| | Definition of SparkPage 3 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Spark is that hormonal, phermone reaction we get to a member of the opposite sex (or same sex if you are gay) when you get a look and a smell of them. It is that physiological reaction that usually makes people want to pursue the other party.
What you are referring to is a mature relationship based on factors that go above and beyond that initial instantaneous attraction and you are right, those relationships tend to be more long lasting and solid than those based solely on a physical reaction to the other party. However, without that initial physical zing, most people are not going to be willing to continue dating because they don't "feel" it. | |
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| Definition of Spark
Posted: 9/9/2011 6:20:27 AM |
Personally I think it could appear in two ways, the first instant spark when you meet someone for me is a lustful attraction, the one that makes you want to rip their clothes off, this one in my opinion only really lasts for a short while and then although you still lust after the person, the intensity of it decreases...
Then there's the second one, the one I like, when you get to know someone and still, after time, get that butterfly feeling in the stomach at the thought of them. For me though, this is more of what a relationship grows into over time, and cannot be define as being missing after just one date, of course its missing!
The second definition work better for me. I could be physically attracted to someone and not feel an instant "spark" due to a variety of reasons. | |
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| Definition of Spark
Posted: 9/9/2011 6:24:27 AM | From "He's Just Not That Into You" :
"The spark thing is bullshit. Guys invented the spark so they could not call and treat you kind of badly and keep you guessing. Then convince you that that anxiety and fear that develops naturally was actually just a spark. And you guys all buy it. You eat it up and you love it. You love it because you feed off that drama. You all love that drama." | |
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| Definition of Spark
Posted: 9/9/2011 7:50:50 AM | | I agree totally with the last poster. The "spark" thing is total bullsh1t and I've always felt any guy who uses that line is just being a coward and doesn't have the balls to tell you what the real reason is. I know a girl who hates it so much that she says, "The next guy who tells me he doesn't feel that spark, I'm gonna shove a sparkler up his ass!" I'd rather not date a nutless coward anyway, but it sucks when you run into them for sure. | |
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| Definition of Spark
Posted: 9/9/2011 9:00:57 AM |
I agree totally with the last poster. The "spark" thing is total bullsh1t and I've always felt any guy who uses that line is just being a coward and doesn't have the balls to tell you what the real reason is. I know a girl who hates it so much that she says, "The next guy who tells me he doesn't feel that spark, I'm gonna shove a sparkler up his ass!" I'd rather not date a nutless coward anyway, but it sucks when you run into them for sure.
It's not just guys who use it as an excuse either. I've been fed that line by a number of women. At least now I can read between the lines. | |
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| Definition of Spark
Posted: 9/9/2011 5:30:29 PM | | The spark is that drama load of crap Hollywood has been flaunting around for years and many people lapped it up. | |
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| Definition of Spark
Posted: 9/9/2011 6:00:13 PM | I agree totally with the last poster. The "spark" thing is total bullsh1t and I've always felt any guy who uses that line is just being a coward and doesn't have the balls to tell you what the real reason is. I know a girl who hates it so much that she says, "The next guy who tells me he doesn't feel that spark, I'm gonna shove a sparkler up his ass!" I'd rather not date a nutless coward anyway, but it sucks when you run into them for sure.
Sometimes the real reason is they think the other person is boring, rude, arrogant, ugly, too fat, etc. Therefore they will say something vague like "no spark or chemistry". In order to avoid being completely mean to the other person. | |
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| Definition of Spark
Posted: 9/9/2011 6:26:38 PM | OP, I have never in my life even heard of a man saying to his male friends something like "I'm SO frustrated. She's beautiful, has a great personality, and we get along wonderfully. There's just no spark!"
That stuff IS the chemistry/spark for us. We steal that line when we don't want to be honest about the real reason, or at best use it as a synonym for a personality clash by analogy with what women experience.
It seems that most women have met someone who had the traits they want and been frustrated by the lack of "spark" at one time or another. The opposite is true aswell. If there's chemistry you're already imagining reasons to forgive his flaws if they aren't too egregious.
There's something about your experience of becoming attracted to someone that we don't quite share, but which seems to have to do with the way the interaction goes or doesn't go. Maybe certain personality intangibles play a role too. | |
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| Definition of Spark
Posted: 9/9/2011 11:00:40 PM | | Spark...you probably didn't flirt back with him. Is it possible that you treated the date more like a interview...spewing facts back and forth but nothing "sparky" worthy that influenced your date to play back with you? Did you show any interest in him? | |
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| Definition of Spark
Posted: 9/10/2011 3:06:34 AM | I have found there are two kinds of "spark", and I don't know what sort he was hoping to feel.
The first one is an immediate fascination with everything about a lady -- it goes far beyond mere romantic or sexual interest. I find myself wanting very much to spend time with her and getting to know her; I may even start fantasizing about a possible future with her. Sexual desire doesn't enter into it, or at least not much. If this spark is really intense, I may keep thinking about her for days even if I never see her again.
The second kind of spark is a tingling, usually felt both in my heart and my pants. If it's mostly in my heart, I'm interested primarily in romance, with sex as an option for later. If it's mostly or entirely below the belt, well ... you know what that's about. | |
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| Definition of Spark
Posted: 9/10/2011 5:08:14 PM | I think a lot of men define it as that very special feeling they get...in their pants. | |
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| Definition of Spark
Posted: 9/10/2011 5:15:19 PM | | Spark is a pile of crap, merely an excuse used by women to get them out of simply saying that they think you're ugly and don't want to date you. A coward's way out. | |
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| Definition of Spark
Posted: 9/15/2011 4:54:42 PM | | ^^^^You're right. Telling a guy he's ugly and you don't want to date him is clearly a better way to go. | |
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| Definition of Spark
Posted: 9/15/2011 5:13:42 PM | There is no definition for what a spark is. It's different for everyone I just ran into that problem my self.
Some people look for a mental connection or spark. Others look for a physical connection. Some look for some combination of both. It really just depends on the person.
Yes to some degree there is that lustfull attraction. You can ask him to elaborate if you still talk to him. But be prepared to hear things you don't want to hear. | |
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| Definition of Spark
Posted: 2/12/2012 8:53:44 AM | I do think it depends on the dates venue so may be a second date should always be made before the spark thing is assessed. I also think saying no spark can be used as a good kop out if you don't physically like the person. Also if a person lies about a slight detail then this spark thing can be a non starter.
I was in contact with someone, but before we met we both thought we were perfect for each other, every box was ticked!
Through texting, talking to each other for hours on the phone and swapping pictures we were falling for each other but it was the worst date ever and after just 2hrs we both agreed there was no spark, Liverpool had just been beat so I was on a downer and she lied about her drinking and smoking habits, she also brought her friend, which was a joke.  | |
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114M3
| | Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 67 | |
| Definition of Spark
Posted: 2/12/2012 9:01:51 AM |
I think a lot of men define it as that very special feeling they get...in their pants.
lmao 
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| Definition of Spark
Posted: 2/12/2012 10:51:21 AM | | For me "spark" or "chemistry" comes in degrees. But regardless of how strong that spark or attraction is, it's the difference between "oh this is a good/nice person" to really seeing him as a man, with whom more could develop. It's the difference between being willing to see someone again since nothing was drastically wrong with him, and maybe I'll like him more over time-- and really wanting to see him again, and soon, because I want more of him. That may or may not involve lust, but it definitely is a clear interest and attraction, and seeing him as a "man". (as opposed to someone with some interesting or pleasant traits, but they would be just as interesting regardless of gender.) | |
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