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| | Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?Page 9 of 16 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16) | Lil Brooker, good to see you posting, girl! I am sorry that things did not work out with your beloved, very sorry. My husband was deeply loved and was unfaithful to me, it hurts deeply.
The meets and greets are to see if there are any sparks. I have met a number of men whom I enjoyed their company, but I was not at all attracted to. It is good to make new friends, but most of us, or at least many of us, are looking for love again and that requires sexual chemistry for me. All any of us can do is to keep casting that rod out and hope that the next one might be our keeper. It requires a sense of humor, patience, and optimism to keep fishing. | |
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| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/11/2010 9:33:07 PM |
scurvy little spider: " I'm a flaming dork, but he somehow doesn't seem to notice. "
YOU'RE a flaming dork? I still trip over my own feet at 56! Hahaha  | |
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daffie
| | Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 203 | |
| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/12/2010 2:58:13 AM | i meet a lot of men in my daily life and travels.
every now and again i think..."mmmmmm he's cute, nice....i'd like to go out with him".
i've met a few pofers over the past 3 years and not one of them would i like to have "pashed"...which to me is the big test of whether i'd like to see a man again...shallow, you say? maybe, but true...
i'm not looking to make a friend when i go on a date...i've got plenty of those....i'm
looking for a man i can have a relationship with.
dating on here is a gamble, just as it is elsewhere...
when the men i don't fancy msg., me i always reply with..."thanks but no thanks"...
(when the young ones try it on i always reply..."sorry, you're much too old for me!")...
somewhere out there is my guy...
he'll be a little zany, lots of fun, intelligent, happy, compassionate, own his home, won't be afraid to step outside his comfort zone, have a comfortable bed...very important, that...or be prepared to buy one...and be fully aware of who he wants in his life...
easy... | |
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| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/12/2010 3:40:14 AM | | Daffie, I do not think it is shallow to need to find someone sexy. For me, it is not so much about their face, as it is about their personality that makes a man sexy. Looks are in the eye of the beholder and one woman's hunk of burning love might leave another one cold. It is what it is. | |
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| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/12/2010 3:41:41 AM | ^^^^^Well said 
Now if we could just find ourselves a couple of "sexy men" we could get off this site..............lol | |
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| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/12/2010 3:57:44 AM |
I like the way you write. I, too, feel like the victim of some crime. At 51, I met and fell in love big time. I loved him, our life and our anticipated future. At 56, with a wedding in the planning still in love, I left, because of infidelity (his).
It makes me so sad when I hear stories like you and Amy shared.. I also fell deeply in love with a man in my early 50's. He was the most romantic man I had ever met.. He swept me off my feet for the next year calling and proposing to me 3 times a day.. He told me he fell in love with me the first weekend he met me.. Course I laughed at the time and thought he was just being funny. But he was fun and so enjoyable to be with. Six months later I fell in love with him. Two years later he left one night never to return..
I've only dated two men since (met online) and there was no spark. Yes, it is tough and possibly, at my age unrealistic. It's sad because I think I've still gotta a lot to give in love and life.
I waited 3 years to date again.. I have met many many men from online and like you there was not a single spark. Keep the faith because I recently experienced a darn explosion..
I hope to experience it again.. at least it told me I was still very much alive and well..
thecatsmeoww | |
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daffie
| | Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 207 | |
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| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/12/2010 5:19:59 AM |
daffie said:...so then cats...
that big bang wasn't an earthquake after all?...
No the tremors felt were not from the ground..
amethyst10616 said:I am envious, Cat! Lucky you and here's to hoping for a year of 4th of Julys!
Now do not go getting all excited here!!! It is after all a very very rare happening..
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/12/2010 7:02:00 AM | I have been totally appalled regarding how some men my age still are yearning for the beuty queens, and put physical appearance first and foremost on their wish list. They just seemingly cannot help it, and finding men who value a woman for more than a her face and/or body is rare.
Actually, only after a man finds a woman's face and figure attractive and she is sexually appealing to him does she qualify as a potential mate. Physical appearance is simply the first qualification men consider. If one educates oneself a bit about evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology and perhaps evolutionary anthropology one will come to readily understand why men, regardless of their age, are most interested in mating with physically attractive, youthful appearing, sexually appealing women.
Every man I have ever met in person has told me that I am much better looking in person, and several have told me that my personality made them think twice about dating larger women, as they thought that most larger women were asexual, frumpy plainly dressed women who had low self esteem, and that I was sexy, dressed stylishly, and had great self esteem.
This is probably the best strategy for most women to follow. Socialize where the men are. Join hiking clubs, skeet clubs, the gym. Play bridge, play golf and tennis. Follow your interests. Chances are you will run into men who do life as you do, get to know them and things may work out. As a man spends time around a woman he may tend to find her more attractive over time.
Also, men's standards of beauty and sexuality adapt to the women available to them within their immediate environment. If a woman lives in a major metropolitan area full of models or movie stars she faces a lot of stiff competition. If she lives where there are a lot of men and few available or attractive women her chances are much better no matter her appearance. | |
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| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/12/2010 7:37:25 AM |
somewhere out there is my guy...
he'll be a little zany, lots of fun, intelligent, happy, compassionate, own his home, won't be afraid to step outside his comfort zone, have a comfortable bed...very important, that...or be prepared to buy one...and be fully aware of who he wants in his life...
easy..
So he can have all the things you list but if you do not step a little out of your own comfort zone you might just miss him..
thecatsmeoww | |
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Fifi47
| | Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 212 | |
| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/12/2010 2:25:56 PM | | Mr. Happy, opinions are what makes us all different, and mine works for me and believe it or not some other people might think as I do. I do not agree with you, never will, and your opinion is not right for everyone, nor is mine. I was referring to the men I met in person that I have met online first, they are the ones who told me that I was better looking than my pic, and they had a negative idea about larger women until they met me. | |
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daffie
| | Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 213 | |
| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/12/2010 5:03:34 PM | ^^he can be all i listed,
and more...
i understand what you're saying but i don't confine myself to admiring one type of man...in fact right now i have a thing for long haul truckies....
(something about those large rigs.)
i'm always ready to leave my "comfort zone"...
i don't think i have one...
although i do love my big bed... | |
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| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/12/2010 8:26:44 PM | | Yes men and women think differently. That is true. The older I get the more it astounds me. I had a male friend tell me this weekend that all a woman has to be to him is a bit attractive and he would sleep with her......yuck. Now for me there has to be something there besides being a bit attractive. Like personality, character.....just to name a few. So I am pretty confused about dating right now. Leave it to a male friend to confuse me who is confused even more.....so right now I am paranoid that they only find me a bit attractive and maybe even sleep with me and nothing else. But for me to be able to go down that road I need more than that........yes I am one of those.....but I finally figured out if I take my time.....reason things out maybe they will line out. I am not quick to jump for someone in fact my picker is a bit crooked so I take my time. Hopefully this is the right answer.....heck I have done all the wrong ones.... | |
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| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/12/2010 9:29:10 PM | Yes, it is true...most of the older gentlemen like young, crisp women...and I say ..Let them have it.
My philosophy is that at one point he will get too old for her and she will dump him for a younger-older man. He will get his little aches and pains, will not be able to satisfy her as he used to...and he will end up longing for someone his own age.
The question then is...who will want him then? | |
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| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/12/2010 10:13:52 PM |
I had a bloke on here who was 56 tell me he wasnt into 'older' women.
I got a chuckle out of that. I guess he doesn't see himself for his own age! People get that way. I've read a number of times that most people (both genders) think they look younger than others their age, but the objective reality doesn't quite match. if it makes people happy and if it works for them, more power to them...but let's face it, it might be a fantasy, but very few people end up with someone either way older or way younger than their ages. usually within about 5 yrs. at some point, the reality hits home...i imagine after enough rejections, people finally "get" it. | |
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| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/12/2010 10:23:54 PM |
Yes, it is true...most of the older gentlemen like young, crisp women... Reality eventually sets in. Let's face it, not many are attracted to people who are way older...unless there are some other goodies to be had...even then, they're not really attracted to the person, more the lifestyle they find exciting (even if unbeknownst to them). I know in my 20's, I thought 30 was old, and so on through my my 30's. When I was 37, some guy was hitting on me and he said was 37...that is, until he found out I was 37...then he told me the truth...he was 42...he figured 42 was acceptable to me...um...no, it wasn't. i was still in the frame of mind of thinking 33 was just yesterday, so i saw myself that way...consequently, 42 shocked me. everything is relative. come to think of it, i just answered the question a lot of guys ask: why do women within 5 yrs of the guys age think he's too old? it's that mindset...and as time goes faster each year, it 10 yrs seems like yesterday...you get my drift... | |
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| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/12/2010 11:45:42 PM | Yep. it's tough ,, seems there's a brick wall somewhere that stops people enjoying themselves .,.,,,admittedly there has to be some initial connection ,, but the people I know who have got together for reasons of companionship , friendship ,and mutual
enjoyment seem to be a lot happier than those here who seem to complain if one's little toe is slightly in the wrong direction!!!!!
Come on people , stop seeking perfection , find a friend .. they last longer anyway .
Or is everyone too set in their ways to compromise at this age ??? | |
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daffie
| | Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 221 | |
| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/13/2010 1:27:53 AM | ^^it's not only women who discount men who are the same age and older...
at the age of 59 i'm probably not on the search list of the majority of men my age, and older...
i fancy myself as a young, crisp older woman... | |
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| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/13/2010 2:50:49 AM | Yanno, I know this is gonna sound weird, but I never really "dated" much. I'm not even sure what that means. My ex-wife and I hung around as friends before she tripped me and beat me to the floor. After that, we were at each other's place when we weren't working. We were divorced in 2003, and since then I've had a couple playmates, and one fairly intense romantic relationship that was pretty weird (but we're still close friends). But nothing I would call "dating".
In my youth, I had GFs, or we'd live together, or we'd be f**kbuddies, but still, nothing I'd consider "dating"
So, what is this "dating" thing, ladies?  | |
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| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/13/2010 5:05:23 AM | I have a daughter that is a younger woman and so are her male friends and boyfriend. She brings her cute friends to my house and I get to admire their beauty and playfulness and demeanor. So I am not jealous nor do I want to be a younger woman. In fact I tend to have those mother instints whenever it comes to anyone younger than I...men or women.
I think why some here are so annoyed at it...is the way its presented. The people that post about dating younger men and younger women do it in a manner that is pretty offensive and shameful to be older. They do so by making attempts to stick everyone in that jumbled group. They blame menopause, aging, erectile dysfunction, wrinkles, saggy breast. beer bellies, they throw the whole pot in why they are dating younger than them. Some do it with anger trying to poke fingers in the other's face at why our age isn't good enough.
But I also remember these same people that are making it offensive and shameful to age .......but I remember they are my age. They are also aging, they are also dealing with the same problems I am.....sometimes its fear, I look in the mirror and gosh my face is sagging and the wrinkles are coming fast and furious. My hair isn't so shiny, and I wear bra's that life them high to the sky.......I don't know or care how they feel about women or men my age. I find men and women my age that like me . I no longer personalize their statements. I have a friend that did date a younger woman I liked her she was perky and had a wonderful demeanor I saw what he saw in her....he didn't date her because she was younger but because of who she was. Everyone that met her loved her. Then I had another friend that liked younger women my Daughter's age. He followed them around and made everyone in our group very uncomfrontable whenever he was with us.....especially if any of us had our Daughters along. His behavior was honestly creepy. He is a very nice looking man for his age but he would have told you everyone guessed his age 10 yrs younger.....he truly thinks that. But he is like the rest of us.....he looks great for his age but not any younger, but his behavior and attitude are younger than the rest of us.....something we call immaturity.
So men and women that date younger some do it because they like the person they met and want to get to know them.......so just do it because they can wear it like a badge. Me I perfer men my age. But if I had met someone that I liked and they were younger it wouldn't matter if I liked them I wouldn't do it because it would be a feather in my cap................. | |
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| Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/13/2010 5:17:42 AM |
understand what you're saying but i don't confine myself to admiring one type of man...in fact right now i have a thing for long haul truckies....
(something about those large rigs.)
Hmmm how interesting.. I tend to like 3 different types of men.. The first one of course is the drop dead knock off my socks type that is somewhat of a jock.. The second type is what I call the middle man he lays between type one and three. The third type is the professor he has much to offer up in intelligent conversation and there are some real good looking ones out there trust me on that.
Ever thing you have a thing for truckies cause you like big things and their ability to control such a large rig turns you on. Or is it because he will not be the in your face 24/7 type of man..
Keeps life interesting to say the least..
thecatsmeoww | |
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