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| | HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??Page 24 of 30 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30) |
After a large number of partners, does 'one more' mean anything? I mean seriously.... It's just one more number... It's not even a notch on a bed post or the proverbial stick... It gets to the point that having sex is about as meaningful as going for a beer...
No wonder some men get ED... They've simply lost all interest... It's just one more person... They've become jaded...
So tell us mchurch......is that what your girlfriend is to you......"just one more person"?
You've had no issue telling us you were quite the player and have had your fair share of partners...have you lost interest in sex? are you speaking from experience and this is what happened to you?
I mean seriously........how else would you know?! | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/4/2011 11:34:59 AM |
After a large number of partners, does 'one more' mean anything? I mean seriously.... It's just one more number... It's not even a notch on a bed post or the proverbial stick... It gets to the point that having sex is about as meaningful as going for a beer...
No wonder some men get ED... They've simply lost all interest... It's just one more person... They've become jaded... So tell us mchurch......is that what your girlfriend is to you......"just one more person"? You've had no issue telling us you were quite the player and have had your fair share of partners...have you lost interest in sex? are you speaking from experience and this is what happened to you? I mean seriously........how else would you know?!
My question as well. How would one know, unless they know???
No wonder some men get ED... They've simply lost all interest... It's just one more person... They've become jaded...
 ED isn't something you manifest due to boredom in the bedroom. It's a medical condition. Boredom in the bedroom is a whole different thing, whether or not that results in failure-to-launch is select to the individual and his health. If one has ED at home, he's not going to be rising to the occasion with those he's not legally attached to, either. Well, without little blue pills, that is. JMO  | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/4/2011 12:46:35 PM |
So tell us mchurch......is that what your girlfriend is to you......"just one more person"?
You've had no issue telling us you were quite the player and have had your fair share of partners...have you lost interest in sex? are you speaking from experience and this is what happened to you?
I mean seriously........how else would you know?!
Quite honestly I did at one time...
(Bet you weren't expecting me to admit it....)
At one time, I had gotten so that I could care less if I picked up one more girl... I enjoyed the chase more than the catch... But at a certain point I realised that I just lost interest in the girl if she ended up in bed too soon... No challenge, no fun... Too easy can really be a dreadful turnoff unless that's all you want out of someone...
Then I got to the point that once the girl was willing to come back to my place, I lost interest... I knew it was going to happen, so it didn't really thrill me anymore... I left a few in bars who probably wondered what happened.... LOL...
Then basically, the sex was simply just a physical thing... Yeah, ok, felt like getting laid, and I'd do so.... Started to realise that the longer I went between women the more interest I had again... (Kind of like McDonalds... Eat a Big Mac everyday and they really are bland.... go a couple of years without and try one, and they actually taste pretty good... (as long as you only have one...))
As for my girlfriend being 'just one more person', No...
I'd been in a couple of long term relationships before her so it wasn't the same thing anymore...
I look at the sex a lot more differently now... Kind of a fresh start I suppose.... | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/4/2011 12:54:09 PM |
You have to remember, whatever it seems like to you, it is just conjecture on your part. I'm talking from direct experience. A bout in the ring is maybe just another day at the office in your mind but even for a veteran professional, and I have known many, the fear never goes away.
I admit it's just conjecture... never having been there myself... I've known a few guys who were into that... including a buddy who actually, tried to make a career out of it... He didn't do very well at it unfortunately, he took a bad hit to the head in an early fight and ended up with a concussion that led to minor seizures... And a quick end to that career... | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/4/2011 1:23:26 PM | This thread has gone totally off topic.... Now it's about fighting?
I DEFINITELY have been missing some posts...
I don't even know what fighting has to do with confidence even....I've lost more fights than I won yet won't be intimidated by anyone....Of course I'm involved with fights and intimidation on a weekly basis. So I'm a bit numb to all that childish nonsense.
As for numbers on either men or women...why does it really matter?
If an individual doesn't want a partner with a high number (Whatever high means to them.) then it is a topic they should definitely bring up in the getting to know you stage.
If you're a person to whom it doesn't matter then you don't need to ask/know.
If you're someone who is offended at the question and a potential mate ASKS this question....well, you're probably just not going to be compatible, That's all. | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/4/2011 2:00:21 PM | You are also off topic in your reply. I'm also about 50/50 street/ring. But being in the ring is not childish nonsense. I had friends whose careers petered out that worked in bars: "My job is knocking out drunks." It was something sad for them. Because boxing is violence but violence is not boxing. You don't see what putting gloves on has to do with confidence? Okay. You are clearly proud of what you do and who you are. Nobody else? I seen you signifying all over these forums.
Now. How did this thread stray off course? If there is to be supposition about the significance of the number of a woman's lifetime sexual partners then obviously someone will and did bring up; what about a man's numbers? Because that is a double standard. From there the subject becomes why are some (most) men proud of their notches and why women are supposed to be ashamed.
This is not rocket science. Now you got guys disingenuously claiming that they are not proud of their count (maybe they have a low count so they take the high road, or maybe they really are indifferent, or they pretend to be indifferent).
Regardless, now you got a guy like me using sarcasm to make a point and then you got guys who either don't get it or choose not to in order to make their own presentation, whatever the hell it is.
Why does it matter? It really doesn't matter to me, notwithstanding that I pushed some buttons with my sarcasm. But body count is the topic of discussion. For you the numbers don't matter, for others they do. Otherwise the thread could be locked as soon as you weighed in.
Get it yet? Why the thread seems off course? It really isn't though. The real issue is one man's sexual insecurity around a specific woman and conversely other posters insecurities and experiences. Maybe the thread will get cleaned up or not. | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/6/2011 11:04:19 AM | Right on Kayla!
and would someone (not just anyone) but someone with tested stats on this topic give me a figure..? You can round it up or down as you like..but just a ballpark would be nice..
Oh waittaminute, those stat people never get any so their gonna be biased and say anything over 1 is gonna be too many, nevermind...what is it they would say? Quantity beats out quality? Do I have that down correctly? | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/6/2011 12:03:53 PM | In today's world (I'm not implying there's something wrong with today's world) anybody who's shocked that his girlfriend in her 20s has had 10 or more sexual partners is a bit not-ready for sex..
Even if she'd had 50 (you can date a lot and end up sleeping with a lot of people).
The numbers don't necessarily mean much. | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/6/2011 10:35:39 PM | 1) -Imho the OP is describing a normal healthy woman.
_______________________________________________________
2)
Men are afraid. What are they afraid of? That they won't measure up. That they won't prove as men. That's from ancient days when we hunted in packs. That's the burden of being a man that women don't have. We got to prove it. Women have the pain and burden of child birth.
I earned it. I can be gentle. I proved myself. I don't have to be "on" all the time. I'm not "checking" myself all the time. It's liberating.
bodypro8ra-excellent natural direct writing style. You brought up very good points. | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/7/2011 3:56:45 PM |
(verygreeneyez) ED isn't something you manifest due to boredom in the bedroom. It's a medical condition.
Wrong. ED can have a variety 0f causes. Sometimes it's purely physical; sometimes it's purely psycholgical; and, sometimes, it's varying degrees of both. Or, even other factors I neglected to mention...
Sheesh @ all these "It's all one thing, and NOTHING ELSE!!!" people...
Arlo...  | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/7/2011 5:01:54 PM | ^^^Sheesh, and all of you that don't research. Of course it's medical. I didn't list causes, I listed effect. Makes no difference WHAT causes it ~ it's medical in nature. Let me help with this for you:
Erectile dysfunction (impotence) is the inability to get and keep an erection firm enough for sex. Having erection trouble from time to time isn't necessarily a cause for concern. But if erectile dysfunction is an ongoing problem, it may cause stress, cause relationship problems or affect your self-confidence.
Even though it may seem awkward to talk with your doctor about erectile dysfunction, go in for an evaluation. Problems getting or keeping an erection can be a sign of a health condition that needs treatment, such as heart disease or poorly controlled diabetes. Treating an underlying problem may be enough to reverse your erectile dysfunction.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/erectile-dysfunction/DS00162
It's much more likely to be caused by physical ailments than emotional or psychology, but those things can cause or worsen ED. It's still considered a medical problem, regardless of what the cause is:
Physical causes of erectile dysfunction
In most cases, erectile dysfunction is caused by something physical. Common causes include:
* Heart disease
* Clogged blood vessels (atherosclerosis)
* High blood pressure
* Diabetes
* Obesity
* Metabolic syndrome, a condition involving increased blood pressure, high insulin levels, body fat around the waist and high cholesterol
* Parkinson's disease
* Multiple sclerosis
* Low testosterone
* Peyronie's disease, development of scar tissue inside the penis
* Certain prescription medications
* Tobacco use
* Alcoholism and other forms of substance abuse
* Treatments for prostate cancer or enlarged prostate
* Surgeries or injuries that affect the pelvic area or spinal cord
Psychological causes of erectile dysfunction
The brain plays a key role in triggering the series of physical events that cause an erection, starting with feelings of sexual excitement. A number of things can interfere with sexual feelings and cause or worsen erectile dysfunction. These include:
* Depression, anxiety or other mental health conditions
* Stress
* Fatigue
* Relationship problems due to stress, poor communication or other concerns
Risk factors Symptoms
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/erectile-dysfunction/DS00162/DSECTION=causes
I think the Mayo Clinic likely has their facts correct. JMO | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/8/2011 3:59:45 PM | | The numbers do have meaning. They are an indicator of risk: a metric of exposure to STIs. Perhaps the issue isn't with someone who is shocked at a high number, but the fact that today's world has a cavalier attitude towards sex. Those defending high numbers can only do so with the superficial argument that it's "no one's business," while those with low numbers seem more willing to disclose their number. What constitutes high or low is anyone's guess, though I think each person has their own definition that is largely shaped by society. | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/8/2011 4:31:56 PM |
We males are built for infinity in a lot of things.... If females think this is unfair, tough shit! Life is not about fair or unfair. That is just our nature....Our appendix....is still around despite serving next to no function..
Forgive my editting but, removing the extraneous words from that paragraph...are you actually trying to say that men are the only gender in 2011 with an appendix? And that that somehow makes men "built for infinity"? Either that was a tremendously poor example or...well, I will await further clarification.
Either way, I agree with the poster above you. The more exposure, the more risk for STDs, at least IMO. (I'm speaking more of very high numbers, and also regarding both genders). I don't think I'd want a man who had had previous partners in the hundreds either.
This OP was speaking of...what was it, 9? 10? 11? (I lost count since the thread is so long, lol). That wouldn't seem to be an inordinately high number, but I'd also think it might be relative in context in certain cases. 11 partners over 10 years isn't that high, IMO...but if six of those partners were from play-time a week ago? That might change my desire to date said person. That's JMO though.
It is psychologically, genetically, biologically, socioeconomically, financially, reproductively and personally COSTLY in having anything to do with a female like that in the long-term.
Yes, and you also stated that men were "built for infinity" in the sex department. Personally, I could care less if you might have slept with thousands of women, since I wouldn't be dating you. But, only a fool wouldn't realize that the more women you sleep with, the higher your risks of catching an STD, not to mention impregnating some of them. Which again is up to you...but it's ludicrous to brag about men being "built for that" unless you have the money to pony up for child support, or for STD treatment.
But then again, this may be moot, since this is in reply to thinking men were "one-up" for still having their appendixes in this day and age. | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/8/2011 4:34:10 PM | Which part do you disagree with? I am not looking to get into judging people or determining the level that is considered too many partners or make it a battle of sexes. I simply take exception to the idea that one's number "is no one's business" since the moment you engage in potentially risky behavior that endangers the health of another person is the moment that one's number becomes at least one other person's business. I know the common rebuttal to that is as long as someone can prove they are clean then why does it matter, and to that one has to look no further than the '80s when I'm sure everyone was "clean" until that whole HIV and AIDS thing was discovered. The fact of the matter is, no one knows how much stuff is out there with regard to STIs as the research continues to reveal new things all the time.
Actually, I beg to differ...at least when it comes to females.
We males are built for infinity in a lot of things (attraction, status, mates, etc). If females think this is unfair, tough shit! Life is not about fair or unfair. That is just our nature. It has been that way since 65 million years ago (when our family, primates, came to be), it is still the same way now and it sure as hell ain't going to change in the next 40-50 million years. Our appendix, an organ used by our primatial ancestors to house bacteria strong enough to break down highly-carbonated plants (when plants were our family's primary source of nutrients) is still around despite serving next to no function (largely, because of the way our stomachs have evolved due to changing our diet to meat also).
With women, there is a measuring stick. It doesn't take a lot of ingenuity to figure it out: we homonoids gestate anywhere from 8-10 months. Add six to eight more weeks to that; that is the amount of time it takes for the vagina and uterus to go back to its default form. Plus, the amount of time it takes to recover from the psycholical trauma from pregnancy. You are looking at about 1 male per year.
If we are to use the US's legal age (and I am putting it nicely by disregarding anyone before 18), then we can judge when a female is promiscuous BY NATURE. If she is 29 and has had more than 10 men, she is promiscouos.
The average 25 year old American female today has had 30-40 partners by then...you do the math. She must have had a train run through her.
Realize that I am not telling you to dump her out of ideals and principals (no one goes far with that). There is science behind this. It is psychologically, genetically, biologically, socioeconomically, financially, reproductively and personally COSTLY in having anything to do with a female like that in the long-term.
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/8/2011 5:43:12 PM |
Second, having sex with 100 clean females does not mean you will get an STD. Having sex with 1 "dirty" female will get you an STD. Simple, common sense. I can't believe I am explaining something so simple to a female near her 40s.
The fact is, if you have sex with 100 females you are more likely to meet 1 that has an STI than if you only have sex with 5 females... | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/8/2011 5:45:09 PM |
I know the common rebuttal to that is as long as someone can prove they are clean then why does it matter, and to that one has to look no further than the '80s when I'm sure everyone was "clean" until that whole HIV and AIDS thing was discovered.
The rebuttal to that is that no one can be 100% sure that they are "clean"... Some STI's don't show up in testing... Others may take months to show up...
The other part of that especially for anyone young is that an undetected STI can render a woman infertile... or leave her with a time bomb like cervical cancer... or perhaps weakened liver... | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/8/2011 5:51:56 PM |
The fact is, if you have sex with 100 females you are more likely to meet 1 that has an STI than if you only have sex with 5 females...
The scary thing is a lot of STIs can't be cured, and this is the one fact that doesn't seem to resonate with people nowadays for whatever reason. If it's a virus, as most STIs are, you'll have it 'til you die and can pass it along to someone else. | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/8/2011 5:56:57 PM |
The rebuttal to that is that no one can be 100% sure that they are "clean"... Some STI's don't show up in testing... Others may take months to show up...
The other part of that especially for anyone young is that an undetected STI can render a woman infertile... or leave her with a time bomb like cervical cancer... or perhaps weakened liver...
My point EXACTLY. Those that go around saying "it's none of your business" are either embarrassed about their number, in need of a modern day sex-ed class, or just really clueless and think that as long as the guy wears a condom they are good to go. No wonder things like HSV and HPV are spreading like wildfire. Wonder how long it'll take for the general public to figure out that condoms aren't a silver bullet in STI prevention and that a little more caution needs to be exercised before hopping into bed even with protection. | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/8/2011 6:04:46 PM | Her not jumping into bed with you on the first night could be a great thing. Maybe she wanted to take you more seriously, and not end up as another in her list. Then again, she may have just been drunk or emotionally vulnerable with the others. She may have low self esteem and use sex as a way to validate her self-worth.
Out of curiosity, why would it be important how many she has been with before, except as a measure of recklessness/immaturity and STD worries?
Lastly, you can get pregnant on the pill. Using multiple forms of birth control increases your odds of preventing pregnancy. | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/8/2011 7:35:51 PM | In this case the woman was of a fair age, such that she could be with about 1 man a year. That is not promiscuous in the sense that she has to sleep all over to feel a kick. I understand that certain men, I suppose including you, take a more classical view of sexuality, and would prefer a virginal woman to ensure any child that ensues would be your own - which is great from an evolutionary perspective.
The notion that all promiscuous women cheat is... well wrong. I'd take trouble with the word 'all' or that its only a matter of time. However, I do not know your definition of promiscuous so I can't pick too carefully at that.
However, from the perspective of the human race a woman cheating is beneficial to the race as a whole because it ensures greater genetic diversity. So while you have your reasons in evolutionary terms to select a monogamous female (having exclusive access to a female is quite beneficial) she likewise would have excellent reason to stray. Evolutionary benefits can be used to explain many human behaviors.
All that said, I don't condone cheating even if it does have an evolutionary basis. | |
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/8/2011 8:12:38 PM | Statistically, cheating is fairly normal. You are assuming all men know when a mate cheats. Often this is not evident until birth (in the case of mixed race cheating) or even later in the case of similar-appearance cheating. Many studies have shown that women cheat more often than men. Generally, women will find a long term relationship with a provider type and mate on the side with a more aggresive or otherwise manly type. This produces genetic diversity in her offspring. The oft-unknowing male will then raise both his own and the other mans progeny. She only loses her protection when caught. Even then, men have more to gain from singular access to a fertile female than the female does.
However, all of this is off topic. I'd be glad to debate it if you open a new topic. Do please leave the 'women are less intelligent than men' thing behind. I could debate that too, but that would, again, be another topic.'
-edit-
I only read the last portion of your post. If I do not remark on it, I apologize, I may not have had the time/energy to do so.
You noted the average gestation period, and the time for a uterus to return to normal size. However, there is the underlying assumption that all attempts at procreation are successful, and thus only once per year would be readily available. However, given that under todays use contraception, most sexual activity does not result in a child, once per year shows considerable restraint. Even in the past when protection was not available, many efforts do not result in pregnancy, and many others end in miscarriage. A woman who only mated once per year for ten years would be quite unlikely to bear 10 children. She would have to be in a fertile period, no miscarriage would occur (which happens more often in first pregnancies), among other confounding factors.
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| HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/9/2011 7:12:44 AM | Verygreeneyez: your original statement was:
ED isn't something you manifest due to boredom in the bedroom.
This could very well be the exact cause. See below, where your very own cribbing of the Mayo Clinic web site torpedoes your own argument.
(as an aside, I love how people become instant experts on anything, because the web says it... there are oodles of doctors/psychotherapists out there, apparently...)
You further state:
The brain plays a key role in triggering the series of physical events that cause an erection, starting with feelings of sexual excitement. A number of things can interfere with sexual feelings and cause or worsen erectile dysfunction. These include:
* Depression, anxiety or other mental health conditions
* Stress
* Fatigue
* Relationship problems due to stress, poor communication or other concerns
It would have been more impressive if you could have done this research before you were called on it, rather than after.
Arlo... rolleyes: | |
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