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 Mizphitz
Joined: 9/12/2009
Msg: 51
Attraction - is this how it works ?Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
i find the giggle factor works best for me..........if a bloke can make me laugh he's half way home already :)
 GeminiGuy1981
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 52
Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 1/24/2010 4:00:55 AM
Attractive people find it easier to find a date for the fact it's the first feature of someone you see before their personality. We assume that because someone is attractive it means someone is intelligent and better off financially and also more popular. But what we must all remember, is that attractive people are given more positive attention from a young age so they have better characteristics and more confidence most of us find desirable as a result, and ugly people tend to have non, although I have met ugly people with lots of confidence, I see it as a rebellion and good for them as I do the same being in the ugly category .

FROM WIKIPEDIA:

Physical attractiveness can have various effects. A survey conducted by London Guildhall University of 11,000 people showed that those who subjectively describe themselves as physically attractive earn more income than others who would describe themselves as less attractive. People who described themselves as less attractive earned, on average, 13% less than those who described themselves as more attractive, while the penalty for being overweight was around 5%. It is important to note that other factors such as self-confidence may explain or influence these findings as they are based on self-reported attractiveness as opposed to any sort of objective criteria; however, as one's self-confidence and self-esteem are largely learned from how one is regarded by his/her peers while maturing, even these considerations would suggest a significant role for physical appearance.

Many have asserted that certain advantages tend to come to those who are perceived as being more attractive, including the ability to get better jobs and promotions; receiving better treatment from authorities and the legal system; having more choices in romantic partners and, therefore, more power in relationships; and marrying into families with more money. Both men and women use physical attractiveness as a measure of how 'good' another person is.

Some researchers conclude that little difference exists between men and women in terms of sexual behavior. Symmetrical men and women have a tendency to begin to have sexual intercourse at an earlier age, to have more sexual partners, to engage in a wider variety of sexual activities, and to have more one-night stands. They are also prone to infidelity and are more likely to have open relationships.
Symmetrical men and women are also best suited for their environment and have the most reproductive success. Therefore, their physical characteristics are most likely to be inherited by future generations.

There you have it people, we are all really that shallow, if you have money and are good looking then you practically are above the law, get to shag who you want and have about the same power as the United States President. If you're not, then it's tough, join the rest of us and leave the privileged Elite to it Now where is my little violin haha
 GeminiGuy1981
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 53
Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 1/24/2010 4:27:30 AM
For all us uglies though I do have something positive for us. We are superior to beautiful people as our ugliness lasts a lifetime
 electric-gypsy
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 54
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 1/25/2010 4:26:11 PM
I agree with the other posters... aesthetics are subjective. Everyone, at some point, has been considered attractive or unattractive to someone else. I'm probably the only person in the world who thinks Angelina Jolie and George Clooney are a pair of munters. Gimme a lanky, long-haired, tattooed, grungey guitar god any day of the week. There's no accounting for taste.
 andyh87
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 55
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 1/25/2010 4:34:14 PM
some people have to have the nicest phone some the fastest car others a beautiful partner i guess its each to there own but personally i think imperfection can lead to perfection obviously there has to be some level of physical attraction but i have come to notice those that seem beautiful are usually the ugliest inside
 Just Usual
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 56
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 1/25/2010 5:57:36 PM
youre just ugly and old

Im SHORT, ugly and old, and my shortedness means youre 1000 x more attractive to ladies than me, youre one lucky dude.
 Strider886
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 57
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 1/26/2010 6:02:11 AM


"Biggest load of tosh, 'women are attracted to a mans personality first"

nope i disagree totally! when i was looking on here before i got disgruntled and stopped i would talk to ladies and they would realy like me, then once they seen a pic of me the go quiet or say im not their type.

i also spoken especially to those who said the same or other words similar to "im open minded, looks are not everything" etc, so you might be the odd few of us who really dont look for looks first but 98% of the rest do...

and to note 95% of stastics are made up ;)


I disagree, with your disagree......

There's a ton of pressure on guys now to be gym rats with short hair and fake tan.
I'd say that guys feel more pressure to be a certain way than women do these days.

And if personality comes first then why have I gone from 5-10 messages a month to just 2 in 3 months, since quitting the gym due to injury and then growing long hair?????
My personality has not changed at all!!!!!

So to say that personality matter first is a load of rubbish!
 Shreksta
Joined: 8/23/2009
Msg: 58
Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 1/26/2010 9:44:47 AM
I find that having the "Right tools for the job" works!

A Wooden Club and some rope!

If they want to eat then they are attracted to me!
 looking_for_love_1982
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 59
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/11/2010 2:06:48 AM

And if personality comes first then why have I gone from 5-10 messages a month to just 2 in 3 months, since quitting the gym due to injury and then growing long hair?????
My personality has not changed at all!!!!!

So to say that personality matter first is a load of rubbish!


my point exactly! you didnt disagree to my disagree

the ladies looking for their dream man, and as i have put on my profile, they just lying to theirselves, what they looking for is allready taken, homosexual or they been around the block a few times, now thats ok if men and women was looking for that sort of thing.

its just hard to get someone with looks and personality, sometimes the best looking are seen to be arrogant, big headded or over confidant, this is purely because the time they put in to looking better than the people they think look beutiful.
 Monkeyjim
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 60
Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/11/2010 2:20:29 AM

There's a ton of pressure on guys now to be gym rats with short hair and fake tan.
I'd say that guys feel more pressure to be a certain way than women do these days.


Dude...you need to get out more! if thats your belief that, that is what women (usually the ones with 5 layers of Umpa Loompa orange foundation) want then you're only going to find yourself a superficial woman who wants you for their looks.

I have been to a Gym once, but then I am blessed with having a naturally athletic and slim body, I don't feel any preasure at all to make myself look like someone I am not.

It is of my Opinion that diffreent women like different things, the majority want you to be confident, assertive, funny, caring, out going, open minded and can hold a decent job down.
 gemini_lady_uk
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 61
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/11/2010 2:48:46 AM
I agree with the posters who say what is attractive to one person is unattractive to another.

The most attractive guy I have ever gone out with was ideally too short and had several teeth missing but he had the sexiest blue eyes that crinkled at the corners when he smiled and a georgeous bum and a wonderful caring personality and a similar intellect to me.

Some people would say he was ugly, but not to me he wasn't. For me he just had the wow factor.

Trouble with finding someone on the internet is that where looks are concerned it can be deceiving. Picuture taken badly, can't see the sparkle in peoples eyes, we only get to see half the picture so I guess there is more tendancy to focus on basics ie the stereotypical image of what's meant to be good looking.

To be objective about looks, you need to see the whole picture not the snapshot
 Strider886
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 62
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/11/2010 2:58:44 AM
I wasn't saying that's what all women want, although a large number of them "prefer" that (with a lot of help from TV and the Media).

But the pressure is still there, there's been a massive increase in steroid abuse over the past 10 years, coinciding with the surge of guys joining gyms around the country.

I watched a guy have a massive heart attack in the gym, he was around my age now. There nothing anyone could do, his internal organs were f**cked from years of steroid abuse.
Why do that to yourself?

IF it really was what all women wanted, then i'd rather stay single.... I'd keep my DNA out of the already diluted gene pool and let the human race wipe itself out.... One way or another. We are already the most self destructive species on the planet.

So essentially I say, f**k what other people want or expect... Be yourself and be happy.
 Jaybee2010
Joined: 1/25/2010
Msg: 63
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/11/2010 4:51:19 AM
There are different levels and types of attraction.

Some are purely physical, some intellectual, some emotional.

You can be attracted to a person in one of those ways, but not another. Doesn't make you a bad person; it's just how it goes. If it's only physical you probably have sex, if it's intellectual or emotional only you become friends and that's all.

For a romantic relationship to work you almost certainly need all three.

But attractions can change over time.


And let's not take the wallet/bank balance out of the equation.

How many super models/WAGS, etc. are with the most unattractive of men? And maybe some of them do have amazing personalities................. but I'm sure if a lot of these men weren't rich and famous and had their profile on POF they wouldn't get a look in.

Somebody mentioned Peter Stringfellow, I will add to that Ronnie Wood, Mick Jagger, Peter Crouch (and LOTS of other famous football players), Flavio Briatore, etc.

I won't put comedians like Marty Feldman or Rowan Atkinson because they probably have great personalities and at least would make you laugh!

Of course this is just my personal opinion and other women on here may think these men are gorgeous....... as keeps being said on here "Beauty REALLY is in the eye of the beholder" it would be a sad old world if we were all attracted to the same type.......
 013552
Joined: 3/14/2009
Msg: 64
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/11/2010 8:21:39 AM
depends what your defintion of ugly really is, looks fade its personality that counts,,

old adage still applies one mans much is another mans brass...

i know of people classed as beautiful, but if i was washed up on desert island with only them for company i would take up cannibalism, and then go look for tree stump to chat with
 Personality Girl
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 65
Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/12/2010 3:30:41 AM
this is only my opinion ans i am sure its the same for the guys but

too many men are interested only in who makes good eye candy without looking at themselves in the mirror

the way i see it and its not a bad thing either is that most men dont worry to much about how they appear us women do i may well look at some profiles but know that they wouldnt be interested on me yeah i know i shouldnt think that way but it happens

hae been out with female friend and been ignored as she was slim

what counts in my book is someone that can make me smile and laugh and is either the same height or taller yes i have preferances as well
 flyflyfly999
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 66
Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/12/2010 3:40:40 AM
Women tend to be attracted to alpha males...these days that means people that are successful in someway to them...eg physical, business, politics, sport. Its very rare for a woman to go out with a man less successful than her

Men tend to be attracted to looks and symmetry. Other achievements are not usually a requirement.
 Carm0n
Joined: 11/21/2009
Msg: 67
Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/12/2010 3:43:28 AM
thankfully we all view the opposite sex differently, I prefer a sense of humor, andI think a good personality brings out the looks.
 willstewart
Joined: 12/18/2009
Msg: 68
Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/12/2010 4:10:21 AM
As far as I can see, attraction on sites such as this can only work via a photo.
Personally, I've got more chance of even the slightest acknowledgement at 4am in Tesco when there are 3 people in the store than here with 1000s (apparently) of women.

I personally don't see how you can reveal your personality in a few words. I can realistcally type whatever I want into my profile and structure it in a such a way so that I can aim it at a specific woman - doesn't mean I'm anything like what I've written.

Loads of women say they want someone to make them laugh but how are you supposed to go about that? Anything slightly crude and you're ignored. Anything that doesn't suit their definition of funny and you're ignorted and so on.
Had one recently who had a love of a certain comedy show. Being rather fond of it too, quoted a few lines in amongst the introductory message and within a few minutes, "read deleted" appeared. Obviously no sense of humour there was there!?

It's all about the photo. If they don't like the look of you, or in some case haven't mentioned a £1000,000 salary, forget it.

There's one girl at work with me who is in the top 5 looks wise. She actually likes me and I can make her laugh easily - far easier face to face to show what you're like rather than online. If she was here, I'd be lucky if she would even glance at my profile before deleting my friendly message.
 Jaybee2010
Joined: 1/25/2010
Msg: 69
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/12/2010 4:30:34 AM

I personally don't see how you can reveal your personality in a few words. I can realistcally type whatever I want into my profile and structure it in a such a way so that I can aim it at a specific woman - doesn't mean I'm anything like what I've written.


What about that well known dating site being advertised on the TV at the moment that matches you with somebody based on their Compatibility Matching System® (copied and pasted from the site).

Do you think this would be a better way to connect with somebody rather than a site like this where as the previous poster said "it's all about the photo."
 Carm0n
Joined: 11/21/2009
Msg: 70
Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/12/2010 4:51:06 AM
(It's all about the photo. If they don't like the look of you, or in some case haven't mentioned a £1000,000 salary, forget it.)

Its not about the photo, its about the personality, and if a man messaged me who was a women hater, I would not reply.

I have friends on here with no pictures that I chat to on a regular basis. We are not all so shallow!

Most men don't put the career on the profile so we couldn't figure out if they are earning x' amount of money

 Urban Flower
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 71
Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/12/2010 6:42:32 AM
Attraction is one of those things hard to define.I remember some years ago when i dated a much younger guy.I,d seen his pic before we met and he was bloody gorgeous!When i met him though, i spent the whole time thinking'i,m not sure,i,m really not sure here',but the more we chatted and laughed the more i started to change my perception of him.It had nothing to do with the way he looked but the way he made me laugh and the way he treated me and the fact that he wanted to get to know me the person and liked me for me.It is so easy to dismiss people based on the way they look without seeing what may shine from within.Even if it becomes a friendship rather than a romance,hell,you have made a new friend and you can never have too many of those.
 Sara with no H
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 72
Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/12/2010 10:27:52 AM

Can normally tell within 5 minutes of a man opening his mouth if I have a possible attraction to him. Within half an hour I know for sure.
To me attractiveness is something I can't always see or touch. Its the invisible aura around them.


I fully agree with the above :)

There is just *something* that works or doesn't for me
 Comise
Joined: 1/29/2010
Msg: 73
Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/12/2010 11:54:59 AM
“I am driven (sic) successful” And who by..? You..?...give me strength, and since when did people start announcing they are celibate? Is it sympathy or admiration you seek..?
“So to be truly happy I would need a bankrupt chain-smoking drug addicted alcoholic with raging syphilis”
No ....what you need is an incurable romantic...someone with Aids and Syphilis....
One man’s meat (that will go down well with her nibs) is another man’s poison, don’t know who said it last; beauty may be skin deep ugliness goes straight to the bone...eh
Beauty of course is semi-subjective; the thinking man’s T.C.T...Top Class Tottie!! say...geezuz I’m struggling with someone contemporary, Kristy Young, and in their heyday Sheena MacDonald, Angela Rippon.....uhmmm perhaps less now Harriet Harman, can't remember that Union boss Brenda..something or other....above all things....just cannot thole anyone who is dim, even if she is as stunning as Cleopatra was reputed to be, mind you I feel the same way men who are loudmouthed and dim. For me intelligence is a prerequisite, rather hack my wedding tackle off with a blunt hacksaw than be stuck with a brainless bimbo...actually I can tell long before they open their mouth...whether....anyway, can someone mail me instructions on using the Quote facility utilised here ? I’m sure there is a link if I could find it.
 Sara with no H
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 74
Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/12/2010 12:36:49 PM
ohhhh Comise what a charming gent you are ~ what is your problem?

why the (sic) after driven?

that is the correct word and context

driven
adjective
2. being under compulsion, as to succeed or excel: a driven young man who was fiercely competitive.

oh and, keeping in the style of your kind of posting, if you're so intelligent surely you can work out how to do quotes. not exactly rocket science ....... the instructions are on the posting page!
 rosso27
Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 75
Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/12/2010 1:04:07 PM
In reality attractiveness is an amalgam of many attributes – I know both men and women who met ‘in the real world’ partners to whom they were not hugely physically attracted at first – however over time as they were in each other’s company, often as part as a group of friends or in a work environment, they came to appreciate other facets of their personality and after a while they saw their partner as the most beautiful/handsome person in their life......

However online this process cannot happen and the vast majority make instant choices based on physical appearance alone...OK the words are there on the profile too but being honest how many here have thought ‘Not keen at all on the photo but the write up is great - I’ll get in touch.........’

There may be a niche of POF users who will value perceived personality from the profile over an attractive photo but I’d have to say that I reckon that niche is so small as to make the membership of the ‘John Prescott is the Greatest Political Thinker of the 21st Century Society’ seem positively gargantuan......
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