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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/15/2005 3:31:16 PM | i can identify with you. i met a man that i thought was perfect for me, very handsome and a great personality. in fact our first date it took him 1 hour to say goodbye because he feared he would never see me again. i was so excited. he ask me out the same night for the next night. we went out and had another great time. i am a honest person and we were on the topic of honsty. i told him i had MS, a very mild case of it. he said not a problem. i never heard from him again. my friends say why did i tell him, well i thought i was to be honest, but it did not pay off for me. its been 3 weeks and i tried tocall him once and e-mailed him twice. no response...........why. i can't get him off my mind but i will i know it. whats the matter with people. i walk, dance and can do everything anybody else can. hmmmmmmmm and yes i did read the book he is just not that into you.
judy | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/15/2005 3:36:03 PM | | pastagirl I'm sorry that happened to you. But better to find out sooner before you got emotionally invested. I'm sure it stung a bit, but it could have hurt a lot worse. You just have to forget about it, move on and don't let it get you down. I wish you the best, stay honest it'll pay off in the long run!! | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/19/2005 3:56:54 PM | Sort of, had 3 great dates. Called me twice a day every day then after the 3rd nothing all weekend. Left 2 messages, figured he was busy no biggie. Come Monday nada left email that I had left him 2 phone messages, called again phone was turned off.. Sent scathing email with a polite dont worry about me bothering you again.
Then I get this long email explaining the *problem* on his part of course, nothing I did he assured me and telling me his 2 secretarys had chewed his ass out when they found out what he had did....
Seems they like me or at least my profile and had ask if he had talked to "RED" that day and he had spilled the beans on what he had did. Went out one more time but anything that might have been was dead on my part, didn't feel I could trust him anymore. | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/19/2005 4:13:59 PM | princesssara,
Take this from a guy who had done exactly what you're talking about. I've finally figured out why this is a continuing thread in my relationships..or,potential relationships. As soon as I apply "the charm," and make my best case, do everthing to make the lady really like me, I run like a scared rabbit once the bait is taken (sorry about the mixed metaphores). I know, self destructive, to any kind of meaningful relationship, but. The big "BUT" is that I'm scared to death. Its fun, the chase, but some of us have been hurt (who hasn't?), but some of us deal with it in a very juvenile way. We bury our heads in the sand, and don't face what it is that is giving us goosebumps. You could be the most beautiful, charming, adorable woman on the face of the earth, and that makes it even more difficult. Loose something like that? There is a psychotic problem in some dogs called the "first bite" snydrom (I think that's the name), and an abused dog will sometimes bite before you even get it a chance to get a nice pat on the head. For some of us "dogs" you are either going to leave, humiliate us, cheat on us, or die..but one way or the other, you'll be out of the picture, so why not end it before it begins. I'm no psychologist, princess, and you might be just that, a princess, and don't think he (we) run because you have some spinach stuck between your teeth. You are likely perfect for a whole lot of guys who have overcome this, and it isn't your fault if he ends up behind a wall for you. Just find one guy, and there are a whole lot out there, who has overcome this bagage. No use wasting your time one someone like me, until that someone like me has figured out that all great ladies don't bite and won't bite more than anyone else. Maybe I've seen this and have finally corrected my shortcomings, but what I do now is by acting that way, I've created a lot of hurt, and, by letting so many great ladies slip through my fingers, I've mostly hurt myself.
Bones | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/24/2005 1:57:56 AM | | I met a guy online and dated him for two years then he just sent me an email one day saying he didn't want to see me anymore. After that I didn't hear from him for 6 months and then all of a sudden I hear from him again and he tells me the reason he broke up was cause he felt we were getting to serious and he was falling in love. Then he asked me out so I accepted -- we went out that night had a blast. I didn't hear from him for two days so I called him (he had my drivers license) we talked for a while then he came over brought me my drivers license and we talked a while. He got home that night and wrote me another email saying he didn't think things were going to work out. I was like ok whatever. | |
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bbiker
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Joined: 9/19/2004
Msg: 33 | |
| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/24/2005 6:58:19 AM | Most definitely,,,,just happened recently, we had a great time earlier in the day, laughing, talking, enjoying eachothers company, she even called me back wanting to meet up with me later, and so we did, unfortunately my car broke down :(, but it happens, she had a great attitude about it,,,although the night was cut short, we talked on the phone a few times, laughing, etc., then the next day she asked me if i wanted to go bowling, i really wanted to, but couldnt, being that i had to get my car taken care of, and a prior commitment, i told her, and i assumed she understood, she called me later that night to tell me she had a great time, bowling, and also had a great time with me the day and night before.
i had gone to bed about 11:00 pm, she called i think about 12:00 am,,was asleep, but got the message, called her three time during the week, 3 times is my limit, no call back , nothing, i hate to be selfish for something may have happened, but 1 call would have sufficed, or something, couldnt figure that one out, i learned a long time ago, never to figure out a woman, no pun intended, hehe,,,i overanylize enough on my own, lol....... | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/24/2005 9:30:42 AM | I personally think that the reason people do this to others (make like a great date...want to see you again) is because they can!!!!! Internet dating is like a smorgasboard....and the players are gonna have a field day out there...Tasting, sampling, etc...I don`t think people are seriously looking to settle down...why would they with the variety out there.???? You could have a different person every night...if you wanted to....That`s just my opinion...People are not into committment...no matter how much they say they want it....Dating in the new millennium will be about one night stands, and playing the field....So now that I know the rules, I can play the game too.... | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/24/2005 10:16:08 AM | If you never hear from someone again... you *DID* get your answer.
(They aren't interested.)
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The things I don't understand (and I personally, *NEVER* do):
1. I'm interested (or NOT interested), but I'm afraid to say so.
2. I'm the male/female... therefore only I can call (or be called).
3 I like to PRETEND I'm interested, when I'm not.
4. I like to pretend I'm NOT interested, when I really am.
5. I like to just disappear forever.
I never understood all The Games. (Nor do I play them.) And I RUN from those
that do play. | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/24/2005 12:41:37 PM | Been there done that, sent the "thank you" email - some reply and you never hear from them again - some dont...
Are they too busy and inundated with others asking them out?
A thank you but no thank you is always appreciated isnt it?
I think many people are scared to be open and honest and tell it like it is? Or maybe they think, well, let's see if we can find someone better? If not, well, that person liked me?
"Mad about you" - you said it all perfectly there.
So many people just don't realize the "game" can hurt people who would like to be sincere?
Take it and ride with it and pass them on - they're really not worth considering if they're that shallow?
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/25/2005 7:39:24 PM | | when you have a good date, you have the butterflies and you wait that predetermined 24 hours for them to call... then they never do... Im bummed for a bit, but I bounce back. I know there is someone better out there.. it would be nice though to have a email just saying I had fun, but Im not interested. I admit, Ive done it | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/26/2005 1:25:31 AM | Yes I did.
I actually had a good date with someone! Yet it wasn't from this site, still it could've been.
I lost his phone number, so I sent him more messages on the site. Still nothing. I figured he wasn't interested. I tried again, which I normally would never do. I was just wondering what he found wrong with me.
I then found his livejournal, to which he left an odd comment for me. Next thing I know he's Iming me and tells me he was VERY interested, he just thought I wasn't attracted to him.
At this point I've made arrangements to move 'back home' so I won't really be able to see him for much longer. Huh.
I guess it pays to be persistent, sometimes. | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/26/2005 8:26:36 AM | People are not into committment...no matter how much they say they want it....Dating in the new millennium will be about one night stands, and playing the field.
Talitha001: This may ultimately turn out to be true, but how sad a world we will live in when we have forgotten the art of emotional intimacy (once upon a time, we used to call that making love). Physical intimacy alone is just having sex - and I can tell you that after 30 years of sexual activity - (man that sounds weird - I've been doing it longer than many on here have been breathing - lmfao) "just having sex" gets tired - real fast. The most mind-blowing, life-altering, toe-curling, orgasm-inducing connections I have had were with men I loved. Deeply. The energy is palpable between two people who dig each other so much, you just become one in the bedroom. (or other rooms) It is a passion that envelopes every aspect of your lives. I find it sad that so many will never know this level of intimacy - because you just can't jumping from bed, to bed, to bed.
Back in the day, you usually began a date knowing nothing more than that you were attracted to that person and over the course of dating, got to know them. All the nitty gritty details of peoples lives, their history, their desires - you could put in the context of a face-to-face conversation - even exposure to friends, family, life-styles, etc.
Internet dating has changed all that. Not only is there a plethora of choice - we seem to be in a sad game of eernie, meenie, minie, moe - but we are becoming callous in our treatment of how to process the personal information we are learning - judging that person out of context of their whole lives - easy to dismiss what you read in black and white - harder to do so when you have gotten to know that person. | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/26/2005 8:41:15 AM |
a, it can take allot to buck up and be a man, however I know loads of girls that do the same... I suppose it all comes down to the fact that they don't want to lead you on and don't know how to be brave and honest. Or maybe the just don't think it's worth it.. it was only one date. Who knows what goes through the mind. Give it one phone call and 3 days for the call back- nada.. then cary on. Then the ball is in thier court and your don't have to worry.
I had become best best friends with this guy for 5 years and finally when I was single, he was the friend who brushed the dust off my butt and made me laugh again. We started getting a little kissy-kissy.. then all of the sudden he just *poof!* dissapeared! No visit to my work, no text message, no phone call.. just *poof!*. A few months after he tried to make it up to me, but I don't want to be with someone who is just going to *poof!* on me after feeding me all this "I'm never going to let you go" buisness... Friends? yes.. Lovers? No way!
Great post...hard to figure where people are at when communication is either not established or breaks down...Im becoming a bigger and bigger fan of the one strike youre out rule and I dont care how many doors close.. | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/26/2005 8:53:52 AM | | viceguy2: have to agree with you - communication is where it's at - better to be honest even when it hurts. However, "one strike you're out rule" - wow - that level of tolerance is one of the scariest things I have ever read - you sure about that? In your heart of hearts is that how you want people treating you out there in the big, bad world? To be brushed aside without even a second thought for the smallest transgression? | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/26/2005 2:22:32 PM |
Internet dating has changed all that. Not only is there a plethora of choice - we seem to be in a sad game of eernie, meenie, minie, moe
Oh man HappyHippieChick - you hit the nail RIGHT on the head. I feel like a piece of chocolate going down the assembly line... Even if someone does find you attractive, or appealing - they are already looking ahead to see if something better is coming along...
I wonder how many people are going to end up alone - looking back at all of the good ones they let slip by because they just weren't paying attention... | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/26/2005 4:11:10 PM | | right on FUN2b----I think that is far to often the case --why would I see you again even though I had fun enjoyed your company,even found you attractive---but Ive got 50 more emails of men that want to see me, and one of them might be george clooney or brad pitt | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/26/2005 4:20:44 PM | | musicman: Well - glad I have at least experienced it - if I don't find it again, I won't feel altogether unfulfilled - better to have loved and lost kinda thing - Your last statement caught me - I had a phenomenal date three weeks ago - he arrived from the PlanetX on two wheels and we spent 7 hours biking around and just hanging - it was truly my greatest date in a very, very long time - we had fun without even trying - seemed to have a lot of common interests - saw each other again the next weekend - I fall asleep haunted by his sweet smile, his unbelievable kisses and the gentle sound of his voice - I wanted to truly know him better - yet no exciting new beginning. No communication of any kind. (sigh) Some connections I recognize as being rare - true companionship doesn't come along every day - but once in a very long while it does and its as good as it gets - yet I am either a victim of the rose-coloured glasses my hippiefolks implanted at birth - or I don't recognize a good actor when I see one - cause I'm still can't figure out why we are not on date 10 or 12 by now!!!!! How sad to think that this magnificent man might end up alone from "Couldn'tpickjustoneitis"..... | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/26/2005 4:48:56 PM |
In your heart of hearts is that how you want people treating you out there in the big, bad world? To be brushed aside without even a second thought for the smallest transgression?
Inexplicably not showing up for a date would be considered a strike and ur out..
Spilling some paint in the garage could be overlooked..
Of course u keep it in perspective but Im talking about blatant screw ups with no consideration for the other person in the realm of the "dating world".. | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/26/2005 5:01:30 PM | Why do people behave like this?What happened to common courtesy? Are people such chickens that they rather leave you in a state of limbo than have the guts to be truthful?
I would NEVER do that to someone. Granted sometimes it's hard to tell someone that "you want to be friends"or don't want to be involved with them. But da*mn! That has happened one too many times to me & I think some men just need to get some balls..seriously. NO ONE likes to be rejected but I rather be rejected than flat out ignored! What is that?
It's happened to me in a variety of different ways...either I will be talking to someone & emailing & thinking we are connecting then all the sudden he deletes my e-mails & I never hear from him again...
I have also been on a date(recently) and we had a good time ...not a major connection but I wrote him an e-mail thanking him for the nice company & never heard back from him again.
My top two worst are I talked to this guy for six hours & then for a few days here & there.He was telling me he cared out me & wanted to be there for me ..he would give me the sun,the moon ..the stars..We went out & have a good time & he told me he would call me when he got home...well he must live on the other side of the moon cuz 3 years later he STILL hasn't gotten home =P Whateva'
The absolute worst was a few months ago. I was stupid enuff to mess around a few times w/this guy who I thought cared about me...I thought we cared about each other.So we continue to screw around...we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Well one day he came over,I made him dinner,I had bought him these books he talked about & surprised him w/them.... So anyways we ended up messing around....he left & said talk to you soon
He was supposed to be my date to this wedding I was going to...well didn't hear from him,so I called him once..twice..three times.... so I figured ok...maybe he is having a problem w/his phone(I apparently wasn't ready to face the rejection)So in my final act I e-mailed him...he deleted it & that was that....
I just think we are adults & should act as such. People forgot or don't care that people have feelings & that their actions effect others!I think that is really pathetic & sad. | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/26/2005 5:28:37 PM |
vuceguy: okay, okay - I give - a date not showing up for a date would be a most definite strike one - lol - have to agree with you there - but glad to hear it is all a question of perspective......
Im just sticking to the topic..i know what ur saying.. | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 7/26/2005 5:56:39 PM | puppymama: I totally agree - kinda of a do unto others mentality - I would prefer hands down to be rejected with honesty then totally ignored wondering WTF?????? Was it something I said? Something I did? Something I didn't do? lol - The list goes on as to how we can torture ourselves, men and women alike, trying to figure why someone just drops off your dating radar!!! As adults you would think we could all play together nicely in the pond.......
I think the next time I show up at a POF date I will carry three fishies: one red, one green, one orange - if I like him I'll give him the green one - if not the red one - if maybe - the orange one - lol! There was a time went we went fishin' for keepsies - but conservationist that I am - we can't be doing the catch and release EVERY time we get something warm and wriggly on our hook! | |
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