| Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 4/6/2006 7:46:04 PM |
ROCKWELL: the thing is that most guys see clubs as places to get laid-- not start relationships-- so if you meet one there and go home with him chances are he is going to take it as a given that the two of you are going to have sex.
personally i wouldn't go to a club if i was looking for someone to have a serious relationship with. the whole atmosphere of a club-- from the alcohol being served to the types of music that get played-- is geared towards sex; it's not the type of place one is easily able to show off, or notice, the characteristics that make a good long term (as in anything over a 1 nighter) partner.
Excellent Reply!!! | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 151 | |
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| Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 4/7/2006 1:57:40 PM | | the worst mistake that someone in this position can ever make is to assume that the guy will just shrug it off and be okay. in cases like this many (not all) women stick to the belief that at any time u can just stop. situations like this are very agrivating to men who only see that something is about to happen and then a second before everything stops. " a women should be able to say stop and i guy do it" a common belief of women and it is true but one must be wary of getting one's self into a situation where u end up ruining a potentially good experience based on cold feet. if u don't want things like this to happen when u meet a guy at a club and he walks u or drives u home. if u don't want to be phisical just say so and stick to it most guys and in the case of men most women will respect that. | |
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| Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/4/2008 12:28:40 PM | My opinion is how can you know you like someone at that point? I feel at that point its all face value that your attracted to. If you feel right then have sex. You shouldnt second guess the moment. If you dont recieve a call back its usually not an insult. Some guys just may not enjoy your physical company. Its possible to maintain a relationship after first night sex. As long as you make it clear the relationship wont be built on that. | |
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| Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/4/2008 2:03:33 PM | this is not a simple answer question any more than does a woman just want sex if she goes home with you from a bar drunk  That particular point of your question .. I think if you are looking for sex, you will probably get it, a relationship, much less likely under those circumstances. Sober on the other hand, it can happen, depending on the guys age, emotional place, rebound status, among other factors, and a few factors concerning the woman. A good rule in general is to give him your #, and don't sleep with him until he takes you someplace where neither of you is drinking | |
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| Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/4/2008 2:36:08 PM | 1) She met him in a bar. Likely alcohol was involved reducing his /her inhibition;
2) She chose to go home with him and did not have to;
3) She did not leave when he started pawing;
4) She should bed him.
If she dint want sex with him that night she
1) Shouldnt have gone home with him;
2) Should have left the moment his hands were on her.
I find it prudent for women to consider the after affects of sex at all. We all should. Think it through. But, for women to assume that sex on the first date is fatal to an LTR is error. It just isnt...
I think the context will determine the answer to your question though. Context being in a bar under influence of alcohol. Of course he sees her as a potential piece of ass. She went home w him from a bar. She should expect nothing less than to be treated like a bar fly or hoochiemamma.
Had you told me she met him on POF and spoke via Im or e-mail then phone prior to meeting then had the ? do I bed him or not on the first date the entire context and answer changes accordingly. Now you have a possible connection exacerbated by a face to face. Why not get naked and play. Could be hot! Might be fun to let the anticipation and sexual tension build too and then let it go n the second or third date. Whatever...
If she beds him and he doesnt call it is b/c
1) The sex wasnt what he wanted / needed;
2) She wasnt his type and he wanted sex and believed she did too;
3) He wasnt sure it would work out and tried her on for size and likely saw her doing the same with him.
ER | |
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| Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/4/2008 6:24:17 PM | | I think that the women should spell it out to the guy. Some guys play stupid but are very persistant to charm your intelect. You know what you want but being afraid at show time is not something you show. Stick to what you want with smooth reasuring conversation that good things comes to those who wait. | |
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| Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/4/2008 7:48:49 PM | she should leave
even better, she shouldn't go back to his home in the first place, especially when she didn't know him... and after a night drinking together...
if she wants to get to know him and the feeling's mutual, then perhaps meeting up the day after, sober and able to chat without slurring might help in achieving that aim, with less likelihood of said pawing sessions | |
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| Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/4/2008 8:08:44 PM |
They get to his place and the paws start goin...... she sais no, they just met, ( not because she doesnt want to , but because she likes him and wants to get to know him) After a while she feels guilty because the guy has worked himself into a horny frienzy
IF, she said "no" when the "pawing" started, how did he get so worked up? It doesn't sound like the "no" was as forthcoming as described, but perhaps said after the frenzied, horny state was attained. That, to me, sounds like a tease (based on the description of the rest of the evening and signals) and would explain why no call back.
~ds~ | |
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| Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/4/2008 8:34:14 PM | The best thing for you to do is not go to his house in the first place. If you're interested in him and want to get to know him, exchange numbers. It's not a good idea to go into a stranger's home. Talk with him on the phone until you're comfortable with him. If he's just looking for quick sex or a booty call, he'll probably blow you off anyway. That way you'll have a better understanding of his true intentions
- J | |
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TJ615
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Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 162 | |
| Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/4/2008 10:11:03 PM | | Well first of all never bring a guy back to your place from a bar. If course they are only going to be thinking about one thing. If you are really interested and his intentions are true he won't mind shooting you a text or giving you a call in the next day or two. Slow and steady is always the best bet. | |
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| Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/5/2008 5:51:13 PM | I suggest not going home with a dude you meet in the club BECAUSE!
HOLD ON FELLAS!!!
the reason is if you can't handle having sex and taking the risks involved like:
1. being called or treated like a slut after...
2. hooking up with the wrong guy
3. a relationship failing
4. not being able to be up his azz for the rest of your lives
5. making a bad decision and living with it
your not ready to go home with a dude
maybe even not on the 55th date!!! | |
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| Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/7/2008 2:10:17 PM | | I am very glad a woman has asked this question, because to be honest i have been that guy she is referencing. If i've been enjoying some adult beverages and a girl agrees to come back to my place, honestly, I'm all but expecting sex. If sober circumstances are much different. In fact i've liked a few of the girls that I met on what i thought was a 1 nighter, but get ready for this... she was the one just looking for sex and didn't call me back. My personal advice is give him your number, but just because he doesn't call doesn't mean he's not interested. In fact at the moment i have a girls number from a party earlier this weekend and i'm debating whether to call or not because i'm not sure she likes me. | |
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| Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/14/2008 10:05:37 PM | I think it's important to let the guy know right up front what your parameters for the evening will be.BEFORE the alcohol kicks in.
You just made eye contact across the floor.......
Everything looks about right,the height is good,dresses apropriately....
They flash a bright smile that says "yes, I have teeth"...........
They meander up by you and ask you to dance,politely....not gettin' right up on ya grindin'............
You have a nice dance that doesn't give all your secrets away the first five minutes.
Next step is to try to find a place to sit and chat a few minutes to get to know one another and let them know,you like them so far,but their won't be any sleepovers that same night even if all goes well.If you like each other,the chemistry is good,you've had a great time,then maybe they can take you home,and/or get your number for the second date.
This lets the guy know you like him,but you aren't an ole HO.Believe me,he'll respect you for it. Plus,men are wired to like the thrill of the chase.Give him enough flirts to be fun but not slutty,and the game is ON! He wants to be able to win that 2nd,3rd,4th date!!!
Don't be afraid to talk a little in the beginning just so both of you will be on the same page.
WHOO HOOO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |
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| Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/15/2008 8:39:43 AM | Ok, you are asking what goes on in our heads and only a few have answered that particular part of what you are looking for.. So here goes..
You came home with me, we are actually watching a movie, we touch, start to kiss... it has already gotten hot.. I am expecting or going to try my best to make it fo further... testign the waters but seeing you came hoem with me from a bar ai m not expecting a no or stop... now this is where it splits, depending on the guy.. one type (not me) will be so worked up he will neeed some kind of staisfaction.. he doesnt want "Blue Balls", he will either have to do it himself and be pissed off or you can help him out... we all know how.. but that might e degrading and he will agian expect you gt go further...
Or senondly, there is the type( me) that can handle that and making out is sufficent for the first "date"... and I have enough respect for a lady that I abide with her wishes,, ot sayign i am not disappointed fofcourse, but that would make me want to call or be called to carry on tgtting to know who you are and taking it further eventually... If the kisisng was nice.. there was a connceitio then I am so gonna call you the next day to make a dinner date or something...
Basically I guess it depends on the morals of the guy what goes through his head but it will quite honestly end up in wishing that they had gone further and
Alsohol will obviously effect the seenario as well and blurr some peoples judgemtns and moods..but you can be sure guys are usually horney and expecting to get laid if you are at his place after a club...Probably even if you have told them it isnt going to happen... | |
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| Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/15/2008 5:03:00 PM | Even though I am a woman.............I totally agree with you Rushwi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He said: SOME of us have hearts and brains as well.
Dont speak for us "hetrosexual" males OK ?
Maybe he feels it is what she wanted and thinks she is great. we all have feelings and who knows. she needs to communicate though...I wonder why she feels guilty or responsable for hi8s getting allhot and bothered...she shouldnt be going along with it all if she didnt want sex. what did expect him to do if not get turned on? soundslike he is getting mixed messages.
I met my last boyfriend in a bar and he was going for a beer after work and so was I. we were together for years and nearly got married but life didnt permit. I dont regret a minute of it. thunderstruck and lightning hit. lol
theproblem with adults is they all have additudes and baggage and no one can see others at face value anymore.
there are many good men out there and they should get the benefit of doubt just like the good women like me.....I listen to men complain about women who misused them in their life and i never did any of the things they talk about........
Dont be a SEXIST all you old farts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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