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 Rachee30
Joined: 12/25/2011
Msg: 676
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??Page 28 of 30    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)
Doing what I would like to do and doing what is right for me in the long run are not always the same thing.
We all get carried away sometimes if we like someone and hope that they will want it to turn into something more. So I have to control my urges for myself to protect myself from getting hurt.

I never start dating someone thinking they will treat me poorly, and I do not think all guys are the same, If I thought that I would never date again! lol

As for someone's number it doesn't really bother me as that is someones past, It does not mean they are a bad person, they may just like sex and did not find the right person to settle down with yet.
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 677
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/17/2012 5:35:25 PM
Look, here's what I want you to do. The next time you are making love, while you are in the act, I want you to think about those other fourteen guys making love to her. Picture it in your mind. Every detail. Vividly. All fourteen of them. Them touching her naked body. Their hands roughly caressing her breasts. Pinching her nipples. Grasping the curve of her buttocks. Their wet tongues sliding across her abdomen and up and down her inner thighs. Them thrusting themselves unprotected, savagely into her every orifice while she writhes, moans, and screamingly begs for more in a seemingly endless, violently, shivering and quaking orgasm of depraved cum drenched lust.

This should help you get over it. And no need to thank me, Hugo. I'm just glad I could help.
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 678
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/17/2012 7:50:43 PM
^^mean and funny^^ at the same time.
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 679
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/17/2012 9:29:30 PM
To adora71.

Mean? I'm not being mean. (And thank you for appreciating my somewhat dark sense of humor.)

I didn't ask someone to trust me enough to reveal personal and confidential information about themselves to me and then immediately turn around and use that information to diminish the other person.

Doing that, asking for trust and then using confidences as weapons, is mean.

I think one of the most precious things two people offer each other in a new relationship is the opportunity to start anew. No one has to carry their baggage forward. No one has to carry their mistakes or misdeeds. They can be free of these burdens. They each have the opportunity to be the person they claim they are, the person they want to be.

For one to pick up the other person's baggage and start rummaging around in it for things they can use against the other person is deplorable.

Yeah, sure, if you're a convicted felon on parole/probation or you're way, way in debt and you're thinking about more than just dating someone, or you can't or don't want to have children, you should tell the other person and let them decide if they want to and can deal with the ramification of that.

But we aren't talking about that.

Heck, the girl didn't even know him. What was she supposed to do spend her life locked in her bedroom with her legs crossed waiting for the day this Prince Charming came and made her life the happy fairy tale she, and more importantly to him, he always dreamed of?

The truth is she had no idea she'd ever meet him.

And what's bugging him isn't that he isn't the first one. What's bugging him is that she didn't tell him he was the best one. Maybe she should have told that harmless white lie. But, so what? She didn't. And that's what's really cycling through his self obsessed little brain.

He needs to learn that there's more to life than just that. Yeah, if all you want is a good old fashioned romp through the hay, then by all means seek out the best friggin' romp you can find. But if you're looking for more, if you're looking for a relationship, then all kinds of other things start entering the equation. Compassion. Humor. Stability. Loyalty. Dedication. Perseverance. Shared values. Share goals. Shared methodologies. The list goes on and on.

It's been my personal good, or bad, depending on how you look at it, fortune to have known some women who could rock the world. It didn't mean that I would or did marry them. And, for all those seeking the fireworks, I can attest to the fact that there is a lot of pretty poison in the world.

Sure, I'd like to have it all. Who wouldn't? But, even if you don't get it all, it doesn't mean you made compromises.

If we're lucky one day we find ourselves looking at someone else and thinking "I could spend the rest of my life with this person and always be happy". If we're even luckier, they are looking at us and thinking the same thing.

That feeling comes from more, much more, that just a roll in the hay.
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 680
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/17/2012 11:24:42 PM
I actually agree with you. Mean may have been going a little far, but I am just picturing the poor guy reading your very detailed words and having a little cry on his keyboard. But it did make me laugh quite a bit.

Losing faith in a woman over the number of lovers does seem a little over the top, but my guess is that the OP is having other issues too within the relationship and this is the one he has decided to focus on--because it is something that can't be changed.

OP: If you are worried about your lovemaking, try getting more information. Don't talk with her about it yet, just buy a book or find some sites about what women really like in bed. Not male-based porn fantasy stuff, but real information about how to turn a woman on. Then try it out. You may be surprised at the results...
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 681
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/17/2012 11:24:56 PM
I actually agree with you. Mean may have been going a little far, but I am just picturing the poor guy reading your very detailed words and having a little cry on his keyboard. But it did make me laugh quite a bit.

Losing faith in a woman over the number of lovers does seem a little over the top, but my guess is that the OP is having other issues too within the relationship and this is the one he has decided to focus on--because it is something that can't be changed.

OP: If you are worried about your lovemaking, try getting more information. Don't talk with her about it yet, just buy a book or find some sites about what women really like in bed. Not male-based porn fantasy stuff, but real information about how to turn a woman on. Then try it out. You may be surprised at the results...
 HeathV2012
Joined: 10/11/2010
Msg: 682
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HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/18/2012 1:35:42 AM
Silent Bob speech
http://youtu.be/PBlA_fsi_VE
 katt99
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 683
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/18/2012 1:42:15 AM
She sounds really young... and how can you trust her now?
 Isis_feline
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 684
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/18/2012 4:14:49 AM

Also she didn't jump into bed the first night we met - she did with
others therefore she must not have liked me as much as the others on
our first night which doesn't bode well for our future?


Some men are for the night, some men are worth getting to know and wait a while for......a one night stand is just that....she wont have feeling for him beyond wanting to get naked so why wait a few dates?


sometimes us girls are no more complicated that some guys :)
 true and honest
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 685
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HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/18/2012 4:44:37 PM
some better questions for her would be:
howmany girls have you been with?
have you had a threesome (foursome, fivesome) all males all females ect?
have you ever had a farm animal?
was his name trigger, did he pull your trigger?
what is the biggest one you have had, no i meant tallest, no imeant fattest one?
have you had more than one at the same time in relatively close proximity?
did she invite any of her x's' over for you?
are you a member of the mile 2 mile three mile 4 mile 5 mile outerspace club?

THER PRECEEING IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT VALUE ONLY! ANY USE OF THESE QUESTIONS IN PART OR WHOLE ARE MEANT TO BE WELL, FOR THE HOE!
14 previous lovers are not bad, 4 for is better 3 is better but two in the right places are better......
fun is really defned as howmany have you had in what time frame 14 in one day now that would be fun!!!!!
quit whining get tested for the creepy crud and love her part time, once or not at all, ya baby! ! ! !
 Fadedrainbow
Joined: 11/28/2011
Msg: 686
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HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/18/2012 4:58:25 PM
Yicks why would you want someone who is so trampy. This girl doesnt want a boyfriend she just wants casual sex and she also will cheat on you with who ever comes along. Why waste your time. I would also have her tested for aids and sdts
 lookin4fun571
Joined: 12/16/2011
Msg: 687
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/18/2012 5:09:32 PM
Dont ask a question you dont really want to know the answer to. besides Is it really any of your business how many men or women she was with before you? I wouldnt ask a question like that because anything that happened before my time isnt really any of my business
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 688
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HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/18/2012 8:36:30 PM

some better questions for her would be:
howmany girls have you been with?

It's funny how people throw that line back...
Yet, what if the guy hadn't been banging everything that moves...
I have buddies who probably have only slept with a handful of women by late middle age... One friend married as a virgin when he was a teen... him and his wife recently split... (she still hasn't had anyone new.... )
Now he's recently started dating another woman.... she is his second, and he's 44...
Somehow I can't see him wanting a woman who's had a lot of partners....
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 689
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/19/2012 12:39:32 AM
how many is too many
if you say X.... it will always be too many depending on the perception and the context.
" I have only slept with one other man" Of course it was last night after our date and he is better than you - but only one other man.

Feel better ?
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 690
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/19/2012 3:02:44 AM
The next time you are making love, while you are in the act, I want you to think about those other fourteen guys making love to her. Picture it in your mind. Every detail. Vividly.

That kind of stuff doesn't bother me. After all, I've been around the block a few times and done all of those things to more women than that. Not only that, I liked doing it - some more than others, but who cares? Why should expect a woman to have done anything differently?

I think one of the most precious things two people offer each other in a new relationship is the opportunity to start anew. No one has to carry their baggage forward. No one has to carry their mistakes or misdeeds. They can be free of these burdens. They each have the opportunity to be the person they claim they are, the person they want to be.

So, if you pretend it didn't happen, it didn't happen? No thanks. I want someone to be who she is and who she is, is the sum total of everything she's done. I don't want to like someone because she's pretending to be something she isn't, especially in this case, since sex is supposed to be fun, not something evil.

One friend married as a virgin when he was a teen... him and his wife recently split... (she still hasn't had anyone new.... )

And despite such a noble begining, his marriage didn't last.
Now he's recently started dating another woman.... she is his second, and he's 44...
Somehow I can't see him wanting a woman who's had a lot of partners....

That's certainly his prerogative. What that means in terms of finding a lasting relationship isn't all that clear, though. Obviously, the first one didn't work out, despite the zero partner count.
 Rachee30
Joined: 12/25/2011
Msg: 691
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/19/2012 4:33:16 AM

Yicks why would you want someone who is so trampy. This girl doesnt want a boyfriend she just wants casual sex and she also will cheat on you with who ever comes along. Why waste your time. I would also have her tested for aids and sdts


I think this is a horrible thing to say about a woman we have never even met. So what number does a woman have to get to to be classed as trampy? If a guy sleeps with many women is he also a tramp?
Not everyone is lucky enough to have found one person to settle down with and waited till they were married to lose there virginity and lived happily ever after! get real!
 rigal41
Joined: 8/24/2011
Msg: 692
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/19/2012 6:22:31 AM
Personally for me I don't need my boyfriends past details and he is in agreement as he doesn't want to know mine. We do know we've both had a couple of LTR's but that's it...at 42 I don't need his high school, college, young adult male sex count..all I want us both to share is that we are both disease free, have been tested as of recent, etc.
 AngelofHonesty
Joined: 1/4/2012
Msg: 693
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/19/2012 7:47:35 AM
Aw, look who's ego is shattered, you thought you were getting a virgin. Get over it already really, so she slept with some other guys, I'm sure you have had sexual encounters before. That's why I always never answer or ask the question "How many people have you slept with", it only leads to trouble as you have found out first hand.!!!!!!

The whole comparison of what she did with other guys will drive you insane, you can't change the past, now your present relationship with her is a different story, I mean what's the real meaning of this, are you feeling that she's cheating on you and that's the reason for the use of condoms or what? We can't help you with that, you're going to have to use resource and common sense to figure that out for yourself. Oh and by the way if it doesn't work out with you and her, let this be a lesson for the next relationship, don't ask her the question of how many she slept with, then it can't consume your sanity!!!!
 Johndavies115
Joined: 12/24/2009
Msg: 694
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:54:30 AM

If a guy sleeps with many women is he also a tramp?

This issue was already covered in another thread, because women are the gatekeepers of sex (in most cases)...it creates the imbalance of which you speak.

The ability to get sex whenever and wherever you like comes at a price. That price is that a woman's value decreases when the number of men she has been with increases and conversely a man's value increases when the number of women he has been with increases.

The only way that is ever going to change is if women accept sex whenever it is offerred. Never going to happen ^_^;
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 695
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HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/19/2012 9:26:48 AM

And despite such a noble begining, his marriage didn't last.


What that means in terms of finding a lasting relationship isn't all that clear, though. Obviously, the first one didn't work out, despite the zero partner count


Yeah, those 20+ years they were together were such a waste... they started to grow apart when she had early menopause just after their 2 kids moved out... she's no longer the same person she was even 5 years ago...
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 696
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HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/19/2012 9:30:29 AM

If a guy sleeps with many women is he also a tramp?

Why not?
I've been called worse things as a guy for sleeping with too many women. I've had women n ot want to date me because of the number of people I've slept with... I lost out on a few great women that way....
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 697
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/19/2012 9:44:03 AM

Yeah, those 20+ years they were together were such a waste... they started to grow apart when she had early menopause just after their 2 kids moved out... she's no longer the same person she was even 5 years ago...

What's your point? You were the one who brought up the low partner count as somehow being advantageous in bringing something of value to a relationship or something to value, yet the couple in the example you gave got divorced when the guy was 44. just like lots of other middle age couples. As I said, looking for someone with a low partner count is certainly his prerogative, but it's not clear what that has to do with whether or not someone is good relationship material. All you've done is provide some details confirming what I said.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 698
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HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/19/2012 10:43:44 AM

What's your point? You were the one who brought up the low partner count as somehow being advantageous in bringing something of value to a relationship or something to value

My point was that not all people have high counts and will be accepting of that in the people they see.... I didn't say it was an advantage...
That being said, they did last 20+ years which does seem to be more than the average these days and if she hadn't had a complete personality change due to menopause, they might still have been together....
 princeofyours
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 699
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/19/2012 3:04:35 PM
Hugo mate in my opinion she's told you a pack of lies and it's just the tip of the iceberg.

Get rid and move on to another.

And don't believe women are the "fairer sex" despite all their BS about being homely, proper etc they are no better than us guys when it comes to playing around.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 700
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/19/2012 3:47:58 PM
At almost 42, I can count the people I've slept with on one hand and still have spare fingers but I am not for one minute naive enough to think that many people this age, can say the same.

When will people allow their partner's sexual past to be just that !

It's none of your business how many people she has been intimate with before you - and asking that question of someone, is really never going to come to any good ! What matters is what happens between the two of you going forward.

And asking her to compare your abilities to her ex's is a dangerous game to play. You should leave that one well alone. That's a whole can of worms (no pun intended) that you really do not want to open.

Learn to accept that she's not with any of these exes today, for a reason. And that is more then enough detail and information.

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