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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 6/13/2007 6:43:39 PM | | How true , all these free trial dating sites and they ask for your credit card #(red flag) there is a disclaimer at the bottom with a phone # to call and cancel, it is time consuming and frustrating ,at least some have a toll free 800 number, but still a pain as they get a rep to try to get you to change your mind. All my matches were miles away,yeah right.I think they also sell your info to other sites. After I looked at a few my box was flooded with offers to sign up at other sites.Plenty of teasers ,but never anything substantial. RIPOFF | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 7/27/2007 2:06:02 PM | A quick update on my previous post...
I also was rejected by E-Harmony, even though I'm a Christian. I thought it was kinda funny that they wouldn't even try to match me with with anyone, but at least they didn't take my money. I guess being unique has it's advantages....
I recently changed internet service providers, resulting in a change in my e-mail address. Out of curiousity, I revisited E-Harmony and took the test again. For some reason, I'm now accepted, matchable, even desireable!!! (Heeheehee!)
Isn't it amazing what a little change of e-mail addy can do? | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/2/2007 11:22:05 AM | | I did a peek into EHarm ~4 years ago when it was still quite new. A female friend had tried it and reported only getting matched with "short, fat, balding men who still lived at home with their mother." EH initially had a two week free trial so out of morbid curiosity both myself and my girlfriend at the time [we'd met on Match btw] signed up just to see what kind of matches we'd get. A few days after finishing the survey [god was that a chore] we both got messages saying "We are unable to provide you with any matches at this time." The two week trial ended and still no matches so we cancel to avoid paying the insane $59/month fee. Despite following all the same steps and canceling in time my card still got billed. Complained and they issued a refund plus offered to extend the free trial to a full month as I'd had no matches yet. Why not. Another week rolls by and finally started getting some "matches", probably had a total of 25 before the trial was up. All but one was polar opposite from anything I'd be looking for. Match had done a much better job using a thousand fewer questions. All physical and personality factors aside, bottom line is 98% of the matches were people devoid of social skills looking to get married ASAP [you could hear the clocks ticking]. The other 2%? A couple were "mail order brides" looking for green cards, and one a quite interesting girl doing the same sideshow gawking I was. We actually met for drinks a few times and exchanged online dating horror stories. | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/10/2007 4:36:10 PM | Yuck. I signed up for eHarmony. The first man who didn't slam our "match" closed as soon as he saw my pictures (talk about a shot on the self esteem!!!), got all the way to "open communication", only to say...
"hey!!! glad we made it this far!!!! i gotta be honest with u. i haven't had sex in 2 years and i am really lonely and in need of a woman. can we skip the small talk and have some dinner and dessert back at my place??? i promise u won't be disappointed!!!!!!!!!! yum. i am tasty and mouth watering!!!"
And, that's when *I* slammed the match shut. Closed. Bye.
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/10/2007 4:57:04 PM | | Awwwww....Im sorry to hear that. I signed up with Eharmony a few months ago. It was terribly,awfully,BADDDD. Needless to say that I will not use the site again. And ......Geeewhiz..all the money that they ask for.WTF. Besides I like POF better.I just LOVE LOVE LOVE MR.DYNOMITE. | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/10/2007 5:47:12 PM | I can also say what a rip off EHarmony was. I was also one of the people they couldnt find a match for yet I get new messages in my email box nearly every day from POF stating that I have matches. I have contacted some of them and have met some very nice guys. EHarmony isnt the only one though. I signed up for a "free" trial on another site and then tried to cancel I was told I had to call a long distance number on my dime to get my membership canceled. I was told that my profile would be deleted but I still get messages telling me that so and so is interested and I need to reactivate my profile to talk to him. Give me a break. I have only been on POF for a few weeks but I am having a great time and I definately recommend it to all my single friends. Keep up the good work POF and you will force those other sites to take a hard look at their system and maybe make some positive changes.  | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/10/2007 6:33:33 PM | My experiences with dating sites are this: Russian, Chinese, and African women 1/2 my age looking for a sugar daddy. Ladies, keep looking.  I have never and will never pay to be on a dating site. Everytime i have been offered some free trail membership, either i can not contact that person, she can not contact me, or in e-harmony's case, i could not even LOOK at the other person, let alone contact them. I test drove my car before i bought it. How about actually giving someone something free and meaning it? If all goes well, i might decide to become a member. Or not.  | |
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clay71
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Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 288 | |
| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/10/2007 6:59:56 PM | I went on it out of curiousity,for my "free" match.They could'nt match me with anyone because, the info I gave made it too hard for them to find a match.
What a joke,I laughed my ass off. You must conform, you must conform LOL. | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/10/2007 7:12:51 PM | Finally..someone else who had trouble w/eharmony..they refused me a refund
also..and I had only joined for two weeks...but had not really 'connected' at all
because the site is so darn confusing and difficult to use...so, mysterious...glad
you wrote. | |
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ams42
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Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 290 | |
| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/10/2007 7:49:48 PM | I had a one year membership with eHarmony. I had plenty of "matches", but the matches lived too far away (according to the matches....their reason for "closing" the match).
I never did meet any of the "matches" in the year I was a member.
So, when it was time to renew, I cancelled my membership.
I haven't had any luck finding someone online. I e-mail the guys but most don't answer my e-mails. I guess the old saying is right......"When you're not looking is when you'll find someone".......so, I've given up on my search. | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/10/2007 8:47:24 PM | I don't know what sucks more:
- The high price.
- Men slamming our matches shut as soon as they see my picture.
- Men making it through a whole "guided communication process", only to ask me for sex.
- How many of my matches have been from other states.
- How annoying those commercials are!!! | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/11/2007 9:43:34 AM | ^^^ Don't give up. The story of meeting someone when "not looking" isn't always true. I hate that saying "when you least expect it you will meet him." It's a pat answer that is getting old and is annoying for single people to hear. 
Don't give up, there are ways to meet someone special. I daresay that being more social and putting out the effort to meet someone works better than leaving things to chance. Also using sites selectively is best. I like POF the best and I only use POF. I will not waste money on matching sites. I tried Eharmony and it was a waste of money. While I am only looking for friends at this point, I am enjoying the interaction with some wonderful people on this site. When I finish my studies and move to "Lawn Guyland" next year I will resume looking for that special someone.
I wish the best to all here on POF!!
DW | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/11/2007 10:52:24 AM | Ditto on the "Stay Away..."
I signed for the one month membership.
The amount of correspondence is controlled by the site.
I sent messages to a few and did not receive any responses.
I cancelled close to the date that my membership would end.
Lo and behold, I got an email notification that I had awaiting
RESPONSES! And they came from those thatI had sent messages
to one month prior.
In order to open the messages, I would have had to subscribe
again to the tune of approximately $60 for one month.
THIEVES, is the word that comes to mind.
I demanded a refund to no avail. | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/11/2007 11:26:15 AM | | THANKS FOR THE MESSAGE!! Many, many times I've thought of joining just to see if there's a man out there that wants a lady for something other than sex--yeah, it seems the site just wants a lady for money instead of sex. | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/11/2007 11:38:47 AM | I had some extra $$$ a few years ago and decided to try eHarmony just to see what would happen. What a pointless exercise that was! They make you go through this hellish experience of filling out that questionnaire which is supposed to match you with people who you'll actually get along with--WRONG. Divorced older men who had kids and health problems were apparently who they believed "matched" me. I usually don't like divorced guys and I NEVER like kids, and those are my clearly stated preferences everywhere I go. So much for the "scientific process".
There's still one guy from that site who sends me these spam emails that involve sophomoric jokes about people pulling their pants down and so on--I've asked him to stop sending them but he sends them anyway.
$60 wasn't a big deal to me at the time, so no real harm done--but I do feel sorry for anyone who is not wealthy and plunks down his or her hard-earned cash expecting to have a good experience with eHarmony.
I belong to several free sites and they are great. This one is the best one so far. :) xoxo | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/12/2007 6:22:47 AM | I had trouble with cancelling my account with E Harmony, also. They keep sending me e-mails two years later, but only 2 matches after 6 months and they all lived far away, and already seemed to have been dating other people. I think by the time E Harmony gets a match for you, most dateable people have already found someone in their area.
"If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with."
- Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/12/2007 6:49:08 AM |
F..if you signed up online with a credit card you can get your credit people to refuse payment because the one disadvantage online merchants have is that because you don't physically sign for something you are not held accountable to have to pay it and by law they HAVE to reimburse you.
Uh, no. That's not how it works. You cannot have a bank "refuse payment" to a merchant. You can dispute the transaction, and possibly have the transaction charged back to the merchant if they're not able to prove a contract exists. Not having a signature does not denote, legally that a contract does not exist. If someone makes a completely unauthorized purchase on your credit card, you are most certainly not liable for it. However, recurring memberships (like gyms) don't get a monthly signature either. All the vendor would do is send the bank sufficient proof that you and the vendor have a recurring membership agreement and the bank would step away.
Read the contract with the vendor carefully before signing up to any online service. the rules of cancellation will be spelled out carefully. if you don't like what you read, don't sign up. | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/12/2007 8:36:55 AM | If you use American Express they are really good about settling these kinds of disputes. I had a problem with a gym that kept billing me when I moved away. They were great, refunding me the money from the time I left the area, and also arranging for a new credit card number so that they could no longer bill me !!
AMEX is the only credit card I like to use because they have an easy to use, free pay by phone feature that is very convenient. Other cards charge for paying by phone, and are pains in the buttsky to deal with. I also like just paying in full every month so AMEX is the way to go--especially the Costco cash back card. Costco rocks!!! | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/12/2007 9:01:00 AM | | i tried it once told me they couldnt find a match bc i was too honest in my questions and it took forever to fill out wish someone would shut themm down all lies plentyoffish now this is an honest site | |
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| eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 10/12/2007 10:01:07 AM | I had some extra $$$ a few years ago
There's such a thing as "extra" money???????
Anyway, here's my take on e-harmony and all other pay or non-pay sites that get into this matching based on compatibility/personality/interests stuff.
Despite what the experts say, that's not the stuff that makes relationships happen.
If it were, then considering that these experts have been doling out this wisdom for years, we'd see so many more couples in wonderful relationships and the divorce rate would be going down and the marriage rate up.
But just the reverse has been happening.
So my thinking, based on what I observe around me (I'm quite the "social scientist") is that great relationships are rare, maybe 5 to 10% of all relationships fall into that category. Many relationships limp along, some are rollercoasters, some are just always miserable, some aren't as great as the partners had hoped for, some are just glued together because they need each other because of their own dysfunctions.
Relationships aren't really about finding someone who accepts you for you than they are about working together and putting effort into being the kind of people you'd want to stay with, unless you're already that kind of person.
What I think basically makes for a great relationship is this:
* Chemistry = physical attraction and personality attraction (not "matching") and not letting yourself go or get sloppy/lazy
* Respect = No belittling, no grudges brought up, no calling names, lots of consideration for the partner
* Comfortable and safe = no yelling, tantrums, tempers, threats of divorce or threatening anything for that matter
* Show affection and some romance now and then - keep dating each other even when married
* No nasty habits that put off your partner
* Honesty/loyalty = trustworthiness
* Be flexible - you don't have to have compatible interests, you just need to know how to be compatible
* Pick your battles wisely - no power struggles; no "I'm right, you're wrong" arguments. When you do have arguments, there's a damn good reason to solve the problem.
* Great sex.
* Compromises are not "okay, we'll do it your way this time" but more about "okay, I can agree to that, we both get what we want as a result".
There are nuances to this of course but suffice to say that there's no way you can fill out a form and find out these above things. It's a more a matter of getting to know someone and seeing how the dynamics work out while evaluating them when dating.
And while evaluating them, the people involved have to know enough to make good decisions for themselves, and a lot of people just don't have that knowledge, which is why they end up with someone who causes them misery down the road.
So despite their bells and whistles, IMO, all any online site can do is offer up an introduction to someone else that you may not have ordinarily met in real life. The rest is up to you. | |
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