draper
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Joined: 7/27/2005
Msg: 51 | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 8/2/2005 2:46:05 PM | | i find with the men i end up dating ,the same type thing ,,im not the type to go after a guy ,so i usually let him do the work in the beginning ,, im not saying i dont put in effort , i just let him ask me out if he wants to do something..i try not to put too much of my heart on the line in the beginning, so yea there's all this calling , emailing ,trying to make plans ,, then BOOM as soon as i actually decide to let my heart get into it ,,they're gone ,,lost interest or something ,,,,who knows ,,im getting sorta used to the routine ..lol as sad as it is | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 8/3/2005 6:37:24 PM | yeppers, have to say i know that feeling !!
I am not one for the whole internet dating thing, really new to it...... i can be pretty shy and pretty choosey about the men i let into my life ( in any sense ), but i just recently had this situation occur and not to sure how to deal with it, kinda a big turn off on the whole dating situation, seing as this guy surpassed every expectation i ever had about meeting someone on the net !
i just don't understand why people can't just be straight up and tell the other person if they were not what they expected or what they wanted in their life at this time, and even if that is the case why can't it just rest at a friendship level...... Seems to me like telling the other person what you thought of them would be the respectful thing to do... Now I can see it happening to the people that have fake pictures or make themselves up to be something they are not, but even then i think it is still common respect to inform the other person...
Just seems weird to me to spend a bunch of time getting to know someone and then finally making that step to meeting them, making everything seem like it was going fine and then to not make contact with them again !! I mean if you spend that much time getting to know someone, there must be some sort of attraction.... just seems weird to throw away a possible friendship over a lack of "attraction"
Guess i am just kinda old fashioned !! In my world respect for others is essential !!
Not trying to sound petty, just doesn't make sense to me !! | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 55 | |
| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 8/3/2005 7:22:56 PM | | Been there, done that. I'm not sure its a matter of dishonesty, I think some people are afraid of hurting the other person's feelings. I would prefer to be told "sorry, we're not a match", than to be avoided. By avoiding the other person, its a coward's way out. | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 8/3/2005 7:47:15 PM | What amount of time does it take to find out he/she is "just not that into you?" 2 minutes ? 2 hours? 2dates? 2months? or 2 years?
It is such an awful feeling when it happens, because no matter how hard we try, we go out on a date with some expectation, some hope that there IS that special connection. When someone says nice things like they had a great eve, and will call, and dont...it crushes us.
I think it is the deception that punches the most, the cowardness of someone saying these things, rather than "it was nice to meet you, but I wish you the best in your search" or any sign that it wasnt a match for that person. | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 8/3/2005 8:43:34 PM | | yes it has happen .. even after months of talking in genral. had a few dates then he dropped off the planet.... No nads to end it nicely or damn say something.. Men like that i tend to believe they are hidding something like a WIFE ! lol so be it there are plenty of fish in the sea... | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 8/19/2005 5:18:00 AM | yeah, I just had it happen to me again.... I was going with this guy for about a month, and dropped all other contacts cause he asked (stupid) I now regret it.... I though something was kinda weird cause he was stuck on his ex... always talked about her.... I told him "if you are interested in me great lets talk about that not your ex.... Im not interested in her...." I asked him if I caught him on the rebound he said oh no I get over them quick.... yeah right, I called him one day and he didnt return my call till I caught him.... he says " I went with my back with my ex" figured as much.... point of this comment, is all I ask is get balls and tell the truth... is it that much to ask.... honestly he kinda irritated me anyways... all is peachy now.... his loss! hehehehe | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 8/25/2005 3:46:22 PM | It happened to me, before we met she called everyday emailed me too, she spent a few days here, told me she loved me. I thought things were ok untill she called her friend in front of me to let her know she got layed, I felt used like in a contest or something. I guess I was cause ever since she left she has had nothing to do with me. I tryed to email her but shes to busy to answer, yeah Im mad very mad. | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 8/25/2005 7:00:00 PM | With the expection of one, I've heard from every man I've ever slept with quickly.. one even proposed marriage, so it's not a sure fire way to never see them again.
I think the best way to never hear from them again is mentioning wanting a family. I can't back this up, though, having never tried it. | |
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| ever thought he was right for you and then....
Posted: 8/25/2005 7:55:25 PM | well i travelled all the way on a 24 hrs flight to see this guy in boston.. we got to know each other online... he was very sure that he was prepared to meet up with me.. we had been talking for only 3 weeks when we met up...
so well there i was in a foreign land.. in his house.. cos he had insisted that i stay at his place.. and he was not able to take time off from work to accompany me during my stay over there and he only took a day off near the end of my trip where we spent some quality time up in maine...
he brought up the subject of me not giving him enough space... he was staying in a very small rented place with no bedrooms..and to him.. he had to come back to work everyday and face me...i guess he wasnt really up to having another person in the same breathing space as him i think...
anyway.. 2 weeks passed quickly and when i came back and tried to contact him he was avoiding me at first.. then he sent some email saying that i was trying to use him as a passport to get into the US..i was really pissed with him..and sent an email back and told him that he was totally wrong and i had probably barked up the wrong tree....
he didnt reply... and i called him a few days back and talked awhile and he said that if i were ever to go to US i could count on him....
but he didnt call back and didnt reply to the latest email either...perhaps he isnt that into me..
any opinions? | |
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| ever thought he was right for you and then....
Posted: 8/25/2005 8:08:13 PM | | Funny I started a thread called recycling contacts which is pretty much the same topic. Got an email today from someone here that just had the same thing. Well, they didn't meet but he strung her out forever and wouldn't meet. So I'll tell you all what i told her, I'm so sorry I know it hurts but someday you'll realize that you're better off without them. Too bad you wasted some time and maybe even money, but just be glad you didn't waste more. There must be a black hole somewhere because the internet dating scene seems to have more disappearing acts than I've ever encountered before. Yeah that's it they got sucked into a black hole!!! hahaha Really I'm truly sorry this happens but count me in the club it's happened to me too many times to bother remembering. | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 8/25/2005 8:52:14 PM | | kimber Well he was either kidnapped by aliens (yeah right) or got sucked into the black hole. I've had many POOFS, and stopped just short of calling hospitals police stations and checking the morgues. There is an internet dating black hole that sucks it's hapless victims. So I guess space exploration is the next alternative. I'll contact NASA tomorrow and get back to you!!! hahaha | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 8/25/2005 9:19:51 PM | thanx for the wisdom !.....and not just yet! and i'm certianly not hoping so.......hopfully my last post gets posted on our date.......but she's awsome!.........and your so right.....this person I"VE met .......gives so much to other's it....puts a Basketball in me throat!!I certianly and most honestly was nervous tonight! wow!
THANX Sha....!!! | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 8/25/2005 9:29:52 PM | Hi everyone! whom is reading this, i like to share a story of my thursday with ya'll if ya'd like.............um....I don't follow proper puncuation so please try your best.........so........i started my day off ......with going to bed around 3:30 in the morning thursday after listening to George Noorey on coast to coast am. Astrology!!!.....any way.....so i'm up at like 6:30am, get up , water.....cig......getting ready to read my daily dose of what's going on out there......um.......cnn.com.......cbc.ca....worldnews.com.........infowars.com.......aljezeera.english.com........and fark.com....and so on...........and e-mails ...Watched Mars for a bit dancing around under the MOON last night too!!!!...went for a shower and so on..........well TODAY.......TODAY was the day that i was going to finally meet ,in person, this absolutly wonderful and just awsome person!! REALLY!! I dig her.......or fancy or how ever you would put it....and the ironically funny thing about this is she ........yes........she.......got ahold of me.......so.......do some breakfast and ......bit of running around....soles for my golf shoes........got a new golf shirt so on......gas........washed off the car...really hard things!!:) went and shot two buckets of balls out at the driving range out wellinton road there .......awsome place in the south out of town........and then went and played 9 holes at echo...(lovely!!).....I was 2 over the front 9......i was figuring i wanted to do 18 but it was 5:30 and well.........my date with shay.........was iminent........so i raced home washed the clothes i was going to wear and thought of some possibilities how it would go and so on ...........and so i got home from echo valley round like 6:20 and she was calling around 7- 7:30pm.....so i knew i had time to wash up and be presentable to someone i hold in high regards!! So the phone call......she phone's and it's the first time from her cell that she calls , she sounds sorta diff........more up front in your face than reserved and quiet.......PHONE!!.......anyway not to bore the hell out of you all here........we met at north london golf........mini putt........stuff...........was really fun.............never done that there.........OH....we met around like 8ish..........and so it was nerve racking so much cause i just was sorta worried about judgment , just because if you knew her and what she does you would understand ...........i thought she was absolutly beautiful..........and that was when i was going to get my putter from my car ,waiting for her arrival, with her not knowing ,we had just passed each other!!........"she was told i'd be wearing a green golf shirt, wore a black t" and anyway after that one...........um mini putted then decided both to go have a drink and play some pool..............well that went alright......but..........i would like to talk with her and enjoy time with her not evesdroppers!!!........and idiots out on the town with there buddy..........scoping the scene and singing songs of a snake..anyway..............i just wanted to really say that..........this does work.........this whole thing works .......wether or not we ever hang out again or wether or not this leads to a relationship and whatever ...........i have met such an awsome respectable loving caring compassionate person that i would want anyone to meet.........we had a time..let's say.......thanx to this site i met her..........really!!!Thank you so much.........people just gotta be themselves.........not sure how it'll all play out but even if Sha.... wanted to just be friends it'd be just awsome......and if i don't feel for a relationship or you know .......i hope we can still.....keep in touch every so often ...........i found a good friend so far and a special one at that.........thanx shay......talk to ya soon............................um by the way..........i haven't drank any alcohol in a month so feel 'n it good right now.........thanx for showing the interest in me Shay......miss ya already!!!!!!!!!!!!  | |
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| Ever have a good date....To never hear from them again....?
Posted: 8/26/2005 3:35:36 AM | | Looking at previous messages on this thread I think it's obvious that women are just as guilty of this as men. Also, I don't think people should complain about someone 'not having the balls' to tell the truth about their perception of the date/relationship. If I don't want to see a woman again because I think she's ignorant, say, I don't think it would be polite for me to tell her so--rather I would claim to be busy, or whatever, until she gets the hint that I'm not interested. I think that's the kind thing to do. Certainly I appreciate a lack of brutal honesty in women who choose not to date me. Also, after a lot of rejections, I often will wait for a woman to email me, or give me some sort of encouraging sign, before I start pestering her for a second date. I don't expect sex early in a relationship, but if a woman thinks it's smart or ladylike to be all coy and 'hard to get' then to hell with her. Life is too short, and I'm moving on. | |
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