even count as a grain of sand, me either...
From a woman, who has been working her way in the legal field, have seen women get drug over the racks in divorces... It may seem that it only hurts men, but really there can either be a win win, or lose lose situation, past the she wins, men loses. If a person goes looking they will find plenty of people to call a victim, I notice plenty who don't go looking for the opposite (IE women getting taken to the cleaners, or going into financial hell with being the parent full time...
On thing I have learned Britt, if keep looking for the good, you will find what you are looking for, however make sure you define your boundaries well... | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:49:47 PM | 1.) All these 'reasons' guys are listing on here for why they don't want to get married are BULL CRAP. If they met the love of their life, their dream girl, someone they couldn't live without... they'd get married. Oh yes they would, simply for the fact it would make HER happy and HER happiness is their priority. In fact, marriage would BE their idea...
2.) Having only one foot in... is the same as having one foot out. You're not in love if you have a 'back door' open for escape.
3.) Sure there are shitty marriages. Doesn't mean every marriage is shitty. Just because you got into a lemon once upon a time doesn't mean every car is not quality.
4.) If you stick around a guy who says 'he doesn't believe in marriage' you are only keeping away from guys who do... when he says something like that... just add the words "to you." Because that is what he really means. And you deserve better than that.
5.) You won't change their mind. Drop them like a bad habit. They do not love you if they are making you unhappy! Its so simple. Yet so many women don't do it. Bad guys are spoiled by women who put up with shit that only fuels their low self esteem. You deserve better.
6.) Mr. I'm Just Not Into Marriage is interchangeable with Mr. I'm Not Into You because the result is the same... your unhappiness... your un-fulfillment... his 'waiting' for the one who he will eventually marry... you being 'placeholder.' You deserve better.
7.) No matter how traumatic a divorce was that he was exposed to in some way... if he loved you truly, he would be so over it. When he says something like that to you... he has weighed the pros and cons... and you are in the con pile and his freedom/money/independence/status are more worthwhile than you being his wife. You deserve better.
8.) Why even have the label of boyfriend/girlfriend? Why live together? Why should he remember your birthday? Why should he call you when he says he will? Why... why... why.. why... See, this never ends. ALL OF IT is just signs he is not as into you as you are into him. There is no equality there... these guys on this forum just want the 'upper hand' but a healthy loving relationship ... IS NOT A BATTLE!
EVERY(Guy) IS ASKING ON HERE: Why should I feel bad for not wanting to get married?
YOU SHOULD ASK YOURSELF: Why should I feel bad for WANTING to get married?
There is no shame, lack of liberation, neediness, etc. for wanting to get married to someone you love. Not for the sake of being married... but for being married to someone you love. If he can't understand that and more importantly doesn't want that himself... get over him... and GET RID OF HIM!
Oh, and did I fail to mention? ...You deserve better. | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:57:20 PM | Marriage is an invented thing. People used it for political, territorial, economical and whatever reason. To keep property and monies. Whatever the reason.
And then if you add the make belief part of it, as in making it part of some religious belief or something.
I don't understand marriage. But it would have been nice to get somebody to live with.
But another funny thing is how they don't let the people who actually want to marry marry. If people of the same sex want to get married. I say let them. That goes for catholics priests too. If a priest wants to marry a man or woman. I say let him. That also goes for nuns and any other clergy person.  | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:08:32 AM |
But I have to ask, for any of you, is this because it would be easier to get out too if you found someone else? Just curious. Not trying to start anything. haha!
Not if i found someone else no lol, if we both decided to go seperate ways then yes, to some degree thats a reason...
My main reason is the cliche factor, i would gladly have a large party with friends and family to declare that me and my partner have decided try and build a life togeather. but a wedding? GAG! The legal aspect has nothing to do with it for me, i believe in a union/partnership type of relationship. and regardless of anything legal, i totally feel it's an obligation for the union to part with EQUAL shares of things accumilated during the partnership. | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:13:28 AM | | TuffLove's post makes me wonder though...I wonder if any of you met your "dream girl", the anxieties would go out the window and you would get married anyway. You just hear it all the time. The man has a fear of commitment and then he meets the right person and the fear is all of a sudden GONE. lol. | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:22:26 AM | | as shrill as you are, tuffluk, you still wonder why the quality guys won't give you the time of day. | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:41:32 AM | Career Bachelor. Retired after 15 years in the military. I see nothing in civilian life that makes me ever consider wedding. Joining back up in the service after my Masters, give the Navy another 20 years out at sea.
Why no marriage?
All of my relatives are divorced, every single one of them. I never met my father (why, because of a divorce)
Whats the point of marriage? to have kids? I hated being a kid, I aint ever having any
All of my friends from highschool that I still keep in touch with, divorced, every single one of them.
All of my male coworkers at the shop, except for the owner, DIVORCED.
It aint Ozzy and Harriet, it aint Leave it to Beaver.
So why would I ever give up the freedom I have now, for the forfeiture of half of my stuff, and future wage earnings? Its a loosing proposition for men, especially if you have a career, a house, a set of cars, a well pensioned portfolio and a strict career ambition.
If I want to pick up my bags and head off to E Timor with the next ship, guess what, I CAN. You dont get that in a marriage. | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/6/2009 3:55:39 AM | The man has a fear of commitment and then he meets the right person and the fear is all of a sudden GONE. lol.
Well, as it was said earlier, not looking to get married, is not a same as fear of commitment..Just living together without the marriage, as an easy way out if things don't work out, or if he finds something better? Not so, because as it was said, after awhile, you go into a common law marriage, so unless you timing living together, it not the case.
I don't know..If I live with a women, come home to her, obviously I love her, care about her..If she would push the marriage, it would make me wonder why?
And there is another thing, I haven't seen being mentioned. Sorry, but just had to say it. SOME women wants to get married to the US citizen, so they get to stay..
I met this Egyptian women, she was really worked hard to get me to marry her..
I liked her, we got along great. She was a student at UNM..
I found out that she was here an a student visa!.. After I told her, marriage isn't on my mind right now, maybe a few years, etc., she figured she doesn't have a lots of time, and that was the end of everything. So...
Tuffluv...Great profile name, BTW...Fits you well..Why so angry? You deserve better..
1.)If I found the love of my life, the one I can't love without, you are right, I would consider to get married again. But not to make HER happy..To make us a legal couple.
You see, if I live with a women, I am committed to her..No longer looking..That paper won't do much..If he.she wants to cheat, that paper won't stop no one..
2.)Not sure if I understand that. Yes, you have to be all in to be in love.
3.) Agree
4.) Well, what if he is the greatest guy on this planet? Comes home to her, treats her nice, loves her, etc., just don't feel the need to get married. She should let him go because of it. No! She should love him , and be happy with him.
5.) Agree. If you love your woman, you making her happy. Doesn't mean you have to be married to her. If she is unhappy because he won't marry her, but everything else is great, well, I would say that's her..um..problem.
6.) Sure, he is not into her, yet he doesn't see anyone else, maybe even lives with her.
Come on..
7.) Agree.
8.)Well, if he is like that, than yeah, he is not into you.
If he can't understand that and more importantly doesn't want that himself... get over him... and GET RID OF HIM!
*sigh* See number 4..
Oh and if that's how SHE feels...
HE deserve better. | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:05:29 AM | Tuffy knows it all. In her 25 yrs of life and limited amount of "relationship" experiences , she manages to speak for all men. She has cracked the "men" code. Just by reading some studies and reading forums. She knows what men want, how they think, what they feel ..everything..
Good job ....
Asking/listening to her is like asking a bald guy for hair style advice.... You're just setting yourself up for Epic Failure
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:09:29 AM | oh I dont know thouh ^^^^^ I think Tuffluv has it reasonably correct.
There is nothing in her posts that screams FAILURE to me.
In fact, my experiences, I'm nearly 40, not 25, does that qualify me a little more tospeak.. Oh arrogant one?
yep, in MY experiences and what i have witnessed around me, men will live with a woman quite happilly without ever loving her, as a supply of sex, money, labour.. until the one he really wants comes along... then.. he asks her to marry him!!
Seen this many times badMonkey... many times.
Men just want what they want,.. but if she's really really hot, he'll stretch to a ring and a slice of his Kingdom.
In the meantime he is happy enough with Miss Right Now.. who sadly will be out on her arse when Miss Hotstuff sways into view.
Tuffluv has YOU pegged.. you have slid into thinking of women as nothing more than a place to stick your little willy.
Theres more to women than that, but someone like you just isnt interested in knowing.
G. x
Funny how a few guys have labelled Tuffluv as 'shrill' and 'angry'
Oh why? Just because she's not falling for your crap?
yeah ok, i've also seen a lot of that behaviour from men too.
'Quality guys' they are NOT.
G. x | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:12:09 AM | tuff... wow. just... wow. Please forgive me in advance if this rant is in anyway offensive or negative to you(or anyone else) but I just had to reply.
1) If I was to meet the girl of my dream, it wouldn't change by views on the absurdity of marriage. The only way I would consider getting married is if this girl was to give me an ultimatum between marriage and a life long commitment without marriage. Personally, I find the thought of a woman forcing such an ultimatum about such a completely absurd and needless concept to be a major turn off, repulsive even. If I was ever to go give in to such hostile negotiations, because I cared for this woman(enough to overlook her shallow, conforming, possessive and manipulative natures) and wouldn't want to lose her(Because she most likely has to have other redeeming qualities, otherwise I wouldn't be with her in the first place), I think I would lose a lot of respect for myself.
2)Not being married does not equate for one for in, one foot out. If the commitment is already made in that mans heart, he definitely has both feet in; with or without marriage. If you believe that marriage is a true representation of love or that marriage is an actual prerequisite of true love, you do not know what love is.
3) I agree, there are definitely good marriages and bad ones but that doesn't mean that men shouldn't want to protect themselves in the case that it does turn out to be one of the bad ones, virtually all marriages start out as a good marriage. (Note that I am also not trying to say anything in the likes of "women are all evil!", if all attempts of cross gender interaction ended in failure none of us would even be here. I think a lot of us here still have plenty of faith in commitment, companionship and love)
4) Right, so instead of actually trying to get to know this person, questioning his and her own beliefs together, understanding each other, growing as a couple and earning each others trust; she should just cut and run!? So much for having both feet in!
5) If he or she is unhappy with someone(and I mean real despair unhappy, not the "oh we had a fight today" unhappy), I can understand him or her moving on to someone else but to equate marriage to a persons happiness is completely absurd, childish and overtly superstitious. It would be like equating the entire life of a relationship over dancing the chicken dance in front of a silver spoon while wearing space helmets (All of which is actually much less metaphorically sexist than traditional marriage ceremonies).
6) unhappiness, unfulfillment and considering yourself a place holder, waiting to be picked out; all over a piece of paper!? Are you kidding me! Could you be any more superficial or think any less of yourself!? Love and marriage are two completely separate entities, you can have marriages without love and love without marriage.
7) There are plenty of men who are ready to sacrifice freedom, money, independence and status over a life time commitment but the two should also never be mutually exclusive. Just because a man is in love, doesn't mean he'll lose all sense of self preservation and rationality either. If a woman's objective in her union with a man is to make him lose his freedom, money, independence and status; he deserves better.
8) Men do want a healthy and loving relationship but it doesn't need to involve marriage. You are making this into a battle by blindingly enforcing the mentality that marriage is an absolute prerequisite to love. And, a battle over what? a label? husband and wife? Having a loving and committed partner is something special, it's what most people want, but most men really don't need labels for it either.
I think most of the men here have already asked themselves about the pro's and con's of marriage, what it implies and signifies. I think what you should be asking yourself is: Why do I feel marriage to be so important? Is it because your parents before you were married and you just want to simulate that same experience out of conformity? Is it because of all those Disney fairy tales you watched as a child, with a dashing young prince coming in to take possession of a beautiful princess, marrying her and living happily ever after? Is it because you have an irrational fear and contempt of men and do not trust them to be committed and faithful without that false sense of security? Is it because you feel as though everyone will think you're selfish if you don't want to have children or think you're a slut for wanting children without being married? Is it because you have absolutely no desire to be self reliant and would rather live on someone else's back, all while being legally protected to do so?
There is no shame in a woman who doesn't believe, need or care for marriage and for wanting to be with someone out of love alone. There is no shame a woman not to want to lose her name to a man or be handed over by her father like sold goods. There is no shame for a woman to start thinking about marriage in a critical manner and seeing it for the superficial and superstitious farce that it is. There is no shame for a woman to not materialistically care about how much her ring cost and how big her diamond is. There is no shame in respecting another human beings income, and the sacrifice he may have had to make to acquire this income, and not feel entitled to it in any way, shape or form. There is no shame for a woman to be independent enough to be assertive and pursue the man she wants to be with instead of waiting for a man to come to her, settling for the first one whom proposes to her. There is no shame in living your life in a loving and caring relationship with a man, without having legally defined by a court or religious organization.
edit:
yep, in MY experiences and what i have witnessed around me, men will live with a woman quite happilly without ever loving her, as a supply of sex, money, labour.. until the one he really wants comes along... then.. he asks her to marry him!!
And you think women don't do that either, often taking quite a chunk out of that man as she moves along to her next beau? Do you really think if a man was not in love with a woman and only wanted her for sex, money and labour until the prettier girl comes along that a marriage would really make a difference?
Men just want what they want but if she's really really hot, he'll stretch to a ring and a slice of his Kingdom. In the meantime he is happy enough with Miss Right Now.. who sadly will be out on her arse when Miss Hotstuff sways into view. You obviously have some very false and demeaning preconceptions of what a man is(I think you are also very much oversimplifying and misconstruing their intentions and ignoring completely that women can and will also change partners if they are unhappy).
There might be some men who keep women around as "disposable placeholders" but they are in very small minority and, if anything, they are probably a lot more likely to be for marriage in order to give these women piece of mind over this false promise of commitment.
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:35:27 AM |
Theres more to women than that, but someone like you just isnt interested in knowing.
I am not interested in knowing more about women like yourself and that tuffy there... Angry, bitter ...women who think men are pigs, ***holes, who think nothing but sex 24/7.
You're nearly 40, and probably has less common sense than the tuffy, that's even sadder.
men will live with a woman quite happilly without ever loving her, as a supply of sex, money, labour.. until the one he really wants comes along... then.. he asks her to marry him!!
and ? what's your point. Again common sense! People LIE, CHEAT, USE EACH OTHER. It's NOT JUST a male thing. Women use men too. That's humans for you. You people need to learn more about your OWN species.
he is happy enough with Miss Right Now.. who sadly will be out on her arse when Miss Hotstuff sways into view.
Oh really ? I can feel your hot and raging feminist anger from here. Jebus Krist woman! Take a look at what you're saying.
Pig men! How dare them want a hotter woman, ***holes! right ?
It's what it is lady, love it or leave it. We're all humans. Just because you're in love with someone right now, doesn't mean it's going to last forever. As I said before, people change, feelings change, thoughts/ideas change, everything changes.
People used to marry and stay married for so many different reasons that we have already discussed. None of them exist today. Now we're back to our bare roots, being humans again.
I feel sorry for you if you think, "real LoVe" is eternal. You've been punked by all those soap operas and romance novels. Wake the f up and smell the coffee. I bet at 40 you're still waiting for your knight in shining armor.. Good luck, keep on waiting... | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:55:50 AM | bad monkey..
Look i could get arcky and nasty and engage in put downs with ye, but i wont,. because i actually have a real point to make here.
I, actually don't really feel marriage is nessacery,.. of course it isnt, in legal, social terms its now obsolete,.. but to SOME people, its about commitment. its not a garuntee of love,.. its the ultimate sign that someone is prepared to put themselves on the line,.. to be your 'legal 'next of kin'... to some thats meaningful.. you are creating a little family as such, even if there are no actual children in the Marriage.
Its the ultimate responsibility that two people have for each other.
Bad moinkey, everything in this life is ethereal, nothing is garunteed,.. I lost my fiance at 38 years old,.. he was the one who asked me to marry him.. we had just arranged to become engaged and pick out a ring,.. and then he died,.. so no, I never got married, and now, never will, it isnt nesacery , but for him, I would have.I didnt NEED marriage,.. but agreed, because it was my heartfelt and sincere way of showing him I'd be there for him.. his 'family' his partner, that I wouldnt leave on a whim... and believe me Bad Monkey.. this man was a very challenging man to be with , with a lot of problems... which eventually resulted in his premature death... I didnt need to promise him marriage, but for him.. it made him feel secure .
Yes, nothing is garunteed, but real love CAN exist, if the person decides that they will take the love the have, and make a promise to the other person to be there. Now for SOME marriage is the ultimate symbol of that.
I know you'll think me 'fairytale minded'..believe me, I havent lived in Fairytale land for a long time.. and no White knight will appear,.. in fact, these days, Princessess are having to mount their own trusty steeds and rescue errant Princes!!
Commitment..love.. not the same thing, but often, in tandem, produce some of the finest of what human beings are capable of.The ideals of integrity, keeping your word, and legally and symbolically showing that you're there, for good/bad/better/worse/richer/poorer. in sickness, and in health still have meaning for some, yes, even in this me me me instant , self gratification society.
Some of these Unicorns really do exist.
With marriage, there is always a get out clause in terms of Divorce,.. so its not like a life time unbreakable vow,.. but for some the legal and symbolical aspects of marriage really make them feel that the other person must love them a whole lot, and are perpared to stick by them, just because theyre willing to take that marriage step.
Symbolically, i find marriage to be a good way of showing you mean business.
G. x
G. x | |
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| Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:23:03 AM | If I met my dream girl my anxieties might go out the window and I might get married anyway - but would probably still retain enough sense to negotiate a prenuptial agreement if there was any reason for one.
First marriages have a nearly 50% failure rate, and second or subsequent marriages have a much higher failure rate. No-one expects failure, but no-one expects to die soon, crash their car, or get very sick soon either, yet we have insurance anyway.
People get married too easily, I think. If you find someone you do want and intend to marry, cohabitate a few years before taking that next step. If you're that commited that you're considering marriage anyway, cohabitating has no negative impact on the subsequent success or failure of marriage. (according the the aritcle link Beth posted)
I think that many men see no real attraction in marriage unless and until they do meet that woman they can't live without. Until she comes along, there is no good reason to marry, and so many to not marry. Some men may never encounter such a woman, and since there is no lack of women with whom they can have casual or temporary relationships, there is little incentive to marry just for the sake of marriage or archaic social expectations. | |
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