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 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 251
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I burned my bridges with a narcissistPage 11 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

What spectrum? There is only one kind of great white shark and there is only one kind of NPD according to the DSM. Yet many psychologists who have blanketed the diagnosis have led many to believe there are multiple types of NPD's


Based on the fact that there's more than one 'criteria' for NPD.....not all NPD's can be carbon copies of each other. From what I know, great white sharks don't have a personality. Their existence consists of reproducing, and hunting, and eating.

Humans are the highest species on the food chain.....how exactly can you compare the two?
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 252
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 3/19/2012 3:24:19 PM
I understand your mixed emotions and you care for this girl but realise she is not a good prospect for the long term. You can always find someone to have sex with, surely. Using her for that would have been quite immoral. She may have had her motives and wanting you to pay out for her habit maybe. You did the right thing and I think when you are dealing with addicts, it is very difficult road.

I gave up on a guy who I realise is a sociopath and quite cold. He is charming and attractive but exhibits no care or concern for others as far as I can see. So we treat others with our hearts, but ourselves with our heads.
 1ukn4u
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 253
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 3/20/2012 3:01:32 PM

Based on the fact that there's more than one 'criteria' for NPD.....not all NPD's can be carbon copies of each other. From what I know, great white sharks don't have a personality. Their existence consists of reproducing, and hunting, and eating.

Humans are the highest species on the food chain.....how exactly can you compare the two?


Quazi look you do a thing that people with your diagnosis do that has always gotten on my nerves. You have taken a small part of what I've said and picked it apart till it's unrecognizable. As a matter of fact I've tried to have conversations with BPDs and if we didn't agree on something during the conversation. I could see them trying to formulate a response before my sentence was even finished. In the process of this missing the entire point I was making. It's impossible to have a conversation like this. Instead of arguing my point I made they argue some insignificant piece of the sentence instead of listening and actually having an argument against the point itself.

I've asked you politely to message me to keep the needless banter back and forth down. I get you don't agree but please formulate a reasonably good response as to why.
 TKO38
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 254
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 3/20/2012 5:47:02 PM
I think you know the answer to your own question, you clearly say things in your note that are good indications/reasons not to be friends.
A narcissist is just not a great person to be around period! They are 'life vampires', they suck the life right out of you. Its not worth being around one.
Youve made a good decision and you will be the happier for it.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 255
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I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 3/20/2012 6:46:09 PM

Quazi look you do a thing that people with your diagnosis do that has always gotten on my nerves. You have taken a small part of what I've said and picked it apart till it's unrecognizable. As a matter of fact I've tried to have conversations with BPDs and if we didn't agree on something during the conversation. I could see them trying to formulate a response before my sentence was even finished. In the process of this missing the entire point I was making. It's impossible to have a conversation like this. Instead of arguing my point I made they argue some insignificant piece of the sentence instead of listening and actually having an argument against the point itself.

I've asked you politely to message me to keep the needless banter back and forth down. I get you don't agree but please formulate a reasonably good response as to why.


This is from Wikipedia.....a characteristic of your disorder:


Intense preoccupation with a narrow subject, one-sided verbosity, restricted prosody, and physical clumsiness are typical of the condition, but are not required for diagnosis.[5]


I can assure you that I'm well trained in "active listening", and don't formulate a response until I've heard/read the entire content of the other person's message.

It probably won't have ever dawned on you that some of the time, you compare apples to oranges, and that your analogy doesn't make sense.

The problem with the DSM, is that it outlines specific criteria used to form a diagnosis. It doesn't account for the different combinations of criteria, which will result in differences in behaviours of NPD's. The example I use for BPD is "cutting". Several people I know "cut". I don't, and never have. That does not change my diagnosis. Saying that there is only one "type" of NPD, is a "narrow subject", straight line, entirely literal statement.

If you believe that I'm splitting hairs because I'm BPD, carry on....

If you think I'm going to message you to discuss where "I'm" going "wrong" because I'm not "really listening" to what you're saying, think again.....

I've overcome my difficulties with communication, thank you very much.
 Sussieee
Joined: 2/28/2012
Msg: 256
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 3/20/2012 7:14:36 PM
Sounds like both quazi and 1ukn4u are narcissists. You two should start your own private thread about how to both know everything there is to know about personality disorders.... your both crazy!!!!
 1ukn4u
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 257
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 3/20/2012 7:54:02 PM
This is what you quoted

What spectrum? There is only one kind of great white shark and there is only one kind of NPD according to the DSM. Yet many psychologists who have blanketed the diagnosis have led many to believe there are multiple types of NPD's


This is the paragraph in it's entirety



What spectrum? There is only one kind of great white shark and there is only one kind of NPD according to the DSM. Yet many psychologists who have blanketed the diagnosis have led many to believe there are multiple types of NPD's. They do this for multiple reasons. 1. NPD's are interesting it catches your attention. Just like great white sharks are interesting and will catch your attention. 2. It makes you want to hear what they have to say. If they blanketed it and called it mentally disordered people it wouldn't sell. Just like someone blanketing shark week and calling it fish week. It's just not as catchy. 3. They justify the lie with abusive mentally disordered people are dangerous and you should basically do as they are asking you to do if that's the case.



Here's what you posted.



Based on the fact that there's more than one 'criteria' for NPD.....not all NPD's can be carbon copies of each other. From what I know, great white sharks don't have a personality. Their existence consists of reproducing, and hunting, and eating.

Humans are the highest species on the food chain.....how exactly can you compare the two?



Do you really think I was comparing a person with NPD to a shark literally? It was obviously an analogy I used to make a point that you totally missed and now here we are here bickering needlessly on a Thread?




I can assure you that I'm well trained in "active listening", and don't formulate a response until I've heard/read the entire content of the other person's message.



Really? No when you are upset by the content of a post or you disagree with it you don't really read and understand the whole thing correctly. Just like when you were trying to say I was twisting your words and all in Msg 234. It was obvious you DIDN'T READ ALL OF WHAT WAS WRITTEN.



It probably won't have ever dawned on you that some of the time, you compare apples to oranges, and that your analogy doesn't make sense.



Then by all means everyone. Chime in and agree with her how you also didn't get the analogy of my post. If no one chimes in I think it's safe to say you might be the only one Quazi. Want to not post a couple of days and find out?



The problem with the DSM, is that it outlines specific criteria used to form a diagnosis. It doesn't account for the different combinations of criteria, which will result in differences in behaviours of NPD's. The example I use for BPD is "cutting". Several people I know "cut". I don't, and never have. That does not change my diagnosis. Saying that there is only one "type" of NPD, is a "narrow subject", straight line, entirely literal statement.



Here's the thing. The above would be a very good argument on your behalf. The bottom line is that if you are diagnosed NPD you fall in a certain category of person. Regardless of what criteria you qualified for or didn't. If your NPD your NPD. Some alcoholics hold down full time jobs their whole lives. Just because it doesn't fit what one may consider to be an alcoholic doesn't mean they are any less one. Yes we are talking about people and people vary one from another. My point was that on some of these NPD survivor forums they have listed like 5 or 6 types of NPDs. Some of those types sound like other disorders and not NPD. According to the DSM the types described don't exist. That was my point. I'm not saying their is only 1 kind of NPD and they all behave exactly the same. I'm saying they all act similar otherwise they wouldn't fit into the same category known as NPD.



If you believe that I'm splitting hairs because I'm BPD, carry on....


Yes, I do as a matter of fact.



If you think I'm going to message you to discuss where "I'm" going "wrong" because I'm not "really listening" to what you're saying, think again.....



I didn't say where your going wrong. I said if you need me to clarify things to you!! That's all these posts are about now. Me clarifying things to you. Why does this have to be done in a public thread like this? Makes us both look like a couple of morons.



I've overcome my difficulties with communication, thank you very much.


That's debatable.



Look Quazi yes. No two people are exactly alike. Most NPDs or certain disordered people are going to behave simularly though. Narcissism is to a degree a spectrum and the key part of this is that at the very top of that spectrum you have NPD.

Pathological narcissism occurs in a spectrum of severity. In its more extreme
forms, it is narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

This is how it is worded even in wiki. So Narcissism is a spectrum until you get to the personality disorder itself. Then you are at the top of the sprectrum. So in other words once your at the top theirs really no place esle to go. So in a way NPD isn't really a spectrum disorder in and of itself. It's actually the top of a spectrum of Narcissism itself.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 258
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I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 3/20/2012 8:48:37 PM

Really? No when you are upset by the content of a post or you disagree with it you don't really read and understand the whole thing correctly. Just like when you were trying to say I was twisting your words and all in Msg 234. It was obvious you DIDN'T READ ALL OF WHAT WAS WRITTEN.


I'm done corresponding with you.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 259
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 3/20/2012 9:21:50 PM
wow; you are asking if you made the right choice still? you were probably a 5 months off when you should have seen it.

Its not as deep as your post. peoples actions show they are.
 blueceleste
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 260
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I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 3/21/2012 9:29:43 AM
my ex friend is a Narc only concerns about herself and has no empathy for others only when she feels like it. why was i "friends with her for 10 yrs?" i dont know maybe it reminded me of my Narc parents. ppl hated her and felt she was really rude they told me why am i friends with her? im nothing like her but the ppl felt i could do better for a friend. in high school, it was just a meaningless friendship she would joke around but it was more like she was insulting you than anything else when she says im joking ppl didnt see it that way it always left with your feelings hurt.

i told her that and got mad calling me a big baby i told her it sounded u were insulting but covering it up like it is a joke. she never understood anything when u present something to her when u felt she hurt your feelings. she claimed she had all of these friends i didnt see them nor met them either she is a pathological liar im like great almost a mirror image of my parents!

i havent talked to her in 4 yrs and i couldnt be any happier. i stopped talking to her for good reasons but she cursed me out on the phone not sure what she said cuz i already had the phone off my ear. she cant understand why most ppl dont like her but they liked me some ppl didnt wanna talk to me cuz they felt i was like her when that isnt true. i found out shes married with a kid i said oh god i feel sorry for the kid
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