| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:38:30 PM | awk a couple of years either way is no big deal at all is it really? and this 'if he lies about his age he lies fullstop' attitude is silly. everyone tells small lies usually to feel more secure it doesn't make them a horrible person and it doesn't mean they lie about the important stuff. sure if he was claiming 40 and was 60 it would be bad (and also kinda amazing that he got away with it) but 2 years? hell it doesn't even make a difference maturity wise (unless you're a lot younger granted). just make sure his hair is his and doesn't come off it a strong wind and that sorta thing.
i've experienced it before ie i lie about my age all the time and i do lie about other things but i'm not a bad person and i don't lie to hurt people or to conceal important truths. if i want into an over 21s night i lie and say i'm over 21 and then continue doing so to everyone i meet there who asks. what if i meet mr right? should he see my one year lie as a red flag? who knows. i also lie about where i got my bag ("oh i can't remember" = charity shop/ primark), whether my feet hurt in my new shoes "nope they're like slippers!" = i think my toes are bleeding but you have judged the price too much already to know that you were right and they're impractical.
bad people lie but that does not mean everyone who lies is a bad person. and people who say they don't lie are the biggest liars of all. holla. | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:57:53 PM | datingmatingrelating you're completely right. i'll never lie again and the OP should get rid of this 40 year old loser. what a douche. a lying douche. his character is definately questionable because he lied about two years to get better matches on a dating site.
oh there i go again ;) *slaps hand* EVIL! | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:02:23 PM |
I have done the same. I am 47 but are down as 44 and its because I was being missed by males that I usually date ( 40 ish). I was being in a search category that seemed to encourage older men. I do not look my age and decided being in the under 45 range got me better viewings. But I do come clean straightaway.
I can't remember what his excuse was but there's worse things to lie about. I do not think this makes him a liar as I am an honest person. I think this may bother you because maybe there are other things you are questioning?
That is very generous of you saying it is not a lie because you do it also...
You are NOT an honest person...
A lie is a lie for whatever the reason... It is a Red Flag as to what is to come next...  | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:20:39 PM | "bad people lie but that does not mean everyone who lies is a bad person."
Contradictory, don't ya think?
" and people who say they don't lie are the biggest liars of all. holla."
Now everybody's a liar?
So, by your logic, people that say they are lying are actually telling the truth? I mean, since all people are liars, they must be saying they're not liars. This is getting confusing. I guess I'll just draw own erroneous conclusion and say you're full of sh*t. I'm lying. Ok, I'm not lying. Do you believe me when I say I'm not lying? Doesn't that mean I'm telling the truth? | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:51:35 PM | My question to you OP would be, when does it become a big deal? Shaving 2 years off is OK...now how about 3, or 5, or 10? Lying about your age a bit is often dismissed as just a little white lie due to vanity and insecurity. But lying is still lying and a poor way to start a relationship, and the excuses that everyone does it, and he wouldn't meet the kind of woman he wanted if he hadn't lied, are nothing more than rationalizations, plain and simple.
I'm not saying to give this guy the heave ho because of this. But what I am saying is that is you want to move forward with him you need to sit him down and effectively communicate to him that lying to you in any form is unacceptable, and set him straight that you won't put up with it again. | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:01:30 PM | It seems you are concerned enough about it to bring to this forum. I would think if you state , "He seems like a nice guy and Idont plan on breaking up with him over this." Therefore, I dont see it as a concern for me to put any effort giving my reason which will have no effect on the matter, you already made a decision. Good luck with the relationship.
"Give an inch, take a foot" | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:03:37 PM |
"He seems like a nice guy and Idont plan on breaking up with him over this. Therefore, I dont seen it as a concern for me to put any input since it makes no difference." You forgot the part about the OP initially ignoring the whole thing. Why is it an issue now? | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:14:04 PM |
I do not look my age Really, who's age do you look if not your own. Lying about your age IS LYING! YOU ARE A LIAR. Thinking you don't look your age is bull. People telling you look younger than your age is bull. You are you and you look YOUR AGE.
I went out with a guy that is nice as can be, but he is a liar. He had on his profile one age and then in his description another age and said no one ever guesses he is blah blah blah. He was good for small lies and when I caught him in a big one, that was it.
Lie about your age and not think anything of it, what else don't you think anything of lying about???
OP you wanna stick with him, put your blinders on or you are gonna have some other lies that he thinks are ok. | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:45:02 PM | What's wrong with lying???.........People got to date right? Also pics older than 3 years rock as well. Height...weight......these are all things that NEED to be lied about......how else do you expect some people to snare someone they might not have otherwise?  | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:57:46 PM | It doesn't mean much-other than he tried to seem a little younger in order to be accepted by you. This does not make him a pathological liar.
But you'll have to ask yourself this: Will this make you a pathological nagger and constant second guesser?
Women seem to take everything a person says at FACE VALUE instead of using that fabled "women's intuiton" (which I am not a believer of since apparently women seem to mostly choose the wrong man). If you used the "intuition" that you are supposed to have then things like someone lying about being one or two years above or under their true age would not be too big of a deal.
Men lie to women-and keep lying to them (thus causing such a universal fear of men lying, in women) because women do not use their God giving mind. They rely on their "fantasies" leading them and thus WANTING to believe the lies told to them.
The truth is most of the time right in front of you...
So now you're stuck with the fear of lies-because you've been lied to so much.
Is it because that women don't lie that men don't seem to have this same fear?
Of course not. Women, in my opinion, are the worst liars in relationships and many times that takes the form of "silence" (The cruelest lies are often told in silence).
But men don't fear that-why?
Because we don't mesmerize at the perfection of the unrealistic fantasy relationship but instead focus on what is right in front of us.
When you deal with reality-and not fantasy-it is easier to see, accept, deal with, and prepare for what is right in front of your eyes.
Travix | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:19:04 PM | Aw geez, dang, OK, I'll fess up. I was under the drinking age but I told several barkeeps that i was a certain age and they went ahead and sold me the liquor. If that hadn't worked, my older cousin woulda had to go in there for me and bought the liquor for me and then I woulda had to have given him his usual "commission" -- a hamburger, fries, and a Coke at the local Dairy Queen.
Men lie about their age for a reason. He gave you one, he was, basically, trying to get younger women than the ones who were responding to him if he stated his age as 2 years older.
If you believe the reason that he gave, or if it doesn't matter that much to ya, then, basically, it's too small a lie to make a difference.
As to whether, once a lier, always a lier, I don't know, I haven't studied that question enough, empirically, to give you a good answer.
All's I know is, when the ol' Highway Patrol stopped me last time and asked me how fast I was going, I said, "the speed limit." Truthfully, I had been too busy singing along to a Creedence Clearwater Revival song to have actually kept my eye on the speedometer every second. I got off with a warning, which, I reckon is fair enough, since minutes before I got passed by another motorist who seemed going bent for hell leather.
Some lies are critical, some aren't. If you see this as a critical lie, then drop him. If not, go ahead on and be with him, being vigilant about lies that do matter. | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:35:24 PM | I wouldn't let the two-year lie explode the relationship. He gave you a reason and while I don't think it's GREAT, I don't think it's HUGE.
BUT (big but....), I'd watch. SOME people DO consistently tell little lies to make themselves appear in the way they would LIKE to be rather than the way they are. The two years thing on a dating site isn't a huge biggie.....but if he's the kind of person that regularly tells "little" lies then maybe he EASILY lies and thinks nothing of it--and that's NOT good.
If you like him I'd keep seeing him. Just be watchful. | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:39:23 PM | | The lie is forgivable. He was over 40 and many of our searches on dating sites use a decade as a cut-off year. So, he made himself 38 to get under the "40" mark. However, pay attention to any other small lies that may surface and respond with the red flag waving. | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:53:13 PM | "Has anyone had this experience before? If so, did the person who lied about age lie about other things?.........but should I be concerned?"
No, not at all! Maybe he is just like George Costanza, "It is NOT a lie if you believe is the truth when you are telling it"
Pathological liars lie about anything and everything, they lie about things they really don't even have to, can be about what they had for lunch or about the fact that his parents are alive when he said they were death. Small, lie, huge, same thing. It doesn't matter to them.
You'll find out if this is the case.
Chances are there are a lot more lies to come. | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:57:08 PM |
He says that he was getting matched up with ladies in their late 40s and 50s and wanted to meet women with less baggage.
I'd be more concerned that he wasn't smart enough or was just too lazy to do a search using parameters that he wanted instead of what some site put out there for him.
Everyone seems nice - especially when you ignore all evidence to the contrary. Funny how that works! Nothing quite so grand as self delusion. | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:11:10 PM | | Thanks to everyone for your input. I have been told in the past that I am "too picky" and I know I can overreact at times. I am a little wary of him...a few weeks ago, I had invited him to dinner at my place and he told me that he was celebrating his brother's birthday. Well....tonight, he was talking about his brother and he mentioned that he and his brother were born on the same day, five years apart. His bday is in December. I am disgusted right now.... | |
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| He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:23:24 PM |
Lie about something as set in stone as your age and it's likely there will be more lies to come.
Yeah... pretty much. It's not like it's something that you can just accidentally perceive wrong, like a body type. You have to outright break the rules of the site to intentionally misrepresent your age here. | |
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