| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:51:50 AM |
Cats",with respect,im having trouble with your expression "allow themselves to be used for sex"......coz,imo,whether you're male OR female,how can anyone "use" you for sex,unless you're BOTH willing parties..............................
Okay got what you are saying now.. I just have to ignore them crying on the message boards at times.. 
I got used blah blah blah
thecatsmeoww | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:54:29 AM | Well, I do admit to being conflicted when it comes to beautiful women. Something to do with being male, I think.
Actually, I admit to being conflicted when it comes to just about any of the hedonistic pleasures. I am probably just morally weak....
...I know what you mean...it was so good I felt I had to marry him. And the thing is, even when the marriage failed, I really didn't want to give up the "good parts"
Edit to add: I'm joking of course, I would not have married someone for just that reason, there were other reasons too...trying to think....thinking.
...maeflowers | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:56:32 AM | Also the ones that are conned.. Hardening my heart here to all these stories of woe.
thecatsmeoww | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:02:20 AM | now OP, if that is a serious question I think you just need to visit your
local tack shop and get that "little head" suited up with a special harness.
Oh yeah, then practice (in private of course) galloping around saying,
"WHOOOA!".....and a hearty "hiho silver awaaaay"--- --whatever
works. | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:08:39 AM | you don't have to marry me, Mae, and you can probably get here before Daffie.... | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:26:51 AM | ^geez...dunno about that...
i'm now having second thoughts...
you're very fickle... | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:28:15 AM | | Many different types of male - female relationships exist. Most of my lady friends are platonic friends and I am almost as close to some of them as I am to my sisters. These women do not sexually interest me at all and never have. Other lady friends are women I formerly dated both long and short term. I had sex with some of them but did not with others. A few of these are FWB's but most are not. I have also known a few women where our relationship was only sexual. We were so attracted to one another we just had to get it on even though we both knew things could never work out between us. | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:28:46 AM |
I am probably just morally weak....
that's my favourite kind of man!
 | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:30:46 AM |
you're very fickle...
Naw....in Quebec we have this expression: Menage-a-trois..... | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:39:36 AM | ^between you and i...
i was thinking the same thing...
but i wouldn't like to appear presumptous...
(especially to mae)... | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:41:20 AM | | Ms Mae is a Ukrainian....they make the French girls look like prudes.....no need to worry! | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:27:03 AM | cat - msg 5
I honestly thought it was only men that wanted to hop in the sack by the 3rd date. Now I am learning there are plenty of women that feel likewise
Why to wait until the third date? Get friendly right away. | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:13:32 AM |
Why to wait until the third date? Get friendly right away.
No thanks I will gladly pass on that one..
thecatsmeoww | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 11:29:01 AM | All my relationships started as friends, (except my 2nd husband, which didn't last long, my bad). Because I really don't get friendly with men, unless I have an attraction. I do have a few long time male friends that is not the case. Most of the time, my male friendships starts, because I have an attraction to them. If it works into something, fine. If not, we're still platonic friends. I do have to like you, in fact, very much to get intimate with you. That is all there is to it. If I couldn't be your friend, I can't sleep with you.
outdoorgirl | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 11:34:56 AM |
If I couldn't be your friend, I can't sleep with you.
I used to feel that way, but what with the economy and all, I have gotten quite used to sleeping with total strangers down at the Mission Hall, particularly on cold wet nights. Its really not so bad, especially when compared to a sleeping in a cardboard box over a hot air vent.
Really, you have to adapt to the times... | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 11:49:47 AM |
lonely women that allow themselves to be used for sex
Cats, seems to me that what you're describing is a woman hoping to *use* or commit a guy to her by using sex as bait. And she's going to whine mightily if it does not work, lol! If we are not all free agents on this planet, what are we? (Yes, I recognize there are cultures where women ARE used for sex, and against their will -- but no one at PoF fits that profile, eh?)
 | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 11:58:46 AM |
Also the ones that are conned.. Hardening my heart here to all these stories of woe.
thecatsmeoww
Ahhh Cat, you have a heart of stone! lol | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:26:43 PM |
Ahhh Cat, you have a heart of stone! lol
I can call that one up well tooo.. especially when my back is against a wall..
thecatsmeoww | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:30:32 PM |
Cats, seems to me that what you're describing is a woman hoping to *use* or commit a guy to her by using sex as bait.
I do not think any women is that far out of the loop it is she?????
thecatsmeoww | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:07:20 PM | Aw c-mon O/P,
your a guy, and you already know every guy out there has harbored secret thoughts about having sex with any female friend, co-worker, school teacher, sears catalog, clerk at 7-eleven, burger king, home depot or arobic chick on TV, plus any other arousing woman he's ever been near.
she may not meet the "hot chick" qualification, however if the lights were turned off -or we were drunk, etc.
(not all in great detail) just if sex would be possible, exciting or something to do. and the most important thing, if sex would COMPLICATE things too much to attempt...
were not cavemen, just exploring all our opportunities, hiding our dark feelings away -however we keep those feelings safely locked away -and the right combination could open that can of worms...
any guy who deny's he's ever thought sexual feelings about a female "friend" probibly claims he's never masturbated either.
what do you expect when a gal wants to pal around with us, soft skin, pretty face, perfume, transing eyes, sexy feminine voice, nice breasts and great ass, and when she gives you that dainty touch on the arm when she giggles -your dyin to taste her passion...
-its just the way the male species thinks -get over it or become a lesbian...
Most of the time its just a thought in passing, however if your a woman and you've ever been around a guy who fancys you
(trust me)
-HE HAS THOUGHT ABOUT YOU NAKED
-I'm quite sure there are lots of women who do the same thing -probibly why a number of "friends" do end up playing out their fantasys, he'll keep his thoughts (and his hands) to himself, until she gives him that hmmmm.... look
Its probibly safer to start out as friends and carry on until you see where the relationship goes -maybe you two will play it cool and just be friends, or your sparks will ignite in passion  | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:04:41 PM | I do not think any women is that far out of the loop it is she?????
thecatsmeoww
Lol! Go check out the heart broke threads, or the dating threads. . . . *ANY TIME* a woman claims to have been used for sex, that's the paradigm: she was hoping to seal the deal, and it didn't work. . . .
If it was consensual ~~ i.e., she was as interested in it as he was ~~ no then fair claiming you were used. . . . even if he doesn't come back for more.
| |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:36:54 PM | Some will dispute what I think. They will dispute it because there have been cases where two friends became a couple but ....
From minute one - a potential boy/girl match is TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Totally different than a potential friendship match.
Sorrry kids - the "friendship" part comes after "oh my - I want THAT".
I am not talking about fast (early) sex. If it is a match the sex will happen and it makes no difference when.
I am talking about boy/girl thinking. Viewing each other as a potential boy/girl match NOT a friend match.
Yes - you better like each other soon, very soon and BECOME friends ..... but that is after the boy/girl thinking/desires.
-------------
Attempt to prove me wrong all you want. The boy/girl relationship (potential) is first. Everything else (friends you better be) comes after.
-------------
Personally I have never been surprised.
If I was after her "stuff" - I knew it from the first minute.
If I was after her and her stuff - I also knew that from the first minute. | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:58:23 PM | Why can't you be a Friend and Lover? I have managed to stay friends with two woman That were once Lovers. The only reason I was with them in the first place is because we were compatible and enjoyed each others company. I loved both but it just was not a everlasting love. No Mess break ups no screaming or cheating or I hate your guts type of thing we just realized we could never be together for the long term.
There wasn't a fairy tail ending. | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:25:57 PM |
Naw....in Quebec we have this expression: Menage-a-trois.....
^between you and i...
i was thinking the same thing...
but i wouldn't like to appear presumptous...
(especially to mae)...
...A Menage-a-trois? I think the only one being presumptous is rearguard
Ms Mae is a Ukrainian....they make the French girls look like prudes.....no need to worry!
...Ukrainian indeed (Not that there's anything wrong with being Ukrainian you understand)...but I have been called a hot blooded little Metis on more than one occasion.
...maeflowers | |
|
| Friend vs. Lover?
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:40:06 PM | OP
I'm with Daffie on the difference between friends and lovers.
Although it is true that I would never get in bed with someone whose personality I didn't like. But "best friends" takes years and years to develop.....( I have a best friend, we met in 1980...that's 29 years of friendship).
There are different kinds of love and intimacy. If you are dating it is unrealistic to expect that you will be best friends before you ever have sex..... | |
|
Home
login 
