| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:26:17 AM |
seems happy and is still treating me like i'm irrelevant. is he in a rebound? what do you make of all this? I make that he is happy and you are miserable and don't want him to be happy. You weren't married by your own choice, you broke up by your own choice. Now you need to get over it! That is your choice to move on too. Not sure why you haven't after 18 months! That is going on 2 years lady! You are wasting your time and not living your life, get on with it! The past is your history, learn by it and move forward. | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:39:34 AM | I'm thinking more along the line of what will come of their relationship.
how does someone go from procrastinating their whole life to rushing into things in their next. i can't see it working out in the long term and am just curious what others think in that regard. how about her snagging him to have a baby? she is 41.
Who cares what comes of their relationship. That's their business. It's hard, but it's time to move on. Let them have their lives. You're 32 now. It's time to live your own life. You made a bad investment in that relationship. It happens.
Learn to live on your own first (trust me this is important) You went from living with your parents to living with this guy. You need to learn some independence for yourself. Yes, being lonely sucks. Once you can do that, then you'll be ready to share your life with someone.
This is all from experience. | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:23:15 AM | The way I see it he could have done this for a couple of reasons. One maybe he didn't feel you were the one for him. Two maybe he felt you were pressuring him to make a major decision that he felt he should make on his time when he felt he was ready for it. In fact if you go back in your mind and replay some things he may have said to you when you were dating all the evidence and info will probably be right there. Maybe you weren't the one for him but the one that he met to put the idea in his mind, to plant the seed so to speak. I know thats a hard reality if you wanna be with the guy and you thought he was the one but at times reality sucks.
If you try to get a man to do something when he is not ready or willing to do it that will make us want to do it even less, especially if you make an issue of it but if you chill out a little and give us time to decide how we feel about it and not make somewhat of an ultimatum about it we may just decide to do it the thing is you present us with the idea and let us decide if we want to go for it or not, its still a mutual decision.
Now as you put it you "lost it" if a man sees a woman as mentally unstable he is very unlikely to want to have a child with her and be stuck together with her for the next 18+ years. I know it may sound harsh to you, but I'm just keeping it real. Would you want to have kids with a person that you thought was trying to push a family on you and had problems controlling his emotions, probably not. | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:28:17 AM | | Sounds like they were closer in age, possibly also in maturity level. They were keeping it real in realizing that they don't have a lot of time left and they both wanted to do it. I don't see anything wrong with that. Sounds to me that even if they don't work out as a couple that child will still have 2 great parents that love them. I know she may seem like the other woman to you but at some point you have to let it go and move on. | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:17:16 PM | I "make" of all this that although I understand your hurt, his life is none of your business.
Move on, he has what he wants, and if he discovers it isn't what he wants--that's none of your business either, not unless he tries to come back to you.
You moved out, TWICE, what was he supposed to do?
Take responsibility for your actions and grow some ovaries. Kiss his memory good-bye and forge a new life. | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:24:58 PM | Not only is the OP Sugarbum75 age 34 but she is a legal assistant. As adults we have to own up to our own choices. If someone lives with someone for years sans marriage and they expect the person will marry them, perhaps they are living in la la land.
Remember no one can make you feel like garbage without your permission. Learn from the experience, dont repeat it,move on.
~Beth~ | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:05:14 PM | I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. The thing is, men are often not as interested in marriage as women are... if they are happy in a relationship, they are often content with things remaining the same. They don't understand that women often want marriage.
Another factor could be that he just did not love you enough... or it could be a combination of both things.
You handled it the wrong way though... you cheated on him. that erodes trust, which in turn erodes any love he had for you. What you should have done is left him for a time... a few days, weeks, or months, whatever it took for him to be willing to give you a ring and/or a wedding date. Even though I am a man, I understand women.. It's reasonable to get married and have a child, if that's what she wants. If a man did not want that, he should have discussed it very early in the relationship, and then the people could decide to either bend a little, or move on. When talking about relationships and women, marriage and babies are part of that teritory... be prepared.
Is he on the rebound? - could be, hard to say... how serious the relationship is could give the clue... they are having a baby, that's farly serious... does she want to get married? Will he go along with it this time and marry her? Only time will tell.
However, whether or not he is on the rebound or not is imaterial... he has moved on, and will most likely never come back to you... he has moved on... I hope you will also. | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:24:10 PM | To the Community I don`t believe this self Petty threads was allowed to survive Aaaaaa Yes A woman made the thread goes to show who real controls the Forum Threads.
By forum rules this thread should of been removed, and I've been seeing many others!
do the Rules Apply to some but not for others????? I guess they do
OP Get jiggy with it relationships come and go in life ! WTF you think your the only one that is going through a brake up after so many years in a relationship with kids +++++
You think your the only one that's been wronged in life!
Nothing lasts forever, Relationships and friends will come and gone!
So time to move on and stop all your self petty.
You don't Sayyyyyyyy a family in 9 months, I guess she had something you didn't have | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:34:30 PM |
I'm thinking more along the line of what will come of their relationship.
how does someone go from procrastinating their whole life to rushing into things in their next. i can't see it working out in the long term and am just curious what others think in that regard. how about her snagging him to have a baby? she is 41.
Why do you care? You broke up. Why are you concerned? He's made his decision. I don't get it. He rushed into a new relationship, it's his problem/joy/whatever.
You need to work on moving on. Therapy will help. Friend fun, changing routines, etc...Good luck and stop obsessing. It's unhealthy. | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:05:24 PM | Your story is sad but unfortunately not all that uncommon. What is unusual is the length of time involved. You really should treat this as a failed marriage I think. One good bit of advice I've heard from many sources is, if you want to be married, don't act as if you are. Living together as if you were married is not really a marriage, not really a try-out. Your long time partner really had no incentive to marry you and obviously didn't want to. When the guy says he isn't ready to marry after years together, what he really means is her isn't ready to marry you.
The good news is that you have had a useful and valuable experience and there is no reason you can't now move on to what you really want. My daughter had a similar experience, though not such a long one. She lived with a guy for 4 years, even bought a house with him. She finally figured out he really didn't want to marry her. Within 6 months of breaking up with him she met another man, married him and now has a child almost two years old now, something she wanted very badly.
Why he moved on to someone rlse so quickly? Well we can only guess. But you can use this as an opportunity to find a much more satisfying relationship. | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:09:00 PM |
I went back with my ex and ex broke it off 3 weeks in with POF girl. he decided i was on probation and felt he had an excuse to continue to procrastinate.
He didn't need an excuse...according to you, you "lost your mind" and ditched. He owed you nothing at that point, and you should be thankful he took you back at all.
within a few months, i lost it again and moved out. before i was fully moved out, ex went back on POF, met another girl and then basically proceeded to ignore my calls and treat me like garbage.
Again you "lost your mind" and then criticize that he ignored your calls. Wah. This is what exes do. They ignore other exes while they try to move forward.
And YOU "lost it" twice and complain that HE treated YOU like garbage? Um...yea...who treated who like what?
Seeing the big picture yet?
He's known her for about 18 months now and seems happy and is still treating me like i'm irrelevant. is he in a rebound? what do you make of all this?
Um yea...you're an ex. You ARE irrelevant. What did you expect him to do? Entertain YOU and his new beau? Get real.
As for what I make of this...two things...
1. You are SO stalker material. He's your ex. What he does with his life is of NO concern to you at all.
2. You're pissy and whiny because it took him less time to move on and have a family started than it took with you...which actually never happened. Get over it.
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:34:10 PM | i agree with the whole board. you know what you need to do now.....move or or do a clara harris routine on him (texas female dentist killed her dentist husband by running over him with her mercedes in a hotel parking lot).
this guy has wasted your life, time and yes, body. we as women need to be a little smarter. do you know if the other woman is cuter or have a better figure ? is she making more money than you? i bet this whole thing was about SEX and "homegirl" trapped him by getting pregnant. please do not call him, see him or write him. kick him to the curb but first put sugar in his gas tank and scratch vehicle/paint up.
be careful | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:55:47 PM | Sugarbum75,
I completely understand how this must be devastating for you and you want to understand why all of this is happening so soon for her and it took so long for all of these things to happen for you with him.
My advise to you is to try not to figure it out. Don't waste your time trying to think about the decisions he's made with her. Try not to take offense to the fact that he's making these deicisions so much sooner with her. Men do things when they want to do it and when they're ready to with the right person. Unfortunately, you two were together far longer than you should have because he didn't want to make those decisions with you. On the bright side, there will come a time when a man comes along that does want to move in with you, marry you, and start a family with you. Don't waste your time worrying and thinking about the "might have beens" with your ex, and focus on finding the man that wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him.
Best of luck! | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:55:58 PM | deltadallas,
If you think that being a "little smarter" woman includes stupid, vindicative and illegal vandalism like this:
put sugar in his gas tank and scratch vehicle/paint up
or by felony assault like this:
do a clara harris routine on him (texas female dentist killed her dentist husband by running over him with her mercedes in a hotel parking lot)
you seriously need some help. That's not even funny to kid about.
Bet your exes are happy to get far, far away from you. | |
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