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| | Approaching the subject of sex with older womenPage 6 of 16 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16) |
My observations were and are that older women are just as interested in sex as men, probably more so as they age. There is no way you can really tell until you actually meet and date them. Once you meet face to face and spend time together it usually becomes pretty obvious.
I've found this to be true to some extent. The problem I've seen is that ***WHERE I LIVE*** [don't wanna sidetrack or hijack the thread, now] it's not all that uncommon for people - both genders - to have had only one partner in their adult lives. My life experience has been different in a lot of ways. I don't mind a brief discussion of 'do you think outside the box?' [usually meaning 'are you interested in anything more adventurous than the missionary position?] What I do find insulting and a turn-off is conversation that is stuck in that rut. It's like the man forgets I actually have a brain and know how to use it, or thinks that I'm no more than a receptacle for his pleasure. | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 2:51:32 PM | "she really didn't like giving bjs or receiving oral sex "
I have no idea how a man who I have had sex with before is with bjs or roal sex. How am I going to know with I am going to like those two things with him.
No, Moraima. Believe it or not in this day and age there STILL are women who "don't do that sort of thing. EWWWW!"  And you can't blame a man for wanting something besides missionary position with a cold, dead, dry f... f... fish.   
The problem I've seen is that ***WHERE I LIVE*** [don't wanna sidetrack or hijack the thread, now] it's not all that uncommon for people - both genders - to have had only one partner in their adult lives.
This is NOT an exaggeration! I know where she lives! And they're the same ones who don't do BJs. | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 2:55:59 PM |
will never forget have a few days with this guy. On maybe the 3 or 4th. day, he wore a shirt that had baked on yellow sweat stains on the armpits. I sure wasn't sticking around to see what was baked on to his shorts
Jaysus Mori hun, did you have to paint me that pic?
And Miss Roper does have an actual point. There are still ladies out there who are of the old fashioned school of thought. Good girls don't do certain things...cuz they just D'ONT! Hmm.....wonder what school I came from? | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 2:58:27 PM | "Believe it or not in this day and age there STILL are women who "don't do that sort of thing. EWWWW!" And you can't blame a man for wanting something besides missionary position with a cold, dead, dry f... f... fish. "
I just love the way people have been with cold, dead fish, and ask others to prove they aren't cold, dead fish. From what I have seen, those who found their partner to be a cold, dead fish, were usually cold dead (some times smelly) fish themselves. Not my problem that other people haven't enjoyed their sex life in the past. Not my job to guarantee that with me it will be different.
Funny how it goes. Usually you hear the ex was a dead fish whine, followed by the ex says I talk too much, followed by the ex says I am too selfish....................at that point you zone out because already you are agreeing with the ex. | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 3:04:08 PM |
I just love the way people have been with cold, dead fish, and ask others to prove they aren't cold, dead fish. From what I have seen, those who found their partner to be a cold, dead fish, were usually cold dead (some times smelly) fish themselves. Not my problem that other people haven't enjoyed their sex life in the past. Not my job to guarantee that with me it will be different.
Funny how it goes. Usually you hear the ex was a dead fish whine, followed by the ex says I talk too much, followed by the ex says I am too selfish....................at that point you zone out because already you are agreeing with the ex.
Nice evasion of the points people just brought up to you.
I'm getting the impression that you're not much of this "school". I could be wrong. | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 3:13:37 PM | moraima
I would never come right out and ask about sex, that's tacky. My question is usually What are you looking for. Do you desire a complete relationship, looking for endless dating, or just friendship. I usually ask this before I invite her out to dinner. I usually work the question into dinner conversation again. If her answer is anything but a complete relationship, I leave immediately. I'll leave enough cash on the table to cover dinner and a nice tip and I'm in my car driving away. I have no time for liars. | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 3:18:58 PM | I am going to say this, and of course, it is just my experience I am talking about, but if a man can really kiss, then he is going to have some skills in bed. You can tell if someone has a sensual nature, IMO, from how you interact with one another. I cannot imagine that a man cannot tell if a woman is comfortable in her sexuality, at least a little bit anyway.
I had a "good Christian man" write to me and right out of the blue, he asked me if I like to give oral because he was not aiming to spend the rest of his life without it. His ex did not give it to him and he wanted very much to enjoy that with a woman. He had NEVER experienced it he told me, after having been married to a woman for almost 40 years. DAMN! Can you imagine not having all kinds of fun in bed together given that you had shared a bed with someone that long?
I did not find this man appealing at all, would not have even if he had not been so crass, so we did not communicate further. However, I did feel for him to have never known much pleasure with his wife according to his side of the story. | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 4:10:00 PM |
Tink
what is it that gives men and women the right to play childish games at a dating site?We're supposed to be here for dating and the possibility of a relationship. Those who are only here for friendship should be honest right upfront and say I'm only here to pamper my ego not find a relationship. I find those who employ the type of dishonesty so prevelant here to be nothing more than liars. My "picker" as you call it can't distinguish between truthful women and liars.
I have no idea why you keep asserting that men and women are playing childish games with you. It must be that "picker" of yours that needs a tune up because countless other people seem to be able to distinguish that which you fail to. Perhaps courses in reading comprehension and elementary psychology might be of benefit. You really need to consider taking responsibility for your inability to discern your own mistakes when it comes to your selective choices rather than placing the blame on others.
Where is it written that We're supposed to be here for dating and the possibility of a relationship? Once again I will spell it out for you - this site is open to anyone over the age of 18 years old who chooses to join irregardless of whether they intend to commence dating, friendship - platonic or otherwise, long term relationship, activity partner, e-mail/chat, intimate encounter or other relationship. Again, I reiterate that YOU do not get to decide who is allowed to become a member of this site.
I am one of those that is on this site for friends and the fora. I have always been upfront about that as have many, many other members of this site of both genders. I never have and never will be here to "pamper my ego" as you state but if you feel better thinking that is the case for me as well as the many others that are here for the friends and the fora, then have at 'er! | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 4:10:03 PM |
I have no idea how a man who I have had sex with before is with bjs or oral sex. How am I going to know with I am going to like those two things with him. How do I know if he has poor washing habits? These are all things I am going to find out when it happens, as he will find out.
You mean if he has poor washing habits ...you would consider anything sexual with him??????? ewwww
If his teeth arent clean ...he aint even getting a kiss!
If a man isnt clean he isnt getting near me! | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 4:21:09 PM | "If her answer is anything but a complete relationship, I leave immediately. I'll leave enough cash on the table to cover dinner and a nice tip and I'm in my car driving away. I have no time for liars."
I don't get where the lying comes in. Why would anyone say they wanted a complete relationship, if that is the last thing they wanted??? Comes no sense to me.
Not clearing the what are you looking for in emails, but not yipping on about "you better do this sexually etc." only makes sense. If the man is talking about long term in his profile, and am sure going to be asking him why he has contacted me without reading my profile.
Please explain why women would lie about wanting a relationship with you, then not give you a relationship.
Don't think it has a darn thing to do with lying, but has everything to do with not wanting a relationship with that specific man.
I make it clear on my profile and in the forum at I would date about 1% of the available population. I also make it clear that their will be no living together. Maybe 10% of people get the no living together.
I see a lot of anger about people not getting the sex they want. I can only imagine this is an ongoing problem. Maybe time to look at why they aren't getting it. | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 4:33:24 PM | The gospel truth ,I would rather lose my man (if I have one) into a woman and I don't feel bad. but if I lose my man into another man "and ask the question to myself ,what he's got that I ain't got, it is obvious that I ain't got what he's got,,,,,But if my man wanted a real MCcoy I can do what the other man can do to him...............
But this doesn't mean that if I was invited to dinner that I was already into him,when I am not even warm up to the person if I decided, I like him or not and that is not mean I am lying to him... and it is vice versa..
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 4:37:14 PM | onlyfootprints says:
I would never come right out and ask about sex, that's tacky. My question is usually What are you looking for. Do you desire a complete relationship, looking for endless dating, or just friendship. I usually ask this before I invite her out to dinner. I usually work the question into dinner conversation again. If her answer is anything but a complete relationship, I leave immediately. I'll leave enough cash on the table to cover dinner and a nice tip and I'm in my car driving away. I have no time for liars.
okay... I can comprehend the fact that YOU desire a complete relationship...but to slam everyone else on a dating site who isn't on the same page as you, is rather insulting.
What? You think that just because a woman doesn't want to have a "complete" relationships with YOU (translation: has no desire to jump YOUR bones) she's a LIAR!!!
In a "perfect world" we all probably desire the full-meal deal, complete with sunshine, rainbows and crazy wild monkey sex...
BUT your sense of entitlement cracks me up. | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 4:42:14 PM |
Please explain why women would lie about wanting a relationship with you, then not give you a relationship.
Some women, as well as some men, will say whatever they think one wants to hear, because they simply do not want to be alone. And there are a very few who sincerely don't get what a relationship is - they truly think it's a glorified friendship or a housemate kind of living arrangement. In the first case, it's lying. In the second case, it's ignorance. | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 4:43:18 PM | Free-At-Last has good points, it is my guess as well, that your sense of what is expected of these ladies is what turned things into dead-end dates. Ladies, at least some of us, want to be given some time to get to know you before we are ready for a more intimate relationship. Many of us wait until we have an exclusive relationship before take the relationship to the sexual level.
Oh, the days of wild monkey sex, I lament that it has been longer than I care to admit since I have had that kind of jundle love.  | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 5:09:50 PM | Free at last,
What I was slamming are the numerous women who are quite willing to date and are unwilling to be honest about what they're looking for. I have no issue if she's not interested in me, that's just the way it is. My issue is with women who have no intention of becoming involved in a relationship with ANYONE. and just like the attention men are willing to give them, thus my statement about pampering their egos. I'm NOT talking about sex, I'm talking about honesty. I try to take everyone at their word but after I've become part of their little game it becomes quite clear that they are nothing but liars. And, yes, once it's become clear I've misjudged their lies for honesty I leave. No explanation necessary.
AS far as my sense of entitlement you are way off base. I'm honest about everything with a woman. I think I am entitled to honesty in return. It's no all about sex, it's about being honest. If you can't be honest why would I be interested. I guess women are entitled to lie and men are not? Enough of the games. Be honest about your intentions. Sorry I invaded your personal territory of the forums with a little truth. | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 6:09:29 PM | I don't have any problem with peeps who are here wanting all kinds of different things. If all Markus's drop down boxes don't cover exactly what you're looking for, you have the body of the profile to expand/expound upon it. But, yes, I do think there's a certain percentage, of both sexes, who decline to be honest. I'm not willing to say why, because I don't *know* why. I could speculate, but that's pretty pointless -- better to just get on with the looking. . . .
As for OPie's question, I think pleasurelimits has about got it right, lol! Would work with me. But, yay for me, I'm past that point, hopefully for all time.
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 6:21:10 PM | Re: Post 127 from pleasurelimits
I can assure you FarmBoy that the best way to approach an 'older' woman is straight up being dead straight honest in your feelings. The beauty of more mature women is they have 'been there done that,,, many times' and they know what they like and are not afraid to tell you, so just say to them 'I am still in charge of a very active libido, will that work with us?' and dont worry she will tell you. She has been 'conned, lied to, and in some cases manipulated and just wants to be loved and as a lady recently told me who is 75, when talking about her 'boyfriend' "hey I am not dead" so everything goes, gotta love them 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
As for OPie's question, I think pleasurelimits has about got it right, lol! Would work with me. But, yay for me, I'm past that point, hopefully for all time.
I agree, Wooby, that pleasurelimits knows of what he speaks... but that could be because I'm prejudice since he's mine. But I must say that he and I have always been open and honest in our feelings and desires so that neither of us was left to wonder. | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 6:45:59 PM |
I was under the mistaken impression the was a dating site. Anyone here for other reasons should be adult enough to state their intentions upfront and clearly. I'm personally tired of the game playing. Pamper your ego with someone else.
And there are some of us who had the mistaken impression that dates would be possible, too. I started out with 'long term' on my profile, but I've long since sort of given up on that and changed it to 'friends.' Mostly I'm just here for the forums and to make the occasional long distance friend. It's a good thing I enjoy making friends, because that's what I get. If lightning strikes, the earth shakes, blah blah, and I actually find a real live person, great. But I'm not holding my breath, either. If I recall correctly, I couldn't even contact you, because of your email restrictions. Not that I'm anywhere close to you and I doubt very much if we'd be any kind of match, but just think - you might have missed out of Ms Just Right, because of your own exclusions,
Lighten up. The search is supposed to be fun, too. | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 6:51:02 PM | "I seem to have a difficult time approaching this subject with older women to determine if they are interested in sex."
This isn't gender specific, and could as easily add light as to whether men would make good lovers.
Do they have good self esteem?
Do they truly like the opposite sex? (Loving people of the opposite is most often easier than liking somone they love.)
Are they affectionate or shy or reserved?
Do they spend a lot of time talking about the bitterness of past relationship(s)?
Do they have a resonable amount of energy?
Do they talk about being used by others?
Do these seem selfish?
There are many other things that could be added to this list, but I think the list so far gives an indication of how sharing people would be with a lover. | |
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Kranck
| | Joined: 11/30/2009
Msg: 148 | |
| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 6:57:11 PM | | As I’ve said elsewhere… let them bring it up. Invariably they do. I never met a woman here who didn’t like talking about sex. In their own way. In their own time. | |
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| Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/3/2010 7:03:43 PM | This isn't gender specific, and could as easily add light as to whether men would make good lovers.
Do they have good self esteem?
Do they truly like the opposite sex? (Loving people of the opposite is most often easier than liking someone they love.)
Are they affectionate or shy or reserved?
Do they spend a lot of time talking about the bitterness of past relationship(s)?
Do they have a reasonable amount of energy?
Do they talk about being used by others?
Do these seem selfish?
There are many other things that could be added to this list, but I think the list so far gives an indication of how sharing people would be with a lover.
Sorry, but there's NOTHING on this list that ensures that a man (or a woman) will be good in the sack for you (me).
Hell, one of the best lovers I've had (sorry to say) had low self esteem. | |
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