| | Should I stop being nice?Page 3 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | Hooking to the first post: ok, folks, what's the deal? Would you launch a complaint campaign if you play the lottery for, say, umpteen months and you get nothing in return? Same thing.
Negative feedback can be sugar-coated (thnx but no thnx), deleted-without-reading, just ignored, so what the F? | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 1/23/2011 12:35:10 PM | OP. Whats the point in even worrying about this. You don't get many replies. Right, so what are you going to do, change your full personality, the way you look just in the hope you will get a few replies.
You are the way you are mate, accept it, live with it and let nature take its course.
I am also one of the 1000s on here who has also not had replies to messages i have sent to Woman that i would possibly like to date, i have also had plenty messages that i have not replied too, thats just the way internet fishing goes. I have yet to go on a date with someone on here, but have met some really nice people through the meets, get to the meets, great fun.
Swings and roundabouts mate, one day POF may work to your favour, maybe not, or life may just throw you a card you like from another direction.
Change for no one or no thing!!! | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 1/24/2011 3:30:39 AM | | OP nothing wrong with being nice ....Your profile says make the sunshine ..... A women cant do that for you . you have to make the sunshine all buy yourself ... Once you do that glow will have women being nosey to see why the glow... | |
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JNP 65
| | Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 54 | |
| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 1/24/2011 4:53:44 AM | | Look on the bright side,with this new feature show me on here you will never know who has read your mail unless you pay to find out.That would soon mount up as you pay for each individgel person you mail.It saves the embarrasement of seeing unread deleted.The way i look at it is if i get a reply then fine but if not plenty more fish in the sea.Lifes too short to worry about who doesnt reply.Its always nice to be nice. | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 1/24/2011 5:06:49 AM |
Its always nice to be nice
No it's not.
Sometimes being nice, can just lead to making a situation/problem a lot worse.
There are times when being "nice" isn't the right thing to do.
I wouldn't think it was "nice", if someone wasn't straight up with me (even if they know it will upset me/p*ss me off) ... I'd actually think that person was a being a c*nt! | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 1/24/2011 5:32:32 AM |
I like long messages. If someone sends me a long, well thought out message telling me about themselves and commenting on my profile beyond the whole "You're so (compliment) how are you still single?" and other such drivel, I'll more than likely reply.
Boy, i guess ill never get along with you then.
I type very short messages, and cannot fathom for the life of me why i would be inclined to write mini essays and waste my time and energy for a total and utter stranger who is in all probability, going to delete them anyway?
Are you actually like this in real life too? Will a "Hi" not suffice to get conversation going? | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 1/24/2011 5:47:13 AM | | I certainly don't send essays (at least not for the first email), but I try and send something that is related to their profile. Sadly that still doesnt seem to help. If i could find the "delete" button, then I would probably just get rid of the information held by this site. | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 1/24/2011 5:54:07 AM | The problem with that Rob is you don't know whether or nor they're full of hot air or not on this place.
Hence why i always send something not relating to their profiles at all. I've contacted over 230 members so far and very few have gad the pleasure of getting something unique and beyond a paragraph in length. Ive had 5 responses back. Which only goes to prove my point, if they're interested, no matter what you write, whether its long or short, you will get a reply.
Women who have contacted me first so far is around the 60 mark. Ive only been a member for just about a month now too. | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 1/24/2011 6:49:31 AM | | I can agree with a paragraph being a great start, but like alot of people, I don't respond if someone sends me a single sentence. "Hi, how are you?" and similar just get deleted. I used to try and respond to anyone that sent me a message. It's amazing how fast your principles get sapped away. | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 1/24/2011 8:06:06 AM | I've contacted over 230 members so far and very few have gad the pleasure of getting something unique and beyond a paragraph in length. Ive had 5 responses back. Which only goes to prove my point, if they're interested, no matter what you write, whether its long or short, you will get a reply.
Women who have contacted me first so far is around the 60 mark. Ive only been a member for just about a month now too.
I think I got a thread deleted last time I said it..... But you've brought up the point again and pretty much repeated my own words.
I have sent out possibly hundreds of first contact messages in my time here and next to none of those have actually gotten a response.
Odd then how nearly every single first contact message i've received has progressed into chatting and eventually meeting that person..... Which has obviously been a good thing :)
My conclusion? lots of women who simply are not here for dating, more than likely here just to see how many people fancy them. It's little more than a bit of window shopping, ego boosting fun.
Let's not even go into the conspiracy theories of fake and "experimental" profiles.
Is it my fault that I seem unable to spot the genuine profiles? Maybe, maybe not... Who knows?
Now what concerns me is that I know a lot of women are of the "man should make the first move" mentality, so there must be many out there who would like to contact me or you or whoever, but do not because of this misguided belief. How though do we find them? how do we know they're interested? We can't see how often they visit our profile, so we have no clue.....
Rob, the lady of your dreams could be looking at your profile every single day, wishing you to message her and you'd have no idea. | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 1/24/2011 9:27:20 AM | I've personally reported no less than 20 fake profiles since ive joined. TinEye is a wonderful little tool anyone should have if you detect studio looking photos and only one of them. Very sad little people.
I've got called a player for calling it like it is. This is no different than cold calling telesales.
Your pitch is our message, your product if your profile. Conversion rates are even more dire than telesales at anywhere between 1-2% if you're lucky as the marketplace is at saturation point and you have to be really something special of a salesmen, or have a fantastic product to get noticed and to get your "sale" (which in this case is a date).
So, I play the numbers game. I send out generic messages all the time and see if one replies. I don't get angry, or mad, or upset if someone doesn't reply, because i really dot care about some stranger who i don't even know is real or not. I'm nice, polite but i don't take any sh1t from anyone on here, or in real life. I've asked for someone's phone number only to be met with excuses, which to me is very plainly "you're my plan B". I have told quite a few more eloquently "put up, or shut up". If you want something, you find solutions, if you don't want something, you find excuses.
I really don't see any girl in real life (or guy to keep this balanced) complaining you've said the same thing to other people you've met before and to try and be original  | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 1/24/2011 10:35:42 AM | Personally I dont think that there is a set formula to impress. Just taking a cross section of people on here gives the impression that everything looks at messages everybody looks at the message in a different way. Some too long some too short, some sound false.
Me personally I have messaged people & been ignored (hasnt everyone) I have been messaged by girls out of the blue, but because I am a decent bloke & never consider myself ignorant or above anyone else I always reply. But the people that get me are the ones that just send "LOL" which strikes me of one of two things. They are either being polite & answering for the sake of it or they alternatively have the personality of a gnat.
When sending a mail I always think about what I am typing & put a few questions in there so that they can type something back & include some questions so that the converstaion can flow. Then & only then can you decide if you have anything in common. | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 1/29/2011 2:21:29 PM | | Yep, just be yourself and if being nice comes naturally then dont try and disguise it. Someone will appreciate you for your qualities. It may just take a little time. | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 9/16/2011 2:00:53 AM | Just be yourself. simple!!!!!!!
If your a nice people then be that.
I'm a nice guy and don't see why I shuld change to get some one if they like you you will heard back (or have I missed the point lol) good luck tho  | |
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Carm0n
| | Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 66 | |
| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 9/16/2011 2:04:24 AM | the op.
When messaging women on here?
Yet again I look at a profile and send a simple polite PM showing interest and inviting a reply... Yet again it gets deleted with no reply...(Is my spelling that bad? Surely I'm not that ugly, then again.....)
So maybe I should just do what everyone else does and leave something like:
"Hey babe, that cleavage don't lie do you want to be my star girl? Reply quickly now others are waiting!"
What do other members think..
I think, they will answer if they are interested. its that simple and you should carry on being 'you'
its always men who start these threads. do you really think so many would fancy you?
life is not that easy or we would not need a dating site, the reason we do, is that its a game of numbers  | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 9/16/2011 2:11:30 AM | I love men who make me laugh so msg with humour always get a responce .
Stop being nice no be yourself is what i believe people either like you or not .
But like yourself be true to yourself always | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 9/16/2011 2:14:17 AM |
Quite simply, I'm a boring, uneducated, illiterate, potty mouthed oik who's life is dominated by work and inturpted only by a few hours every week knocking a small white ball around a field with a stick. I do not consider myself attractive in anyway, have a crap taste in music and the fashion sense of tramp..... But I'm comfortable with that and at least I'm honest.
OP, I've had a look at your profile and the above paragraph is not a nice introduction at all...try to be more positive and enthusiastic about life, most women are not attracted by just handsome men but by their confidence and charm. | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 9/16/2011 2:49:50 AM |
Most of us really dont care how much you earn, all we ever bloody want is a man who can type more than 3 words, come out with something more original than 'hi nice tits', 'wow' or 'nice weather' and can possibly send us a mail that would bring a smile to our faces instead of making us drop asleep before we've reached the last word.
This is interesting.
I get close to 100% replies to my emails, certainly over 80%.
I can write a good message, I'm a writer and publisher by profession, but when I say, as I always do, that I'm more or less on a low income due to the effects of my divorce the replies dry up. Obviously I don't put it quite that way but I'm always honest about myself.
I've had responses of attractive women interested in meeting up, they compliment my profile and me but it all dries up when after two or three emails they ask about what I do, its then I explain my position.
I don't really mind, I understand it, a little disapointed perhpas but I put it down to life. However, its clear to me that most women do infact make decissions based on income and wealth. | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 9/16/2011 2:59:58 AM | [However, its clear to me that most women do infact make decissions based on income and wealth.]
I agree with that-i am off sick,long term,cos that means i'm broke,i'm pretty much shafted...  | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 9/16/2011 2:39:10 PM | Sound like you're finding out who the real players are, and they say it's the boys.
The "singles site trawling female" of today have become so ignorant and unfreindly, none of us stand much of a chance. | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 9/16/2011 3:06:38 PM |
However, its clear to me that most women do infact make decissions based on income and wealth.
Some do...so do some men. I wouldn't date someone who was permanantly skint. | |
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| Should I stop being nice?
Posted: 9/16/2011 3:21:47 PM | The op also says make the sunshine .
A women cant do that for him he has to do that for himselfs ,
Im single as well and so what no big deal .
I make sure my own life is full of fun .
Im reponsible for my own happyness , not a guy .not my friends
How horrible to put that on a person .
If life kicks you down , get right back up and kick it back with steal toe caps .
Im to bizzy liveing to bother what life has instore .
Guys think about this would you date a women who was grumpy never happy .
Ithink not .
Dont put it on another person your life is your own start living it .
Stop being nice no but start blooming living
Today i gave my kids a preview of my new costume they just laughed there hesads of .
get smileing op
OP if you were at a party loads of people one side of the room was glum .
the other side was all giggles and smiles were would you want to sit .
If your profiles glum and you act glum people will look elsewere were the sun is shinning
GLUM ISNT ATTRACTIVE | |
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