| I just don't get it -- sex on the first date?
Posted: 11/10/2004 1:09:52 PM | | Chemistry and the heat of the moment can and does act sometimes on a first date.Really,you overthought this one.The questions you originally post only apply to those who have the same morality as yourself.You are the type of person,Georgie who sees sex as belonging only in a monagamous relationship.Not all of us agree with that view. | |
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w8in4u
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Joined: 10/11/2004
Msg: 103 | |
| I just don't get it -- sex on the first date?
Posted: 11/13/2004 6:29:23 AM | I haven't read the whole post, yet I was talking to a friend about this yesterday and he pointed out that if you have sex with a guy the on the 'first' date, sure he may think you're great but given time to think it over - he'll probably assume you do this all the time therefore not creating an image of the type of girl he's looking for. He may call you back for another 'date', but that may be all that develops.
Sex is great, but all the same - without feelings - it's a F***.
Besides, when you get to know that person better you may find that you wished you hadn't given of yourself so freely. | |
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| I just don't get it -- sex on the first date?
Posted: 11/13/2004 12:54:51 PM | Well, it's over. He was playing games with me and his ex. This morning I woke up to find he'd gone to her house for the morning.
Damn kiddo,sorry to hear that.Been there,done that.Smoke a bongful,get some strange and move on.It's what I do.It works. | |
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| I just don't get it -- sex on the first date?
Posted: 11/13/2004 3:33:09 PM | | LOL thanks Taurus, but I don't do that sh*t. Would if I did. Instead I'm going to have a hot bath, light a candle, and read my new book in my own bed. ") | |
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| I just don't get it -- sex on the first date?
Posted: 11/14/2004 8:28:19 AM | *she is NOT an uptight , old fashioned prude,...* grow up ... i understand her... and i cant relate! you dont get it, do you... or did you just have to say something insulting and clever at the same time to say ANYTHING?! I USED TO TOKE ALOT AND ETC, ETC. SO DO WHAT YOU DO WHEN you HURT, BUT DONT BE INSULTING....
georgie, hugs for you,... been there, kinda going through it, ... Ex's are game players... ,
one day at a time and i agree with what Ticket told you before... (the human fraility thing... but be wise & careful, sweetie...
Later, and hugs to all.   | |
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xchuck
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Joined: 6/11/2004
Msg: 112 | |
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| I just don't get it -- sex on the first date?
Posted: 11/14/2004 9:47:58 AM | Thanks, blondago. I'm not a prude at all. I'm a very warm hearted, loving, and giving individual. I've made up my mind what to do about Don. I'm not waiting forever while he plays two women, so this is what I sent him:
Don: (Sunday)
I gather from your silence that you are either thinking things over, or have already made up your mind what you want to do. I’m not a game player, Don, never have been, never will be, and won’t start now. I waited so long to find someone who I thought was worthy of my heart, and in you, I thought I’d found that man. But things started falling apart on me the night you felt the need to get drunk because Raymonde was upset with you. Had things been over between the two of you, as you say they are, that shouldn’t have bothered you at all. It should have been in the past, where ex lovers belong, and if you felt for me what you said you did – it should have made Raymonde’s fits, letters, and demands to return her things, all the more reason in your mind to be well rid of her. I was sitting right there watching you get drunk over her wondering why the hell I was there to have a pity party with you over a woman who belonged in your past. I kept saying "forget her I’m here," but you kept feeling bad about her, instead of seeing the good woman you had adoring you right beside you. That made me feel so unwanted and had my bed been repaired, I would have left you that evening and come home then. Instead, I went to bed to get away from the pity party that didn’t involve me. The fact you felt the need to get drunk over her really showed me you aren’t over her, or that you still have strong residual feelings for her you haven't yet resolved.
Don, I’m not willing to play second fiddle to someone who is a past lover. You need to make up your mind just who you want, Raymonde, me, or someone else entirely. Yesterday was one of the worst days I can recall having since my husband passed away. You see, I gave you my heart and trust without reservation. You held it in the palm of your hand. I loved and adored you. I saw in you someone I could be happy with for the rest of my life. Perhaps, our time together showed you that I wasn’t the woman for you, and you were too afraid you’d hurt me if you told me, but it would have at least been honest.
Now the trust I put in you is damaged, bruised. I don’t know if you are only still suffering the pains of rediscovering life after your wife and grieving her still, and making mistakes out of pure loneliness or simply because you haven’t a clue what you really want, or perhaps you are terrified of loving someone again and perhaps grieving for them if they pass before you do again. I’ve been there, Don. No one can promise how long they’ll live, you either decide it’s not worth the risk and hurt and never love again, or you decide to go on and love with all your heart because spending all the wasted years alone just is not worth it. Whatever your decision, I do wish you well.
Should you decide it is me you want, you know where I am. However, I’m now much less inclined to jump in so openly as I did to begin with. If it is me you decide to pursue, I need you to end things permanently with Raymonde. I can’t listen to you talk about her daily and feel secure in your feelings for me. The past is past, we are the now if that is what you truly desire. But I cannot stand by and have you visiting your ex or talking about her daily, or tolerate her calling you daily, there is just no justifiable reason other than her making a last ditch play for you for you to allow it. It's not like you had children together and need to stay in touch for their benefit. And I especially don't understand it after how you told me she was a control freak and told you daily that you never did anything right – why would you want to live like that? I just don’t get it. But I do know that I’m not willing to get caught in the middle of the game and wait with my heart on my sleeve aching while you make up your mind.
Anyway, I leave this in your court. My heart is bruised, it hurts, but should you decide to move on, I’ll go my own way and say a prayer for your happiness and hope you think of me fondly now and then when you take out the memory of the time we shared (if you ever do). Because in my world, ex’s unless children are involved, should be memories.
I left a paper, my Bell bill, on your computer desk. Is my appointment with my doctor tomorrow or Tuesday? 11:15? If so, let me know. I’ll drop by afterward to pick up the last of my things after that appointment. Perhaps by then you’ll have an answer for me as to what you want to do? I’m not going to sit here waiting endlessly while you try to decide between two women (that’s what this feels like to me). Let me go if that’s what you want, but don’t play games and string me along. I don't deserve that.
(Should you want this ended without the complications of speaking with me face to face, leave these things in a bag by your front door and I’ll get the message.)
** This way my pain and his won't drag out forever. | |
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| I just don't get it -- sex on the first date?
Posted: 11/15/2004 6:11:55 AM | you dont get it, do you... or did you just have to say something insulting and clever at the same time to say ANYTHING?!
Lighten up Blondago.I didn't mean anything by that we're cool. | |
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| I just don't get it -- sex on the first date?
Posted: 11/15/2004 6:46:56 AM | It doesn't bother me in the least if people think I'm a prude, because they couldn't be more wrong about me. I'm a very generous, warm-hearted woman, with a lot of class and I'd never hurt anyone intentionally. If people want to point fingers at me because my morals and values are different than theirs that's okay, I've got tough emough skin to let that roll off my back. I know my school of thought is old fashioned, but I love being old fashioned. It suits me and I wear it with pride but not arrogance. Those who take offense to my comments in the forums or think I'm pointing judgemental fingers also misjudge me. Live and let live. I don't care if people screw strangers. That is their choice. How many they have sex with, is none of my business nor my issue to judge. My comments pertain to myself or how I see things in my world and are never meant to harm or insult anyone. Prude? LOL I can deal with that. I've dealt with worse for my beliefs, but then, I'm true to who and what I am, so it doesn't really bother me if others need to poke at me to feel better. These forums were designed so people of all walks of life, thoughts, and ideas, spiritualities, and ideas could come together and share them without fear of ridicule. That's how I see this area of this website. Hopefully others respect my POV as much as I respect theirs.
Have a great day, everyone :) | |
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| I just don't get it -- sex on the first date?
Posted: 11/15/2004 8:02:38 AM | Awesome Georgie!If we all believed the same way we would have a boring world and the REAL bluenose prudes would have nothing to complain about.I wish more folks that had your moral system had your live and let live attitude.Where I'm from the First Baptist Church downtown controls the local politics.I live in a large town,but they have small town mentality.They want things like the Super Bowl(which is coming in February)but they want the nude dancing,the porn and all the other adult entertainment out.You can't have it both ways.
I will never understand the mentality that says it's OK to send your kids to war to fight in a third world sh**hole,but you better not drink alcohol and watch naked women dance.I heard a woman who owns a showbar say one thing that made sense.She was very pro life and against abortion and said she couldn't understand how it could be a woman's choice to abort her baby,but it can't be her choice to sell her p**sy.
I called you a prude in jest.I know real prudes when I see them.Most of them are hypocrites.You definitely are not.Rock on Georgie!There's a soul mate for you out there. | |
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winn1
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Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 120 | |
| I just don't get it -- sex on the first date?
Posted: 3/8/2007 1:36:34 PM | I believe the answer lies between Instant Gratification or the REAL DEAL. once you've had the real deal you have nothing to worry about it It takes two to choose to and only 1 to not
Let us never judge others actions lest we walk a mile in their shoes. For some you can not trust enough to reach the real deal It's Deep Bonney | |
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winn1
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Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 121 | |
| I just don't get it -- sex on the first date?
Posted: 3/8/2007 1:46:19 PM | Very true We are not all the same and Howdy Doody to that. The qyestion should be Why do we spend so much time in other's business and so little on self. What are we afraid of. We must wonder why we spend so much time trying to change or question what others do. I don't know about you, but I have enough of me to work on.
We have to live with our thoughts and judgements not others. Live Life Your Life Always
Food for thought I hope
Bonney | |
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| I just don't get it -- sex on the first date?
Posted: 3/9/2007 6:10:22 PM | | I agree with what you are asking, its too bad times have changed the way they have, for the worst i think, no one seems to have respect for themselves anymore, and sex is almost viewed like kissing, no big deal, i agree it should be a private thing shared with someone that you care about, but sometimes i think you get carried away and care for them too quickly. | |
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| I just don't get it -- sex on the first date?
Posted: 3/9/2007 8:18:22 PM | If it works for you go for it if it doesn't then don't. That is all it takes. No judgment no BS.
Just don't go into it expecting anything besides what is happening. People get hurt by making assumptions or by making more of something then it is. | |
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| I just don't get it -- sex on the first date?
Posted: 3/11/2007 12:16:48 PM | | OP, regarding sex: the only thing that has changed is society's willingness to see it as acceptable on a first or early date. what hasn't changed, and will never change, is if someone truly cares for you, that person WILL respect your wish not to have sex until you're ready (whether that be on a first date or on your wedding night). | |
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