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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:36:20 PM | | There can be several things going on causing your pain. I went through a few doctors before I found one that actually ran the right test and found what was wrong. You can have an infection in the lining of your uterus, cyst can be causing this, fibroid tumors, enlarge uterus, could be titled wrong, polycystic ovarian syndrome could be another....numerous things could be causing this or just one. You definitely need to see a doctor and if you can find a good fertility doctor, he would most likely be able to find it. They seem to run better test. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:18:26 PM | Im sure I have no idea how to answer your question .... but I will ask a similar question ... almost every time me and my wife have sex and get real psychical .. she bleeds ...she says she has no pain ...and is multi orgasmic ....and she really enjoys rougher sex... she has had two children vaginally and we have been together many years ... I consider myself average in size .. she has also been to the doctor and has been told nothing is wrong ...this has only been happening for the last few years ... ...sometimes she bleeds quiet a lot but it..stops soon after sex .the blood is a bright red not like her period flow ....it seems to happen in all positions when she really gets into it and does a lot of thrusting back at me ... like i said she says it dont hurt and dont make her sore ... we usually dont know she is bleeding till she gets up or if we notice the blood on me ...but I feel it is making her hold back and sacrifice her enjoyment ..im not trying to hijack the ops thread I just was thought this might be relevant..as it is a similar issue
VVVVVV
we have not asked an OB doctor as we dont have one she has had a tubal and we cant get pregnant ..the doctor was her GYN and all she said is she can find nothing wrong
VVVVVV | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:28:54 PM | | deerdog1... see my post above yours and hopefully that will give her something to ask her doctor. Everything I mentioned in the post I had. The one that caused me to bleed during sex was the infection and tumors. Again, I found the fertility doctor was the only one who ran the correct test. OB docs are so busy delivering babies they tend to push you out of their office so fast they miss things. Hope this helps. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:58:18 PM | Yep. certain positions hurt me with guys who are well endowed. Especially if I sit all the way down when I'm on top and from behind.
Does it hurt just in certain positions or is the pain constant during sex? If it hurts all the way through sex, no matter how you change things up, you may wanna see your gyno to see if you have a minor infection...that can make sex hurt. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:34:07 PM |
I would definitely like to experience the “thrill” of long sex sessions, and, doing it because I want to, not because I feel like I should.
Well, that's part of your problem!
Obviously you are not warmed up enough if you are doing it because you think you SHOULD.
NEVER have sex unless 'YOU' WANT to!
Why can he not simply adjust his thrust?
If it hurst then make him stop...he'll get the hint.
My ex was a big boy so he had to make sure I was good and ready for him and I could only handle him to a point.
I want to be able to enjoy it again, without having to bite a pillow so I don’t scream and cry out from the pain it’s causing me (Which, might sound awesome…If you’re a guy). I couldn’t even go on top for longer than a minute with him, or, I’d be in severe abdominal pain, and popping Tylenol from the cramping it was giving me.
Why would you continue if it's THAT painful?
Pain is a signal that you are doing something wrong or that there is something wrong.
Especially if you are on top and in control of how deep he is going...assuming you are controlling it.
If so, I'd go back to the doctor and force them to listen to you because if you were able to enjoy sex before and you can't anymore then there's probably something new happening that's wrong.
Go down to your local hardware store and buy a roll of either Packing or Duck Tape
Holy crap Avalon!
Please tell me you have not Mcgivered your lady's vagina!!! 
The hair scrunchies is a good idea. I think I just assumed men couldn't help but, put it all in. Now that I know that though!
Do you really think sopping up your lubrication with a scrunchie will help matters and make sex somehow LESS painful?
Just tell him to adjust his thrust.
Forget the scrunchies...they would be unsanitary not to mention being a huge fashion DON'T.
almost every time me and my wife have sex and get real psychical .. she bleeds ...she says she has no pain ...and is multi orgasmic ....and she really enjoys rougher sex
The vaginal walls get thinner as women age so if it's too rough she will bleed.
she has had two children vaginally and we have been together many years
I'm assuming that the babies were not repeatedly trying to pound their way back in?
the blood is a bright red not like her period flow
That's because the blood is fresh and local.
but I feel it is making her hold back and sacrifice her enjoyment
Try more lubrication. Less friction will mean less chance of tearing. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:36:01 AM | Hi hi hi!
It wouldn't let me comment earlier, so, here I am!
Anyways, wow.
You have all posted a LOT of interesting concepts/theories/causes etc. I'm going to make another apointment with my doctor, and essentially ask him if it could be any of the reasons listed here. =)
THen maybe he'll underedstand the severity of it, for myself.
As for penetration, so far I've noticed that me, sitting forward while "Riding" him, is bar none the worst. I can ride, facing away from him, and leaning forward. Though, I am CONSTANTLY demanding that he "Relax" his pelvis, as, he always stiffens up. Which, if he's relaxed, he doesn't penetrate so far.
Doggy style is another one that works, but, I have to kind'of, "Adjust" my cookie, over an inch, then...He can pound me like a jack hammer.
If he's on top, I can't put my legs up, because, it goes WAAAAAAY to far in, plus, I have to****my hip a little bit, and get his penis shifted a little bit beside my cervix.
Speaking of cervix...
I had my six year old with a midwife (But, at a Hospital, just in case...), and she told me that I had a "Shallow" vag. I didn't really give a damn about her comment, as, she was a very eccentric lady, and said strange things about my no-no all the time.
BUT, last night I tried what some lady suggested, about feeling where your cervix is. When doing so, I noticed that it's more, tilted, and, if we're thinking of the vag' as an upside down U, my cervix would be about two inches down from the very top, and, on the same side as the wall seperating your butt and vag'...If that makes any sense.
=/ | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:20:23 AM | | If I were you I would go to the doctor and see if there is something wrong it should not be hurting you that badly. You may have ovarian cysts. I have that and from time to time it hurts me horribly to have sex. If nothing else, try to take a pain pill before hand and see if that works. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:43:04 AM | I say he's hitting your cervix...
He needs to know better what he is doing. I being a really big guy myself I have had to learn ways to have a great time and make sure I don't cause my partner any discomfort.
Slowing down is one thing that might help. Once a woman is fully aroused she can handle a larger guy better.
Communication is the key as always. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:51:42 AM | So you are still with this boyfriend? For some reason I thought he was from teh past. Oops!
Yeah it really could be where your cervix is... if it is just 2 inches down and the midwife said your vagina was shallow.
Also esp if different positions feel different.
Get a buttplug. Seriously. I think the one I got was like "my first buttplug" for beginners. LOL it is small and soft, no vibrator or anything.
But it will "adjust" your vagina a little so it is tilted differently.
I'm betting it was under $15 and perhaps under $10, a cheap investment to try.
THis might be TMI..lol but I checked mine and right now (and I'm on the pill), I can't reach mine. It's way more than 2 inches back. Wait, I tried again (LOL) yeah it's in there....but waaay back.
Any other ladies willing to check? LOL
So hmmm...could just be where your cervix is and you need to keep him angled so he isn't hitting it.
What about reverse cowgirl? That might help??
Try the plug...
ETA: decided to google cervix position and found this:
3.Don’t check your cervical position during or after sex. Your cervix actually moves around according to your level of sexual arousal, regardless of ovulation.
Thought that was interesting...so could more foreplay help things as well w/your bf??? (the article was about checking it for fertility purposes which is why I used to do it) | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/7/2009 12:39:58 PM |
I talked to two doctors about it, they...Told me not to worry about it, that, I was probably just "Overreacting". Mmhm.
Find a new doctor. Seriously. It doesn't sound to me like you necessarily have a chronic vulvar pain condition, but 20% of women will develop vulvar pain in their lifetimes. These women will see an average or 5-6 doctors before getting a correct diagnosis. There is no excuse for your doctor's ignorance, and you need to see someone who will take your complaints seriously, diagnose you correctly, and get you the medical help you need. Anyone who tells you that you're "overreacting" is NOT the person to do that. Find a better doctor, and get a referral to a vulvar pain specialist or pelvic pain specialist if you need one (yes, they exist, and they're usually much more equipped to deal with these things than most gynecologists). If it's a muscular problem, you should get a referral to a specialized physical therapist or biofeedback therapist who can help you to retrain those muscles.
As to a shallow vagina:
Vaginas elongate when you're aroused; the cervis is typically 2-3 inches in most of the time, until it lifts as your body gets ready to accommodate penetration. Are you always properly aroused before sex?
It could be that you are simply more sensitive to longer c*cks and will need to be more careful with them, but I'd definitely look into this first. Especially since you mention having had no problem with larger c*cks previously.
But the first step is a properly educated doctor who will take your concerns seriously. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:03:47 PM | I agree.
I have an appointment set up this coming week, I'll ask for a "Vulvar pain specialist", if they don't give me the proper, attention.
Thanks again, everyone! | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/8/2009 4:33:40 AM | | Yes I know about pain. The FACT of reality the vaginal is 5 inches and not more than 6 inches long. Anything that tries to go beyond 5 or 6 inches is hitting the cervix, the entrance to the birth canal. A penis should not go beyond 5 or 6 inches because there is no pleasure for the man or woman to be had going that far. If you are tight, at the entrance, as I am, use lots of K Y Lube. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:03:00 AM | What bionic kitten said, or the PID.
Other infections, like yeast won't cause what you're talking about. Trust me, if you have yeast you'll know it and WON'T want sex till it's better.
If you're only 23? many guys in your age range do not know how to properly warm you up, some do but don't bother. (and some THINK they do and will never learn till you tell them...).
Don't let him in till he has you begging for it. The only time I've ever felt any pain is when therewasn't enough "warm up" If he doesn't cooperate with this, or isn't interested in your pleasure....dump him NOW and don't look back | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:25:16 AM |
Other infections, like yeast won't cause what you're talking about. Trust me, if you have yeast you'll know it and WON'T want sex till it's better.
That's not necessarily true. The first yeast infection I had, I had no idea was there until I got cultured for it. I also have a friend who had a lot of pain during sex and found out she had a rare strain of bacterial vaginosis that was causing a lot of the problem for her.
It's always worth checking these options when there's a problem like this.
And yes, PID is definitely worth looking into on this one. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:39:25 PM | I don't think I've had one. I've heard that YOU KNOW when you have one, which, leads me to further believe that I really haven't had one.
I've looked up the symptoms at least ten times, yet, can't relate to any strain of Yeast infection.
So, I think I've ruled that out.
I'm thinking, too, it might be a lack of stimulation.
I'm not attracted to him. While his body is fine, it's just...He's not very intelligent. Which, for me, is a major part of what I need from my partner.
He has many other good qualities, and, I'm sure, will make some lesser intelligent lady, very happy.
Probably why I am not trying very hard to get back together with him. Maybe it's many factors, indeed. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:53:47 PM | | or bad medicine. more common than you think. I have had more than enough yeast problems to know full well what I am talking about thank you, young one. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:54:32 PM | | OP, if you're not that into him, I suggest you stop having painful sex with him and wait until you find someone that you really like and are actually attracted to. This may be a case of your body trying to tell you something, but I suspect you won't know what the real story is until you have sex with someone you really want to be f*cking. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/8/2009 3:55:22 PM | | I have dated guys that were very well endowed.Sometimes guys that big think that being large means they don't have to put as much effort into foreplay. In reality you need a lot of foreplay in order to be lubricated enough to enjoy their size. Otherwise there will be pain or discomfort. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:23:38 PM | When you say that even when you are on top it still hurts, I would be concerned. I am assuming that you would control the depth and location in that position, so his length probably wouldn't be a factor. Do you try to keep it shallow?
My ex had a similar problem and it turns out that she had an extra fold of skin in her vagina that caused her pain. It was a problem for us in the bedroom, no question. Sex was something she dreaded even if I suggested that there was no penetration. You need to have some intercourse and pin-point the pain. Try a dildo and see if it causes the same thing. Then keep trying gynecologists until someone does some tests. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:02:00 PM | I think you should seek medical advice from your gyne to make sure nothing is "broken"
She/he should be able to guide you from there. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:48:16 PM | | If you are having real pain during sex, then yes, you should see a doctor. Pain during intercourse can be a physical medical problem which should not be overlooked nor avoided to check out. If you check it out, and there is no physical problem, then ok. But most of the time when a woman experiences real pain, then yes there is a physical problem. Just make sure you check it out to eliminate serious health problems. Also, the bigger the guy, of course, you will have pain. I had one guy so big, that when he really thrusted, wow it hurt. Men seem to think that when they pound that cervix, its great... yeah well to them it is... but sometimes, when a man is really really big... yes, it can certainly hurt. But it should not hurt all the time. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/8/2009 11:07:18 PM | Interesting layliecat! I have seen micro cams of the cervix during orgasm, and it "dips" repeatedly into the sperm pool, or what it perecieves to be the 'sperm pool.'
I must admit at first read I thought your suggestion on cervix location was a bit off , but I do know that I have what they call a tilted cervix, and so did my mother (more on that in a minute, or in another thread) So it called for a little personal study time!
I tried your suggestion and sure enough, before self stimulation the first finger of my right hand was easily inserted to nearly the third knuckle, and then, to test your suggestion, inserted again after self stimulation, near orgasm, and the cervix had moved, to just past the second joint of the same finger. More than in inch and I would guess inch and 1/2 to and inch and 1/4.
Having a tilted or tipped cervix has not been known to cause pain in myself or as far I as I know, my mother. But the number of women who have them, is I think about 20%. (needs citation) It causes the cervix to rub along side the penis shart and the end of the penis is stimulated more at an angle If you think of it as more of a 45%- 55% angle toward the back of the spine, instead of an 80% or 90% straight on location. (needs citation)But perhaps it could be that the cervix has moved.
If it were me and my partner I might suggest some sort of conversing, and cooperating first, rule out midical problems next with a competent OBGYN, and lastly a licensed sex expert.
Does anyone remember seeing the movie about Dr Kinsey, and his wifes' problems with intercourse? A very seeemingly difficult problem, easily solved, of course, I might add, it was physical in nature.
edited to add, it might be interesting to note if the pain is worse at any time in your cycle, monthly or yearly etc. And another thought, keep track of diet, excercise, medications etc, especially anything hormonal (eg progesterin) as some medicines can affect both physically and psychologically~ | |
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