| Creepy
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:59:00 PM | A smart woman's intuition is very useful. I don't understand why many women are so desperate to meet guys who even aren't average joes...... | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:06:12 PM | | i had a guy do something similar to me only he had not given me fair warning of how he'd do. it almost scared me away from any future online dating but i decided to give it a try anyway. the only good thing i could say about that experience was at least he had done the driving instead of me. i learned to make first meets very short and not a dinner event. parking lots and malls are great to just meet and say if you are attracted or not. | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:14:04 PM |
!st dates no matter where you meet the guy in this day and age should be meeting at the public place 1st... Does anyone else agree with me?
Totally agree. Always meet at a public place for the first couple of times. I also just figure I'm going to be paying my own way when meeting someone for the first time. Been pleasantly surprised a couple of times but generally speaking.. | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:49:53 PM | Ahappygal, please don't be judgemental,sometimes intuition is faulty and some women are not a mind reader or psychic, to know the guys that are not average Joe.
If we women won't go out to meet guys how would we know if they are above average,average Joe, or not ?
So you consider yourself NOT desperate that you are on this dating line , and you never encountered a bad guy ? Obviously ,this is a hang out of good and bad guy if you don't know ..
You have to understand yourself before you can understand other women. So don't be HOLIER THAN THOU ................ | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:52:42 PM |
I don't think I've ever heard of anyone who was so easily rendered "incredulous" by something so remarkably benign. I can only imagine what might have happened if he had stuck around.
Alleged Creep: So, shall we order?
You: ***hole! (Throw drink in AC's face).
(Later)
AC: Care to order dessert?
You: (Douse AC with gasoline; ignite)
Also, this is not "creepy". If he showed up with a sack of quicklime and repeatedly asked if you were sure nobody knew who you were on a date with, that would be creepy. If he suggested you two meet for a candlelit dinner immediately next to the ballpit at Chuck E. Cheese's, that would be creepy. If he returned a pair of your panties that he looted from the laundromat while your back was turned, that would be creepy. This is, at worst, garden variety rudeness.
You sound like quite a catch! Why bother with compromise and negotiation in a budding relationship when you can play the part of an unyielding adolescent who never outgrew her princess complex instead?
I think I love you...
OT: Yeah, not creepy. Annoying? For sure. Inconvenient? Yup. But like others have said, and even you , you knew what you were in for (he warned you ahead of time) and yet you decided to meet him anyway. As such, you own the blame on this one darlin'.
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:25:54 PM |
A smart woman's intuition is very useful. I don't understand why many women are so desperate to meet guys who even aren't average joes...
I am glad for you that you have not encountered below average joes . Not like the rest of us... You must be a smart woman with a very useful intuition. Good for you | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/6/2009 11:17:48 PM | | Sounds like he didn't have any money and didn't know how to tell you. | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:07:52 AM | The things he was saying before even meeting you were Red Flags!! I would NOT have met up with him if that crap was spewing out of his mouth. He showed you his lovely character right off the bat and yet you still choose to see him and why?
I would reassess your own boundaries and stick to them. JMO | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:01:22 AM |
I am glad for you that you have not encountered below average joes . Not like the rest of us... You must be a smart woman with a very useful intuition. Good for you
Thanks! You look for a good hearted man so should know what a good hearted man looks like. Useful intuition comes from analyzing and evaluating the information you obtain. OP seeks a man who inspires her. The interesting thing was that the man negatively inspired her. She still went to meet him when the man warned OP the following:
...when he goes on first date, if he’s not interested, he’d rather just leave.
OP looked beautiful on her pictures so was confident about the meeting. She didn't care about if the man was good hearted or not. From the man's warning, he wasn't good hearted. His warning meant that he didn't care about OP even if he would meet her. In addition, he wasn't thankful to OP as she drove over 40 miles for the meeting and went away with an excuse. The man is crap! A good hearted man should be nice to a woman he is meeting... | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:16:06 AM | | I'm working on the boundary stuff. | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:01:36 AM | Not sure why you bothered. "He seemed like and OK guy". He asked you to drive 40 miles. You thought he was rude before you even met him. Had you seen a picture of him - you didn't say. His profile tried to hard to impress.
Doesn't sound like a recipe for a good date. Be more picky next time. | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:28:08 AM | It sounds like he has social/dating anxiety. Or he had too many of similar blind dating "attempts" before you and got sick at the thought of facing another one.
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:38:47 AM | | Maybe it was some kind of anxiety problem for him I don't know. | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:06:04 AM |
I'm working on the boundary stuff.
I mean this in the most constructive way possible...
Drop the pop-psych crap and just use common sense. It works better and is a lot easier to understand. | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:36:50 PM | | I don't think it's fair of you to make that assumption that guys are lazy nowdays and expect you to drive to them. I've had a lot of 1st dates in here and I've always driven to meet my 'dates' and would never put that imposition on them. If all guys labeled all women from the few bad experiences we've had while dating as 'all women these days act this way'...none of us would ever be meeting...much less trusting each other. | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/8/2009 6:17:52 AM | He sounds creepy and conceited. In the future this kind of behavior might jump out at you a little earlier, having seen this. You can either turn down the date based on the suspicion that he won't give you much of a real chance or play his own game: Limit your own "loss" by being sure you drive equal distances to the date (or maybe even a little less for you than him!) or only agree to drinks rather than dinner.
It sucks that rather than really giving each other a chance on a date you immediately just try to protect yourself by making it easy to bail at the first possible negative sign - probably means the relationship is doomed anyway.... | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/8/2009 6:51:32 AM | | Oh my goodness OP, a guys worst fear is rejection and you are beautiful. Too bad he didn't think that about himself. | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/8/2009 10:32:11 PM |
The guy sounds nervous as hell......shoulda took a big hit of whiskey from a flask before he went in the restaurant.
Sounds like extreme social anxiety.
My thoughts exactly! He was feeling an attack of the runs coming on ~ poor guy
Next time he needs to take Immodium beforehand | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/9/2009 3:12:14 PM | this is a terrible thread...
I really hope the guy you dated doesn't read what yiou posted..
seriously..
he sounded like a very insecure guy..
anxious, trying to impress with stuff etc.
if he reads your post, he prob. give up on trying to meet anyone!
what is wrong with "women" these days..?
so insensitive and disrespectfull
"shall we go in?"
if you took offence with that, there's nothing he could have said to satisfy you.
holy cr*p.. so what's a guy to say..?
"get off your fat lardy a** and get inside right now"
"take off that ridiculous lipstick and put on a different color "
I could go on and on all day..lol | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/9/2009 4:27:21 PM |
"shall we go in?"
if you took offence with that, there's nothing he could have said to satisfy you.
It's all in the context of what was said.
If he was meekly asking "Should we go in?", I can understand why a woman would be miffed.
Women don't like passive, indecisive type men.
That said, I don't understand why she decided to meet him anyway.
The Red flags were there!
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/10/2009 2:35:38 AM | What difference does it make if he asked that question, meekly?
If a women senses weakness, the rational response is for her to get angry??? This kinda crap is what frustrates me about people in general. How can I view something so completely different that some(most?) people.
If I were to encounter a girl on a meeting and she asked something "meekly", my inclination would not be to get pissed at her. In fact, I'd be accomodating as to ease her nervousness. Not because I'd be trying to be some white knight but because I wouldn't want to spend the whole time in awkwardness. But to be rude or think rude thoughts over a simple question that was presented less than boldly.....amazing!
Maybe the guy sensed this attitude in HER and knew from the get go there was nothing he could do/say to appease her, so he mentally checked out before he physically checked out. I've been able to sum someone up pretty quickly by huge personality no-no's they've displayed....sometimes you just know by someone's actions it just won't work.
For me it's high maintenance and rudeness. | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/10/2009 3:59:37 AM | Fairy,
It really sounds as if this wimp needs a shrink or already has a male lover...It`s hard to comprehend how some men can actually ask a woman out and than don`t know what to do!
Sorry for your horrible experience. | |
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/10/2009 4:51:41 AM |
What difference does it make if he asked that question, meekly?
If a women senses weakness, the rational response is for her to get angry??? This kinda crap is what frustrates me about people in general. How can I view something so completely different that some(most?) people.
If I were to encounter a girl on a meeting and she asked something "meekly", my inclination would not be to get pissed at her. In fact, I'd be accomodating as to ease her nervousness. Not because I'd be trying to be some white knight but because I wouldn't want to spend the whole time in awkwardness. But to be rude or think rude thoughts over a simple question that was presented less than boldly.....amazing!
Maybe the guy sensed this attitude in HER and knew from the get go there was nothing he could do/say to appease her, so he mentally checked out before he physically checked out. I've been able to sum someone up pretty quickly by huge personality no-no's they've displayed....sometimes you just know by someone's actions it just won't work.
For me it's high maintenance and rudeness.
I'm only one man, so my perspective is different from yours.
I tend to attract submissive women who prefer dominant men, so I can't see myself in the situation presented by the OP.
I would never ask "Should we go in?", like a meek and mild type....
The way I pictured it, he was unsure of himself and that is not attractive to women.
Women have told me this........on a date, a man should lead and be in charge.
If the guy came across as weak and passive, he's likely to get a bad response.
Then again I could be wrong about the whole scenario, it's just how I perceived it.
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| Creepy
Posted: 11/10/2009 10:46:10 AM | I did not give the guy attitude before we went in. I did not say "um, yeah" in a snotty way - but with a laugh.
I'd never had a guy ask me that, so I was surprised & felt awkward in the situation. And like I said - he'd asked, "What if we're not attracted to each other?" when I was on my way to see him. | |
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