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| Can women really go without sex????
Posted: 10/6/2008 3:35:28 PM | | Yes, definitely - especially being older and wiser about how quickly a relationship can go south (there are a lot of dishonest folks out there) - it is much better to slowly get to know someone - also when you are really comfortable with your own sexuality, you are less likely to need to flaunt it - hopefully you've experienced the really great sex that comes from real intimacy - then you probably don't value the lesser quality sex as much. | |
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| Can women really go without sex????
Posted: 10/6/2008 3:35:56 PM | no i didnt read all of it. but no i cant go with out it for a week. so i dont know how anyone can go without it every other day at least. shot i can do it several times aday without trying.  | |
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| Can women really go without sex????
Posted: 10/6/2008 5:11:55 PM |
Perhaps I misunderstood your meaning. It reads like you're saying, that he wouldn't even think of sex. umm...that's the part I disagree with. Whether or not he decides to stay depends on what is important to him. But, why wouldn't he think of it? I mean...if he's a well adjusted normally sexually active person? Granted, while I agree it is not 'the' most important part of a relationship...it is, nonetheless important.
I apologize, I didn't fully explain what I meant. You did misunderstand what I had hoped it would mean, but you're right. I sometimes forget to fully explain things and it comes out wrong. He CAN think of sex if he'd like.
Another thing I forgot to mention is... If you decide to look elsewhere for sex, break up with her first. Don't sleep around with another girl while you're in a relationship with someone else. I can't stand guys that do that to girls...they're only thinking for themselves. Girls have feelings too you know. | |
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| Can women really go without sex????
Posted: 10/9/2008 8:07:51 AM | They certainly Can, but only if they don't have a partner.
If they have a partner , then they certainly shouldn't . If they have a
partner, and aren't having sex with him, then pass him on to someone who
does know what to do with him. Unless there are health issues, or some real
reason that you can't do it. Other than that should definitely be regularly having
sex. Hello !! | |
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| Can women really go without sex????
Posted: 10/9/2008 10:24:23 AM | Threads like this always reveals the true nature of people. Although it is over 2 years old, I thought it was an interesting question, so I am going to add my 2 cents worth. Because I can. This is America….damn it!
First of all, women going without sex is really no different than men going without sex. And yes anyone can go without sex. It will not kill you. Is it difficult….duh. As one poster already noted, “we are sexual creatures”. Again…duh!. That is how we survive from one generation to the next. That is how we express our deepest intimacies to someone we are romantically connected with. That is how we express the most intimate part of who we are. We are made that way. The need to be close is inherent in who we are. Intimacy satisfies the need to be close. And sex is part of intimacy.
But sometimes we treat the symptom and not the cause of a problem. Sometimes we think sex will satisfy our need for intimacy (for closeness) and validation (for insecurity). But that is backward thinking. Sex comes from intimacy, not intimacy from sex. Sometimes women give sex to get love, and men give love to get sex. And they are both wrong.
When you view sex as something you take or get from someone instead of what you give, you will always see it as something you cannot live without. You will always be trying to “get it” some way, some how from someone. But when you see it as something you “share” with someone, suddenly your frame of mind changes and you become much more selective about who you “give” it to. But it boils down to how you see yourself and how valuable you regard what you have to offer. If you have low regard for the value of what you have to offer, or low self esteem, then obviously, what someone else has is viewed as more valuable and you will be out to “get” or “take” it from them. This is classic of someone who suffers from a lot of insecurity issues.
But if you see what you have to offer as equal or greater than what someone else has to offer, then you are much more hesitant about “giving in” or giving away.
Are you more hesitant about having sex with someone who looks like an ugly dog, over weight by 300 lbs, sloppy, dirty and hasn’t had a shower in a week? Do you even need too answer that question. Why? Because you see that person as less than you. And you will flat out refuse.
But there are those, who feel they “cannot” go without sex, because they see it as something they are “getting” from someone else. And will “take” it from anywhere they can get it in order to put a “band aid” on a symptom, as a way to be validated to cover up their insecurities. Most symptoms are a result of some form of insecurity or another.
Sadly enough, men for the most part have the biggest problem with this, because the “urge” triggers happen so much easier and so often and are so different. Men are more visually stimulated than women, by design. But a lot of men seem to feel the need for validation (a symptom of insecurity issues) by proving to themselves how much of a man they are. And they use sex to do this, thinking again, that intimacy and validation comes from sex.
Women on the other hand, have a different kind of trigger or switch. Again by design. They need to be made secure and stimulated differently before the switch is tripped. And it is supposed to usually take work on the mans part to do that. Again by design. But the process seems to be circumvented because the man just wants to skip that part looking for a quick fix to his own insecurity issues. And he wants to “get” it as fast and as often as he can. But this is not a gender problem. It is an insecurity problem. Both men and women suffer from this. Ultimately, and often they cover up the problem much the same way, but they approach it differently.
So yes going without sex is difficult because of how we are put together. But it is still a choice we make based on how we esteem ourselves and what kind of value we place on what we have to offer. Are you a giver or a taker? Do you want low end, discounted, cheap, throw away quantity? Or do you prefer high end, permanent, do it right the first time quality? You can either decide to make it your choice and control who you share and give to, or you can let it control you and have no choice but to “get” what you are handed. You can choose to sit at the table and “select” what you want, or eat off the floor and “get” the crumbs no one else wants.
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| Can women really go without sex????
Posted: 10/9/2008 10:42:47 AM | Can I go without sex, indeed.
Can I go without good sex with the right partner, hells no.
Want it want it REALLY want it! Damn if I could only find that man =p | |
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| Can women really go without sex????
Posted: 10/9/2008 12:18:09 PM | | Well said and for me it's been over 6 yrs (my choice) horrible marriage and have no urge for it. Just not ready as of yet but that's not to say I don't think about it at times either. | |
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| Can women really go without sex????
Posted: 10/9/2008 12:54:55 PM | vivacious: I can think of several reasons.
1: Not ready...as the poster mentioned. Kudos for her for knowing she's not. Many people don't.
2: Just flat not being promiscuous.
3: Not wanting to have casual sex, outside of a relationship.
Those are just off the top of my head. So yes...there are reasons why people don't have sex. By choice. | |
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| Can women really go without sex????
Posted: 10/10/2008 7:38:41 AM | iam2anangel....
lighten up, enjoy the tongue and cheek...
...of course people choose to remain celebrate.... more power to them!
Who says you have to be promiscuous to enjoy sex? | |
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| Can women really go without sex????
Posted: 10/10/2008 10:13:38 AM | So it all comes down to those 3 options, eh? I'd like to think there are more reasons to a woman going without sex purposly. lol I so hoped the human race has moved on from such shallow and vapid ways of thinking. But again its an area where expectations should not be held. lol
But onto the question, yes. Woman can go a long time without sex, I am a prime example and it's not becasue i cant have it if i wanted. You know being as i'm so hideous and fat! (joking) For me I don't see the fun in spontanious acts of sex. Why should one subject themselfs to a one nighter with a man/woman who doesn't respect them. Unless you inevitably seek the same thing. For me its not worth it, its better to wait untill you find someone you care about and cares for you. Then its more enjoyable and meaningful. But my best friend is very much into those one nighters and she cn't go 3 days without sex, however sad that may be. It all depends on the person I think. | |
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| Can women really go without sex????
Posted: 10/10/2008 2:16:56 PM | 'So it all comes down to those 3 options, eh? I'd like to think there are more reasons to a woman going without sex purposly. lol I so hoped the human race has moved on from such shallow and vapid ways of thinking. But again its an area where expectations should not be held. lol '
Uhhhh....no.
I didn't say those are the only reasons. If you read correctly: I said that those are the ones that came to me off the top of my head. You know...spur of the moment, at the time of posting?
How easy it is for people to cast barbs and unmitigated judgements, here.
Its a shame really.
LOL@ me being shallow and vapid.  | |
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| Can women really go without sex????
Posted: 11/3/2008 12:47:47 PM | | It sounds to me like your fiance has had some negative sexual experiences in the past (perhaps even an assault) . She needs you to show her that you love her because of who she is, not just what she can do for you. Spend some time with her outside the bedroom and maybe she'll open up about her past and the reasons for her aversion to sex. And, please, don't ask for, beg for, or demand sex..... or she'll be gone for good. | |
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| Can women really go without sex????
Posted: 11/3/2008 1:48:38 PM | Yeah, apparently many can.
In a survey of 31,581 women across the U.S. ages 18 to 102, 44 percent reported having sexual problems, the most common being low desire for sex. The findings mirrored those of many other surveys — but what sets this one apart is that of those women reporting sexual problems, only 12 percent say they are are actually bothered by it.
That's based on a new study, published Friday in the journal Obstetrics and Gynecology.
The question then raised is, if such a large percentage aren't interested and don't care, is this then normal? After all, the stories one hears that lack of sexual interest is common must have some basis. | |
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| Can women really go without sex????
Posted: 11/5/2008 4:54:20 PM | If theres not enough love,affection or foreplay...then no.
But a quckie on some ocastions is always nice to sitmulate the senses. | |
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| Can women really go without sex????
Posted: 12/15/2008 4:38:55 PM |
Four Flippin' Years and counting
It seems there is an irritable trait that is caused by Prolonged abstinence. LOL
I'm just kidding people, I just had to say that because my ex would get EXTREMELY irritable after going without for a few weeks. She Still tries to call me even now after two years of being apart. but since it was her decision in the first place I have always turned her down. And yes she gets really mad about it. LOL | |
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