| Bypassing the phone, is it okay or not?
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:58:03 PM | OP: Speaking on the phone is a must for me. It's part of the weeding out process, if you will.
I want to hear his voice (don't want a Donald Duck voice now - do we ? lol). I want to be able to have a conversation and see how things flow. Depending on our phone conversations we'll determine if we want to meet or not.
Usually I request (if they are ok with this) their number, and after we've had some conversations, I'll feel more comfortable giving them my number (if we decide to meet and something occurs during the commute) and then hopefully meet.
It's also a good indicator when they provide you with their home number (not married, etc....). | |
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| Bypassing the phone, is it okay or not?
Posted: 11/15/2009 7:56:09 AM | When I meet someone new I have zero expectations and I have found when talking on the phone alot, you tend to create them, even unexpectedly. You miss so much about a person when you don't see them face to face and get many nonverbal cues.
And since I have low expectations at first, what does it hurt to just meet for dinner/drinks/coffee or something similar? If we click and I have a desire for a 2nd date, THEN I start letting the expectations grow and start having wishful thoughts. lol But before that it really is not that important, so talking on the phone isn't really that important to me either. | |
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| Bypassing the phone, is it okay or not?
Posted: 11/15/2009 8:05:53 AM | | Before computers you met on a blind date if you liked one another you exchanged phone numbers. E mailing someone should only be used for a short time then you phone them then you meet. Whats the problem ????? | |
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| Bypassing the phone, is it okay or not?
Posted: 11/18/2009 10:41:25 AM |
Before computers you met on a blind date if you liked one another you exchanged phone numbers. E mailing someone should only be used for a short time then you phone them then you meet. Whats the problem ?????
Times have changed. We're in the computer age now, and I think people should learn to get with the program.You meet here online by typing messages to each other and viewing each other's photos, so why not make the date by typing messages to each other? It's just a natural progression of things in my book. | |
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| Bypassing the phone, is it okay or not?
Posted: 11/18/2009 11:03:57 AM | I hate phones. I have one out of nessesity but I hate talking on the phone. The trouble with the phone or IM is men feel it's necessary to talk about big jim and the twins.
On a good note most men blew it before the first meeting. That last one rattling on about how great he was, putting woman down definitely blew it. | |
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| Bypassing the phone, is it okay or not?
Posted: 11/18/2009 11:18:56 AM | I like the phone, but then again, if you can’t even carry a conversation on the phone, how are you going to do it person? For me the “phone call” has been a deal breaker and I’m glad I had them, it saved the meeting. And for those that hate it so much, maybe you haven’t yet met anyone who can hold an interesting conversation or its you who may be incapable of it. Instead of avoiding it, why not use it as a new tool? Gee, I’m talking to someone now who made it clear from the beginning that she hated the phone, her tune has changed considerably and yes, we have met.
Yes, it’s a new age, but if you’re going to hide behind that line, then you might as well hide in sex emailing too and save the trouble of getting dressed. I’m amazed at how impatient people are, as if this is a buffet and it closes in ten minutes. I think at least one good phone conversation say a lot about both of you. | |
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| Bypassing the phone, is it okay or not?
Posted: 11/18/2009 11:19:34 AM | I really dislike talking on the phone as well but I really see no harm in giving out your number for a quick greeting and to make plans without any confusion. You can always make the conversations short and light to avoid awkwardness. I rather have a man pick up the phone and properly introduce himself than to take the easy way out and text.
I used to be leery of giving out my number too until I have met the man in person and have agreed of mutual interest....but it doesn't really stop crazy men from phoning you when you initially did think they were normal. Or you can very well like a guy in the beginning and change your mind and have him still call you obsessively. Point is, I really don't see any difference in giving out your number in the present versus after meeting him. I mean...what's the worst he can do with your number? Unless its listed in the phone book with your address listed as well, I think most men would just eventually throw it away.
Anyways, some men might not like your protocol because they might assume you're married or are hiding something for not handing out your number....but the majority will understand. If this protrocal has worked for you in the past...do whatever makes you comfortable.
Oh and I disagree with some of the posters about screening ppl on the phone....I just use it to make plans and a quick hello...other than that, most men hate the phone and they are usually more talkative in person. I also had great convos with men on the phone and in person- it was completely different and for some reason, I just didn't feel any chemistry. I don't think the phone is the perfect measurement to see if you and the person click but it might help in screening liars etc...I can usually tell if someone is lying to me on the phone. | |
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| Bypassing the phone, is it okay or not?
Posted: 11/18/2009 11:58:11 AM |
I like the phone, but then again, if you can’t even carry a conversation on the phone, how are you going to do it person? For me the “phone call” has been a deal breaker and I’m glad I had them, it saved the meeting.
That's the exact reason why I hate them. I don't want to be negatively judged just because I don't like talking on the phone and am not at my best. This feeling can compare with the way a deaf person must feel when she can't get close enough to someone to read their lips. In contrast, I am totally comfortable speaking to someone in person, where we can exchange eye contact and body language with each other. | |
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| Bypassing the phone, is it okay or not?
Posted: 11/18/2009 12:20:38 PM | Well sure it's ok - if that's how you want to do it .
For myself , I don't meet anyone in person till we've done alittle phone time. So much can be revealed ! First I want to hear their voice , and laugh . And in the course of the conversation , little tidbits can come out that have saved me time and travel to go hang with someone I wasn't at all comfortable with on the phone.
Thus far, it's been a pretty reliable screen . If we have fun on the phone , we have fun in person !
Whatever works ! | |
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