| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:25:28 AM | | I don't know you or the girl ,but my best guess would be she is looking at you long term. Maybe she's trying to find a toy while your over seas i've seen it done. A girl in her younger 20's is not here to meet female friends lol If she was here to meet female friends it would have been put in the profile. She put sexy pictures of herself up on this site that were made for you to meet female friends HA. | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:38:47 AM | | As far as the people bashing him about his profile? Maybe he is busy and did not think of changing an old profile? Maybe he was just on here to check up on her? Maybe it's not right that he is ,but the world continues to spin. Keep in mind of the "older" posters on here need to realize dating is a lot different for are age group. This isn't the golden years where the wife stays home and cooks while the guy works. If that pisses some people off owell truth hurts. | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:44:05 AM | | Ryan I dont know you or your gf. I have however been in the same predicament. I was dating someone in the military (BTW thanks for everything ya'll do over there on a daily basis) and he was gone most of the time. I completely understood that cause I knew right from the get go that he was in the service. Its hard to be away from someone you care deeply about but sometimes it works in your favor too cause it gives you and the other person time to think. Though if she was honestly there for you and wanted to be with you shed be telling you I'll be waiting when you get home, you do what you need to do and becareful. Shed be supportive too. But from what your profile had said she might have thought the same thing you did..Oh shit what did I do hes still looking. What you should do is get your head into your mission over there and come back here when your tour is over and then sit and talk with her and see where everything is going. Just one piece of advice...I find it to be true cause its happened to me, whoever accuses who of cheating..its the accuser thats actually doing it. Good luck with everything.. Thanks again for fighting for our country | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:04:29 AM | Hi Ryan,
As another Vet,
I'm going to give you another piece of advice.
Step away from the computer!
You got some advice on this woman, now you need to step away. This banter going back and forth is NOT help much.
When I joined the military, I just didn't have time for relationships, not my first few years Being 18, working in a strange foreign land was enough of a worry than some woman across the ocean.
You are in a war zone, fighting for your life. You really don't need to be getting you head full of love BS over someone you had a great two weeks with.
And this fighting over dating sites and email is such a waste of energy. Do your job and focus on surviving.
Please, step away from the computer. | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:08:37 AM |
Keep in mind of the "older" posters on here need to realize dating is a lot different for are age group.
Very true. But some things about dating never change haha! | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:10:01 AM | Honestly if you cared about her as much as you say, you would not be thinking about not seeing her anymore.
Actually you need to either be honest with yourself and determine if you really like this particular girl or as some others have pointed out imagined something or someone that is more in your head than reality. Do not get me wrong a rich fantasy life is healthy, but you do on occasion have to be honest with yourself.
Note I have not judged the girl in anyway, in fact if you really like her you will accept her for who she truly is rather than whom you want her to be. This may mean accepting she wants to date others and you will need to figure out if she is in fact whom you infatuated with in the first place. It is infatuation! Everyone gets it and damn if its not a good thing but to truly enjoy the benefits of finding someone you have chemistry with you have to take the whole package. Do not kid yourself monogamy is over rated and jealousy is just a lack of trust and honestly which translates into a piss poor excuse used to end a relationship. Everyone knows this trap is the most used tool for ending a relationship. Cheating is often done intentionally in a manner to get caught so as to get the other person to break up rather than being honest and just breaking up themselves. So yet another possible twist to your story, maybe she just wants you to break up with her and is looking to give you a good reason or maybe she is looking for girls or another guy but still wants you too! You know it really depends on your own point of view which is the better deal.
Again do you really like her or some fantasy of her you created. Good luck and be safe over there. RUN faster and shoot straiter than the other guy!  | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:07:58 AM | Trust is hard enough when you have the opportunity to be around the person all the time never mind how hard it is for you being off fighting.
Don't allow the profile thing to bug you. You said yourself that her my space is different so don't let this be the one thing to eat at you. You are allowing your insecurities to Fk with your head and you got to stop doing that.
And ignore all the other comments on your profile crap as well.....people love to judge and when you post you will get just that. Judges!!
The only thing you can do is toughen it out the next few months, keep the contact with you and her as much as possible and see how it all works out when you get home!
This very well could be the start of something long term, don't allow it to spoil over past experiences or insecure moments!!
This is actually the true test of your love for oneanother so see how that works out and if you last the next few months and when you come home and are just as in love and happy then this very well could be what you and her have been hoping for!!
Good luck and be HAPPY and safe~ | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:26:50 AM | | i told her about my insecurities, i told her there are better men out there who can offer her alot more than i can. I told her that all i can give her my love. And that i have trust issues. I told her that im alot to deal with, and he said she wouldn't have me any other way and that she's ok with i and will work through it with me. I told her she deserved better but she wouldn't have it. Im going to get couseling to clear up my trust issues with women. I grew up with my mom cheating on my dad telling me the guy she was with was better than my own father and having being cheated on several time myself leaves a deep impact that is not my fault. If i didn't have trust issues something would be wrong with me. | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:42:09 AM | Everyone has issues to some depth or another. And it sucks being around this form of dishonesty....and yes I do agree it will fk up the head to some degree....
For you it's harder because you are off for months at a time. I totally get that and understand how you wish that people would just be who they say they are. And you are right she is fully aware of your job and is still willing to be with you.
Army guys are loveable as well no worries on that. And there are woman out there who can wait and be faithful in the meantime!! Time will tell with you two.
I told her she deserves better
NEVER NEVER sell yourself short my friend...... just because you have trust issues does NOT make you a bad person!! Good lord......
It all depends on how you deal with them bottom line!!!
It's freaking hard, there is NO guarantees when you give your heart to someone hoping that they treat it like gold. But however way they decide to treat it, in the end it is still your own heart so you are responsible in protecting it as well!
But it is hard when you freshly meet someone then get taken away for months not knowing what's really going on and to have the only thing as TRUST, the one demon that you have stuggled with and to be at the mercy of now...is pretty hard. But the first step for you is that you "GET IT" and want to deal with it... woo hooo.... good for you babe!!!!
And I so get how the mind can be a nasty friend at times...
But it is the MOST POWERFUL tool as well when used properly!!! | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:44:21 AM | Dammit, son, first things first.
Take care of yourself and come home safe!
If she wants to find female friends to hang out with, there are tons of other social networking websites.
Get yourself back home safe. If you get some comfort from emailing this young lady, that's fine. But realize that both of you are young, longdistance relationships are hard, and don't get TOO emotionally invested in the outcome of this romance.
Thank you so much for serving our country. BE SAFE!
Cindy O | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:31:40 AM | Thank you for your service.
Get off the dating websight and make it work.Prove your love for her.She's just as scared as you are about love man.Good luck and come home safely.OO-RAH! | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:51:41 AM | Not your fault, not her fault. Long-distance relationships rarely work out. Women need kisses and affection to stay in love... how can you kiss her when you are not there? Long distance relationships that work are one in one-thousand. Those are really bad odds.
Also, 10 days of dating is not enough... takes 2 months for a woman to fall fully in love, and 18 months to see a solid track record worthy enough of even thinking about marriage... you two don't even know each other, much less can she be deep enough in love to have a solid foundation.
Wait until you are out of the military and can date someone face-to-face on a regular basis before you try to get serious with someone.
When you start kissing a woman, date her regularly if you want to keep kissing her. | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 2:44:05 PM | | I have to give you credit for goin to therapy. Just see if its able to work out. Thing is you have both prolly been hurt and both of you prolly have trust issues. You need to talk together once you get back home and go from there. Do whats right for you.. | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 2:49:16 PM | | If the relationship is mean to be it will work out. Sounds like this woman is very young and trying to keep her options open. I don't think 10 days is long enough to determine real love, attraction, yes. When you return to the US just set up a date with her and take it from there. In the meantime I would let her go. | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:17:34 PM | Just because he's a choko (a reservist in Australian slang) doesn't mean to say this thread has no bullshit component. Either those giving advise wake up or the OP himself wake up and smell that coffee.
I mean God know's how many fragging went on in Vietnam due to this very reason....bullsh1t. | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:03:52 PM | | well, I am going to say what you know already so I'm not going to say it. There is no trust in this relationship, so i honestly don't see how you 2 can work it out really, but You sound like you really love her so, i am just going to wish you 2 luck and maybe somewhere down the line you guys end up trusting each other. | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:40:43 PM |
this is the first time ive used this since may. And the girl and i talked alot on the phone, yeah i know its no relationship and all and this is crazy doing this but im crazy about this girl. And it feels completely different than any other.
Then take a pill and just enjoy things until there IS a problem instead of making one.
And seriously, you have put this girl in a horrible position. She went to get some things from the ex, this does not equate with hanging out there. She knows you have issues so is she really hiding something or does she know that something that was innocent on her part could be misconstrued by you and because she wasn't doing anything wrong, just didn't mention it.
Don't stick your head in the sand but it is almost 100% guaranteed that if you are looking for something to be wrong, it will, but it might not be what you think. Not being trusted is very hurtful and it can squash the good stuff. | |
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| Need help caught gf
Posted: 11/11/2009 5:25:51 PM | | I deployed twice. Wife cheated first time...said she was sorry blah blah...5 years later I deployed again. G/F cheated...said she was sorry blah blah. So right off the bat if I was in your shoes. I would just move on. You been cheated on before and it hurts especially when your out in a warzone thinking you have someone home waiting for you. Well brother...it hurts more when you have a home, two kids and a dog....and come back to nothing. So avoid it while you can =0) RLTW!!! | |
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