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 vertical95
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 126
MATCH.com V p.o.fPage 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I know people who have been on both sites. According to them, match was better. There are more profiles on match. Negative things about POF ( such as dishonest people, people who use internet dating for an ego boost etc ) can also apply to match. But these problems were more common on POF. As for the cost, match isn't that expensive. A person can get a 6 month membership for about $100 total. Then a person could get an additional 6 months for free.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 127
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MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 6/2/2010 7:21:33 AM
"There are more profiles on match."

This is definitely not true. Just did a 50 mile search from my zip code for female members 18-35 who logged in during the past 24 hours on both Match and POF. Match showed 680. POF stops giving you search listings at 600, so I had to break it down into individual years (that is, a search for 18-year-olds, a new search for 19-year-olds, a new search for 20-year-olds, etc.). Well, each year came up with 300-600+, so, yeah, it's probably something like 5000, vs. Match's 680. In the past I've come up with over 10,000 on POF for women of all ages, among those who have logged in within a day. There is simply no way "paid" can compete with "free" in terms of sheer numbers.

"$30 a month? Pfftt. I spend that in a week on coffee." + "As for the cost, match isn't that expensive."

Although I agree this is not a ton of money even in these economically-challenged times, it is a lot of money "per lead" for someone like me. Although there are 680 women 18-35 with active profiles on Match at the moment, if I do a "reverse search" (one that finds women whose dating preferences don't eliminate me), only a couple dozen show up, most of which don't have pictures, and those that do seem to be suspicious profiles (even if they're just suspicious because they didn't do ANYTHING with their preferences, meaning they are either scams or someone not serious about the site -- or they just have really questionable dating tastes). Although technically you are free to email anyone you want on Match, it's not such a wise thing (especially time-wise) to be emailing women whose preferences state they aren't interested in dating someone like you. Therefore, I often end up paying $30 and end up emailing almost no one during that 30 day period (I also don't think any woman has ever sent me a first contact email on Match either). Nevertheless, it's somewhat of a better situation than POF, as it doesn't have forced preferences and women rarely put their preferences in their profiles, so I end up wasting tons of time emailing women that I would know not to email on Match. Wasting time or wasting money -- that's pretty much my dilemma between POF and Match.

BTW, as someone pointed out, many Match users are on POF, so I do sometimes use Match's preference listings to determine if I'm going to email someone on POF. Today while during the first paragraph experiment, I came across a woman on Match I recognized from POF -- in fact, I had written her an email on POF months ago that was not responded to, and I remember her better than most of the hundreds I write because she was a fellow writer and we appeared to have MUCH in common. However, I now see why she didn't write me back on POF: minimum height requirement of 5'9" (she is 5'0, interestingly) and only ethnicity she is willing to date is white. So, I never had a POF chance, despite our personality similarities.

So again, which is worse: the time I wasted emailing her (and hundreds like her) on POF or the money I would have wasted on a Match membership to find out I couldn't email her?

"Gack, it sounds like you've spend your entire adult life looking for love online," etc.

Yeah, that's pretty much me, too. I've been far more successful landing dates from online than in real life (ironic, I know, considering what I just wrote in the preceding paragraphs), primarily because I'm creative writer but a weak talker so it's much easier for me to impress through the written word than the spoken word. But this same factor also works against me, because women build up a much different perception of how I act in their heads than is actually the case, which leads to a great deal of disappointment upon actually meeting, and not a whole lot of repeat dates/meetings/whatever; I try to alleviate that pattern by speeding up the amount of time to get to my initial meetings, but it seems I'm always on the woman's schedule when it comes to such things, and most women think of the online route as the "get to know the guy fairly well first before meeting" route, and my "cool" emails don't help in that respect (yet is ironically the primary thing that gets me meetings to begin with!), so it just drags on for weeks/months/years, causing the actual perception of me to become more and more distorted prior to the first meeting.

And I also spent the last decade watching the interesting evolution of online dating -- it's somewhat ironic that it came full-circle, as the free services were dominant in the late 90s, then came the Era of Match and now Plenty of Fish has brought "free" back to dominance again. To some extent that's true about online in general.
 vertical95
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 128
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 6/2/2010 8:33:26 PM

This is definitely not true. Just did a 50 mile search from my zip code for female members 18-35 who logged in during the past 24 hours on both Match and POF. Match showed 680. POF stops giving you search listings at 600, so I had to break it down into individual years (that is, a search for 18-year-olds, a new search for 19-year-olds, a new search for 20-year-olds, etc.). Well, each year came up with 300-600+, so, yeah, it's probably something like 5000, vs. Match's 680. In the past I've come up with over 10,000 on POF for women of all ages, among those who have logged in within a day. There is simply no way "paid" can compete with "free" in terms of sheer numbers.


I did a somewhat similiar search. Yes there were many profiles on POF. But a large percentage of these profiles were from people that weren't actively looking for dates. They had talk/email, friends, hang out etc listed in the "what they were looking for" section of their profile. At least in match, most people are probably look for dates.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 129
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 6/2/2010 11:55:15 PM
Go watch Glenn Gary Glenn Ross...... its just the same old tired leads packaged in a new bow.... telling.
 JFredMuggs
Joined: 1/26/2010
Msg: 130
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 6/3/2010 6:40:18 AM

"Gack, it sounds like you've spend your entire adult life looking for love online," etc.

Yeah, that's pretty much me, too. I've been far more successful landing dates from online than in real life (ironic, I know, considering what I just wrote in the preceding paragraphs), primarily because I'm creative writer but a weak talker so it's much easier for me to impress through the written word than the spoken word.


The best advice I can give you is to hang in there. I used to be much stronger hiding behind a keyboard than out in the real world too. As I've gotten older my real world confidence has grown tremendously. Divorce had a way of enhancing the nothing-to-lose mentality, but I suspect age just does it to all of us. I also think that what women look for changes as we get older and they'll start appreciating - truly appreciating - what you have to offer. You're just entering the sweet spot, age-wise, so I'm sure success will arrive. It will probably turn up when you've decided to stop trying so hard. Good luck!
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 131
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MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 6/3/2010 6:56:20 AM
I actually don't run into very many talk/email, friends or hang-out profiles on POF -- if you were doing a search for men, maybe men are just more likely to choose those options than women (which makes sense considering the typical man's fear of commitment). So that advantage probably does go to Match for women, but I don't think it makes that much difference with men. That said, you can search POF by dating preferences and leave out those categories so the only men that show up in your searches are looking for dating or long-term relationships.

So I just discovered that Match has a "highlighted member" option. For I guess a little extra money, you can have your profile highlighted green. So there actually is a way to tell who for sure is a subscriber now: anyone who has a green highlighted profile is definitely a paid subscriber who can send regular emails. Doesn't mean there aren't some subscribers who didn't pay the extra for the highlight, but I would think it would be wise for any subscriber to pay the extra (not sure how much extra) for the highlight, that way everyone knows who the subscribers are. For the record, it looked like about 1 out of every 8 women or so had highlights in my typical searches, but I'm not sure how they're going about distributing the highlighted profiles in searches. Not sure I would recommend only sending emails to highlighted profiles, but it would assure that you aren't completely wasting your time sending that person an email (he/she may still not be interested, but at least if he/she is interested, he/she can definitely write you back). This is certainly an improvement over the "let's have everybody guess who is a subscriber and who isn't" crap that leads to situations in which you're not a subscriber but get a message so you decide to become a subscriber just to read the stupid message.

One other thing: another dating website besides HotOrNot that allows communication between subscribers and non-subscribers is singlesnet.com. Can't say I've ever been impressed with that site, as their search functions are not impressive -- it's almost as if you're paying for Plenty of Fish, but it does have a pretty big user base, supposedly bigger than Match's (heck, they say that right on the front page). So if you're a non-subscriber and get a message from a subscriber, you can reply to it, just like with HON, which is probably the best setup for a pay site, as most women just aren't willing to pay to get dates, but most men are, so it works out much better than Match.
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 132
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 6/3/2010 10:25:52 AM
Free or not its still the same pool of people on all the sites.
I have great luck so it doesnt really matter much to me.
I cant complain about my choices being I never experienced a bad date.
I have made some great friends (even if I got dumped/did the dumping).
Its all in a great weeks fun, and I certainly wont be home alone!
He's to meeting new people and having a great time! Life is what we make it.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 133
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 6/3/2010 3:40:20 PM
The big variable ion any site is really YOU....same as IRL...

Hawking....dude....I have never read any of your posts...I'd like to but I just see each post is a novel...again, I have no idea what you're saying and I haven't looked at your profile...dare I say that you MAY be keeping women away with being too wordy? Abelian gets wordy too...but not always...he has good stuff to say often so I'll make my way through his wordier posts...


...Sorry for the side note...back to complaining about Match and POF
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 134
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 6/5/2010 12:22:52 AM
I get more action from the polaroid wall down at my local cafe.
Its off line, its old school, its the bulletin board of the usual suspects.
There is even the rotating cast of who is new this week
and who is the oldest
Its a small town, what else ya gonna do ?
 Britney100
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 135
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/5/2010 6:18:20 AM
Match will rip you off on the 6 months free.. i did this among 3 others from my office and me and the other who didnt "find love" didnt get our six months free either. worst 60 quid ive wasted ever! dont do it and the people are no better, so the thought of pay for a service to get a better one isnt true. this is the line i fell for..
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 136
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/5/2010 6:27:35 AM
I think a dating site is what you make of it. Match and e harmony both select your matches which is restrictive- and my friends call match " not a match" . com for this reason- you pay to have them closely match you and I suppose if you respond to each person who contacts you or if you contact each person who you are matched with that you will find some of interest. I was on eh in the past and didn't like the fact that they sent 6 matches a day who really weren't good matches- but I did have a few dates and made a few friends. Pof has great forums and an open system where you can contact, or be contacted by, anyone ( outside of your restricted settings).
 sunbeach95
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 137
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/5/2010 7:01:19 AM
Match will rip you off on the 6 months free.. i did this among 3 others from my office and me and the other who didnt "find love" didnt get our six months free either. worst 60 quid ive wasted ever! dont do it and the people are no better, so the thought of pay for a service to get a better one isnt true. this is the line i fell for..


I know some people who were on Match and got the 6 additional months for free. There were some requirements you had to meet. Such as your profile always had to be visible ( not hidden ). Emailing at least 5 people per month among a few others.


I know people who have been on both sites. According to them, match was better. Negative things about POF ( such as dishonest people, people who use internet dating for an ego boost etc ) can also apply to match. But these problems were more common on POF.


I also agree with this. I have some friends and relatives that were on Match and POF at the same time. All of them got more dates on Match.
 Fierysunlvr
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 138
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MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/5/2010 7:12:52 AM
I've had friends join Match.com because they reasoned that if the men were paying to join the site, they'd be better quality men. All the men they dated turned out to be nothing like their profiles and my friends felt like they wasted their own money.

EHarmony does sound like BS to me. How can an internet site claim to "match you for life."? Plenty of fish seems more honest and real. I like the concept of not letting one person break your heart too much, because life goes on and there really are plenty of fish in the sea.
 fleeting85
Joined: 9/23/2010
Msg: 139
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/7/2010 12:12:20 AM
Well I've signed up for online dating for about ~2 weeks now. This has been quite the experience and I must say it's very similar to sales or applying for a job. You send your resume with your customized cover letter to a whole bunch and it's not an extremely rewarding experience. I also think the job hunt is a little easier though :P

Match.com - subscribed for 1 week free - messaged 12 - 0 replies - got 1 wink after trial subscription expired
PoF - subscribed for 2 weeks now - messaged 16 - 0 replies - got 2 girls who initiated contact
OKC - subscribed for 2.5 weeks now - messaged 73 - 17 replies - 7 extended emails - getting bored
eHarmony - subscribed for a month free - messaged 4 - 2 replies - got bored never replied back
singlesnet - subscribed for 2 weeks now - messaged 0 - got 1 girl who initiated contact but she lived 200 miles away in SD.
Hot or Not - joined to get my various pictures rated so I know which to use in my profile...is this shit inflated? I'm getting high 8s and mid 9s...I dunno...I feel like I'm a solid 7, maybe 8 if I'm in peak physical condition.

I signed up for online dating as a distraction from my studies, but my exams are coming up fast so maybe I should hold off on the messaging until I can actually meet women. With emailing there's always that short window when both the girl and I are vibing extremely well--usually within the first two emails. Instead of asking her out right then and there, I just keep emailing...until there is no more rapport to build and boredom sets in.
 weathervanes
Joined: 3/31/2010
Msg: 140
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MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/7/2010 10:54:46 AM
They are all a waste of time and in some cases $$$.....no one here in my part of the country can read english apparently.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 141
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MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/7/2010 2:55:08 PM
My experience with Match has been very positive---I met my current partner there. Overall, the people I've met there have been of a higher caliber, as well as more serious about finding a LTR than those I've met here. I also prefer the specific nature of the questions Match asks in the profiles, such as pets, exercise habits, political beliefs, and whether or not there are children living at home, just to name a few. Those questions enable one to quickly flip through profiles and eliminate people with incompatibilities, thus, saving a great deal of time.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 142
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/8/2010 12:41:15 PM

My experience with Match has been very positive---I met my current partner there. Overall, the people I've met there have been of a higher caliber, as well as more serious about finding a LTR than those I've met here.

I think active user by active user, it is a better selection. It has less active members than POF, since POF is free...

I've found that you'll find more at least reasonable picks of women 25-and-up without kids. More career women, whereas with POF, more moms-with-younger-kids. Match, IMO is a side choice for those who are 'picky', but it has a smaller (active) selection. One has to be paying at the time to correspond, too.
 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 143
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/12/2010 6:17:32 AM
I found that most of the people I communicated with on Match, also had profiles on here.... I've honestly have had more dates from PoF then I had with Match or eHarmony. I think the 'weeding out' process is different here, though. I found that people on pay sites are definitly up to meet in person, but here lots of people just want to be penpals and exchange emails.
 24suburbs
Joined: 10/8/2010
Msg: 144
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/12/2010 6:43:58 AM
I had a profile on Match and POF at the same time for about 3 months. I had more dates from Match. Like others have stated, you can find flakes, dishonest people, jerks etc in almost any dating site. But in general, I think match has a better quality of profiles and people were more serious about finding a date. I also like how match has a chart where you can state your preferences. Therefore it was easier to tell if you matched what someone was looking for.
 likes_animals_wk
Joined: 7/22/2010
Msg: 145
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/12/2010 10:18:39 AM
are you sure match isn't better? i was thinking of paying for it because all i get are a bunch of losers on POF with the exception of one guy.
 wolftxusa
Joined: 10/3/2010
Msg: 146
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/12/2010 7:56:57 PM
"a bunch of losers on POF with the exception of one guy."
Isn't that all it takes?

Match used to be good, but now the service is unreliable and they have lots of fakes. Of the ones that seem genuine, many shoot for a 150K+ salary in a partner because they 'deserve' it. I met one good date off POF and match respectively, making it both even and statistically irrelevant.

POF has the advantage that you can stay forever while match costs, but then again paying members may be more serious. Right now I'd call it a wash with POF gaining and match losing momentum.
 SWSpice
Joined: 8/23/2007
Msg: 147
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/12/2010 8:27:40 PM
You might get more actual dates on match but that doesn't mean they are any more into a relationship or have any less expectations. I have met people on match, more than on POF because I had unrealistically thought that because they paid for the online service meant they were more interested and perhaps invested. Just not true.

The photos were not any more current, the descriptions of personalities not more honest and expectations not any more realistic, perhaps worse so because they paid money. I haven't seen either one better than the other.
 likes_animals_wk
Joined: 7/22/2010
Msg: 148
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/14/2010 10:12:45 AM

"a bunch of losers on POF with the exception of one guy."
Isn't that all it takes?


yes but i've been waiting on him for over a month e-mailing back and forth. never knew a guy more passive than he is. he's extremely busy with work, doing this and that. i have to keep looking. i'm not the type to just sit and wait for a guy to make a move. and fyi. i already asked to meet him 3 times.
 cloud_1999
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 149
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MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/14/2010 7:20:34 PM
Anyone try Her Way (herway.com)? It's based on the "Sadie Hawkins" concept -- men post their profiles, but only women do the pickin' & contactin'.

Sounds like a great idea to me. The concept seems more catered to those who are serious about meeting, with the women in control.
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 150
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 10/14/2010 7:29:09 PM
^^^^That sounds like an interesting/different approach, but I don't think it will bring better results.

IMO: You'll still get the same types in all dating sites. i.e. those serious, those married, those with a hidden agenda, etc..............
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