My rule would be , if we don't play together, it's not fairplay
Male or female dont matter ... we have had this discussion before ..and it is agreed that if either of us gets the need to have another sex partner male or female it will be ok ... but the other one of us has to be involved ... now that would just involve female for me as i have no interest in being with another guy ...we have also decided that if we did this sort of thing again it would be with another couple married couple ..for safety issues and jealousy issues we would pick a couple that were just like us happy married and mostly monogamous...just wanting to scratch an itch .. this has already happened once mostly by accident...now we dont want to be swingers ...but we realize that what happened that time was ok with us and could be an option again
we dont seek out such a thing ..and would talk about it first if the want to ever arose ...we believe that having and acting on desire is acceptable ...but if it was not both ok and participated in by the other partner in some way even if by just being there and watching ..it would be cheating
actually I turned down a situation one time ...we were at a party and this woman and I had a connection and did some flirting ...my wife noticed and told me ..we can take her home with us and I will watch ...I said no not unless you want to play too | 
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