| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:36:00 PM | | As far as I know, the equality women fought for had to do with the voting booth and the work place. THAT is where we were getting ****ed over. Are we going to be told to open the doors and pull out the chairs for our dates now because of this? | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:45:54 PM | if they don't some people incessantly, they would be reluctant to meet
Perhaps they tend to be the strongest and most grounded to control their environments.
some guys need to be coaxed, a lot. | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:59:51 PM |
some guys need to be coaxed, a lot.
And.....what do you call a woman who needs to be coaxed alot????
Apparently, there are some terrible names out there for us ladies who NEED to be coaxed alot.
Let me see......what can we call a guy who is that way. Lables anyone?
Edit: My previous post ~
When I was single, I was like the woman in Scenario #2 and I had more decent and confident men asking me to dance or coming by and chatting. I would flirt, but gently. If the guy was a hounddog, then I quickly froze him out. If I saw a man that looked interesting to me, I simply let him know with a couple of looks and a certain smile that I would welcome his attention....still sitting on my stool. He'd come over.
I watched shrill laughing women in frenzied, brittle, desperately looking like they are having fun mode go and approach men and men turning from them almost right away.
I shuddered and swore that I would never be that way.
I knew that there were men who sat back and waited for the women to approach. It's a control issue for them more than anything. | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:16:34 PM |
And.... what do you call a woman who needs to be coaxed alot????
Apparently, there are some terrible names out there for us ladies who NEED to be coaxed alot.
Let me see......what can we call a guy who is that way. Lables anyone ?
Belle Lass what reward will I get if I guess the right one ??? Adumbazz ?
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:26:27 PM | ...that's a start.
Lets see...a GAMEPLAYER? VAG TEASER? A PRINCE? AN ENTITLEMENT MANWHORE? PLAYING HARD TO GET?
Yeah...I know it's hard. We don't have half the names for men that men have for women. You see....when a man wants something and he can't get it.....he resorts to other methods to get it....using name cards to shame and manipulate women is a biggie.
Alot of women fall for it like bowling pins. | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:39:17 PM | That is what my dad taught me, cause he said women are perceived then as aggressive, and men don't like aggressive women.
I don't see that in my experience. I know men who are p-whipped and hen pecked by women in their lives. They whine about it then crawl back to her with his tail between his legs.
I am more comfortable not to pursue men. | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 12:43:19 AM | It's less about 'rules' and more to do with each's personality.
I for one am typically the forward one, and I'm drawn to shyer men who appreciate that I like to take things slowly. I may initiate the communications but not in a pressuring way. Also, I take my cue from their response. If a guy is receptive, I continue. If I get turned down twice in a row, I'm done with him unless he explains a different reason, and asks for a raincheck: in THAT case, I tell him HE can call ME.
;-)
Of course there are guys who view romance as a conquest so in that case I'd say they would be more attracted to women who aren't the aggressors. | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 1:02:27 AM | At work tonight someone reminded us that Dinah Shore was a woman men loved and wanted to date, yet women also liked her a lot as well. She was great at golf and tennis, great business woman. pretty yet strong.
She is the type of woman who I see as pursing a man in the right way. Not needy, not desperate, not clingy or bossy. Read back in the eighties that men loved being asked to come on her show, help with her golf tournaments.
~Beth~ | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:15:43 AM |
I knew that there were men who sat back and waited for the women to approach. It's a control issue for them more than anything.
I thought it was a "control issue" for men who had to be the ones who did the approaching, asking, and pursuing. 
So, is there any way for guys to not be on the hook, to not be subject to the "control issue" charge?
I should also note that your making the above quoted claim will just strengthen the idea in many men that women who absolutely require a man to do the pursuing do so because of "control issues". 
Or are you going to try and go into double-talk mode and claim that's not the case?
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:25:20 AM |
I wouldn't know if it would work for me, because I don't ask men out. I never have.
It must be age/generation issue then. All the women on this page alone are over 40.
And I am dealing with women in their 20s. So I guess times have changed ...
This is what they call "generation gap", I believe.
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:42:12 AM | Hahaha.
If a woman doesn't call me or show that they care in the beginning of a relationship I will find someone who does.
Also, asking me out almost guarantees you a date as long as I'm even remotely attracted to you.
Funny, huh? | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:56:33 AM | It must be age/generation issue then. All the women on this page are alone over 40. And I am dealing with women in their 20s. So I guess times have changed...
This is what the "generation gap", I believe.
When it comes to boys and girls there is not much different of my generation in my hottie days.. In my days we entice a man with our smile,food ,good attitude ,we don't pursue, we are not sl*tty but naughty, and we are very subtle, for the fear of being branded as wh*re and no body will marry us....
My observation to this generation , a woman pursue a man with her sex/ if she is old with her money. I have seen it with my own eyes . So I know what I am talking about. Still using the old method enticing and luring.....  | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:21:56 AM | My scenario is none of those. I see a guy in a bar I like. I make eye contact and smile. He smiles back. Then either I or him go approach and etc.....Has worked for me many times going back to when I was 18.
I'm not afraid to approach a guy I want or to email or suggest a date to a guy I like. It works better for me this way online because most times I'm not crazy about the men that contact me on here. | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:29:06 AM | dr ruthless[[[[It is refreshing to see how some brighter ones here realize that with inaction something terrible happens, nothing.]]]]
So be it. It's not terrible to me, because I don't want anything to happen, if I have to do the asking.But I don't see more aggressive women as brighter than me...just different. Some men are not into aggressive women, and THAT is the kind of man I happen to want, so I am bright enough to not be the initiator. It really is a matter of what the individual seeks in the opposite sex. I wouldn't say either is right or wrong. | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:35:18 AM | How many women here in search of a LTR are STILL looking and STILL waiting for a "keeper" to contact THEM?
Not hard to surmise that most SANE ["keeper"] men are going to STOP sending emails not long after they get here based on the results of their efforts.
A woman need not be a Rocket Scientist to do the math here. Any woman who can balance a checkbook SHOULD be able to figure it out. | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:42:54 AM | Hi! This is my very first attempt in any of the forums...pardon my ignorance!
To the subject matter...met a wonderful man and on our initial meeting (after phone calls on a nightly basis) hit it off right away and spent most of the day together.
Then NOTHING!!! Let two phone messages as he had had the flu. One week later it's "We are friends...I live in a used mobile home...I can take care of myself". Where did I go wrong? This last call was this past Tuesday. Pleas advise me!!! | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 10:06:04 AM | There are three kinds of females
Girls- chase boys and push them in the sandbox hoping he will come back and pull her pigtails. More often he just runs away.
Women- refuse to chase men 'cause the sandbox plan didn't work so well. They get weak in the knees when a guy takes charge and wonder years later why he seems to think he is the boss or wont listen to her opinions.... or why now that he has her he seems to be spending so much time with his secretary.
Ladies- having reconciled the girl and the woman in themselves take plays from both strategy books. She looks for the guy that has the valuable attributes she desires and picks him out of the crowd. Then she reals him in while making him believe he actually had a choice in the matter.
*heh* The trick for a fellow is to know which one you are dealing with. If the female you are interested in is a girl, jump up from the sandbox and instead of running away play tag. If she is a woman then chase her and make her feel special, and eventually make her realize that she got you by simple luck. If she is a lady then you better just be yourself because that is who she picked and you were never really happy playing the game with the girls or women anyway. | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 12:22:41 PM |
Ladies- having reconciled the girl and the woman in themselves take plays from both strategy books. She looks for the guy that has the valuable attributes she desires and picks him out of the crowd. Then she reals him in while making him believe he actually had a choice on the matter.
That's correct..If woman got a man's attention and that is the time for her to make a *kill*. | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:19:20 PM | | i have no prob chatting to somone i really like but i have to have some sort of contact with eyes or a smile to go over. its not persuing but showing you like somone, and answering your message of women wanting drinks and stuff im not one them, i have been known to buy the first drink..........rare i know for a woman ha ha. i feel it shouls be a two way thing in this day and age, some men are shy and so wont approach a woman in a group , sam as a woman to a man but hay my mum always said .............if you dont ask you dont get ...........xx | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:26:10 PM | | ^ Indeed. My closest female friends keep reminding me that "the right one isn't just going to fall from the sky," but many people (myself, unfortunately, included) still use that approach. It's unfortunate that half the time when I'm reminded of this we're indoor climbing, and the logical part of my brain points out that it could happen under the right circumstances... | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 3:26:09 PM |
YES WOMEN SHOULDN'T PURSUE MEN PERIOD
Women, don't ever try to go against the nature period
Wanderingsoul, how do you come up with the conclusion that if a woman pursues a man she is going against nature? Why shouldn't a woman be able to express her interest in a man without upsetting the natural order? If a woman is attracted to a man and wants to get to know him, why should she sit back and play the waiting game, like a southern belle waiting for her gentleman callers or beaus to come to the door and woo her? Aren't we past that stereotype where the man has to be the one to take the initiative while the woman waits and hopes for him to make the first move? I would certainly hope so.
I know enough about men to realize they enjoy and respond to being approached and I have enough confidence and self-esteem that a "No, thank you" isn't going to crush me or bring me to tears. If we want to be treated as equals then it's time we start acting as equals. Why should men run all the risk of being rejected and always have to take the initiative? I pursued my late husband and it was the best relationship of my life until now. How sad to think we may have missed being together because I was afraid of being rejected or that it may 'go against nature'. That is absurd!
I hoped that most women would be past that stereotype of initiative. I completely agree about if women want to be treated as equals, then similarly they should act like equals. I always hope and strive for equal amounts of integrity in a relationship. | |
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| IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 3:55:46 PM |
Women, don't ever try to go against the nature period
In what era was this period because I’ve not heard of it until now?
I know enough about men to realize they enjoy and respond to being approached and I have enough confidence and self-esteem that a "No, thank you" isn't going to crush me or bring me to tears.
Rejection sucks; but the good part is the knowledge another will come along as they’ve not stopped making hot men.
That's just a bunch of 1950's mentality right there. "A good woman does (this)", "A good woman doesn't do (that)".
I never got that memo, BDJ because waaay back when I was merely 19 I approached my first real love, “Can I buy you a beer?” was my opening line.
I am 55 yrs. young. A long time ago women did not pursue men. That's just something we were taught when young.
I learned to discard things that didn’t make sense when I was very, very young. And I do not remember ever being told that.
You also have very many men who feel they have to make the first move when it comes to all the sexual advances, even during a lt, or they'd never get any. Do you think there's any correlation?
As to who makes the first move? I would think not. But I am certain that these men that are initiating allllll the sexual advances are with less than passionate women. At least passionate for them. Many persons settle for relationships without any real carnal desire for the other; just fear of being alone I’d say.
However unfair it might seem, I hold to the belief that SINCE we live in a world in which certain gendered expectations HAVE existed and haven’t just DISAPPEARED (at least among my generation where I live), that a man’s unwillingness to ask someone out for the first time DOES carry with it different meaning than a woman’s unwillingness to do so.
Well, I do not live in the ‘world’; I live in America and here this “ask some out” is no different for man or woman……..then again you are in Arkansas.
There is NO tradition inhibiting men in this way as has been the case of women until VERY recently.
Yes there is. It was not so long ago that it was considered improper for a man to speak to a woman he’d not been properly introduced to.
In my days we entice a man with our smile,food
Would you please refrain from saying “we”. You do not speak for me. Never, in my entire life have I ‘enticed’ a man with food. Most men could care less about food when they are hot for a woman. Guys love to dine, but……..
The trick for a fellow is to know which one you are dealing with. If the female you are interested in is a girl, jump up from the sandbox and instead of running away play tag. If she is a woman then chase her and make her feel special, and eventually make her realize that she got you by simple luck. If she is a lady then you better just be yourself because that is who she picked and you were never really happy playing the game with the girls or women anyway.~cdbergerac~
I love that! Cheers, cd  | |
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