| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/7/2009 12:29:45 PM | | Sometimes, no one do you like you can. But, when a SO is spending more time in front of the computer screen to satisfy themselves instead of with their real live partner and won't admit or chat about it, they should just move on. | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:14:34 PM | The only real issue I see is with communication. If you can communicate properly with a sex partner, then you can ask directly what your partner wants. Making assumptions that your partner will like what your past partner(s) have enjoyed can be just as problematic as turning to Professor Porn, but talking with your partner about their actual needs and desires clears up this problem.
In short: Making assumptions that your partner's body works in any particular way without talking to them about it is problematic. It has little to do with porn per se. | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:21:28 PM | when men turn to porn for moves, yes.
half the women aren't really enjoying it. it sucks when a man watches porn, and tries to do what he sees thinking its all good when porn is 99% acting. | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:29:01 PM | Re the Opost:
"male-centric" and "Ron Jeremy"?
It is obvious that the author refers to porn of decades past not of the 2000s.
In other words, no, IMO modern (2009) porn is not ruining real live sex. | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:40:54 PM | rever: RE: "porn is 99% acting".
Exactly. The bedroom is not the place for acting. Give me the real thing any day. Its a little more work, takes real communication skills, but is far more rewarding in the long haul. | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/7/2009 2:05:01 PM | ChicagoStyle: RE: "If you don't like porn that's fine, but let's not go saying it ruins peoples sex lives. Some people understand exactly what porn is amd what it's for. And some watch it and enjoy it together and continue to have a healthy sex life together."
My understanding was the OP was speaking to overuse and wrong use (porn instead of sex with a SO). Perhaps I misunderstood. It's like any other addiction. Moderate use is no problem. Over use can be. So can use for the wrong reasons. This brings up a whole different thread, "the use of sex for non-sexual ends". Porn is a "instant gratification, thus (purely) a money making racket (these days anyway) which cannibalizes users. I think we can do better. Especially among the young who may have not had proper early childhood sexual education. Who knows anymore? That, is one positive use of a forum such as this perhaps...to help clue in (to other options/creativity)those who formerly were just going with the herd on important life matters. | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/7/2009 2:10:29 PM | Some of you must be watching some lame fake/acting prOn and think that's all that's out there. Don't you know where to find the real stuff? 2009 + internetz. Don't make me dig up URLs/recommend a site please (unless you want me to *wink*)  | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:04:18 PM | [q] OMG_kitten-what are you doing on this thread??? [/q]
well, I'm only going from memory, so no one quote me or try anything at home. Things might have changed since I last got a little. | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:53:30 PM | Porn is art why would art ruin sex. Does a great Renoir painting ruin sex?
Does Barry White ruin sex? He is just too sexy I just can't compete with him so I don't even try. | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:00:04 PM |
Making assumptions that your partner will like what your past partner(s) have enjoyed can be just as problematic as turning to Professor Porn, but talking with your partner about their actual needs and desires clears up this problem.
I think trying to do what you past partner(s) liked is a big mistake in relationships... and often I think it leads to the so-called bad sex.... And lack of communication means that the other person leaves the relationship or puts up with crappy sex instead of fixing it.... all too common when one person has had a lot of partners, but not learned anything...
I can't imagine too many men using porn as a sex guide.... I mean most of us know it's about as real as Wrestling.... | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 4:05:08 AM | Porn destroyed my only real relationship. My ex left me, saying he wanted to see other girls. He did see many other girls for a $1.99 and $2.99 a minute on his cam porn sites. This was costing him $75 to $90. dollars a week. | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:40:30 AM |
Porn destroyed my only real relationship. My ex left me, saying he wanted to see other girls. He did see many other girls for a $1.99 and $2.99 a minute on his cam porn sites. This was costing him $75 to $90. dollars a week.
I would dispute that cam sites are porn. Seems to me it has some kind of relationship/control issue that just watching porn does not have. And yes, ANYONE spending that much cash on cam sites has some real issues with relationships. But that he wasn't the greatest communicator either... | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:56:46 AM | Whether people admit it or not, they are curious about how other people have sex, and it's not too likely you'll see many other people having sex unless it's through porn.
That said, porn is not real, it's meant to appeal to men mostly...and because porn DOES get boring the scenes have to keep topping the last. Used to be oral was big, but how tame is that now! haha So all this stuff that really doesn't happen much in real life or at least not in the same way is what is commonplace in porn.
Problem is re-training the men and their expectations...and retrainng yourself as a woman to not feel bad if you don't look and react like porn stars do. | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 6:47:26 AM |
Problem is re-training the men and their expectations...and retrainng yourself as a woman to not feel bad if you don't look and react like porn stars do.
You raise some valid points about the fantasy aspects of porn, but the gist of this post seems more like a form of denial, imho, with a touch of arrogance that either sex has the authority to "train" the other. I trained my dog, sorta, to do some things. It stops there. | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:37:26 AM |
Porn destroyed my only real relationship. My ex left me, saying he wanted to see other girls. He did see many other girls for a $1.99 and $2.99 a minute on his cam porn sites. This was costing him $75 to $90. dollars a week.
Honestly, I don't think that's the fault of porn (and I'll agree with a previous poster that camming is not the same as porn)--I think that should be blamed on addiction and the inability of your ex to deal with his addiction properly. Most people who watch porn (which is probably most people) don't have problems doing so in a healthy manner, any more than most people who drink alcohol become alcoholics. | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:23:30 AM | I think what has ruined sex more than anything is Catholics. They turned an otherwise normal, satisfying way of expressing passion and de-stressing into a way to repopulate and ordain minions into their cult.
Women who don't bathe regularly and go out in public wearing Eeyore sweaters with matching colored sweatpants have also done their role in destroying sex. | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 1:57:33 PM | RE: "Watching porn is like being hungry and watching someone cook a steak."
Waah ha ha ha. "Are they going to share?" ha ha ha. | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:16:29 PM |
I think what has ruined sex more than anything is Catholics.
Well, they DO shame ya for it, and there's a catholic church within walking distance of just about every place, but they offer that confessional fix, which is a stroke of genius in my book. How could anybody not get addicted to that?!!!
Nahhhh, the Baptists, specially the Southern kind, that scare me. One lil peek, and you are gonna burn, baby!! | |
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| Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 3:27:44 PM |
Well, they DO shame ya for it,
You have to be a willing participant to be shamed. Catholicism should be looked at like a Chinese take out menu, pick the items you like best, and leave the rest.
Shame should have no place in anything that claims to make anyone feel good about themselves. | |
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