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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?      Home login  
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 Enchanted107
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 251
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Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?Page 11 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Oh wow! Mr. Evil is dead! Come on! Let's see your rebuttal. This thread has suddenly become very interesting to read. I am on the edge of my seat...
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 252
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:29:39 PM
I advocate for meeting asap.

If I meet a girl online and she won't meet me within two weeks, WITHOUT a friend, I move on. The only exception is if I am moving soon or she is.

Why? Because I don't care for timid little mice. Women who meet a guy in a bar or club, give out a number, and meet that guy for a date later are taking a much larger risk than talking to a man for 2 weeks online. You have a lot more time to get to know what sort of person you're dealing with then.

I am a grown man. I don't go on dates with a girl and her friend like I am 14 again. Screw. That.

Then again, I am 27. The internet is not a new, scary thing for me. I can and have had voicechat conversations with girls I've met online using a webcam and a mic.

I think a lot of this issue boils down to generation. I have pretty female friends who have been meeting men online since they were in highschool. That is just how they date. If you meet in a public place and aren't completely brain-dead, the safety issue is not any more of an issue than if you meet someone in person at a grocery store.

You can't live your life governed by fear. A coward dies a thousand deaths.

-8sf8
 loves2travel365
Joined: 1/25/2010
Msg: 253
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Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/29/2010 9:46:44 PM
I back to the online dating thing ans am definitely approaching it different than i did last time i tried this previously i was ok with waiting till they felt comfortable but then i meet them and its not working. Great so i just wasted 3wks of my life for nothing. I met my x of 3yrs at a club but before that i was trying the online thing and just finding it to be annoying. Many women didnt look like who they said they were or just wanted to waste time emailing 100times before meeting. I give it about 2wks max unless they are out of state if you dont want to meet up by then i'm moving on.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 254
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/30/2010 6:31:55 AM
imo, it's a happy meeting in when to meet. If you meet someone here and have a good re pour, then say depending on distance,I say to meet no more then 2 to 3 weeks.

I found the one's who don't like that either they are here just for booster shots or
recovering and still healing from past ventures. I'm a good listener but not a Internet therapist! lol

It would be nice if they just said their here just for talk,instead of looking to date,long term stuff, etc.

Yet,I have met some lovely people here and it show in their speech,character, and beauty. They are a true blessing to me and the fora...
 A Moment in Time
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 255
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/30/2010 6:40:41 AM
I think that if you meet right away it is a good thing, this way you don't spend a lot of time talking with someone and envisioning how they are only to find that there is no chemistry and it isn't going anywhere.

You don't need to bring anyone with you, just meet in a public place - a donut shop for a coffee is a good place, bring your own vehicle this way you meet, have a coffee check each other out and then it is short and sweet and if you do decide you want to continue the date you can always go somewhere else, if it doesn't work out then you go your own separate ways. Bringing someone else on the date is not necessary and I wouldn't want someone to do that to me.
 EddRook
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 256
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Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/30/2010 9:56:11 AM
I don't personally have much interest in sending lots of mails. I'd rather just go and meet someone straight off.

For all the emails that you can send, usually you know within the first ten seconds after meeting someone whether or not you find them attractive enough to want to spend time with. I'd rather mail someone to say 'hey, your profile looks interesting, fancy meeting over a coffee?' than trying to find out about them by emails.
 unfisch
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 257
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/8/2010 1:15:19 PM
Especially if you like someone or theyre really nice, they wont be online long. The most likely to really be available are those here the shortest, not the longest time.

If youve been online a year, enjoy it. Im guessing your odds of making a match are less than slim. Those Ive met and dated were all here a mere few days.

The others on here were either unwilling to meet or when I did meet them had objectionable qualities they concealed..

If youre here to meet and get involved, you will. If youre here to start a fan club and dabble, you can do that as well..Mostly thats the deal online. Dabblers afraid of getting a life. Thats why theyre here.

When something changes, then the wont be here..

The great joke with the cross symbol, Put this on your profile if you know someone who died looking for a date on POF..Right on.

There is no rush, Its your life. If you want one meet somebody..Otherwise keep emailing. Maybe thats a life too, but not in my book, its not.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 258
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Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/8/2010 1:43:51 PM
Unless a man that initiates contact with me comes up with a plan or suggestion for a date or to meet in real life, I have to assume he is not interested in actually dating me.
I have decided I barely have time for a real relationship so I certainly don't have time for a fake one.
I'm just tired of guys who want to go straight from "Hello" to discussing sex, or wanting to drag me to chat on yahooey because they want to send me their pictures. It aint happening.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 259
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/8/2010 3:37:37 PM
What's the rush?I would ask "what's the delay"?. If you are looking for love in your life then why do you want to waste so much time chatting online when you could be getting to know them in person.Why waste time?
 Coma White
Joined: 4/11/2004
Msg: 260
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/9/2010 11:05:11 PM
I'd rather meet sooner than later too. I have plenty of friends I can internet chat with. The whole point of this site is to network in the real world. You can't really get to fully know a person only through online chat.
 Fierysunlvr
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 261
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Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/11/2010 8:29:03 PM
I am very uncomfortable with giving out my number or meeting anyone that I've met on online sites. I've had guys immediately ask me "what are you doing this weeknd, or whats your phone number" This turns me off. Its not that I think they are crazy or harmful, its just that I don't want lots of phone calls to screen or return. Maybe I'm expecting too much, but I'd like to have a few weeks or months worth of emails and maybe IMs before I give out my number. In real life, I've met guys who seemed nice at the first meet, but later when they had my number, they called me several times a day and acted jealous and demanding when I didn't call them back. It was annoying getting out of those situations and I want to reduce the risk of the possibility of that happening with an online guy. I have had guys on here who wanted my # rt away, without knowing anything about me and that scared me off a little
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 262
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/11/2010 8:35:07 PM
^^^Don't give out your home phone.If they insist on hearing your voice hook up a mike to your computer and you can chat live that way and even live chatting on webcam.As for meeting people make dates in the afternoon at a local coffee shop when it's busy and take a cab there and back.There is no need to live in fear.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 263
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 264
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/11/2010 11:44:08 PM

I think when people are usually in a big rush to meet they're only looking for a one night stand because most people are Leary about meeting off the net there's alot of crazy people out there so if someone wants to meet like right away than I'd be suspicious. Loyalgal01


I think us women are taught to be paranoid. One of my favorites: You are meeting someone from the internet? What if he is an ax muderer? Well, how do you know the person on the barstool next to you isn't an ax murderer? Or the fellow on the bus? The media are fearmongers. The reason these things are news is because they don't happen very often. I have lived alone for a long time, I am still all in one piece.

The thing is, you are on here to meet people. The guys I have chatted with complain the women don't want to meet, they want email pals. Safety is always an issue, you should always be in the habit of knowing your surroundings and have an escape route. My experience is most of the time you will want to escape because of reasons other that he is a pervert. Usually, you find there isn't mutual interest and you have spent some time with a nice fellow.

You will get to pretty much know with in one or two chats what someone is up to. And here is a novel idea! Ask them directly: "What are you looking for?" Usually if sex comes up in the first or second conversation, I pass. Tell them you are not trolling the internet for a sex partner. Believe me, their spots come right out. Sure I get proprositioned, I thank them for the compliment and tell them no. It is no different, really than meeting someone in person somewhere. After all, we don't want to date on the internet, we want some one with us, right?
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 265
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/12/2010 11:48:12 AM
The main reason for me is because I want to see what the person actually looks like before investing too much time with them. If they started out with a lie by posting older pics, why would I want to get to know a liar....sure we may wind up getting along well. It doesn't change the fact that they're a liar. I'm sure most con artists are very affable too....but I don't want to get to know them either.
 vertical95
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 266
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/12/2010 1:29:19 PM
I don't think 2 people need to meet right away. I would like to have a few email or phone conversations first. Having said that, I don't think people should wait several weeks to meet either. There is some middle ground in between these viewpoints. Personally I would like to meet a man around 1-2 weeks after initial contact. Sometimes it may be longer due to our schedules.Such as nne person being away on vacation or a business trip.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 267
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Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/12/2010 1:34:50 PM
To each his/her own. Those that I *have* been pushed to meet early have been, if not disasters, at least a biggol waste of Godde's good time. Peeps who have had NO life of the mind. Who think that ONLY the physical is of import: smell, beauty, body language. . . . .

I've done seriously better by waiting a bit: those who are bit desperate, a bit needy, more than a little curious tend to just wash themselves out. Which is fine by me: the keepers have enjoyed the process itself. And they *have* been real keepers. So, not gonna change my MO at this point. If after a month or two, sixty to a hundred emails and it's still feeling good to me, it's going to be good. Ain't been wrong yet. Nope, doesn't always, or even often, turn into a long term relationship, but it does make for great friendships.

 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 268
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Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/14/2010 9:01:41 AM
I am looking for an educated man so if I can at least see that he's literate and can articulate what he wants from me and what he has to offer to a woman. Perhaps a brief casual conversation about something he noticed he has in common with me. Something besides "Gee you're really pretty". lol I've noticed if they are engaging online, they will be engaging in person as well.
 Sayers987
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 269
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Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/14/2010 6:31:19 PM
I only read this last page so I don't know the other comments. The rush to meet? Online dating is a numbers game. So you probably have to meet quite a few people before you find the "right" one. Best to speed up the process, if you can.

Also, You never really know about the other person until you meet him/her. The emails and phone conversations with a person can be great, but if you don't have chemistry in person, it can be very disappointing.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 270
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/15/2010 4:53:42 PM
Amen CW35......you hit the nail on the head again!
 Coma White
Joined: 4/11/2004
Msg: 271
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/16/2010 12:04:21 AM
Yeah, exactly. What's the point of messaging back and forth if you never want to meet? Just to discuss recent politics? Most fo the time, the whole effort of mailing back and forth is an epic phail.
 indigo1357
Joined: 7/10/2009
Msg: 272
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/19/2010 7:14:50 PM
because when the email chat drags on for weeks usually you never meet at all. I have talked to some women for up to 6 months off and on and never get around to meeting them. Those ones dont get nearly as much attention as the women that email daily for maybe a week then meet on the weekend. The long term drag on forever chat girls are usually second pick backup just throw it out there "how about THIS wekend?" No? ok, back to cold messaging new people. Maybe next weekend ill get a date.
 Nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 273
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Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/20/2010 3:27:00 AM
I have tried it both ways and meeting someone asap is a better way of moving on if it is not a match instead of dragging it on and on by email then discovering this is not the person for you. Just make sure you meet in a public place and let a friend or family member know your whereabouts.
 Nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 274
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Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/20/2010 3:28:19 AM
I talked to one man for months and we planned on meeting but never did....it was a waste of time.
 aworldoflovingkindness
Joined: 4/30/2010
Msg: 275
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/20/2010 4:33:19 AM
Well, I'll give you some compelling reasons from this end of the keyboard, the principal one being time. I, personally, don't have the time for endless emails. A few are fine. My profile's long for just that reason: it has most of the information you'll need. Further, I'm 58YO and don't have decades left in my span. The time spent not meeting you is time spent not meeting others.

Time is NOT our friend.

Hope that helps explain this phenomonon!
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